The Talk: I Never Had

By Barry Swift

This book is real, raw, and relevant - contains strong language and sexual content.

Recommended for teenagers and young adults, 17 years and older.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jul 28, 2016
• ISBN: 9781365289248

Book preview

The Talk: I Never Had

The Talk I Never Had…Sex!

Introduction

When I was contemplating the task of writing a book, I asked myself what do I have to write about and to whom will I write, or is this just a memoir?

I decided to write this book to and for all the young men who will never get a chance to have The Talk with their fathers.

The Talk is symbolic of the rite of passage, a major event in a young man's life, a critical moment, an intimate conversation of wisdom and knowledge, being passed on from a father to his son.

I never had The Talk being raised by a single mother, I could only imagine what the talk would sound like, however I did have many conversations with my uncles, cousins, neighbors, and peers which was how I gathered information about becoming a man.

The Talk never happened for me, but I'm compelled to have this talk with the young men of today, and my two sons who are approaching the age, when I will have to pass on wisdom and information to them.

When I decided to write this book, I made a declaration to be relevant, and raw. I also decided to address the topic which I believe would impact the lives of young men the most and that’s SEX.  

A Rite of Passage, especially in the African American community. 

As a child, around 9 years old, I can remember my uncle and older cousins asking me, You Like Girls, Don't You Boy? I paused and answered Yea! I like Girls and of course the next question that followed was Did You Get Some Yet? now I'm looking puzzled, because I didn't know what getting some meant. 

We all have that one relative, who is unfiltered and experienced in all things, Mr. Expert. His voice is now the loudest with everyone around awaiting my response, He Means Did You Get Some Pussy Yet? And of course my response was Yea! They all laughed then Mr. Expert followed by saying He's lying, that boy ain’t had no pussy before!

The conversation fades to a communal dialog of all the men reminiscing about their sexual prowess. I was intently listening, but most of all, I was happy the focus wasn't on me.

Later that day, Mr. Expert approached me and put his arm around my shoulder saying Don't Worry Little Cuz, I Got You Covered and You Won't Be a Virgin No More! 

Now I'm excited and worried at the same time.

Since I was 8 years old, the voices of men and women talking about sex is vivid to me. 

Sex was highlighted for me, when I became aware that the size of a man's penis mattered.

My brother and I would sneak and listen to Richard Pryor albums, in a dialog of two men exchanging insults as they urinated off the bridge; One man told the other, Man this water is cold and the other one responded and it's deep too!

My mother being a single woman, would invite her girlfriends over on a Friday night and they would get drunk, dance to the latest music and at the end of the night, came The Conversation. 

The conversation was several women, sitting around talking about who they met, who they're dating, and eventually they would talk about sex. By this time my mother had excused my brother and I, sending us to bed, but I stayed up and was intently listening to their conversations.

Man, I learned more from the women then I ever did listening to the men. The women talked in explicit detail about every man; so I knew whether or not he was married, how much money he had, what kind of car he drove, and how good or bad he was in bed. I got another valuable piece of information, how each woman felt about the guys they were dating; in most cases after hearing all the bad things about men, a majority of the women in that pow-pow would say, But I Love Him.

Listening to those conversations, three things became a common factor; how a man looks, how much money he has, and/or the size of his penis all mattered to women.

And they are willing to commit their hearts and bodies to the men who possess these traits, in spite of all other short comings. But, women are also willing to be in relationships with men who don't.

Remember Mr. Expert, my know it all cousin, who wasn't much older than me? He had arranged for this girl to meet us in the tunnel (we called