No More Secrets

By Breanna J

Who said there's no problems amongst people in the church. Harmony is proof of that. With being a pastor's daughter, she has always lived in a glass house along with the rest of her family. But she quickly finds out that even in a glass house secrets are kept. From murder to adultery, to homosexuality. Harmony world goes upside down, and

• Language: English
• Publisher: Epic Dynasty Publishing
• Release date: Feb 8, 2019
• ISBN: 9781794686687

Book preview

No More Secrets

Life of a Church Girl

By:

Breanna J

Copyright 2018

Published by Epic dynasty Publishing LLC

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written consent of the publisher, except brief quotes used in reviews.

This is a work of fiction. Any references or similarities to actual event, real people, living or dead or to real locals are intended to give the novel a sense of reality. Any similarity in other names, characters, places, and incidents are entirely coincidental.

Address:

Email: [e-mail]

Publisher: Epic Dynasty Publishing

Book Cover Designed by: Bryant Sparks

Edited By: Alexis Quentin

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my grandmother Madeline E. (Haygood) Maloney who I lost on 12/08/2018 while writing this book.

I love you grandma.

Prologue

You, you have driven me to a place that even God himself cannot bring me back from. I love you, I’ve done things for you I never thought I would ever do, and you played me and broke me. You've destroyed the woman I was. I gave you all of me: my body, heart, and my mind, and you took all of it and drove me here. I pour into you. Filled you up with love, support and everything else you need, and now here I am broken and empty, and if you even open your mouth to give me a whack ass sorry, I promise, I am going to put a bullet in that dick of yours, I said to Trae, waving his own gun at him. To think this was the man I was madly in love with, and I was so hurt that I much rather see him dead than alive at this point.

Harmony baby, listen. We can talk about this, but stop waving the gun before someone gets hurt, he said

Hurt! I’m already that, so what is there for us to talk about? What else is there for you to lie to me about? I said.

    As Trae stood there with his hands up trying to talk me down, the door opened, and my dad and Miracle came in. Miracle’s eyes were big, and my dad looked, but I wasn’t surprised. I looked like how I felt. My hair was all over, and my clothes looked like I had just rolled out of bed.

Harmony, baby girl, what are you doing? my dad asked me.

Handling this devil I should have never let come in my life as you said, I told him with my eyes still locked on Trae and the gun still pointed at him as well.

Harmony, this is not the way, Miracle said.

Really, little sis?  Then what is the way? What am I supposed to do, pray about it, or am I supposed to run to the church about it? I said to her in a sarcastic voice.

We can pray, we can do whatever you want, but don’t let him be the reason you don’t make it into heaven, my dad said.   

    I threw my hands up in the air. Oh, my God, Dad, everything is not about God or the church!

Everything is about God. He makes all things possible, my dad said to me.

Stop it! Just stop. Instead of being a pastor, be my dad for once please!

I am so tired of Bishop Smith and being the daughter of Bishop Smith. Please take off the robe and just be a normal dad for once! I yelled.

Harmony! I am still your father, and you will respect me as such. All I am asking of you is to think this through. Think about your soul. Is it worth spending eternity in hell burning just to get revenge when you can let go pray about it, and God will handle him and heal you? my dad asked. I

gave off an evil laugh. Children obey your parents in the lord, for this is right; honor thy father and mother, Ephesians 6 and 1. So, I should obey my dad and run and go pray…. Yeah, Dad, I don’t think that's going to work for me. You want me to run and pray to a God that is the reason why I’m here? Well, Dad, I have been praying and look at us. Clearly, he isn't listening or in the business of answering my call, ‘cause if so, he would have never let me fall in love with this sorry excuse of a man. Nor would he have let me go through all this hurt. I prayed, and here I am broken. So, no Dad, I cannot obey you and do that. God let me down, so from where I’m standing, I have nothing else to say. Now, it’s time I take things into my own hands, I said with tears in my eyes.

