Look Mom I'm a Poet (and So Is My Cat)

By Andrew Shaffer

For fans of SNL’S DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY and BILLY COLLINS, a new book of humor from New York Times bestseller Andrew Shaffer.

In his first full-length poetry collection featuring over five dozen new and selected poems, humorist Andrew Shaffer explores our modern world from Fortnite (“I don’t care”) to pretentious Instagram poets (“Lord Byron would have drunk wine from your hipster skull”).

"Look Mom I’m a Poet (and So Is My Cat)" is playful, hilarious, and accessible to readers who don’t know poetry from a hole in the ground.*

*Holes in the ground are filled with snakes. As any verse jockey worth their meter will tell you, there are no snakes in poems.

• Language: English
• Publisher: 8th Circle Press
• Release date: Jun 1, 2021
• ISBN: 9780463404348

Andrew Shaffer

Andrew Shaffer is the author of Great Philosophers Who Failed at Love and, under the pen name Fanny Merkin, Fifty Shames of Earl Grey. His writing has appeared in such diverse publications as Mental Floss and Maxim. An Iowa native, Shaffer lives in Lexington, Kentucky, a magical land of horses and bourbon.

Book preview

Look Mom I’m a Poet (and So Is My Cat)

PRAISE FOR LOOK MOM

Like a terrible accident scene that I felt ashamed for staring at […] except the book was funny and accident scenes aren’t. Also, what a cute cat!

A BOOKISH BUTTERFLY

Andrew Shaffer is a mood.

BOOKSTAGRAM OF MINE

This book made me infertile. It was either this book or the vasectomy I had around the same time I was reading it. Either way, buyer beware.

BOB LINGLE, OFF THE BEATEN PATH BOOKSTORE

I’m not a laugh out loud kind of person, but Andrew Shaffer had me giggling at work while trying to pretend I was actually working.

BOOKS ANXIETY

NICE THINGS PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ANDREW SHAFFER

Always funny.

LITREACTOR

Witty…. Clever….

USA TODAY

[Fifty Shames of Grey is] the literary equivalent of a good Saturday Night Live skit.

THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER

A pro at parodies.

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

You’re not funny and if I ever met you I would punch you in the face.

AMAZON CUSTOMER

For Mom, who once told me,

You’re a poet and don’t know it.

In my sentences I go where no man has gone before.

---

— President George W. Bush

CONTENTS

Look Mom I’m a Poet

Etiquette

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Keep Your Clothes On

I Read Your Chapbook

I Have a Pretty Granddaughter. I Also Have a Gun, a Shovel, and an Alibi.

Planet Hollywood

The Ballad of Bart O’Kavanaugh

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Advice for the Young Poet

Lesson Learned, I Guess

Beautiful You

All Hands on Deck

Your Authentic Self

Don’t Throw Away Your Shot

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Two-Hundred Million Reasons Not To Tell People You’re a Writer

Great Kentuckians of Kentucky: George Clooney

One