Stoke the Fire: A Battle Plan for Parents to Save the Next Generation

By Darlene LoVell Kinchen

Hell’s strategy for destroying humanity is to sabotage the generations. Using sound Biblical principles, author Darlene L. Kinchen provides insight to recognizing satan’s tactics in various areas of life to destroy our children, reveals a plan for thwarting these tactics, and offers a plan for self-healing for parents and guardians.<

• Language: English
• Publisher: Author Academy Elite
• Release date: Dec 2, 2017
• ISBN: 9781640850903

Book preview

Stoke the Fire

A Battle Plan for Parents to Save the Next Generation

Darlene LoVell Kinchen

Endorsements

Get ready for a wake-up call. It’s time to rise up and rescue our children from the clutches of the enemy. Author Darlene L. Kinchen strips away the blinders and forces us to confront the real war before us. Thankfully, she also equips us with a battle plan to stay victorious for generations to come.

Kary Oberbrunner

Author of ELIXIR Project, Day Job to Dream Job,

The Deeper Path, and Your Secret Name

Praemonitus praemunitus, or forewarned is forearmed. Stoke the Fire is the watchman’s clarion call. The alarm sounds. Not that we did not know something was wrong, we just didn’t know how wrong. Three facets of the call of the watchman are expressed clearly, boldly, and scripturally in this book.

First, the alarm is sounded alerting us to the current methodology and tactics of our adversary and the real dangers that are at hand. Second, it makes the sound to come to arms—this call is one that speaks to preparedness, meaning that we must equip ourselves to respond to the adversary. Hence, this book not only furnishes us with tools to respond to the attacks, but it also gives us the implements to proactively assault the adversary that confronts us. Third, it makes the sound of the war cry, and in doing so, it marshals us to adorn ourselves in the armor of God and assault the very gates of Hell that once held us captive.

Finally, I must say that Stoke the Fire is not simply a must-read book, but as strongly as I can state it, this is a must-do book.

Rev. Charles H. Cession

Vice President of P.A.D.S.

Winston-Salem, NC

I am so moved by your holy desire to see parents get it right. You don’t just put forth ideals, but you break it down in digestible and practical ways that even the most unaware parents can receive. You speak truth, but you saturate this truth with the love of a mama’s heart. It’s just beautiful. Your writing style is strong and persuasive, yet tender. I am grateful for you!

Dr. Debbie Lanier

Co-Pastor Hope Community Church

Winston-Salem, NC

There is a dire need today for absolute truth. Culture and chaos seek to move the lines, comforting and confusing. Stoke the Fire methodically cautions each of us in the body of Christ to guide and guard our seed. The seed determines the harvest! God’s desire is to bless generationally! We build His kingdom together as we pursue Him wholly and model His word for the generations!

Pastor Christi Hairston

Kingdom Education

Hope Community Church

Winston-Salem, NC

All opinions and statements are the creation of the author and are protected by national and international laws regarding intellectual property.

Copyright © 2017 by Darlene Kinchen

All rights reserved.

Printed in the United States of America.

Published by Author Academy Elite

P.O. Box 43, Powell, OH, 43065

www.AuthorAcademyElite.com

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

Unless otherwise identified, Scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version Bible which is public domain.

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from The Holy Bible, New King James Version, Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked AMP are taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation, La Habra, CA 90631. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified Bible, Classic Edition (AMPC), Copyright © 1954, 1958,1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. www.Lockman.org. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked CEV are taken from the Contemporary English Version, Copyright © 1995 by American Bible Society. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked TLB are taken from The Living Bible, Copyright © 1971 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois, 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked The Message are taken from The Message, Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation Copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois, 60188.

All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NLV are taken from the Holy Bible, New Life Version, Copyright © 1969 by Christian Literature International. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked HCSB have been taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003, 2009 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Holman Christian Standard Bible®, Holman CSB®, and HCSB® are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked NCV have been taken from the New Century Version®. Copyright © 2005 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017911595

Author Academy Elite, Powell, OH

Softcover: 978-1-64085-088-0

Hardcover: 978-1-64085-089-7

E-Book: 978-1-64085-090-3

Available in hardcover, softcover, e-book, and audiobook.

Dedication

I dedicate this book to...

