gypsytales: book 2

By mirel

Is true love something to be sought, to be gained, or is it something we unknowingly deny ourselves in the mere pursuit of it? If we want to measure what we call love, how do we expect it to last forever?

Katerina Markova, a captivating young woman from a mysterious land full of ancient secrets, has set out to define true love. She embarks on a journey destined to alter the fate of humanity. Through her experiences she redefines beauty, strength, courage. She is not smarter or prettier than any other girl but she proves to be much braver.

A breathtaking experience at a gypsy camp forces her to constantly seek the gypsy passion in life. She dreams of a grand epic love not suspecting that the boy she encounters on the side of a dirt road would lead her there.

Anyone who has been fascinated by our multidimensional existence and the divine mysteries of life would be thrilled to discover a unique view of the true power of the human spirit.

This is part 2 of the novel: gypsytales - published in 3 separate e-books.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Dec 12, 2020
• ISBN: 9781098340483

Book preview

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Copyright© 2020

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are used fictitiously or are entirely the product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

ISBN: 9781098340483

for the beautiful boy who gave me love and hope

when he knew so little of both

BOOK 2

…..

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;

If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools:

…..

If – Rudyard Kipling

Table of Contents

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER 14

CHAPTER 15

CHAPTER 16

CHAPTER 17

CHAPTER 18

CHAPTER 19

CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER 21

CHAPTER 1

The Ace of Hearts, a dirty martini with three olives and an oops, I just shit my pants pug shot? Was that the only legacy Milosh was leaving behind if I never ever saw him again?

I spent days analyzing the message of the photograph. I zoomed into the card to ensure it was indeed the Ace of Hearts, I even went on to analyze the three olives in the martini glass and whether they had secreted enough juice to make the martini dirty. And every minute I spent thinking of that dog I wondered if he gave me a second thought.

One day, my hand just reached out for the phone which hadn’t seen his incoming number since that chilly night. Don’t know what got over me at that moment, perhaps I didn’t want to wake up in my Granny Central night gown years later in some retirement home, to which my son had long forgotten the address, wondering what if I had picked up that phone forty years ago.

I mumbled for a few minutes…who knows what, to which he responded:

My buddy is having a birthday party tomorrow night. Wanna tag along?

Not the first words I was hoping to hear after an eternity of complete silence following my first I love you, but I decided to tag along.

I waited for him at a bank parking lot, so we could share a ride to the restaurant (yeah, right – that was the only reason.) I felt uneasy, split in half. The time I was to spend playing with my little angel I was giving to Bau-Bau. The pull was stronger than gravity.

When I saw the red Jeep approaching, my heart swelled with something heavy but beautiful. Not an emotion but more like an orchestra playing cellos deep into my chest. Who was I kidding, how could I pretend he’s just a friend. He looked better than ever. His rolled down window was letting the winter breeze kiss his tall forehead, while he was blowing smoke rings my way. I jumped in and while I was admiring his loose-jeans-cable-knit-wool-sweater-number-four-haircut handsome ruggedness, he put out the half finished cigarette and handed me a gift – another CD. A picture of a very disturbing red creature with a crooked smile was burnt on the cover with two sentences coming out of its mouth.

Kiss me. I am a devil.

I didn’t like it.

He popped the CD in and Enrique Iglesias started singing Not in love. Sexy, yes, but what was he trying to say? And wherever did he find this? I had never heard it on the radio before.

Minutes later I was brought into a fancy Zen looking restaurant to realize that his work buddy was a tall, gorgeous, model-looking Columbian girl in a hot red dress. Common, seriously?! I have to compete with Columbian coffee now? I felt like the second cousin who had just arrived from the farm in a plaid shirt and faux fur vest. A little hint of where we were going and who I was supposed to look at all night would have been helpful but he liked to surprise me and savor the look on my face.

We gathered at the bar to wait for the rest of the party and I ordered a Cosmopolitan, to infuse a little sophistication into the cow girl. And exactly when I was starting to feel it, one of the Columbian guys asked me quite loudly, pointing to Milosh: Are you guys married?

I wish!

Why couldn’t I remember that yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to just about any question? Too late now! The damage was done with witnesses. The wings of that thing were so powerful that it was still lingering hours later. I excused myself to the restroom where I remained for the duration of the appetizers.

