Underneath the Shadow: Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ

By Angela M Hawkins

The spiritual life we dream of can seem like a fantasy in comparison to the reality we
experience. We yearn for more of His Presence, yet at times feel completely disconnected.
Some Christians around us seem to truly enjoy radical friendship with God. What secret
have they found that transformed their life and paved the way for

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Aug 14, 2018
• ISBN: 9781640881167

Book preview

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Underneath the Shadow

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my loving Heavenly Father, who has never left me and who has blessed me with more goodness than I ever deserved. Without You, and your unquenchable Love, I would be the same lost little girl hiding in the bushes. You are my all in all, and my very best Friend. I will give my life to telling others of Your passionate love and inexhaustible goodness.

To my incredible husband and best friend, Joe. There are no words to express the love I have for you or the countless ways you have taught me of the Father’s love. You make Him proud with how you love so perfectly. There is a wealth of the knowledge of the Lord inside you and the world is richer because you are here. I wouldn’t want to be on this journey with any other person in the world. Thank you for all you have done to insist I write this book, and to cover my responsibilities while I’m hidden away writing.

To my loving children: Alicia, Kayla, Benjamin, Josiah, Adam, and Jessica. You have all been such a huge blessing to me in my life, and the love I have experienced by having each of you in my life makes me want to be a better person. Thank you for supporting your crazy mother and her dream to write. I love you all, Eternally!

Acknowledgements

My special thanks to my dear mother, Marie Hoskins, and to Chris Spicer for laboring with me in editing my manuscript. This would have been near impossible without you.

To my sweet sister, Amanda: Thank you so much for all your help in getting the manuscript where it needed to be, and in a flash!

Special thanks to Adam Moser and Brian Fenimore for pushing me to live this dream out to fruition. Your support and guidance was a huge blessing to me.

To Kayla for sacrificing so much of your time to help with all the household chores and errands during this process. You went above and beyond and your support means so much.

To TBN and Trilogy Publishing for believing in and running with this manuscript with such enthusiasm.

To Noah Norris (and team), you are an amazingly talented powerhouse and a dream to work with. I truly appreciate all your support and guidance.

Endorsements

This book is for those with an unquenchable desire for more of God. Angela Hawkins helps us find a place in the Spirit that she herself has discovered—a place she describes as organic friendship with God. You will find the chapter on keys to cultivating intimacy especially helpful. The invitation to the shadow of the Almighty is placed before you—will you accept?

–Bob Sorge, author of Secrets of the Secret

Place, bobsorge.com

Angela Hawkins shows us where to find and how to live the true Glory days... Underneath the Shadow. A glorious book that leaves the reader with a more glowing faith.

–Leonard Sweet, best-selling author, professor (Drew University, George Fox University), and chief contributor to sermons.com

No flight of fancy, this book is an adventure of faith which no true Christ follower can afford to miss.

–Chris Spicer, Author of No Perfect Fathers Here

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: The Quest for More 19

Chapter 2: Lord, Give Us Eyes to See 25

Chapter 3: Living Undercover 41

Chapter 4: The Three Deadly Ds 51

Chapter 5: Healing Our Image of God 77

Chapter 6: Healing Our Image of Self and Others 95

Chapter 7: Destined for the Shadow 113

Chapter 8: The Portrait of a Jealous Lover 119

Chapter 9: The Passion of Christ 129

Chapter 10: The Engaged Heart 141

Chapter 11: Keys to Cultivating Intimacy 145

Chapter 12: Love’s Holy Calling 157

Chapter 13: Love’s Sweet Fragance 165

Chapter 14: The Color of Glory 171

Epilogue 182

Appendix 183

Foreword

I’m convinced that the greatest crisis confronting the body of Christ in this hour is the lack of the revelation of the knowledge of God- a living, breathing, experiential knowledge of the Father and the Son through the Holy Spirit. God is answering this crisis by raising up shepherds after His heart who are feeding a generation on the understanding of Who He is and His passionate heart.

Angela Hawkins is one of these shepherds that God is raising up in the Earth. Her newest book, Underneath the Shadow lays out with such clarity, the call to go deeper, the call to change our views of God, and the call to break our agreement with the lies that distort our image of Him.