...my beloved son, Michael. When I accepted this assignment from the Lord, neither you nor I knew what lay in store. Abraham has nothing on me, for you became the sacrifice, but I trust God for full restoration. I cannot lose you on the way to save other children. For your strength, love, respect, and encouragement, I am eternally grateful. I know that for a while, it looked as though neither of us would make it—but we did! We both learned a lot through this process, and I know that we are both better and stronger for it. I know that I have grown through this, and I do believe that you will be a better parent for it in the future. I appreciate you, value you, and love you more than a lifetime will allow me to express.

...all of the children of every age who have ever been abused or felt unloved, unappreciated, or lost. To those who have fallen through the cracks because no one valued you or your destiny enough, I want to say that I love you and value you.

For thus hath the Lord said unto me. Go, set a watchman,

let him declare what he seeth.

—Isaiah 21:6

Contents

Endorsements

Foreword

Author’s Note

Acknowledgements

Preface

Introduction

Part I: Setting the Stage

Chapter 1: Code Blue

Challenges of Staying Saved and On Fire for the Lord

Chapter 2: Stoke the Fire

The Birth of This Book—God’s Instructions

Part II: Parental Roles

Chapter 3: Winged Hearts

The Godly Roles of Parenthood

Part III: Focus

Chapter 4: Majors and Minors

Setting a Godly Standard for Our Children

Part IV: Safe Spaces and Relationships

Chapter 5: Who’s Minding Your Children?

Be Aware of Who Speaks into Your Children

Part V: Landmines and Blind Spots

Chapter 6: Parents—Pay Attention

Relationships, Activities, Attitudes, Red Flags

Part VI: Generational Curses

Chapter 7: Like Father and Like Mother

Acknowledging Generational Curses and Parental Habits Passed on to the Generations

Part VII: Personal Battle Plan

Chapter 8: Parents—Front and Center

Assessment and Accountability

Chapter 9: Get the Poker

Preparation for Change

Chapter 10: Stoking the Fire

Implementation

Epilogue

Endnotes

About the Author

Foreword

Oh wow, Darlene and I have only met via face book, but I know that we are kindred spirits. She, like me, knows that we have an adversary who is intent on devouring our kids. In this book, Darlene shares solid biblical truths that will guide your warrior path on the battlefield of parenting.

She is not an expert on the subject because she has read a lot of books. Darlene is a veteran in battle because she’s won a lot of battles. And as a decorated spiritual war hero, she has insight that will benefit you and possibly allow you to experience even greater victories.

Armor yourself up! Surround yourself with praying partners, and keep up the good fight! We serve the Master and Commander who has already won this war. Let us lay claim to His victory and stand in the gap for the next generation as we pray them to victory so that they can do the same for the generation after theirs.

Leighann McCoy

Author of Spiritual Warfare for Your Family

(Bethany House, 2016)

Author’s Note

Please note that, except for direct Scripture quotations, this author capitalizes all pronouns that refer to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Also, take note that, with the exception of the beginning of sentences, the name of satan and related names as well as idol gods are not capitalized, as the author refuses to acknowledge them with that level of respect regardless of grammatical rules.

Acknowledgements

My deepest appreciation to...

...God, for being mine and allowing me to be His, loving me, and allowing me to do this assignment. You could have chosen anyone else, but You chose me.

...Rev. Charles H. Cession, for your encouragement and belief in me when I found it hard to believe in myself, and for believing in this project when I wearied and began to doubt it.

...the interviewees, for your courage to open up and share your experiences for the good of the children.

And there appeared another wonder in heaven; and behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads. And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth: and the dragon stood before the woman which was ready to be delivered, for to devour her child as soon as it was born.

—Revelation 12:3–4

Preface

Parents, as you embark on this journey, be forewarned that relationships with your family—especially your children—and your peace may undergo serious attack from the beginning. I offer this warning so that you are not taken by surprise, as I was.

When the Holy Spirit birthed this book into my spirit, I had no idea what was ahead. At first, there were no real problems because I was just musing over the idea. But once I began to put words on paper and share bits and pieces of this book with my son and my best friend, all Hell broke loose in my home.

It took a while for me to realize what was going on because it was so cleverly disguised. But then I saw it. As I began to reflect on the chaos—when it began and how quickly it escalated—I was able to see a correlation between what I was discovering in the Scriptures and the ploys of the enemy. Then I realized that I must really have satan by the tail and the last thing that he wanted was 1) for me to understand the power that lies within these pages, and 2) for anyone else to understand and be empowered to snatch their children back from the clutches of his vice grip.