They had all been seated at a private eight top on the other end of the restaurant and it took me a while to find them. Milosh got up from the table and gently pulled out the only empty chair which conveniently was right next to his. He had already ordered me my favorite dish on the menu. That’s right! My just friend had ordered exactly what I would’ve ordered myself: spicy tuna cut roll. Perhaps my palate was too predictable but I took that as a grand gesture.

We talked about anything from art to linguistics and the same guy who had asked the question couldn’t help but make another observation – observing us had become his thing for the evening:

Just friends? You have such an intense connection. You look like you’ve been together for ages.

I wanted him to shut up. I wanted everyone to shut up. All I wanted to see and hear was Milosh. I got up and walked outside to get some air in the garden. Milosh excused himself from the table and came to accompany me.

There was a small Japanese garden with a unique waterfall and a quaint wooden bridge right in front of it. We walked slowly hand in hand to the middle of the bridge; he grabbed me by the waist, pushed me against the arched railing, and started charming me with his magical Rs. I could feel tiny water drops teasing the lower part of my neck and flowing down my spine.

All of a sudden I started recalling out loud some of the most bizarre experiences with the men in my life before him. When my busy mouth started going into too much detail I knew it was time to shut up. He was the best listener but even he had reached his limit – his face was nearing mine. The tiny water drops had gathered momentum and were hitting my ear lobes impatiently. I felt the power of his burning eyes once again.

He grazed my cheek with his, pressed his prominent nose against mine and as he was about to wipe that cherry gloss off my lips, the valet guy startled us with a question and the moment was gone. We went inside with lowered heads – our hands, necks and faces somewhat wet – and sat quietly trying to hide what was obvious to the other six at the table.

Through the remainder of the evening he was consuming my hand under the table – teasing my fingers and rubbing them gently onto the inside of his thigh. When the fluttering reached unbearable heights, I felt the urge to leave. Milosh gave me a hard squeeze almost at the same time, as if he had heard my intention, and we both got up and left.

We held hands waiting for the valet; we held hands driving on the freeway; we held hands parking the car. And then the water dam couldn’t hold any longer. I can’t remember who jumped onto whom first but there was definitely jumping through seatbelts and armrests. Biting of every imaginable kind, devouring of lips, tongues, necks, cheeks, gulping down water and then all over again. I was shivering, every cell of my body was awake, even the ones I did not know existed. Not in Love was still playing on the stereo.

The baby was sound asleep when I got to my friend and I decided to accept her invitation to spend the night there. I told her about the birthday party, not mentioning a word of Milosh, in her eyes I was a respectable mother and wife. Throughout the dark hours of the early morning I thought of us: whether that ‘non-date’ meant anything to him; whether he felt the intensity I felt; whether he would disappear again. From time to time, I glanced at Lubcho’s angelic face, smelling his sweet perspiration with the aroma of freshly baked bread, trying to remain present and grateful. The background noise of the downstairs neighbors having floor-to-ceiling shattering sex was not helping. It was all I could hear, all I could see.

The next day I was still on fire and hurriedly sent him an email with a collage of my best pictures over the years, with Lubcho’s image in the middle, just in case he had any doubt who the center of my universe was.

–— Original Message –-

From: Katerina Markova

To: Milosh Klimarski

Sent: January 14 10:10 AM

Subject: hey

Hey There Klimarski,

First, thanks for such an unbelievable evening last night.

Have not gotten around to listen to the rest of your new gift but the first song gave me plenty to think about. I have something for you too, just in case you try to erase me from your memory again.

Have a nice and relaxing day off!!!

Meow.

–— Original Message –-

From: Milosh Klimarski

To: Katerina Markova

Sent: January 14 11:30 PM

Subject: RE: hey

hey you,

forget you? nah, don’t think so. thanx for the pix, i love them.

i wish it was nice & relaxing day off. but it wasn’t meant to be…

i’ll write you again in an hour or so because my eyes are shutting down as i’m typing - i’m so fkn sleepy i can’t believe i didn’t pass out behind the wheel. there’s just one more thing i have to do before i doze off (it involves you too, although imaginary for the moment, but soon…)

bau-bau

The following evening I decided to deliver in person a CD I had burnt before Christmas but never gave to him. I knew with the few large parties he had mentioned he wouldn’t pick up his cell phone so I called the restaurant directly. The hostess picked up and I said in a thick Eastern European accent: Can you please call Milosh to the phone? It’s his mother. It’s an emergency. Milosh came almost immediately and I started laughing expecting the same reaction from him, but he wasn’t laughing. He coldly said I can’t talk right now and hung up the phone. That hurt. Then to make things worse I kept bugging him via text all night about things from the past until he finally ‘text hung up’ on me.

