Bipolar Express: From One Mind to Another

By Mulpurinni Doris Kartinyeri

I am enthusiastic about telling my story all about my illness – bipolar mood swing disorder. I write with restlessness and with recklessness, sometimes with energy so strong, along with energy incredibly low. With the effect of this illness comes the need to rebuild myself and my self-esteem, and finally to come to terms with the illness i

• Language: English
• Publisher: Debbie Lee
• Release date: May 9, 2017
• ISBN: 9781760413446

Book preview

My journey begins

I need to help you begin your journey with me. So I will start by explaining the concept of this book in relation to my imagination. I am an Indigenous woman connected to my land spiritually and I have a spiritual connection to the polar bear for some unknown reason. To me the polar bear has a pure essence and my creativity is stimulated by this thought. My Indigenous spirit, me and the polar bear combine to represent who I am. The concept of the wonderful title of this book that emerged at the time of my initial diagnosis reflects the way I think with my mood swings.

Did I hear right?

I entered the doctor’s surgery. I had become unwell and snowed under once again at my daughter’s place in Murray Bridge, apparently picking weeds like they were flowers and walking around in circles chanting. My movements, my thoughts, are dormant as I enter the surgery. I was aware of my surroundings as I sat motionless with my eldest daughter Jennadene while we sat quietly together in the waiting room.

‘The doctor’s ready, Mum,’ she said softly to me.

Very little was said between us. I just sat waiting like a child. My daughter and the doctor were discussing my illness. I overheard them as I walked towards the exit door to leave. I turned quickly to respond to what was being said between my daughter and the doctor,

On hearing the word bipolar, and speaking out loud and clear with a loud chuckle, I said, ‘What, all the way from Poland!’ and I gave the doctor a bear hug of reassurance.

I saw the funny side as the session with the doctor came to an end. I knew I was unwell. This was real to me. I really did think this illness actally came from Poland.

It is difficult to timeline my illness, as in some parts of the year I am functioning well and in the other parts I am manic and delusional or depressed and I easily lose track of where and when. So my recollection is not good as I have no idea where I am and when. Sometimes I am here or in the past or future, when I see people and places I have actually not seen or been to.

An early episode

Tanya my youngest daughter was aged between twelve and thirteen. She was aware of my illness and was a strong young girl who witnessed this incident and showed great courage when I had a manic attack.

I had lived in Murray Bridge for thirteen years. It was a rainy wet evening. My obsession began with drinking water, a lot of water, constantly, and I was listening to classical music. It was loud and I sang all day, flitting around the house. I just seemed to run through the house, from one room to another, like in my mind! And then out to the front yard and then the backyard. My children watched in disbelief.

‘What the hell is up with Mum?’ my son asked his sister.

This episode was a frightening thing to be witnessed by everyone. My family were confused and helpless and kept asking what was wrong. I ran into the lounge room where all the children and my nephews and friends were. The fire was roaring and I picked up a huge tree stump and held it above my head like King Kong! God knows what I was going to do with it.

My kids just stood in awe of it all while my nephew, who was lying beneath me, called out to me, ‘Aunty Doris, what are you doing?’

I looked at him and put down the tree stump and took off.

By then, Jennadene had called my closest friend Margaret, who is like a sister to me. We had grown up together in Colebrook Home. As I ran around the house opening and shutting doors, Jennadene, John and Margaret were looking for me. I was like an escaped bird, fluttering endlessly around the house with my family trying to catch me and subdue me.

Margaret rang for the ambulance. I needed medical attention as my behaviour was not manageable at home. I was so unwell. I hid in my bedroom and ending up climbing out the window as Margaret and Jennadene watched my barefoot chinna disappear behind the house. I was running barefoot through the rain towards the waiting ambulance in my nightwear.

The ambulance officer was all official and thinking of strategies to corner and restrain me with the least amount of stress. By that time, I had tricked him in to thinking I had ran out the back door. Ahah! But I had gone through the front window and headed to the ambulance, climbed inside and made myself comfortable on the stretcher. I crossed my arms over my chest and closed my eyes as if I was