    I had put so much into being a good daughter, a good girlfriend, and a God-fearing woman, but I was at the end of my ropes. I was hurting, I had been hurting, and no one cared or saw it ‘cause I kept keeping a smile on my face, I kept going to church, and I kept putting everyone else above myself. My dad came and stood next to me. I looked at him in the eyes. Daughter, your faith has been shaken; I understand it happens, so if you can’t trust in him, trust in me. Just give me the gun, he said to me.

    As I looked at my dad, I wanted to trust him. I tried to give him the gun, but the more I looked at him, the more I realized that Trae was the only one that birthed a lot of this hurt I was dealing with. Tears started to roll down my face, and my dad stepped closer. I shook my head no. No, what, Harmony? my dad asked.

I can’t trust you; you’ve let me down too.

Why can’t you trust me? When did I let you down? I’m your father; all I want is the best for you, my dad said.

You haven’t been my father in a while; you’re just my pastor.

I am always your father, and I am always here for you.

Are you? Then where were you when I needed you to protect me? Not just from Trae, because I can admit, it was my desires that got me here with him, but what about when your members were judging me, when I was trying to find out who I was outside of being a church girl? Where was my dad when I needed someone to tell me it was okay not to be perfect and that we all fell short sometimes, or when your saint was using the word to hurt me instead of helping me? Where were you, Dad? You turned a blind eye to when your children needed you, even in your church because it wasn’t the picture-perfect stuff you wanted to deal with. I needed you, I need my dad, and you weren’t there, because your kids came second to your church and ministry.

My dad looked, and for the first time, Bishop Smith had nothing to say.

    I noticed Trae trying to move and turned my attention back to him. I wish you would try me, Trayvon.

Harmony, let him go, Miracle said with tears in her eyes. "

But sis, I love him, and we both know love hurts. Trae says he loves me, so he needs to get his fair share of hurt too," I said.

Harmony baby, I wasn't there for you before, but I am here now. Let me help you. Give me the gun, my father said. I just looked at my dad.

Harmony, just give him the gun, Miracle said.

Can y'all just control her crazy ass so I can leave, and I promise I will never be back? Trae said.

Crazy? Crazy? Oh, baby, you ain't seen crazy yet, but I will sure as hell show you! I screamed.

    You're probably wondering what the hell drove a little pastor’s daughter from Mississippi to this point. Well, my dad used to tell me we all got demons, and they all have different names. Mine just so happened to be named Trayvon. Let me take you back and tell you what got us here.

Chapter 1

Trayvon

Oh, my God, I can’t believe this. Trae, I always wanted to get with you; I just never thought it would happen. I can’t believe that out of all the girls that were in the club tonight, you picked me, shorty said as we sat in my truck. It was pretty funny how she was talking. You would have thought I was some major celebrity instead of some local drug dealer that had been to jail before, but shit, now-a-days these bitches so dumb, all it took was a little bit of money to make these bitches do anything you wanted. Glad the woman I had at home wasn’t like that. There was always girls around me or chasing me, but I only mess with women that hold their own and keep their mouth shut about what we do, I said to her.

You ain’t gotta worry about nothin’. I won’t tell no one, she said.

As we sat in the car and I looked at shorty, I realized the more the Henny wore off, the less attractive this chick was, but shit, when we were in the club, I was looking at everything but her face. She had all that ass, and I was an ass type of nigga.

Trae, I know so much about you, I can’t believe I’m sitting in your car! she said.

Really? What you know about me?

Well, from what I hear, you got money, and I’m not talking about a little nine to five money. I mean you got money-money. I also know that you real low key and don’t draw too much attention to yourself and what you do. They say that you were locked up and haven’t been home that long. They also say that you bounce from chick to chick, but I don’t care about any of that. I want my night with you, because I also heard that the dick is beyond fantastic, she said as she leaned over my armrest and kissed my neck and rubbed on my dick from the outside of my pants.

I looked at her. Where you heard all that from?