–— Original Message –-

From: Katerina Markova

To: Milosh Klimarski

Sent: January 15 11:16 PM

Subject: it’s your mother

Why are you always so sensitive? I was hoping to talk to you for a while tonight. You always go inside your shell when things get heated.

I am more upset at myself actually. Why am I always so pushy trying to control things? I guess I can’t get over the fact that I was the first to tell you ‘I love you’ via voicemail, instead of whispering it in your ear… But I can’t turn the clock back.

I was just so afraid that I would never ever hear from you again that I had to lay all my cards on the table, right before you laid your ‘dog poker card’…

Classic you! The girl tells you she loves you and you respond with a BAU-BAU…Actually, your first ‘I love you to death, Katerina’ came a while ago, via txt message, but I chose to ignore it since I knew you didn’t really mean it mean it. Plus nothing counts until I can actually look into your eyes when you say it. However, I still keep that message along with the Sophia Loren compliment. I am pretty sentimental that way.

Tonight I came to the restaurant to give you something. I was right outside your door and you had told me so many times: ‘f*ck the customers, they can wait a few minutes’, so I wanted you to have a ‘MOM’s emergency phone call’ and come outside for a minute, but when I heard how coldly you cut me off I kind of changed my mind. I went home not disappointed but with the hope to do the surprise some other time…But now I am disappointed.

K.

–— Original Message –-

From: Milosh Klimarski

To: Katerina Markova

Sent: January 15 11:54 PM

Subject: RE: it’s your mother

Katerina,

you are being dramatic and i can say that to you as a friend. i was in deep shit when you pulled ‘your mom is calling’ routine. by the way – classic! you sly little witch, you. just be careful tho’: i’m an infamous motherfucker.

you know i love talking to you and i love being with you. you drive me absolutely nuts, but when there are things to be done, there are things to be done.

relax, girl. it’s me.

bau-bau

Our second make out session was in my car during his dinner break, and it was mind-blowing. I don’t know what made it sexier, his subtle cologne (probably designed for teenagers) or the half unbuttoned starched white shirt showcasing one of his most attractive body parts. But it wasn’t just the physical that attracted me to him, there was definitely something metaphysical. If I had to put it in one sentence it would be: a feeling that all is right in the Universe.

–— Original Message –-

From: Milosh Klimarski

To: Katerina Markova

Sent: January 17 10:50 PM

Subject: hey gypsygirl

hey gypsygirl,

i loved seeing you tonight and i’m so bummed out it was so brief. you looked soooo hot!!! damn, Katerina, you taste so good. your kisses speak volumes - you can’t fake that! and i’ll be honest with you: i feel so bad that i deleted your voice message before hearing it all the way through.. i don’t know what i was thinking, maybe i thought i was gonna see you real soon or whatever but i felt a pang of guilt tonight because i realize how difficult it must be with your schedule and your domestic situation to make time to come and kiss a govedo like me…

can’t wait to see just how deep the rabbit hole goes..

–— Original Message –-

From: Katerina Markova

To: Milosh Klimarski

Sent: January 17 11:01 PM

Subject: RE: hey gypsygirl

Remember this one for always, my Dearest Dog:

Never been kissed before you, never been kissed after you!

Seriously, I don’t think I have ever felt what I feel while kissing you and I can only hope you feel close. Kissing other people, without going into too much detail, was either too dry or too wet, or the tongue was too short or too long…or whatever …but with you is just RIGHT…Remember when I told you: i just want to see something? The truth is I wanted to see if it feels the same kissing you compared to so many years ago. What can I tell you, nothing has really changed…it’s actually getting better.

I have to tell you a secret. I had this guy who broke my heart and I constantly kept fantasizing what it would be like to see him and be with him again, and when the chance presented itself, I felt nothing, absolutely nothing, except regret that I had wasted so much of my precious time thinking about him.

So that is why I wanted to kiss you so badly after you reappeared out of nowhere back into my miserable life. Well, the news is that you were not just a crush, not at all. But hey we’ll just have to find out if that deep hole leads us to Gypsyland after all.