I wholeheartedly endorse the author and this book, and pray that God will raise up tens of thousands of messengers and messages like this one.

Corey Russell, International House of Prayer, Kansas City, Missouri, and author of Pursuit of the Holy, Ancient Paths, and The Glory Within.

Underneath the Shadow

Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ

Angela M. Hawkins

Trilogy Christian Publishers

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive

Tustin, CA 92780

Copyright © 2018 by Angela M. Hawkins

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, KING JAMES VERSION®, KJV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) taken from The Holy Bible, King James Version. Cambridge Edition: 1769.

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.

For information, address Trilogy Christian Publishing

Rights Department, 2442 Michelle Drive, Tustin, CA 92780.

Trilogy Christian Publishing/ TBN and colophon are trademarks of Trinity Broadcasting Network.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.

Manufactured in the United States of America

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN#: 978-1-64088-115-0

ISBN#: 978-1-64088-116-7 (e-Book)

Introduction

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.—Psalm 91:1

One night, as I made a few last-minute preparations for the class that my husband and I were co-teaching, one of the attendees walked past me. As he did I felt the weightiness of God’s Glory radiating from him. It stunned me. I froze in my steps and asked inwardly, Wow, God! What was that? Why is there such a presence of God on that man?

He answered, He guards the Secret Place. I immediately understood Him to mean that this man was not only committed to his time with the Lord, but that he gave that relationship priority above all others. Holy Spirit then promptly brought to my mind Psalm 91:1. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed by the realization that the Glory that I had just experienced on this man was none other than the very manifestation of the shadow of God! My mind began to race as I recalled how Peter’s shadow had healed people as he passed by them, and I was struck with the question, "What if it wasn’t Peter’s shadow that brought healing, but rather the Shadow of God overshadowing Peter?" For several weeks following, I was consumed by this revelation. It was as though I had been permitted a secret peek into Eternity. Desire had been awakened. My heart had glimpsed the horizon of a whole new experience with God, and only obtaining this coveted place in God’s shadow would ever suffice. I set out on a journey to enter this reality.

Have you ever found yourself searching for more? Are you dissatisfied with life and the extent of your existence? Have you found that even after coming to Christ (and that although you are fully committed to your local church), you still feel empty inside? Are you currently in a wilderness season? Do you feel burned out, used up, or rejected? Beloved, you are not alone! Many have asked the same questions, if only in the privacy of their own hearts, and have even at times found themselves in a dark tunnel of discouragement. If they were honest, they’d tell you of the heavy burdens of shame and guilt that they carry as a result of their unanswered questions and mounting doubts. (After all, as a follower of Christ, one should not feel this way, right?)

Beloved, you yearn for more because you were created for more—more than this average life of existence provides. You were not made to simply survive another day; you were made to thrive! You will never be happy living the norm because you were created for Glory—a life filled with the reality of the tangible, weighty, manifest Presence of God! For, behold, the darkness shall cover the Earth, and gross darkness the people: but the Lord shall arise upon thee, and his Glory shall be seen upon thee —Isaiah 60:12.

There is a thirst deep inside all of humanity to taste of the Divine, and all who have done so will never be the same. Those who have yet to taste will remain thirsty and turn to everything that this world offers in an attempt to satisfy that thirst, only to come up more dry than ever before.

Yes, God has so much more for us! In Underneath the Shadow, we will travel together to the depths of our souls and discover why it is that we feel so dry and disillusioned. We will search out our purposes and destinies, and journey into the very heart of God, where we will dare to ask, What does God really think of me? It is in dwelling underneath His shadow that we discover the secret of genuine peace and intimate friendship with God, and out of this reality, we will learn how to truly live within the Glory of God.

To get the most out of this book, you will need to bring a small notebook, a pen and your Bible with you as there will be times that we will stop to engage with the Holy Spirit. I am confident that if you give yourself fully to every chapter, you will encounter the Lord in a brand new way.