You know the streets be talkin’, especially when it comes to niggas that’s making moves. I’m glad they were talking though, because it put me on the lookout for you and made me want you, she said.

At this point, I was completely turned off, and no matter how hard my dick was, I was not putting my dick in this bitch when she freely aired out everything she heard about me without even knowing what type of nigga I truly am. 

You know what, shorty, it's getting late; this ain't gon’ even work, I said to her as I moved her hand.

Yes, it will, baby, relax and let me show you, she said as she moved and put her knees in my seat and leaned over the armrest. She unbuckled my pants and retrieved my dick from my briefs and pants. 

The whole situation was pretty sad and had me thinking hard, this wasn’t even my shorty, but she was about to get freaky in the car for me in an empty parking lot all over what people had told her. Damn, now I see why these bitches out here talkin’ ‘bout you the way that they do; this shit is lovely, she said as she looked at my dick and rubbed it.

Shorty went ahead and started to give me head. Although I wasn’t turned on, I figured quick head was cool, and then I would put this bitch out my car and take my ass home to my shorty where I should have been by now anyway.

After what seemed to be the most extended three minutes, I realized this head wasn’t even worth it. I’m not sure if it was the teeth or the fact that she was only sucking on the tip, or maybe it was that I still thought about all she just said, but this shit was not working for me. I picked up my phone and looked at it. Then I put my hand under shorty’s chin and lifted her up.

I got to go, hun, maybe another time; I can drop you off at your car, I said.

Why you got to go? Harmony callin’ you? she asked with a straight face. That shit caught me off guard.

Bitch, what did you just say? I asked.

Harmony? Your girlfriend? Wifey! Did you think I didn’t know? Yeah, that information was passed on to me too, she said with confidence.

So, you know I got a girl, but you in here sucking my dick?

Shit, I don’t owe that bitch no loyalty. I don’t know her, that’s your shorty, and truth be told, if she were doing what she had to as a woman, you wouldn’t be out here fucking other females, so chill, let’s do this, and then you can get home to her, way more relaxed, she said with a smirk on her face.

Aye bitch, watch ya’ mouth before I have ya’ tongue removed. You don’t know nothin’ about me and my lady, so don’t you ever mention her name again.

All this time I realized I was in the car with this bitch and didn’t even know her name.

Man, go ahead and get out my car, I said unlocking the door.

I ain’t goin’ nowhere. I came to get some dick, and that's what I’ma get, she said, reaching back over.

Hoe, you ain’t getting’ shit from me. You better pull out that phone and call up another nigga. But while you do that, go ahead and get your ass out my car.

Nah, I’m getting some dick from you, because if you don’t, I’ll make it my business to tell your girl we fucked anyways.  I mean, if I’m not mistaken, she works at Saint Mary Hospital, right? In the call center part, taking calls about people’s insurance.

Before I knew it, my temper got the best of me. It was one thing for a bitch to talk shit to me, but I would never let a bitch slide on talking about Harmony or thinking that they were going to step to her.

I grabbed the girl by her throat. I wish you would tell my girl anything. I will break your fucking neck. Get your hoein’ ass out my fuckin’ car before I break your fucking face, I said to her. I expected shorty to be scared, but there was a look of anger all over her face.

You put your fucking hands on the wrong bitch. I'ma tell my brother Benny, and he gon’ kick yo’ ass. Money doesn’t make you untouchable, nigga.

Bitch, shut the fuck up and get out my damn car. Money is the only reason ya’ ass in my face right now, you broke bitch, and while you’re telling your brother, make sure you tell him you're a hoe too and can’t give head, I said as I reached around her and opened the car door.

She got out the car and stood in my car doorway and said, Fuck you, my brother gon’ fuck you up when he catches you.

Please, my name is Trae; I ain’t runnin’. Tell him to come to see me, I said as I took my gun out and sat it on my lap. Shorty slammed my car door closed, and I pulled off.

As I rode home, all I could think about was why I kept messing with