A Gothic Christmas: A Collection of Three Stage Plays

By G. R. Linden

Gather around the holiday fire for three tales of yuletide terror that will have you boarding up your chimney this Christmas season. In “The Christmas Bargain” visits from a trio of demons put Diedre’s dinner guests in mortal peril. Will any of them survive the night? And what do vampires have to do with Christmas? Find out in

• Language: English
• Publisher: Book Krewe Books LLC
• Release date: Mar 15, 2020
• ISBN: 9781989775059

Book preview

A GOTHIC CHRISTMAS

__________________

A Collection of Three Short Plays

By

G. R. Linden

Published by Book Krewe Books

Copyright © 2018 by G. R. Linden

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission.

ISBN-10: 1989775059

ISBN-13: 9781989775059

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction……………………………5

A CHRISTMAS BARGAIN…………………………………………7

THE GIFT OF THE CALLICANTZAROS……………………68

IT’S A HORRIBLE LIFE………………………………………………83

Introduction

In November twenty-eighteen, I was performing in a production of Shakespeare Teevee for the New Orleans Infringe Fest. The director of that show, Bob Mitchell, asked me if I would be interested in writing a gothic horror adaptation of A Christmas Carol for the local Theater Macabre. I didn’t have the heart to tell him A Christmas Carol already was a gothic horror story. Instead, I said I’d think about it. That night I came up with ideas for three horror adaptations of classic Christmas tales and immediately set to work. I finished the scripts in record time, but the production fell through due to lack of actor availability. What you are about to read are those unproduced scripts. I hope you enjoy them.

A CHRISTMAS BARGAIN

___________________

By

G. R. Linden

Based on A Christmas Carol

by Charles Dickens

Dramatis Personae

DIEDRE: A woman in her early 40’s. Widow.

AINSLEY: A woman in her early 20’s. Volunteer.

TIM: A man in his 20’s. Seminary Student. 

ABE: A man in his early 50’s. Deadbeat.

ELYMAS: A man in his late 40’s. Diedre’s dead husband.

ADRAMELECH: A Demon. High Chancellor of Hell.

NAAMAH: A Demon. The First Apparition. A succubus.

DANTALION: A Demon. The Second Apparition. Deceiver.

GREMORY: A Demon. Third Apparition. Corrupter of Maidens.

ACT I

Scene I

SETTING:                              Interior Community Center.

The center has just hosted its annual holiday party. There are assorted tables, chairs, empty food platers and assorted Christmas decorations all over the stage. 

AT RISE:                              DIEDRE, AINSLEY, TIM, and ABE

cleaning up trash and putting away tables and chairs.

TIM

Well, I think that was a rousing success.

ABE

If you call Mrs. Carrolton vomiting cranberry sauce all over the bathroom a rousing success; then, sure, it was a rousing success.

DEIDRE

Now Abe, be nice. The woman had a bit too much to drink. It happens to the best of us.

ABE

Easy for you to say, you didn’t have to clean it up.

AINSLEY

And we all appreciate your noble sacrifice. Which you already know, because we’ve told you that the last ten times you’ve brought it up.

TIM

But I’ll thank you again all the same.

AINSLEY

Maybe when she sobers up she’ll feel guilty and cut us a bigger check.

ABE

She’d better.

TIM

If Mrs. Carrolton decides to make a donation; then we will be grateful for it, whatever the amount.

DEIDRE

Amen.

AINSLEY

Of course, Tim. I’m just frustrated. You do such good work here and it’s a shame that you have to pinch pennies and beg people for money to do it.

TIM

I like to think of it as God preparing me for my vow of poverty.

AINSLEY

How long now?

TIM

Six weeks.

ABE

Don’t think I’m going to start calling you Father. I’ve got ingrown hairs older than you.

AINSLEY

That’s an image I didn’t need.

TIM

I don’t plan on resting on formalities. Tim will do just fine, collar or no. I hope you’ll all come for my ordination.

AINSLEY

Wouldn’t miss it.

DEIDRE

Oh, look at you. You’ll be so handsome with a collar. You know my son considered going into the ministry before he….

(DEIDRE begins to cry.)

AINSLEY

Oh, it’s okay come here.

(AINSLEY hugs and holds DIEDRE.) 

TIM

I wish I could have met him. I’m sure we would have good friends.

ABE

Always with the waterworks this one.

TIM

Abe, be nice.

DEIDRE

I’m sorry, it’s just hard for me around the holidays.

AINSLEY

We understand completely.

DEIDRE

I just get so lonely up in that big house all by myself. The house used to be so full of life. I would cook the grandest meals for the four of us and I-

(DEIDRE starts sobbing again.)

ABE

Oh boy.

AINSLEY

I’ve got you.

TIM

Deidre, if there is anything we can do, please just ask.

DEIDRE

You’re so sweet. And far too good to me. There is one thing. Oh, but that’s too much to ask.

AINSLEY

What is it?