Perceptions

By Jane Vlasblom

Hope prevails when heaven holds its breath for Alna, as greed, deception, and danger pervade the life of the young woman.

In Jane Vlasblom’s second book in the trilogy, Perceptions, readers contend with the burden of struggle, experienced in all human journeys, as it manifests for the characters in revelations of dar

• Language: English
• Publisher: Burnstown Publishing House
• Release date: Oct 1, 2017
• ISBN: 9781772571615

Book preview

Chapter 1

I’m not sure I can watch my own funeral, Sibajak, a soul entity, communicated telepathically to Poloa, the male presence she had come to know as her Heavenly Guide. Sibajak was viewing the funeral of Sage, her most recent incarnation on Earth. It’s hard to watch my family missing me; they look so sad, and I want to reach out to them. Janna is crying. Janna, I’m here.

AT THAT INSTANT, her oldest daughter stopped on the bottom step of the long, painted, wooden staircase leading to the basement of the church where the family was gathering before joining the rest of the mourners. She looked behind her for someone who may have called her name but quickly dismissed it as her imagination.

Poloa responded, Please be aware that you are engaging human emotions. Sibajak acknowledged the comment with a telepathic nod, and her emotion faded. This experience differs greatly from four years ago when you decided to return to Earth. Do you recall?

Yes—four years ago, you led me through the review of my entire life; I assume we don’t need to repeat that.

No, it is not a requirement, although you are free to ask for more insight into your life as Sage. We reviewed your first thirty-nine years and eleven months on your first return. The four years that followed can be reviewed as well.

I believe I fulfilled my Plan over the past four years. I hope I’m right. Sibajak’s tone grew more excited. It was an incredible experience. I had been afraid most of my life; then I found new work, a loving husband, and watched my daughters grow into strong young women. Those years were magical. Then with a serious tone she added, But I know the happy times could not have happened without all that early stuff. I’m so glad it worked out.

Poloa was very matter of fact, It ensued as it should, once you allowed it to do so.

The toughest lesson on Earth was to get out of my own way and let the Plan unfold. Now, if it’s all right, I want to find out what this next assignment entails. With some apprehension, Sibajak said, Can you tell me what to do, or do I need to figure it out on my own? Will you stick around to help me?

You are never on your own, Sibajak, but your life as Sage has just been completed, and you may require some healing in order to recover from life on Earth before you commence with your revised Plan.

But Alna needs me now. I cut short Sage’s beautiful years on Earth just to help her; so why don’t we just get started? I want to help guide her in any way I can.

ALNA WAS SAGE’S best friend on Earth. As a member of Sibajak’s soul family at Home, she was known as Aulania.

It is not the case, however, that you must hurry; time is an Earthly perception, and I would be remiss in my guiding duties if I did not encourage you to take advantage of the healing opportunities available to you. While on Earth, your dream time was utilized to advance your abilities. You have the required skills to guide Alna from Home. However, you must be attentive; there is more to learn.

Well, maybe, if you think it’s necessary. What is this healing process?

There is counselling designed specifically for you; or, you could visit with your grandparents as you did in your previous return, or visit with anyone that you choose.

I remember the last time I returned, I played with Adele in our big old stone house in Byerton. We loved that house and we had so much fun there. It’s good to know that her soul has returned to Earth as my daughter Janna, but I look forward to welcoming her Home when she’s ready—hopefully after a long and happy life. Sibajak switched to a playful, teasing tone, Now that I am Home for good, what else do you have for me? Is there a spa I can go to?

You jest, but certainly you may enjoy any of the luxuries you had on Earth; and you may visit with Adele if you please.

Sibajak heard a familiar childish voice. It was Sage’s beloved sister Adele, still at the age of eleven, as she was when she left Earth. Her thick, dark hair was mussed but still in long braids. She was restless but smiling. It was sunny, and the sky was a clear, bright blue.

Come on, Sage, we can go and play in our house. Remember how much fun we had on the banister in the big hall? We can play hide and seek in the lilac bushes; you always loved that. The home Sage remembered fondly had been a working farm with sheds and fenced gardens, and the girls had enjoyed roaming the vast property playing games inside and out.

