RUNNING FROM THE PAST

By CLINTON TYESHIA

SAMANTHA'S life could be different but all of her role models are prostitutes, drug dealers, gang-bangers, and drug addicts. She does not look up to anyone but her mother, ANGEL, and her aunts are her first teachers. All of them are drug addicted prostitutes. Their professions disgust Samantha but she finds herself turning a trick when her mother s

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ashanti Publishing Group
• Release date: Dec 25, 2014
• ISBN: 9780990983033

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Running From The Past

Searching For Peace

TYESHIA CLINTON

ASHANTI PUBLISHING GROUP

ATLANTA, GEORGIA

Copyright © 2014 by Tyeshia Clinton.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed Attention: Permissions Coordinator, at the address below.

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Publisher’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locales is completely coincidental.

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RUNNING FROM THE PAST/ TYESHIA CLINTON. -- 1st ed.

ISBN 978-0-9909830-3-3

Dedication to Someone

I’d like to dedicate this novel to my mother, Easter Mae Williams. RIP Mommy, I know you’re smiling down from Heaven at me. If it had not been for you, I would not be the woman I am today, and I thank you for the way you raised me. You taught me how to love myself and how to love others. You let me know at a very young age that I am able to achieve any goal I set for myself. Mommy, you’re the reason I try so hard to reach my goals! I want you to continue to be proud of me, even while you are in Heaven. I’m going to keep your memory alive by any means necessary. I still have work to do down here, but we’ll meet again when I walk through those pearly white gates. I’m looking forward to getting one of those hugs from you that I miss so much.

To my biological father, June: I still miss you too! I love you and I hope you’re taking care of Mommy while she’s up there with you. RIP. I’m still keeping your memory alive too.

To Dad, the man who raised me: I love you and I thank you for everything. I know Mommy’s death devastated you, so I thank you for continuing to go on and for being strong for us.

To my daughters Amber and Paris: I love y’all with my entire heart. I thank the good Lord daily for blessing me with you two. I’m trying my best to make a good life for you girls and I hope y’all appreciate my effort.

To my siblings, I love all of you guys and I thank God, Mommy and our two fathers for creating y’all. I don’t know how I could have made it through Mommy’s death without all of you guys.

I’d like to thank my significant other for his help too. I wouldn’t have been able to do any of this if it wasn’t for you. I know there is no other man for me and I thank God for blessing me with a man who loves me the way that you do.

Last but definitely not least, I would like to thank Jesus Christ for giving me the strength, motivation and inspiration to write this book.

(To the victims of the streets and the fallen street angels, y’all didn’t die in vain. I wanted to name the ones I know, but unfortunately there were too many of you to name.)

Chapter One

What Goes Around Comes Around 7/21/97

It took Samantha all day to get rid of the half ounce of crack she was selling for her cousin, Marissa. It usually did not take that long, but it was the middle of the month and she was competing with a porch full of people who had the same crack cocaine she was selling. They all lived in the Harold Ickes projects, and everyone who hustled in the Ickes copped all of their drugs from the same person. Samantha hated selling drugs in the Ickes, bum rushing everyone who came to shop, but she had to do what she had to do. Every time a customer came, she would run as fast as she could, sticking out her hand full of rocks, right along with everyone else. If her mother, Angel, hadn’t stolen the school supplies and clothes her boyfriend, Marco, bought her for school, she would not have been on the porch. School started August 11th, and Samantha had to be fly for her freshman year. She had four cousins and fifteen female friends who were all going to be entering Phillips High School with her. She wanted to be the best-dressed person enrolled at Phillips. 

Samantha did not tell Marco about Angel stealing the clothes he bought for her because he would have beaten her up. Marco told Samantha to put a lock on her door when they first started dating three years ago, but she didn’t until she discovered her missing things. Samantha confronted Angel about her missing possessions, but Angel denied stealing Samantha’s stuff the way she always did. Samantha was so afraid of Marco finding out that she tricked off with Bob, the thirty-seven year old region of the Gangster Disciples in the Ickes. She tricked off with him the same night she discovered her things were missing, without thinking of the repercussions.