–— Original Message –-

From: Milosh Klimarski

To: Katerina Markova

Sent: January 17 11:11 PM

Subject: RE: hey gipsygirl

Oh, Katerina…

what am i gonna do with you???!!!  (that question is rhetorical - i have an idea or three.)

i was actually pretty shocked how intense our kissing is. i mean, i know you’re not some chick i met in a bar, but i was not expecting to be affected the way that i was…it absolutely did a trick on me and these last few days i’ve been kinda off…a little dazed, a little confused…wow.

that was such a rad thing you wrote to me: that you still feel as passionate as you did so many years ago. no one’s ever told me that. but then again, no one comes even close to you. you know how people always have that one image of something or somebody? that one favorite what if scenario? i’ve often wondered over the years if i would ever have that thing with someone special…i’ve wondered if maybe it was my ex-wife? some other relationshit (i mean -ship) but no matter what i do or how hard i try, inevitably my thoughts always turn to you.

you’ve said and done everything a guy could possibly want a woman to say to him. you’re so perfect it’s fuckin scary. maybe i’m experiencing the too-good-to-be-true-so-let’s-not-start-anything-if-we’re-gonna-get-fucked-over-in-the-end type jitters?!  but whatever, i guess the die has been cast - no room to hide now; i surrender: you have worn my shell thin.

so i’m looking forward to whatever lies ahead…you’re right, life is too short. and don’t forget:

vsiaka doina krava ima nujda ot edno govedo!

moooo

p.s. i don’t know what kind of voodoo spells you put on me but i think i’m starting to lose myself in you.

Why do guys think we’ve put a spell on them when they start dealing with unfamiliar feelings or should I say when the depth of their feelings begins to frighten them? All of a sudden, the inability to handle their own emotions turns the woman into a witch with special powers. And you know what they did to women like that in the Middle Ages (come to think of it they still do it in some very ‘civilized countries’ but they have reverted back to stones instead of fire.) In any case, we had begun to slowly descend into the rabbit hole and the unfamiliarly exciting ride was beginning to scare some of us.

Each morning I was driving to work with a huge smile on my face (during busy season) singing along the radio, calling him to wish him a beautiful day and making sure he knew there was a heart beating in sync with his. There was always teasing, drama, jokes and more drama. I was fooling myself into believing that I wasn’t cheating since sex and foreplay games were off limits, but what about kissing him to the point of losing my mind? Who was I kidding?

Spellbound or not he was still a flake and did not always deliver on his promises. You know what they say when things get too perfect – something always has to disturb the perfection to remind us we are experiencing on planet earth. This time it was a missed lunch date and a few phone calls that never happened as promised.

–— Original Message –-

From: Katerina Markova

To: Milosh Klimarski

Sent: January 20 11:55 PM

Subject: Just a piece of my mind

You are truly the biggest flake I have ever been ‘in contact with.’ I cannot stand it anymore, I have to do something about it. I am either going to cure you of your dog habits or drive you away. I know your main goal now is to get me in the sack, so here is what I have decided. You get 3 flake events and you are out. And by out I mean: chances of sharing a bed with me transfer to the following year.

Here is a piece of my complicated mind: it really, really, bothers me when you say you would call, or meet me, or something else, and you don’t call or are a no-show. If you know for sure you would not have the time to do it DO NOT say you will, just think twice before you say it. If your plans change tell me as soon as you know (I have repeated this to you numerous times, through letters, txt messages, e-mails, in person.) I just hate planning on something that ain’t gonna happen and YOU knowing from the very beginning that it ain’t gonna happen. You are right - just factoring you in my busy life is a miracle and if I have to deal with so much flakiness you’ll slowly kill what I feel for you, even if it’s the greatest thing ever. Whatever theories, or games, or anything else you have in your head for long lasting relationships throw them out the window, especially if they involve the game of flakiness - they don’t work with me. A day might come when you’re going to lose your own game….

I think that’s all. If I forgot anything I will be sure to let you know via a telegram…that is if you are still willing to receive communication from me.