Sibajak was suddenly eight-year-old Sage again. Her thin, brown hair was in a ponytail that had slid down her head from near the top to the middle. Adele, I’m so happy to see you, but didn’t you return to Earth as Janna?

Yes, but I can be here with you too. Come on, let’s go play. This is what you have been looking forward to.

Of course I want to play with you in our house but I have some work to do first.

With the confidence of an older sister in charge, Adele said, You know you can do both; you can help Alna and play with me, too.

Is that true, Poloa? Sibajak asked out of confusion.

Yes, your focus can be used in more than one situation.

Suddenly Sage was in shorts and a white T-shirt, barefoot, running across the lush green lawn of their childhood home, chasing her sister. Then, surprisingly, they were inside the huge stone house with the central hall plan. They were in the vast hallway, and Sage watched as Adele ran to the top of the staircase and slid down the long banister with a big smile on her face. The years in Byerton were both wonderful and confusing for Sage as Adele dealt unsuccessfully with her depression; but when Adele was happy, so was Sage.

After a lengthy playtime, Poloa intruded in the scene, You have many choices available but you arrived here with a plan in place: to guide Alna.

But I want to be here with Adele. Maybe you should be her Guide; you have helped me so much.

Poloa interrupted the playtime to address Sibajak: Alna knows and trusts you. You share a soul family and memories of past lifetimes. Her Plan is linked with yours; you were to transform together. You are best qualified to help her remember.

Sibajak stopped playing with Adele to respond. But what if I’m not? I don’t want to think I gave up my good years on Earth to do something that I can’t do.

You have returned to your human perspective. Think of the good you planned with Aulania and how you wanted more than anything to be together. You know she is at your funeral, missing you and feeling lost. You are the only one who can ease that pain. She needs Sage … or, rather, Sibajak.

Sibajak’s focus returned as soul entity and she said to the soul she knew on Earth as her sister Adele, I would love to keep playing with you but I think Alna needs more of my focus. She is supposed to finish her Plan with this incarnation. She needs to complete her journey so we can work together from Home. Is that all right? She remembered that as Adele, she was her hard-to-please older Earthly sister.

Yes, of course, you silly … but I’m always ready to play with you when you want. Are you really sure you have to go?

Yes. As the focus was removed from Adele, she vanished.

Poloa asked, Are you certain that you wish to complete this work exclusively, and not remain in part with Adele?

Yes, I really just want to focus on helping Alna, but I will need lots of help. You know I’ve never done this before.

Poloa was pleased with the commitment. Before you can guide Alna, you must consolidate your own Earthly lessons. Now, concisely relay to me what you learned on the third plane as Sage.

Well, I learned there was a reason for each person I met to be in my life; there was no encounter that was insignificant. Learning to cherish not just my loving relationships but everyone who entered my life was important. Everyone had a lesson for me. All humans are equally deserving of the good that life offers but we are each at our own stage of development and we don’t appear to be equal. I needed to share what I had learned through my teaching and did, even when I felt inclined to hesitate or to stop. I moved forward within my Plan. I believe I have advanced as far as my Plan demanded and I am ready for new challenges and new realms, after Alna joins me.

Poloa offered praise, Well done. Your current challenge is to observe the struggles of Aulania, or Alna as you still think of her, without an Earthly emotional involvement. You are Home, but as a Guide you have access to both Earth and Home; you can remember the human experience, otherwise you would not be equipped to guide. I suggest we watch the final days of Sage’s life before the funeral. This will allow you to transition your perspective more easily and serve to highlight the issues that you must manage.

Sage’s family must be having trouble accepting that I’ve left Earth and returned Home. Alna must be upset. Sage was so young.

They will understand completely once they are Home. Which life events of Sage do you suppose to be the most significant?

"My life as Sage had been a struggle for most of the forty-four years. At the age of nine, I lost my dear big sister Adele and was left alone with grieving parents; it felt as if I had also lost my entire family. It was worse for my parents. There were many whispers in the community that Adele had committed suicide, and they felt ashamed. We moved to Sterling soon after.