One last word before we begin. If you have never received Christ as your Lord and Savior, it is important to understand that the blessing of entering into a life Underneath the Shadow is reserved solely for those who have already made this very important step of faith. If you are ready to take this step yourself, please turn to the Appendix and start with the section titled, "How to Receive Christ as Your Lord and Savior."

Chapter One

The Quest for More

Lost Friendship

The motel room was peacefully still as I sat all alone—or so I thought. The day had started as ordinarily as any other. Having traveled with my husband on an out-of-town business trip, I was desperate for some rest and relaxation. The quietness was almost disturbing because, as a mother of four, I couldn’t recall the last time that I had heard the sound of nothingness. Silence generally required investigation in our large family.

In what was a bit out of the norm for me, I turned on the television for a few moments to break the silence as I enjoyed my lunch. I was immediately caught up in the intensity of a war scene from an old black-and-white western. Emotions flared as a couple of soldiers from opposing armies stood with their backs pressed against opposite sides of a towering boulder. They were fully armed and clearly weary from the extensive battle. The dialog led me to conclude that, in a twisted turn of fate, these warriors were once childhood friends who now found themselves on opposite sides of the battle line. My mind browsed the possible scenarios as I struggled to understand the back-story and yet discover the unfolding plot. Though fully on guard with the prospect of enemy fire, they called out a few heartfelt sentiments toward one another as if they understood that today would be their last day. Suddenly, in a final attempt at reconciliation, one friend could take it no longer and cried out, Let me see you. Let me see your face! With a new rush of fear flushing over him, the other friend cried, NO! NO! It is too late! It was deeply saddening to see the love and loyalty that they had clearly once shared, now dissolved into complete distrust and disillusionment. In only a few short moments of watching, I was pulled in and could feel their loss.

My thoughts were interrupted as I heard the voice of God speak to my heart. It was as clear as a sounding bell. That’s what it means to truly be a friend. A friend is someone you can view face to face, with complete transparency and trust. I understood Him perfectly, despite the fact that in today’s culture of friends, the sanctity of genuine friendship has been almost altogether abandoned for the superficial social-media like or follow.

His words pierced me. I longed for authentic friendship with people, but mostly with God.

The Visitor

I pondered His thoughts as the final scene closed with an expected tragedy. I turned off the television and stood so that I could walk across the room for my books and Bible. Suddenly, Holy Spirit walked into the room and bumped into me. Now, before you conclude that I’m delusional, let me state that I understand that Holy Spirit is always with us. I also recognize that He reveals Himself from Glory to Glory. I won’t try to reason it all theologically. After all, if faith came with guarantees, it would be no longer faith, and if the supernatural could be explained naturally, it would not be authentically supernatural. This was different; it was Holy Spirit in supernatural flesh. Out of the ordinary, the extraordinary had just been birthed in that lonely motel room, and I was forever changed. My sabbatical had been invaded by Holy Spirit in a tangible and manifested Presence. All I could do was weep. I did not see anything, nor did I need to. He was there, and this was a moment that I had sought for years. I fell to my knees and simply worshiped.

As I worshiped the Lord and was raptured in the beauty of His Presence, I began to hear the words in my spirit: The pen of a ready writer; the pen of a ready writer. Although I understood that He wanted me to grab pen and paper, as He had spoken this to me in times past, I tried to ignore His instruction. I admit that this was a crazy notion, but I just didn’t want to move for fear of disrupting the holy moment. Nevertheless, He persisted, so I grabbed pen and paper and literally scribbled what I heard while keeping my face low and my heart prostrate before Him.

What He shared shook me and launched me on a journey to discover the heart of God. This journey has brought me to this very moment of sharing this book with you. As a matter of fact, as I sit here pulling notes from that encounter out of my journal, I am startled to see that it occurred exactly 42 months ago today. I will not share it all here in this opening, but I will share throughout this book small portions of His words, as well as fragments of revelation that I have received along my quest—fragments that have evolved into a beautiful mosaic reflecting the Father heart of God. The entire encounter lasted nearly two and a half majestic hours. I am confident that as I share these words, they will launch you into the same incredible journey and leave you much the same way they have left me—ruined for anything less than organic friendship with Almighty God.

"The time is short. My people do not even realize just how short the time really is. They are not ready