When we save our children, we save our families, communities, cities, states, and nations for generations to come. When we successfully launch this generation, we empower an army of spiritual warriors, more mighty than this world has ever seen. The stakes could not be higher. If we fail, the result will be spiritual infertility, which is what satan desires. He is trying to prevent birth, be it physical or spiritual.

We must realize that satan will not take this sitting down. I am forewarning you so that you will not be ignorant to his attacks and you will be able to stand.

Gird up the loins of your mind and remember that your struggle is not against flesh and blood. Ephesians 6:12 (NKJV) says,

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

With this in mind, do not be surprised at anything you see, hear, think, or even say. On some occasions, I found myself feeling like a hypocrite. There were times when I questioned how I could possibly write this book because it appeared that every one of its premises was failing. It seemed that the more I studied and wrote, the worse things got between my son and me. I quit this assignment more times than I can count.

Then God showed me two unforgettable things. First, that I was not writing the book; rather I was being used by Him as the instrument He had chosen this time (next time, it might be you). Second, that just like His Word in the Holy Scriptures is tested, this was being tested and I was being challenged by satan to cave in and quit.

With this new insight, I cleaned and bandaged my wounds, hugged my son, and resolved to finish the task while keeping my focus on the Lord Jesus Christ and my consciousness keen and alert to satan’s tactics. I highly recommend that you do the same, or the enemy will have you thinking you are losing your mind.

It is very likely that you will encounter some things while reading this book that will make no sense to you at first, but keep reading. Likewise, you may read some things that offend you at first, but keep reading. The enemy will gladly supply you with innumerable arguments to dismiss what you are reading, but just keep reading. You must be open to the Holy Spirit and allow Him to minister to you and bring understanding and direction.

This journey is not for the fainthearted. It is also not one that I would recommend you stop in midstream, or you may end up in a worse condition than you were in at the beginning.

When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished. Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation.

—Matthew 12:43–45

Stoke the Fire delves into six key areas for empowering our children. If you stick with it, this book will:

Reveal the true role of the parent

Help you focus your children by identifying obstructions and deceptions

Equip you to create safe spaces and foster safe relationships for your children

Help you identify landmines that are waiting to ensnare and derail your children

Uncover generational curses that may destroy you and future generations

Help you create your personalized battle plan so that both you and your children are better equipped for Kingdom living

Are you ready to begin? Let’s get started by praying this prayer.

Loving Father in Heaven, I come to You in the name of Jesus, washed in His Blood and clothed in Your righteousness. I come seeking Your wisdom, strength, and the power of the Holy Spirit to walk out this journey and become the parent You ordained me to be.

I commit my mind to You, Holy Spirit, so I have the mind of Christ. I declare and decree that the Blood of Jesus covers my mind; Your peace, Father, guards my mind; and Your Word renews my mind. I gird up the loins of my mind and I cast down every wicked thought and evil imagination that would exalt itself against the knowledge of Who You are, Your Word, who I am in Christ Jesus, and what You have ordained for my life and the lives of my children.

Father, I ask You to open my mind and my heart to learn and receive what You have for me in these pages. Holy Spirit, I ask You to teach me what I need to learn from them.

Father, I commit my family and myself to You and Your divine order. In the name of Jesus, I bind the spirits of confusion and pride. I loose Your sweet peace to inhabit my home and surround me and my family.

I plead the Blood of Jesus over and around us, between us and all evil, and between us and the author of evil.

I submit to You and resist the devil, and according to Your Word, he has to flee from me. I draw near to You, and I believe Your promise that You draw near to me. Keep my family and me in the sanctity and security of Your Holy Presence and Your Word. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

Introduction

I am convinced that parenting is one of the most awesome and challenging tasks known to mankind, for in it hangs the balance of our nation...our world.

How we live, act, react, and communicate today has much to do with how we were raised. There have been countless discussions about which is more influential in our lives: genetics or the environment in which we grew up. I will not attempt to continue that debate here. Suffice it to say that, while both are very strong forces that shape us, our parents can enable us to rise above, fall in line with, or fall beneath both genetics and our environment.

I know this because, though I was raised in an impoverished environment, it never permeated my soul. I never thought we were poor because, as far as I knew, we always had enough, and my siblings and