Mom felt so much guilt about Adele’s death and worried for her salvation but she was determined to save me, her only remaining child. Our move to Sterling included a new church that taught very strict morals with corresponding rules that Mom suddenly embraced. That church is where I met my Alna, my best friend for the rest of my life. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever met, with that blonde hair and sparkling smile. We had so much fun together; we were so close. I wasn’t as good looking as her, with my mousy brown hair and more ordinary looks, but I felt pretty when I was with her. The boys were crazy about her but she never let on that she knew, at least not to most people.

Your upbringing could have restricted your development, but you maintained an open-minded outlook with the help of another friend from your church, Greg.

Sibajak seemed wistful, Yes, my dear Greg. If I had married him first my life would have been much more pleasant.

But your first marriage to Alex provided the impetus to learn your lessons. Working for Blaine did as well.

I remember hating him … Blaine, that is.

SAGE HAD WORKED for Alna’s husband, Blaine, in a real estate development company, The Dole Group, which he owned in Sterling, a city of 125,000, one hundred miles from Toronto. He was a tall, good-looking man with a flashy smile when he chose to use it. Alna and Blaine lived in a district of the city called Port Mahonie. The Flax River, which served as the boundary, kept it separate from the rest of the city. It had its own sense of community and provided the setting for what appeared to be Alna’s idyllic childhood.

As kids, outwardly we were the typical good girls the church wanted us to be; but inwardly we both welcomed the adventurous influence of Selina. She was the third in our self-proclaimed trio, and we followed her, often against our own best judgment. Selina gave us many chances to grow. Sibajak revelled in the memories.

As young adults, you forged stronger bonds.

"We spent many hours together at the Port Diner, the high school hangout that Selina had introduced us to. We shared our lives there and gave each other support. I got through the high school years intact, but Selina had more fun then than anyone I knew. I often wished to be as much fun and carefree as her, until later, when I saw how she treated her marriage. After high school, we all went to the same university and got married shortly after. I married Alex, my boyfriend since Grade 12, and Selina married Seth, a law school student from our hometown. Alna married Blaine, who was several years older than her but still at university long after he graduated. He stayed that last year to become president of the university student union, but Alex and I wondered why he would when he already had his realtor’s licence. Alna completed her honours degree in Fine Arts that year, and I finished my business degree.

Alna and Selina both returned to Sterling after they married, but I followed Alex to Toronto so he could pursue a sales career. Our daughters, Janna and Grace, were born in Toronto, and life was good for us until Alex grew unhappy with his work. I agreed to leave a job that I loved to move back to Sterling so Alex could work for his father. We bought a house in Port Mahonie that was perfect for us and the girls, and, with urging from Alna, I accepted a position as financial manager with Blaine’s company. I often thought it was a huge mistake.

You are describing physical events. Sage’s character development is of more concern. The time spent in Blaine’s employ was tumultuous and provided many learning opportunities.

Blaine proved to be controlling and extremely egotistical, alternating often between charming and enraged; he was so unpredictable. However, my husband, Alex, saw him as his personal beacon for success. He agreed to buy into several ventures with Blaine that ended badly financially for us, but his devotion never wavered. I felt he could never be as devoted to me as he was to Blaine. Alna showed the same devotion to Blaine, either ignoring or forgiving his many transgressions and blaming his behaviours on his stresses at work. He had cheated on her, and his shady business dealings must have weighed heavily on Alna, although she would never admit it to us, or to herself. My husband and my best friend chose to keep him in their lives, and I felt betrayed; I didn’t know how to move forward most of the time.

That brings us to your previous visit Home when you considered exercising an out in your Plan.

AN OUT IS a pre-planned exit opportunity to leave Earth before the completion of a Plan. It may be exercised when a soul feels life on Earth has become dreadful to the point of needing to leave.

Yes, that point in my life was overwhelming, as you know, but it was the right decision to go back for the last four years. They were so gratifying.

Poloa said with satisfaction, They were, indeed. You completed your lessons. You added to the knowledge base on Earth through your work and you added love. Your life was purposeful and fulfilled your Plan. Returning to his usual tone, Poloa said, Alna is not in that position yet, as she has passed on the outs in her Plan.

Sibajak quickly overcame any concerns. Well, that’s good. She needs to finish her incarnations. I think she is strong enough to continue but she needs help, desperately. Okay, so do we need to continue looking at my life as Sage?