Sorry if I was harsh, you know I am really upfront and often hurt your feelings unintentionally. Feel free to share what bugs you the most about me. I will take it at heart and work on it. And NO, I am definitely not perfect, not at all, and especially not ‘f*ckin scary’ perfect. It’s nice to hear though that I am perfect in your eyes… let’s see for how long (((:

Meow

–— Original Message –-

From: Milosh Klimarski

To: Katerina Markova

Sent: January 21 12:23 AM

Subject: RE: Just a piece of my mind

thanx for that, can’t blame you for feeling the way you do. and yes, it did hurt me big time because i swear i didn’t just not call you…i mean, shit, i’ve been so thoroughly exhausted lately (not to mention sick because this hot chick that i know gave me her cold) that i literally passed out on my bed; with my shoes still on and everything…but whatever…

to be honest, i can’t believe i am even explaining myself to you but in all fairness to you, my past conduct has hardly been solid plus i guess i love you too…is it possible?? oh boy, i’m really fucked now…

oops, just got your txt msg…

this is so weird…you always text me when i am emailing you…i’ll call you in a second…and no i’m not gonna kill you either…i might suffocate you with kisses though…

bau-bau

–—Original Message–—

From: Katerina Markova

To: Milosh Klimarski

Sent: January 21 12:30 AM

Subject: RE: Just a piece of my mind

Ok just one more think, what does this i GUESS i love you mean? Don’t use that

word in the same sentence with love please. If you are not there yet just don’t say it!

–— Original Message –-

From: Milosh Klimarski

To: Katerina Markova

Sent: January 21 12:44 AM

Subject: RE: Just a piece of my mind

don’t read too much into it, my little virgo. that’s just the way guys who

think they’re tough talk  (:

We were constantly texting or emailing if we were not talking on the phone. I wonder how I got any work done, but I did. He gave me so much energy, everything seemed exciting, even public accounting (never thought I would admit that last one publicly, ever.) I was buried in work, coordinating engagements, reviewing files, but at the end of the day I was getting to kiss my beautiful little boy and read Milosh’s words of wisdom, sometimes several volumes at once.

–— Original Message –-

From: Milosh Klimarski

To: Katerina Markova

Sent: January 21 7:30 PM

Subject: hey you

Hey Corazon,

did you ever get my txt message from last night that i would be in your neck of the woods throughout the day?! i was kinda hoping i’d be able to see you but i guess soon..

i got a bonus today or should i call it profit sharing for organizing a few catering events for the restaurant. so that got me thinking about taking the fat check and applying it towards a weekend getaway in some cool place. i’m planning to take some hot chick who can meet the following qualifications:

is a freak

has no inhibitions

is experimental

is curious about the limits of her & her partner’s sexual arousal (if any)

wears rimmed eyeglasses when necessary

likes role-playing and fantasy acting out (school-girl, librarian, a filthy little housewife…)

so, Katerina if you know any such girl, please let me know because i can’t take it any longer, i swear…

bau-bau

–— Original Message –-

From: Milosh Klimarski

To: Katerina Markova

Sent: January 21 10:15 PM

Subject: don’t trip…it’s all good

Hey KATERINA,

you know, i hope you don’t feel undue pressure because of all my direct sex talk lately… it’s all good. I have no expectations or timelines or anything like that. do i think you’re hot? hell yeah. do i want to be with you? fuck yeah. will i still be with you if you decide to hold off till you think it’s right? most definitely.

because yesterday you made several references about me doing things because i want to get you in the sack so badly that i thought were weird…i mean, i think that my past behavior and conduct shows the exact opposite… if i were just some jerk who all he wants to do is get laid, i think i’d behave very differently towards you…

i think you’re the classiest and sexiest woman i’ve ever met - but i’ve never, ever considered you a conquest or a challenge or anything that shallow…from the first moment i saw you i wanted to be with you but i’ve never made an attempt to seduce you, mislead you, or get you in the sack (until recently, that is, when the self-delusion and denial ended.)

you and i are going to be together when we’re supposed to be together, period. nothing planned, nothing analyzed, nothing assumed. here, there, anywhere - in the next hour or in the next year - i don’t care. 

i L.you and that’s that. (don’t ask for explanation, it’s all i can do right now.)

milosh

–— Original Message –-

From: Katerina Markova

To: Milosh Klimarski

Sent: January 22 10:15 PM

Subject: RE: don’t trip…it’s all good

Mishi, my sweetest little kid, you can’t even spell out the word LOVE, it is so precious. But it’s ok, you still WOW me with every other thought, just as always. Do not read too much into my references. I was just testing you and needed some reassurance and you passed. That is exactly what I wanted to hear. You can feel me so well…how can you? Or maybe you are just one slick SOB who knows what women want to hear???!!!