Most of Samantha’s friends had been sleeping with Bob for money for years. They told her that he paid them $500 every time they slept with him, but he only paid Samantha $200. She eventually found out that he paid every girl $200; he just made them say he’d paid them $500 to lure their underage friends to him. A lot of them decided the $200 was worth it, so they continued to sleep with him. The only people who knew Bob was sleeping with underage girls were the underage girls, and they were too embarrassed to tell anyone besides their friends. The $200 Bob gave Samantha replaced her school supplies and one outfit, while killing a part of her soul. Samantha’s mother and aunts were prostitutes, and Samantha always looked down on them for their profession. Samantha was sick to her stomach and felt very unclean after turning her first trick.

Angel had been buying Samantha an eight ball of crack to sell on the first of every month since Samantha was twelve. Therefore, Samantha knew how to sell drugs. She just didn’t like to. She definitely did not like working for other people, but it was better than having to trick off, in her opinion. When Samantha started working for Marissa, she lied and told Marco she was selling drugs to help get her little brothers ready for school. He believed her because Samantha always helped her mother take care of her two little brothers. After Angel played her, she did not care how her brothers were going to get their school stuff because she was done taking on her mother’s responsibilities.

Marissa lived in 2240, the building Samantha was working out of. After she was done selling Marissa’s crack, she silently prayed her cousin was in her apartment as she rode up the urine-soaked elevator to turn in the daily profits. When she knocked on the door, no one answered, to her despair. There was no telling where Marissa was. Her five-year-old and four-year-old daughters had been at the playground all day. Marissa checked on them on and off, but they still didn’t know where their mother was when Samantha asked them. Samantha asked everyone she sees if they know where Marissa is as she walked down the lanes, but no one did. She had to check Marissa’s mom, Jamika’s, house in 2330. She hated going in there, but she had no choice.

When Samantha knocked on Jamika's door, her eleven year old cousin Maleka let her in. A whiff of crack smoke hit Samantha in the face as soon as she walked in, but Maleka’s words hit her harder. Angel and Marco was in the back last week, she said with a smile on her face. Maleka had been holding in the secret all week, and it felt good to finally get it out. Before her paternal grandmother died in the heat wave of 1995, Samantha kept Maleka with her and tried to teach Maleka how to be a good Christian. She taught her not to gossip, but if something affected someone she loved, Maleka would always tell them. She tried to be a good Christian and love everyone, but she never liked Marco. She always saw him beating up Samantha. Even though she hated hurting her cousin, she hoped she would finally leave the boy alone.

Samantha felt like the wind was knocked out of her and she was extremely hurt. Maleka was only eleven, but she knew what she was implying when she said Marco and Angel had been in the back. All of the Wright children knew that coming from the back of Jamika’s apartment meant one of their mothers, aunts, or mother's friends had performed some kind of sexual favor for anyone willing to pay them with money or drugs for their services. Jamika had a twin size mattress on the dining room floor for her son to sleep on, and a bunk bed in the living room for her four youngest daughters. There was a 37’ inch color television on top of four crates that were stacked on top of each other, sitting side by side. The kids had to eat and wash up in the kitchen, and Jamika had a blanket in the doorway to divide the kitchen from the dining room for their privacy. She had another blanket hung up to divide the front of the apartment from the back of the apartment. The bathroom was in the back, and the kids were only allowed to use it if they had to use the toilet. The four bedrooms in the back were supposed to be for the children, but they were off limits to them because they were needed to service clients.

Samantha was hurt, and she wanted to wipe the smug look and smile off of Maleka’s face. She walked up to her, bent down and whispered into her ear, Yo lil’ lying ass just mad because Jamika let Mack and his white friends take you back there. Mack was Jamika’s ex-boyfriend, and thanks to their family friend, Toni, he was dead. Maleka didn’t know any of the other kids knew what Mack and his friends did to her because it had happened well over a year ago and no one had teased her about it. The words stung just as badly as Samantha hoped they would, and Maleka started crying and shaking instantly. Samantha was happy that she transferred some of her bad feelings to her little cousin. She straightened up and stormed out to find Marco or Angel. One of them was going to give her an explanation.

The pain Samantha was feeling briefly turned to anger when she bumped into Bob hustling on the front porch. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she forgot it was region day. On region day, Bob was allowed to sell his drugs, by himself, on any porch he wanted to work on. If she had been thinking, she would have left out the back just like she crept in. Bob always chose to work on the porch of 2330 because Jamika’s apartment supplied him with a lot of customers.

When yo lil’ fine ass gon’ give me some mo’ of that wet wet? On the boss, I’ll give you $500 and I’ll pay you up front, Bob said as he pounded his right fist on top of his left one.