You are attempting to progress at a pace better suited to your life on Earth. We must collaborate. Please continue your life story.

Well, I used an out, or almost used it, to talk with you. We reviewed my entire life to that point in time. I had been working for Blaine for several years and had to put up with his erratic behaviour. He acted as if he were always right and could never be questioned when he made a mistake; he only looked for someone to blame. He tried to get me to commit fraud for him, and thankfully I resisted. I wish my husband had been able to say no to him.

Alex was easily led astray.

"Yes, he not only put money into Blaine’s schemes, he also followed his lead and had affairs. It was a dark time in my life. All I wanted was a nice family. After years of arguing, going for counselling, reconciling, and regressing, we finally agreed to separate. On the same day, I quit my job. Blaine didn’t take it well and told Alna that she couldn’t see me for a while. That was heartbreaking for both of us, but she gave in to him again. She probably thought it would all blow over after a month or so. On top of all that, Port was being dismantled by Blaine for his so-called version of progress. He even tore down the Port Diner. It was all too much for me. The next morning, I went for a drive to figure out what I would say to my daughters about the separation and then I saw the truck coming toward me. I remember thinking, If I hit this truck, all my problems would be over."

But you avoided the collision.

And ended up in a ditch, then the hospital. It was while in the hospital that you and I first met.

It was not our first meeting. I was with you before you began your Earthly journey.

I know that now. Sibajak paused to reflect. But I had to go back; my girls were too young to be without a mother, and I needed time to complete my lessons. In those last four years, I had many odd ideas that I didn’t share with my family; they would have thought I was crazy. They had no idea how much that visit changed me.

But you did find someone with whom to share your so-called crazy ideas.

Yes, you mean Amanda. She was a blessing for me. We had known each other through my work in Toronto. I had not seen her for more than ten years when she walked into the Port Mahonie library. I was in there one day as I was recovering from the accident. She was on a break from a seminar she was giving. It seemed like such a fluke.

You know now it was arranged and that she was to be your teacher on Earth.

Yes, she taught me so much. It was so good to share my ideas with someone without feeling I would be seen as an eccentric.

Amanda has many capabilities as a teacher. Her purpose is different from what is apparent to others. She is a speaker for the truth. She has knowledge that others need but are unaware of requiring and a gift for applying her knowledge in practical ways. She can indeed be of great service to the loved ones you left behind. You knew this when you revised your Plan to return early.

I know, too, that my Plan included Alna’s return with me.

Yes, and you chose to return Home early in order to help her complete her journey during this incarnation. Your revised Plan provides a different experience than the triumphant rejoining of the trio of souls you originally planned together, but your decision was made with wisdom, and there is much anticipation here for your happy reunion. Do you recall your lessons in training as a Guide?

There were many vivid dreams that I couldn’t understand, one shortly after I returned. I remember seeing my neighbour’s golden retriever, Clancy, in the lake, and a snake was swimming toward him. I was frightened for the dog. I watched the snake’s head slip under the surface and saw its body was at least eight inches wide. It was grey with a diamond pattern on its skin. The dog slowly disappeared under the water. I wanted to try to save it, but a man to my left, no one that I recognized, told me the dog would be fine. He was very calming, and I just stood and watched to see what would happen. Whenever I got upset the voice of the man reassured me that it would be okay. Suddenly I saw the snake swim away. Before I could reach for the dog it floated to the surface, on its back, with his paws curled above him. His nose was above the surface and he was breathing, apparently unharmed and not afraid. I woke up.

That dream signified the great changes you would encounter and my reassurance that all would be well.

You gave me that dream?

Yes; Sage did not understand but you, Sibajak, did. You have yet to reconcile your Earthly experiences with who you really are.

Sibajak was reflective, Do I need to become perfect in order to guide Alna? Obviously I don’t know everything yet.

Perfection is a human concept. No one reaches perfection, it does not exist. There is always potential growth, transformation, and transcendence. Without waiting for a response, Poloa continued. Let us look at the final days of Sage, beginning with the heart attack.