I am freaking out, you are right. I just have so much on my plate and I am trying to make decisions, decisions and hoping they would be the right ones in the long run, but until I do I wouldn’t know and don’t forget I am also making decisions for a little adorable innocent creature for whom I only want the best

I’ve wanted to be with you from the moment you looked into my eyes with that WOW kind of look on that full moon beach. I know that might sound cliché but i saw myself in your eyes that night. No one has ever looked at me or through me like that, EVER!!! Over the years I tried not to think of you but no matter what I did, the memories of your kisses were always coming back to haunt me and I kept on wondering could he have been the ONE??? My favorite image of us, my so called happy place, is the day we spent by the beach when my car broke down (not counting our first kiss, of course, which is in a category of its own.) Everything was so perfect I still remember every single detail about it, when I am sad i always think of that day, it was almost as if you were inside my thoughts that day, i felt you in so close…

When I finally thought i had moved on with my life my brother told me you were getting married. I felt like I had been stung by a deadly wasp right through the heart and that is when I started thinking about you again … a lot…So we’ll be together - there is no question about that. The question is whether little Katie would need a hair coloring session by then. Nighty, night!!!

Katerina

Friday night he sent me the following text:

1/26 9:09pm Wanna go to a jazz bar tomorrow?

He did not call, text or email me on Saturday, so I was certain it was meant for one of his gal pals and in error got to me. He did have a lot of gal pals but it didn’t bother me they outnumbered his buddies until this text message. Obsessive thoughts started clouding my already foggy perception of reality. I kept silent for another twenty-four hours and I couldn’t take it anymore. I made my disturbed presence known via email Sunday night, but in a gypsy fashion the moment I was about to click SEND he texted me at the exact same second, after a 2-day silence. After I clicked SEND I opened his text and little ants started crawling up and down my neck.

1/28 7:07pm Hey Kote Milo. I didn’t end up going to this jazz place. How are ya?

1/28 7:08pm Are you kidding me? It’s happening again. Open email. Meow.

–—Original Message–—

From: Katerina Markova

To: Milosh Klimarski

Sent: January 28 7:07 PM

Subject: Hope you are ok?

Today was not a good day. A close friend died this weekend (just found out today.) A very accomplished musician, a Flamenco guitarist who was a friend of the family, which made me think again of how short life is. Made me think of you. Every time something good or bad happens I want you to be around, so I can share it with you. You disappeared on me again but it is ok. I know you probably have your reasons. I hope you are healthy and you are just BZ.

K.

P.S. You probably took some other freak to the jazz bar but that is ok. When you did not call me on Sat, I knew I had gotten that txt message in error and it was meant for some other hot chick (-:

–—Original Message–—

From: Milosh Klimarski

To: Katerina Markova

Sent: January 28 7:27 PM

Subject: RE: Hope you are ok?

you wrote all that before you read my txt msg??! and i swear i sent that txt before opening this e-mail! holy crap, this kind of freaky shit simply won’t stop, will it?!

on a more serious note, i’m sorry to hear about your friend… i won’t pry for details if it’s too painful, but if you want to talk about it - call me 24/7 - i mean it.

i’ve lost too many close friends recently so i think i can empathize with that empty feeling you get when you hear such news.

last year was a horrific year. i lost two very, very close friends in the span of a month, and both were fucked-up, senseless, preventable deaths.

o.k., enough of this…

so, yeah, i wasn’t trying to disappear on you.. i don’t know, i really have been beyond busy and i’ll be honest w/ you: sometimes i feel extremely uncomfortable just picking up the phone and calling you out of the blue.. i always think that i’ll create an uncomfortable situation for you because of your ‘domestic arrangement’… so if you see me text-msg-ing or e-mailing you before i actually dial, it’s not because i’m avoiding you, it’s because i want to make sure i’m not putting you in a tight spot (bet you didn’t see it from that angle, did you?) it’s my way of saying is the coast clear?

don’t misunderstand me, though: i’m not in any way implying  that you are the reason i haven’t called in the past when i disappeared for weeks at a time… not at all… i did that because i’m an asshole. period.

but you’ve really got me fucked-up in the head lately: enough to actually make me think about how my behavior impacts others (my usual m.o. is to think about it and then do it anyways.)