Damn, I keep tellin’ yo ass I don’t want to fuck you no more. You know who my man is, so you know my type, and you damn sho ain’t it, Samantha replied, a little too sharply. Bob was known for slapping females who disrespected him, so Samantha always tried to watch her tongue. She was just so angry and tired of him constantly trying to get her back into his bed. 

You lucky you a S.O.S. sister and folks is yo man or I would take that shit. Folks in the parking lot tell him I said you welcomed again! he yelled after Samantha with an exaggerated laugh. Bob’s feelings always got hurt when one of the girls he paid to sleep with him would not repeat the act. It hurt even more when Samantha turned him down. She was one of the prettiest girls he slept with and her vagina was real tight, but he’d always known how Samantha felt about him. He was real sneaky and he use to hide in all types of nooks and crannies in the Ickes. Bob saw and heard all kinds of things while creeping around. He knew Samantha and her friends made fun of him all the time. They called him Monkey Man behind his back. They even drew a huge picture of him as a monkey wearing a blue jogging suit with a pair of Jordans on in one of the hallways. Bob was a short, stocky region of the Gangster Disciple organization, and he liked to be comfortable. His entire wardrobe consisted of blue and black jogging suits, since the gang’s colors were blue and black. He wasn’t flashy, so he kept his money and power well hidden. His name rang throughout the streets of Chicago, but he stayed out of the spotlight. The only people who really knew what he looked like were the people in the Ickes, since they had known him since birth. They built him up in his face because of his title, but behind his back, he got talked about like he’d always been talked about. That was why he stayed, slapping the females and giving out mouth shots to the men.

Samantha hated that it was so hot outside because the parking lot was filled with cars and people. They were out there selling barbeque, ice cones, candy, chips, clothes, loose cigarettes, household items, and anything else you could think of. She avoided everyone and made a beeline for Marco’s 1994 silver E320 Mercedes Benz. He was parked facing 24th street, so she reached the driver’s side first. Samantha normally loved bending over to talk to Marco through his window because it made all of the women who wanted him jealous. On this day, she didn’t want anyone hearing anything she had to say. She ignored him when he let the heavily tinted window down, and walked to the other side. As soon as he popped the locks, she got in and cut off his radio.

What was you doing up Jamika’s house? she asked him.

What was you doing up Belinda’s house about two weeks ago? Marco responded.

Samantha knew he had to have known about her and Bob as soon as he asked about Belinda’s house. That was where they had sex at. She did not get a chance to answer Marco’s question though. Unbeknownst to her, Bob was following her, and he ended up knocking on Marco’s window before she could think of anything to say. Bob put it on the boss that he wasn’t going to tell anyone she tricked off with him, so the thought of him telling Marco never crossed her mind. Bob was a region, so Samantha just knew he would never lie on the boss. It was obvious he’d told Marco when he climbed in the back seat.

Folks she was just asking me what I been doing up Jamika’s house, Marco said with a laugh as he started up the car.

That’s why I told you to tell him you welcomed. This nigga’s been thanking me all week for telling him we tricked off and how good yo mama gives head.

Samantha started crying hysterically because she was caught off guard, but her tears didn’t faze Marco. You tricked off with my uncle so I gave yo mama a blow and a empty promise so she could suck my dick. Oh, you surprised? Don’t worry, it’ll sink in while you going up, he said as he pulled up to 2450, the building Samantha lived in. A lot of people did not know fifteen year old Marco was Bob’s nephew on his father’s side, and Bob wanted to keep like that. They looked nothing alike. Marco had a head full of good hair he kept French braided down his back, his face looked like Usher’s, and he was tall with a nice physique. Bob was short, dark, and very muscular, with a muscle-bound face, a very big nose, and big lips. They also had totally different personalities. Marco dressed in expensive urban clothes, wore flashy jewelry, and drove expensive cars. He was loud and loved making a scene. Samantha didn’t realize how much of a jerk Marco was until he continued talking.

Oh yeah, Angel told me you tricked off with Bob G cause somebody stole the shit I bought you. I lied and told her I would get you some more. You can tell her hype-ass I said thanks for the free, bomb-ass head. It was worth that lil’ shit. I paid my boosters for that other shit, he said as he popped the locks and reached over her to open the door on the side Samantha was sitting on. 

