Alice Returns Through The Looking-Glass: A Musical Vaudeville Stage Play

By Zizzi Bonah

THIS STAGE PLAY IS ADAPTED FROM ZIZZI'S ORIGINAL NOVEL –  "For children of all ages" – A story where every goodbye isn't gone and every eye closed isn't sleep, Alice must find the answer to the Looking-glass question; much to the rage of infa

• Language: English
• Publisher: She And The Cat's Mother
• Release date: Apr 20, 2017
• ISBN: 9780995747951

Zizzi Bonah

Zizzi Bonah is a 5ft 3" lass born of Yorkshire parents. She spent seven dedicated years; three busking her self-penned songs on Bridlington, Scarborough and York streets, to then gigging pubs and clubs in and around the North of England, gaining airplay on BBC Radio York and Humberside using her birth name, Ida Barker. A change is as good as a reply, (a line taken from one of Ida's eclectic-electric songs). With this in mind, she chose a new direction - to become a fiction author and create a new writing genre called Phem Phant Noir. In memory to her late grandparents, Ida and Tommy Hullah, who farmed in Nidderdale, the author's nom de plume - merging Bona and Hullah into Bonah.

Book preview

Who's Who in Alice Returns

Alice: A resplendent author who lives in Authorland, she returns through the Looking–glass and falls into her own story; all at the cost of seeking the answer to the Looking–glass question while singing the song: It’s Only Polony.

Miss Penopause: She is the alter–ego and writing inspiration of Alice, who lives on the other side of the Looking–glass. Miss Penopause doesn’t find it easy to string a sentence together, and forcefully inks disagreeable words into her memorandum book, but they often wriggle free, leaving Miss Penopause with many unruly paragraphs. Sings the song (reprise): It’s Only Polony.

Paige Turner: A frightful book reviewer with outrageous appetite for devouring authors’ words. She sends Alice a Note–a–Rioty, threatening character assassination against Miss Penopause, by–way–of publishing a damning book review against Alice’s debut novel.

Gramma: A rather rude fairy when first encountered by Alice and Miss Penopause, on account of her dislike for writers who overlook the rules of grammar, forcing her to grind a little more of her tooth enamel away. Upon sighting the Boobook Chick hatching from his shell, she sings the good–luck song: Sunshine In Your Shoes.

Plotimus and Themeibus: These two quarrelsome brothers refuse to agree who is the more important in any story — plot or theme — before singing Mr and Ms’ery in Alice and Miss Penopause’s company.

Scrolls: Parchment creatures who display the most perfect page of each author’s due–for–release book (written in Looking–glass words) across their parchment fronts; to be reviewed by Paige Turner. They sing in baritone voices the song: Tush Tush.

Dandelion Clocks: Eccentric vain, not plain plants with silver hair. Semi sopranos who sing the song: Monetary Girl.

Monumoose: A creative furzy furred creature, with handsome antlers and wings. He encourages Alice and Miss Penopause not to ride the Thesaurus too far through any story, otherwise you’ll simply wear him out! He sings the song: Telephone The Ocean in a tenor voice.

Column Inches: A ten foot tall journalist who sings a melancholy song to Paige Turner, called Exclamation Marks.

Validator: A different character of a difficult nature when provoked into dropping her Apple Pie manners, she is a trapper with frightening ways.

Conductor: Brusque character who admits sightseers aboard the Train–of–Thought; that travels the Word–sphere in an alphabetic blur.

Bookworm: A doleful doorkeeper who is partial to fluffing his words.

Whooie Bird: A majestic creature who glides along the Critical Path. He reveals through selective dialogue, how Alice and Miss Penopause should wit, not woo Paige Turner, to make her eat her own supercilious Note–a–Rioty.

The Scarers: Woodland creatures with the appearance of scarefoes, they defend the book reviewers livelihoods in Word–sphere by talking pettifoggery nonsense.

Administers: They hose–pipe parchment Scrolls with word flattery.

Carrier Pigeons: Restless cooing, booing, hooing birds who await delivering Note–a–Rioties issued by Paige Turner on Recommence Day.

Frog Footman: A betassled aide–de–camp to Paige Turner, who leaps into action with Read–It Wine.

Boobook Chick: The embodiment of a story, only hatching from shell if its author nurtures it well with creative care and fruitful ideas.

Apostroflies: Vengeful winged insects who deposit their waste onto any writer who misplaces apostrophes.

SCENE 1: ALICE’S DRAWING–ROOM

(In the middle of a hurry, ALICE enters drawing–room. She is a grown–up, with darkened hair, wearing bold colours. She halts in front of the large Looking–glass hung above the fireplace.)

ALICE: (with celerity into the Looking–glass) Do you know what this is?

(ALICE waves an envelope. Peers around the throw–back image of herself, searching for her other–self; who–goes–by–the–name–of, MISS PENOPAUSE.)

ALICE: Oh, I really do wish you wouldn’t leave the Looking–glass room as soon as I enter my dear. It is a most bothersome habit you have acquired. Though I will not be deterred, for I am quite sure you can hear me if I raise my voice.

(ALICE gazes at the envelope in her hand and reads aloud.)

ALICE: It is addressed to me, Alice In Authorland. And the stamp mark reads, Word–sphere. Word–sphere ... That’s where the notorious book reviewer, Paige Turner resides.

(ALICE thumbs the envelope seal open with delicious delight.)

ALICE: I must tell, Miss Penopause, an envelope such as this contains one of two things. It is either a darling Letter–of–Recommendation, or a damning Note–a–Rioty against my debut novel.

(ALICE unfolds piece of paper. Bewilderment turns into revelation.)

ALICE: Why, it is typed on Looking–glass paper, of course! And if I hold it up to the glass, the words on the paper will all read the right way around!

(ALICE holds piece of paper up to the Looking–glass — they are Looking–glass words — instantly the words that were unreadable, become readable. Backcloth or projection screen show the written words, bearing signature of PAIGE TURNER. ALICE reads aloud the verse with rhythmic tones.)

ALICE

Note—a—Rioty!

Author arise to the reviewer Paige Turner,

Miss Penopause is unworthy to live,

Let us character jinx all writers with muses,

The reviewers from Word—sphere alone will survive.

Author arise and support the capital rules,

The oceans of rhyme will end words on ice,

Alice will receive excessive punctuation,

The success of a writer awaits the review.

(ALICE lowers the Note–a–Rioty from the Looking–glass as though holding a Verity Vermin creature by its tail.)

ALICE: (ostentatiously) Riotous! I find it impossible to find another word to supersede it, but I will ... I must ask myself the Looking–glass question, and it is this:— Can I write without my muse, my inspiration, Miss Penopause? For this Note–a–Rioty states a character assassination on her. And without her, I may never have the luxury of writing creatively again!

(ALICE leans close to the Looking–glass.)

ALICE: (cries out) Miss Penopause ... Oh, Miss Penopause, you are my fair–haired writing muse. Knowing you cannot write due to an affliction of pausing too long, is what enables me to write without pause ...

(The Looking–glass starts to cloud–over.)

ALICE: Though I have never met you, Miss Penopause, I am strictly aware of you throughout my writing ... in fact, I might even go as far to say the Looking–glass is the divide between myself, the author, and you, the story! (thoughtfully) And the more I think about things, the more I am quite certain ... yes ... through the Looking–glass is where stories and characters live. I know this to be true as I have a vivid memory of entering that place as a