as far as tonight goes, i still have a standing invitation from Patricia and her crazy sister to go to that jazz bar (and you do too, by the way)… Patricia really liked you and she tells everybody (including her mother) about the comment you made when her friend asked you if you and I are married (to which you oh-so-charmingly replied i wish)… that made my heart literally melt, i swear… it was one of the most romantic/sexy/ego-boosting things i’ve ever heard!  Patty told everybody at work that you’re gorgeous, intelligent and classy and she really, really likes you…

one of the reasons I changed my mind about going out tonight is i found out that everybody’s meeting there at 11:00pm, and the place is called Guys… what the fuck??!! i asked Patty if she’s just fucking w/ me or insulting me on purpose. She almost died laughing and her and her sister swore up and down it is not a gay bar…c’mon! a place called Guys… they said they’re dead serious and it’s not a practical joke, but i ain’t buyin’ that… i don’t feel like being ogled by someone who uses the words fabulous and girlfriend while  complaining to the bartender that his mimosa is too strong…

so, i’m about to have a cigarette, wait for your reply and promptly pass the-f—k-out while thinking ‘happy thoughts’ of you and the things i will do to you when i get the chance…

see ya soon

m.

–—Original Message–—

From: Katerina Markova

To: Milosh Klimarski

Sent: January 28 10:15 PM

Subject: had to respond to this

I had to respond to the above, hoping that f*cked up in the head is a good thing.

And no, that ‘freaky shit’ would never stop. I am telling you, as much as I thought this kind of crazy stuff only happened in movies when you see what else I ‘ve got for you, you better believe we have to keep writing the SCRIPT, because now I truly think it’s gonna be a bestseller…

Till I see you….Can I pick the place this time???

P.S. What does m.o. mean?

–— Original Message –-

From: Milosh Klimarski

To: Katerina Markova

Sent: January 29 9:02 AM

Subject: RE: had to respond to this

answers to your questions: 

1. can i pick the place this time??? - yes.

2. m.o. - literally, it stands for modus operandi which in Latin means ‘the way it works’ but it is more commonly used to say ‘the typical way of doing things’. it’s actually a fairly common term. i hear it a lot.

and i’m sorry about all the vulgarity. when i re-read the e-mail i sent you, i realize it comes off kinda harsh and prejudiced but i’m glad you got the point anyway.

and yes, as ghetto as it sounds, you got me fucked-up in the head is very much a compliment…

so, where are we meeting tonight? (i got a killer trance CD for you)

bau-bau

We met at our usual pizza place outdoor patio and for the majority of dinner we munched on each other oblivious to anything around us including our thin crust shiitake mushroom pizza, which was getting colder as we were getting hotter. I kept whispering things into his ear in our mother tongue (things that would have made even a streetwalker blush), feeling fortunate we had a language of our own that no one around us understood.

Towards the end of the feast I turned around to make sure no one was sitting right behind us and to my huge surprise my eyes met a pair of familiar blues. My downstairs neighbor (also a Roseland native) was sitting right behind me (what are the odds, right) and her chair was touching the back of mine. A while back I had shared with her small details about my mysterious teenage crush during our toddlers’ play date. Not sure if she had realized that was the crush but she definitely knew it wasn’t my husband. She was dining with her mother and they both smiled at me mischievously. My face turned the same color as the tomato sauce on that cold pizza and Milosh and I went straight to his Jeep to continue our ‘dinner’ in the front seat.

CHAPTER 2

Not sure how, but I stumbled upon this print of two cows kissing, which reminded me of my govedo (translation: the Balkan version of a bull in training, who hasn’t quite grown balls yet.) It was titled Kissing Cows and as soon as I saw it I remembered Milosh saying ‘every milking cow needs a govedo.’ I framed it right before Christmas and wrote my govedo’s wisdom on the back – the frame was more expensive than the print itself. In his CD making fashion I made him one as well, the first and last CD I ever made for him or anyone else. Me – the technically challenged klutz who could barely work the CD drive, but when inspired could do anything I guess. I threw a bunch of international songs together that told my life story – inception to date. Since I didn’t have an opportunity to see him at Christmas I decided to convert the package into a Valentine’s gift when the ‘your mother is calling’ prank did not materialize into a gift giving.

On the inside of the CD case I had glued three of my favorite baby pictures: me at two, with a look of vengeance directed at the photographer who according to my mom was wearing a white lab coat right after my vaccination; me at three with a very fashionable preschool uniform with the last button of my shirt buttoned into the middle hole and one side of my shorts stuck into my underwear, me at four at a wedding with a kebapche in my mouth, licking my fingers and up to the ears in lard. On the cover, Queen Katerina dressed as Esmeralda in all her glory.

Our romantic dinner for a party of three was