From Both Hips (NHB Modern Plays)

By Mark O?Rowe

A gripping drama about revenge and absolution, from the award-winning author of Howie the Rookie.
Paul has been accidentally shot in the hip by a policeman. Back from hospital, he is bitter and self-pitying. He is also two-timing his wife. Then the policeman appears with an apology, a gun and an extraordinary suggestion...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nick Hern Books
• Release date: Nov 20, 2014
• ISBN: 9781780014418

Book preview

ACT ONE

Scene One

A sitting room in a normal, working-class house. Stage left, the hallway to the front door. Up right, the door to the sitting room. Up left, stairs leading off. A table and chairs. A sofa. LIZ sits on the sofa reading the paper. ADELE stands in the centre of the room, looking around. She exits. She returns. She exits again.

LIZ. Adele! (Calling.) Adele! What are you doing? C’mere!

ADELE (entering, just inside door to kitchen). What?

LIZ. See what it says here?

ADELE. What? (Exits.)

LIZ (calling). Where are you going? Will you stop going in and out? Come back in, will you?

ADELE (offstage). What?

LIZ. Come back in and sit down.

ADELE enters and stands there.

What are you doing?

ADELE. I’m looking for the ship.

LIZ. Well, just ask me. It’s inside on top of the press. It’s grand. Sit down.

ADELE. No, I’ll stand. What does it say?

LIZ. It says… You’re making me very nervous, there.

ADELE. Good. Go on. Read. Tell me.

LIZ. Something I never knew. Something very surprising. Dogs…

ADELE. Mmm?

LIZ. … Dogs. Right here, some professor. Dogs are incapable of love.

ADELE. Dogs?

LIZ. … Some professor, here. Although they appear, he says, loving and affectionate, they actually don’t have any emotions. It’s all… The way they act, their behaviour. It’s all instinctual.

ADELE. Yeah?

LIZ. That’s not really fair, is it?

ADELE. Why not?

LIZ. Well, love’s a two-way street. I wouldn’t want to be giving love to something if it wasn’t going to love me back.

Pause.

ADELE. Mmm.

LIZ. You know?

ADELE. Were you thinking of buying a dog?

LIZ. No, no, God!

ADELE. Well, then.

LIZ. But I know people who have dogs. Ciara and Joe have one, and thing… Theresa Nolan. She’s fairly into her dog, actually. She comes out sometimes, she reeks of it, you can smell it off her clothes and all.

ADELE. Reeks?

LIZ. Bits of brown hairs on her jumper. Yeah, reeks. Ah, I’m a bit addled now, damn!

ADELE sits down and lights a cigarette.

ADELE. What’s wrong?

LIZ. I feel like I should do something about it.

ADELE. Do some… What?

LIZ. I feel like I should tell them.

ADELE. Who? Theresa Nolan?

LIZ. She’s fairly into her dog. Ciara and Joe… Who else do I…?

ADELE. Tell them what? That their dogs don’t love them?

LIZ. Yeah. They should know.

ADELE. Ah, Liz.

LIZ. If I don’t tell them, they could go on through life living a lie. Their dogs don’t love them, even though they love their dogs. That’s a lie, they’re being cheated, they should be told. On the other hand…

ADELE. On the other hand, ignorance, Liz.

LIZ. What about it?

ADELE. Ignorance is bliss.

LIZ. It’s ignorance, Adele. Nothing good comes of it. I’m saying if I tell, it’ll hurt. It’ll hurt at first.

ADELE. Could.

LIZ. Nobody likes being told they’re in an unrequited relationship.

ADELE. You wouldn’t call it a relationship.

Pause.

LIZ. Are they communicating, Adele?

ADELE. I don’t…

LIZ. In some way, a dog and its master, mistress. Its owner. Are they, like, aware of each other?

ADELE. I suppose.

LIZ. Well, then they’re communicating. It’s happening over a period of time, then it’s a relationship. There’s physical contact going on? Yes. In Theresa Nolan’s case, a lot, judging from the stink on her, then it’s a close relationship. Jesus! She feels love, the dog feels nothing, she’s being made a fool of. Her dog’s working the dark trick on her.

ADELE. The what?

LIZ. The dark trick. And she’s not the type of girl who has many friends. It’s probably the best friend she has. She’s playing the fool for her dog and she doesn’t even know it, she thinks it’s two-sided and… You all right?

ADELE is distant.

…She’s getting nothing in return. Are you all right?

Beat.

ADELE. Hmm? (Beat.) Yeah. I’m just… I’m kinda… I’m like… Just give me two minutes.

LIZ. Are you sure?

ADELE (flustered). No, no. Just gimme… I have to get my head…

LIZ. Okay.

ADELE.… Just two minutes, give me.

LIZ. Okay. You sure? Do you want me to get something for you?

ADELE. Yeah. No. I’m fine. It’s just… Okay. All right. That’s it.

LIZ. I’m say…

ADELE. Go on. Tell me the rest.

LIZ. I’m saying… You all right?

ADELE. Sorry. Yeah. My mind was just… This way, that, up, million directions. Go on.

LIZ. It’s all right… Well… For some people, you love some one and they don’t love you. But they like you. Some people can live with that. That’s enough for them. Least there’s some emotion going on, okay? But a dog… doesn’t… feel… anything. What do you think?

ADELE. Well, are you sure it’s true?

LIZ. It says it right here in the Echo, Adele.

ADELE. But, that doesn’t make it…

LIZ (interrupting, getting up). I’m gonna ring Theresa. To hell with the other two, Ciara and… They’ve got each other, anyway.

ADELE. You’re gonna ring, what are you gonna do?

LIZ. I’m gonna ring Theresa.

LIZ picks up the phone and dials. ADELE puts her cigarette out.

(Into phone.) Hello? Theresa. How are you? It’s… Who d’you think it is? It’s Liz. Yeah, how’s it going?

ADELE exits to the kitchen.

Listen. What are you doing? Nothing. Good. Come over to Adele’s house, will you? (Pause.) Because… Just come over and you’ll find out. I need to tell you something. That doesn’t… (Pause.) That’s no excuse, you just told me you weren’t doing anything, so come on. Half an hour or so. All right? (Pause.) Bit of company since you’re bored. (Pause.) Yes, it is important. Yep. Okay. See you then.

LIZ (calling to kitchen). I told her to drop down. (Pause.