Samantha climbed out without saying a word. She felt so stupid! She went to Marshall Fields to buy the one and only outfit she was able to afford after sleeping with Bob because she saw it in the display window. While she was in the store, she saw the exact same Tommy Hilfiger, Guess, Donna Karan, and Ralph Lauren Nautical outfits Marco bought for her. Samantha never thought they were stolen. When she thought about all the hustling she did to replace the outfits, she got even angrier.

This was the first time Samantha had not taken up for her mother when someone talked about her in front of her, and Samantha was happy she hadn’t. She was her mother’s only girl and Angel had taught her almost everything she knew, from how to take care of her body and house, to how to cook and bag up cocaine. Angel did not let Samantha sell heroin or marijuana because heroin was Angel’s drug of choice and weed was Samantha’s. The only reason Angel did not teach Samantha how to prostitute is because Samantha looked down on it. When she came in crying to her about the way Bob played her, Angel gave Samantha a lesson in that too. Angel told her to always get paid for whatever services Samantha planned on providing before doing anything, but she turned around and let Marco play her.

Angel and Samantha had a good relationship, but Samantha didn’t know if she could forgive her mother for this. Angel should have never stolen her stuff or touched her boyfriend, no matter what he’d promised her. If Angel was going to trick off with Marco, she should have at least followed her own rules. Samantha was embarrassed, angry and hurt by her mother’s and Marco’s actions. She hung out with a lot of low down girls who tried to sleep with Marco several times, but he never took their bait. Samantha would have felt better if he had slept with all of them as opposed to getting a blow-job from her mother. She was wrong for sleeping with Bob, but she did not know they were related and she did not do it out of spite like Marco did.

Marco would always have a special place in Samantha’s heart because they deflowered each other when he was twelve and she was eleven. She had known him since they were four years old attending the Henry Booth House-Gentry Day Care Center. They also took most of the same classes at Daniel Hale Williams Elementary school until he dropped out in the seventh grade. Their relationship became official after they had sex and, up until that very point, Samantha thought it was special. She never cheated on him before tricking off with Bob, but all Marco did was cheat on her and beat on her during the three years they were together. The tears stopped flowing down Samantha’s face as she realized how free she felt knowing it was over. She thought about all of the future house parties she could go to looking cute without Marco jumping on her and making her leave. None of those beatings felt half as bad as he’d just made her feel, so she knew their relationship was completely over.

The thought of facing her mother stopped Samantha from getting on the elevator when it finally made it to the first floor. Then she thought about the way she treated Maleka and knew she won’t be able to sleep if she didn’t make things right with her little cousin. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Marco driving towards the Dearborn Projects because she didn’t want to run back into him. She walked down the back lane to get to Maleka’s building just in case Bob was back on the front porch. He liked fronting people off and she did not want to be embarrassed in front of anyone. The local DJs had the music out, so it was packed outside.

Samantha forgot all about Marissa until she walked up to her doing the percolator dance. What’s up G? You finished with that work? Marissa asked when she reached her. She could tell Samantha had been crying when Samantha handed her the profits for the day. Who has pretty girl crying? Marissa asked. Marissa was real dark skinned and beautiful like her mother Jamika used to be. However, Jamika pushed the insecurities she had about her skin complexion off on her daughter so Marissa didn’t think she was pretty. Samantha was beautiful with her long, curly, red hair, Chinese shaped, light brown eyes, cute, little button nose, deep dimples, perfect teeth, full, pouty, pretty lips and butter colored skin, but so was Marissa. Marissa was 5’7 with an hourglass figure. Her skin was the color of beautiful, dark chocolate, her teeth were pretty and white, and her full lips stayed glossed up and pretty. She had big, dark brown, almond shaped eyes, with long pretty lashes connected to them. Her eyebrows stayed professionally arched, she kept her hair done up in buns, corn rolls, and ponytails, and she and her daughters wore the newest, nicest, name brand clothes and shoes that were out. Marissa had two daughters by a Puerto Rican to make sure they had light skin and good hair" so Jamika would be crazy about them, and she was. Her daughter’s father, Juan, lived on the Northside of Chicago and had plenty of good cocaine that he was willing to give to Marissa, but she kept him out of the Ickes and shopped from the connect everyone else shopped with to keep down drama. Marissa was one of the flyest females in the projects, which boosted her self-esteem, but it dissolved whenever she was around any light-skinned girls.