Chapter 2

JUST AS IN the previous review, scenes appeared as if on a stage before Sibajak and Poloa. One came into focus of a family dinner with Sage and Greg in their Port Mahonie home. Sage was a tall woman with a pleasant face and a constant smile that appeared after she recovered from her accident four years earlier. Greg’s strawberry blond hair was kept short to keep the curls under control. His freckled face was kind and friendly. He was slightly over six feet tall and they shared the same thin physique. They were hosting Sage’s daughters, their boyfriends, and her parents, Natalie and John Silje, now in their early seventies. They were happily celebrating the high school graduation of the younger daughter Grace, an attractive young woman, tall and slender, with the same straight brown hair as her mother, which she chose to wear short and away from her face, giving her a sophisticated look. Her older sister, Janna, was slightly shorter, also very pretty but with plain features. She had long, thick, dark hair that flowed down her back.

ON THIS DAY of celebration, they were both cheerful and playful, teasing each other and their boyfriends, who looked comfortable with their place as welcome guests. Sage and her parents were seated in the dining room, and Greg scurried back and forth between the kitchen and the table until the girls arrived to help. Greg looked a bit frazzled and worried as he asked for instructions about the meal preparation.

"I hadn’t really noticed that his hair was looking grey around the temples. I hadn’t been feeling well all day, and Greg did all the cooking. It was exciting to have the whole family at my house. My parents obviously made wonderful grandparents, but it took a crisis, my accident, to make me realize they were my ideal parents as well. They taught me the value of hard work and perseverance. I realized, too, how difficult it must have been to go on after Adele died. Perhaps they didn’t handle it well, but I know they did it for me. Considering they were not my original choice for parents, I was truly blessed and now I feel a strong connection with all of them.

Everyone was happy and in a good mood except for Greg, who knew I wasn’t well. I took a few bites of my dinner but had to stop when the burning in my stomach intensified and I felt a strong pain in my jaw. I heard my head hit the table, and then woke up in the hospital. I found I was floating to the ceiling repeatedly but kept returning to my body.

The attraction of Home is often too great for humans to resist, but you returned to your body.

I wanted to say goodbye to my family. Now I wonder about the revised Plan. Why would Sage think about leaving when she was finally living the life of her dreams? I was loved. I had purpose. Those last four years felt like a reward for the years before. My girls were such a joy in my life and Greg was the perfect husband. This is difficult to relive. This certainly isn’t what Sage wants. I had floated above my body after the car accident, too, but this time I had angels with me; I didn’t understand why they were there. I didn’t realize that meant I was coming Home for good.

Poloa was patient as Sibajak returned to a human perspective. You must be mindful of the perspective you engage. Sage feels loss; she is human. You, Sibajak, know there is no loss, only transformation and growth. He paused to give Sibajak an opportunity to reflect and asked, Why did you return Home?

After a few times back and forth, I saw the light and couldn’t resist it anymore. It was very peaceful.

Poloa’s tone was kind. You successfully acquired the perspective you need at Home. As Alna’s Guide you must maintain the perspectives of both Heaven and Earth, but you cannot get immersed in Earthly emotions. You may empathize with the human existence, but not live it. Do you understand?

Yes, I understand, but I’m not sure if I can do that. Watching them suffer makes me want to return to them, to comfort them.

Let us continue the hospital scene.

THEY WITNESSED SAGE in a hospital bed as family members took turns visiting.

In the hospital, I felt fine. Yes, I had drugs in my system but I mean I wasn’t afraid of dying. I was sure everything would be okay. Greg and the girls and Mom and Dad came often; they didn’t want me to be alone. Selina found time to visit, too. And then Alex came to see me. It was sad that he couldn’t say to me what he needed to say, so I told him that he gave me the two best children that were ever born and that I was grateful. He still couldn’t ask for it but I sent him a message that I forgave him.

Forgiveness was another powerful lesson that you learned. He received the message but wondered if he had imagined it.

Sibajak felt sadness. That’s too bad. It would be nice for him to move forward in this lifetime.

Poloa assured Sibajak, His soul family has planned for his care. Sibajak was satisfied with the response. Do you have a better understanding of the role Alex played in the life of Sage?

"Yes, we each presented the other with opportunities to learn and grow, maybe too many. I had to