Herbert the Golf Cart

By Matt Wiedeman

Ben and his friends are back in this adventure book where they meet Herbert, the lovable golf cart with a mind of his own.

On a trip to their Grandparents' farm, Ben and Beth discover Herbert, an almost human golf cart stashed in the back of the barn. Ben has big plans to use the golf cart to deliver newspapers. When he gets his paper route, he is surprised to learn that there is a Great Paperboy Race at the end of the summer. Can an old golf cart like Herbert actually compete in the race against the new golf carts? Luckily, Ben's friend Cole is a golf cart mechanic.

This wildly fun roller-coaster ride of a book will be hard to put down.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Matt Wiedeman
• Release date: Mar 10, 2021
• ISBN: 9781005841676

Matt Wiedeman

Matt lives in Cincinnati, OH. His books tend to have jokes, sarcasm, and adventure. Also, there will likely be poop and fart jokes.Please email any questions or comments to [e-mail]

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Herbert the Golf Cart

By Matt Wiedeman

© 2021 Matthew Wiedeman

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law. For permissions contact:

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Cover design by George Kamiki

8th grade graduation

I can’t believe my babies are going to high school, said Mom, as we got ready for our eighth grade graduation ceremony.

My twin sister, Beth, and I rolled our eyes at each other.

Maybe this was a big deal back in your day, Mom.

Oh stop. I’m not that old.

Mom might have been right that it was a big deal. I mean, our grandparents came into town from Minnesota just for this. They stayed with us the whole week and were leaving right after the ceremony.

Time to go, shouted Dad.

We all jammed into the minivan and headed to school together.

Back in my day, we didn't have a graduation ceremony after every grade, grumbled my gramps.

Ok, maybe he didn’t think it was that special either. We were still glad that they came anyway.

Dad, relax, said my dad to his dad. Ben and Beth graduating from middle school is a big deal. High school is going to be a whole new ballgame with new challenges. Eighth grade graduation is like the door to the next level.

If you say so, he harrumphed.

I’m so glad you included us for this big day, said Grandma.

We pulled into the school lot. The event was held in the auditorium of our school so we all made our way there. Beth and I went up to the stage. Everyone in the class was dressed up for the occasion. The boys were wearing ties while the girls all wore dresses.

The school had bleachers for us to sit on. We were assigned seats. I sat next to my friends Cole Barnes, who lives on my street, and Gloppy. Gloppy’s real name is Boris Gloppenstein but he prefers Gloppy. Beth sat next to Angie in the row in front of us. Angie and I had a short term relationship that had just ended.

What happened with you and Angie? whispered Cole.

We broke up, I replied.

Bummer, said Cole.

Yeah, she had this really annoying habit. When we were doing math homework together, she had this thing where, when she would solve a problem, she would say ‘I got it’, I told him.

You broke up with her because she said ‘I got it’ after each problem? asked Gloppy, shaking his head.

Yeah, you're easily bothered, added Cole.

Hey, have you been to the woods lately to see Beanie? asked Gloppy.

Not in a few weeks. Maybe we can go there to see what old Beanie is up to, I said.

Yeah, maybe. I’ve got some other plans for the summer, he replied.

What are you doing this summer, Cole? I asked.

Next week, I'm off to golf cart mechanics school. I'll learn all about golf carts and maybe work at the golf course.

That's awesome. I would love to have a golf cart to drive around. Maybe you can help me with my dream.

You dream of owning a golf cart? Ben, we have to get you some bigger goals, he mocked as the ceremony got started.

I just need a golf cart of my very own. Then I could get a job as a caddy at Bushgrass golf course, I wondered aloud.

None of this sounds likely, he replied, as the ceremony was starting.

Beth was particularly excited because she was named eighth grade valedictorian and was going to deliver a short speech. After the usual pomp and circumstance, Principal Carlotto went up to deliver a short speech.

These kids all worked hard and are ready for the next stage of their lives - high school. You know kids, when I entered high school, I wasn't the suave and sophisticated grown up you see before you. Oh no sirree. I was a gangly mess of nervous energy. But look at me now! Now, I'll announce the school valedictorian. This year’s eighth grade valedictorian is Beth Reynolds.

Beth went up to deliver her short speech that she had been rehearsing.

Thanks Principal Carlotto. I just want to say congratulations to the class - We did it! Thanks everyone.

When she returned, I gave her a thumbs up. After the big event, we all gathered for punch and cookies in the cafeteria. We sat at a table with my grandparents who had big news.

Hey kids, your grandparents want you to visit them at their farm for a week, said my dad.

Yeah, we can fish, milk the cows, and other fun stuff, added Gramps.

I don’t know. I was planning on sitting in the basement and playing video games the entire summer, I stated.

Back in my day, we would never have thought of missing a chance to spend time outdoors, said Gramps.

He’s just kidding, of course, said my mom giving me a look as if I'd just said something stupid.

I mean, of course we’d like to go. Right Beth? I asked.

If it's not freezing cold then I'll go, she added.

It’s summertime. The weather is perfect this time of year, said Grandma.

What else do you have going on? asked my mom.

I was planning on reading a book every week this summer so this trip could get in the way, I joked.

Ben, you don’t even know how to read, joked Beth.

Ha ha, you so crazy! I replied.

Great then it is settled! said Gramps.

Did we really have a choice? I joked.

Not really, said Dad.

Hey there, Gramps. We’ve not been out to see you in a while. It’s usually too cold to go to the old barn but since its summer time, maybe we can check out what’s in there, I said.

Ben, the old barn is off limits. Don’t even think about going there because it is dangerous, he said with a stern tone. You could easily fall or have some large object bonk you in your head.

Ok, I thought I would ask is all, I said.

Well we're leaving tonight so we’ll see you when you get there. You remember the way, Son? he asked my dad.

Do I know the way to my childhood home? he asked rhetorically.

Ok, it sounds like you do, Gramps replied.

Don’t worry, Gramps. I have GPS on my phone so we’ll take the best route.

"Back in my day, we didn’t have fancy electronic