Marissa’s question caught Samantha off guard because she’d forgotten she had been crying. It’s nothing that I won’t get over, cousin, Samantha replied as she gave Marissa what she owed her and kept walking. She loved Marissa, but the whole family and some of Marisa’s friends would know Samantha’s business if she told Marissa what is going on. Samantha could tell Marissa didn’t already know what happened because she would have made some kind of obnoxious joke about Samantha’s situation. When it came to gossip, nothing was off limits to Marissa or most of the other residents who lived in the Ickes. They didn’t care how painful the experience was for the victim of the gossip, if it was juicy it was getting spread.

This was one of the reasons Samantha felt so bad for letting Maleka know she knew what happened to her. She knew Maleka was wondering who else knew that her mother sold her. Samantha felt Maleka was feeling this way because that’s how she felt about her mother and her boyfriend. Her encounter with her big mouth cousin Marissa put those feelings inside of her, even though Samantha knew Marissa didn’t know. However, Bob could have told several people. Samantha held her head down as she walked to Maleka’s building, trying to avoid eye contact with everyone. This was her first time being self-conscious in the Ickes, and she did not like the way she felt.

When Samantha made it to Maleka’s house, a drug addict she didn’t know let her in. Maleka was still standing in the same spot, shaking and crying. It was obvious people had been in and out since Samantha left, but none of them had cared enough to check on Maleka. Aww Star, I’m sorry, Samantha said as she bent down and hugged her little cousin. She walked Maleka to the bunk bed and sat her on her lap. I’m so sorry Star, she repeated.

Don’t call me Star no more, Maleka replied. She used to love her nickname. Her family made it up for her because Maleka was always singing and dancing. She had dreams of becoming a famous celebrity. Maleka lived in a brothel, but her grandmother taught her the power of prayer. She prayed, performed, and fantasized about a better life daily. Maleka used to dance through her hunger pangs and pretend like her rags were fancy costumes fit for the stage. Mack took away her light and her outlet when he raped her. He called her Star over and over again during the assault. The name repulsed her ever since. She put up with her family calling her Star after it happened and retreated far within herself to a place where the sexual abuse never happened. Samantha’s cruel words made her relive the rapes. They forced her to feel all the pain in the private places on her body, through her soul and in her mind. She felt dirty, humiliated and hurt thanks to Samantha, so she refused to let her big cousin continue to call her Star.

As soon as Maleka said not to call her Star, Samantha knew why. The thought of that ugly, filthy, pervert putting his hands on her sweet, beautiful, innocent cousin brought tears to Samantha’s eyes. If Toni had not already killed Mack, Samantha would have tried to because he took away Maleka’s love for performing. This was the first time Samantha noticed Maleka had not danced or sang since the rapes.

Instead of taking Maleka to the hospital to get the proper medical attention she needed, Jamika treated her with penicillin. Then she sent her to Dayton, Ohio with Jackie. Samantha knew Maleka had to wear maxi pads before she left and she was not talking. When Maleka came back talking and looking so pretty, clean, happy and healthy, Samantha was content. Maleka even came home with a brand new wardrobe and a lot of new toys. She could not go to school in Ohio, so she moved in with Marissa after the summer was over. Marissa sent her back with Jamika when school let out for the summer. Maleka was still happy until Samantha put those long-forgotten images in her head. When Samantha did, she saw the last bit of innocence disappear from Maleka’s eyes. Samantha knew she was the reason it disappeared, and Marco was not worth the pain she had inflicted upon her little cousin.

You right about Mama and Marco. I’m sorry for calling you a liar, I was just hurt, Samantha said as she held her little cousin tighter and rocked her.

That’s OK, I shouldn’t have been picking. Let’s go over y’all house. I don’t want to sleep here tonight, Maleka replied as she pulled away from Samantha and stood up. She handed Samantha a baby wipe and used one to wipe her own face. 

Samantha wiped her face, nodded, and started helping Maleka put some clothes in her book bag. Maleka followed Samantha to her building in silence because their troubled thoughts prevented them both from wanting to talk. Maleka was trying to forget the ugly words that were spoken to her and the pain soaring through her body. Samantha was trying to figure out what she was going to say to her mother when she saw her. By the time they made it to her building, Samantha had convinced herself that it was Angel’s fault she hurt Maleka. It felt good getting some guilt off of her