Comfort for Grief

By Michael CJ Fox

Humans, the smartest species on the planet, have still not been able to find answers to the mysteries of Life, Death and Love. When the fragility of Life and Death collides with the strength of Love, Grief takes over. 

Grief is a force which can turn life upside down. There are no ready-made solutions to Grief. We have to figure out new ways to cope, new ways to live our lives, when they have been crippled by grief. There is only one thing that helps when you are overwhelmed by Grief, and that is Comfort. 

This book aims at providing comfort, as you go through the journey of Grief. Drawing comfort from various topics such as Philosophy, Science, Religion, Art etc, interspersed with beautiful stories, here is solace for you in the face of loss. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Michael CJ Fox
• Release date: Jan 31, 2021
• ISBN: 9781386241249

Book preview

Comfort for Grief

Contents

Title

Dedication

Copyright

Preface

1: Comfort from Philosophy

2: Comfort from Science

3: Comfort from Religion

4: Comfort from Life

5: Comfort from History

6: Comfort from a City

7: Comfort from Poetry

8: Comfort from Purpose

9: Comfort from Dance

10: Love Knows no Death

Acknowledgements

Notes

Dedication

To all who experience Grief.

Copyright

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form.

Comfort for Grief

First edition

Copyright © 2021 Michael CJ Fox.

Written by Michael CJ Fox.

Preface

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When the fragility of life and death collides with the strength of Love, Grief takes over.

When you have been fortunate enough to love someone in this world, you would also be paying the price for that love when death visits and that price is Grief.

We are born, we grow, and we know that we will die one day. We also know that one day, our loved ones will die too. But this (sub)conscious knowledge that we have, doesn’t make the pain go away when death knocks on the door. Love, Emotion, Knowledge and Intellect play their own separate roles within us. Knowledge can shed light but not heal grief.

The knowledge of life’s impermanence is taught to us every day, through various examples of nature. The Sun sets every day, but we are not overwhelmed by grief that it will be the last time we will see the Sun. We have faith that the Earth will spin as its meant to and the Sun will rise the next day. Similarly, maybe love will unite us again, except we just don’t know at this moment because we don’t know the answer to the greatest mystery of existence - what happens after death. Grief after death, is like watching a Sunset and assuming that it's the very last sunset - the last time we will ever see the Sun again. However, there will be another Sunrise and in the same way, the force which brought us here, brought us together, Love will reunite us, we just don’t know it yet.

Our steps on this dark journey of Grief have to be weighted with faith in our love, with love in our hearts as a guiding compass as we become the light in our lives. 

Origins of the book

I started this book in 2019, before the Pandemic started, and I never imagined for a moment when I began this project that the World would experience untold loss and grief by the time I finished and released this book. My heart goes out to all who have been grieving during these dark times and I hope this book comforts you with its every page.

I was fortunate to have met my soulmate and had the pleasure of experiencing 17 years of true love on this planet. From the first moment we looked at each other, I knew we would be together until our last, together for an eternity. When my soulmate passed away, my life was hit by a force I never knew before, Grief.

But this book is not about my journey into Grief or how I handle it everyday, this book is for you, for everyone who has gone through or is going through this journey of Grief.

Grief enters our lives at its own time and pace and shakes the very foundations of our life. During this time, comfort is one of the most important pillars which supports us. This book will take you through the journey of love, grief and comfort as I journeyed my way to the ends of the world in grief.

I explored many, in fact, far too many topic areas in my search for answers and how to understand these new feelings. Every avenue I explored did not give me the answers I need, the fundamental explanation of why we are here, why we feel love and why we die. No being on the planet has been able to understand these basic mysteries of life, love or death, so how can I presume to give you the answers you need as you go through the journeys of grief. All I can offer is comfort from various areas to help you on your journey of grief. These various subjects were insightful, helpful to some extent and comforted me. The only goal in my research and in writing this book is to provide Comfort for Grief. I don’t follow a specific religion and neither am I subscribed to a particular philosophy of thought. Neutrally, I explored many subject areas, uncovering the philosophies of the ancient past and the scientific discoveries of the present day, fine-tuning this book towards providing Comfort for grief. Therefore, every line I wrote, every paragraph I completed, and every Chapter I structured was oriented around this sole purpose, providing comfort for Grief.

And finally, Grief can occur during various stages of life – anything associated with loss can cause grief, for example - during a divorce, during loss of a friendship, during a breakup but this book is intended to comfort the storm of grief which comes after the death of a loved one.

Chapter One

Comfort from Philosophy

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Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow. - the final words of Steve Jobs

We begin with the story of Nachiketas, the boy who questioned the god of Death himself.

Long long ago, Vajashravasa, began a Ritual, an offering to donate his possessions to the gods, in return of course for a gift, the gift of his entrance to heaven. His son, Nachiketas was barely 7 years old, an engaging child and very interested in the Ritual his father was doing.

Nachiketas noticed that his father was donating old unused possessions and assumed that his father will not get very far, certainly not to heaven, if he was trying to please the gods. Nachiketas wanted to turn things around for his father and assumed that a young son would be the best offering for gods. He pestered his father asking him repeatedly I too am yours, to which god will you offer me?. Out of sheer irritation, Vajashravasa yelled out I will give you to Yama Dharmaraja Himself. Yama Dharmaraja was the god of death. Dharmaraja translates approximately to the King of Justice, implying that the god of Death is just at all times.

Despite the pleas of his father that he said the words unthinkingly, Nachiketas made his way to the palace of the god of death, dutifully upholding the word of this father. 

However, Yama, the god of death was out and the palace guards weren’t sure what to do with Nachiketas. The entrance into the god of Death’s house is only given to those whom the god chooses personally. No one had ever come for a visit, let alone proclaiming themselves as an offering to the god of Death. Unsure and not wanting to anger Yama by letting Nachiketas enter Yama’s palace, the palace guards gave Nachiketas two options – either he can wait outside the gates or he can go back home.

Nachiketas wouldn’t give up so easily and go home. He waited outside Yama’s palace for three days and nights without any food or water until Yama returned. Upon his return, Yama noticed Nachiketas who was waiting outside and felt terribly bad for the state, a guest of his home, found himself in.

Yama took Nachiketas inside his palace and gave him a great feast. He apologized to Nachiketas for making him wait outside and gave him three wishes to assuage himself of his guilt. Nachiketas thought for a moment and as his first wish, he asked Yama for Peace – for his father and himself, when he returned back to his father. Yama readily agreed and granted that, but not before telling Nachiketas that it is in Nachiketas’ hands to bring about that peace. Next, Nachiketas wanted to learn about the ritual of Fire sacrifice. It was said that those who learnt the mystery of the Fire sacrifice would gain an entrance to heaven. Yama gave him that knowledge.

For his final wish, Nachiketas asked Yama What comes after the death of the body? Some say there is something and others say there is nothing. What is the truth behind? Yama was shocked by the little boy’s deep spiritual question.

Dear boy, do not ask me about matters of life and death. This is a mystery to the Gods themselves too. Ask me something else. I will grant all your wishes other than this. Yama tries to convince Nachiketas.

Nachiketas persists, "O Yama, there is no other wish for me apart from seeking this knowledge about the mystery of life and death, truly nothing