The Conners

By Dorothy Yip

If you're looking for a warm, fuzzy family book, look somewhere else.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Feb 16, 2017
• ISBN: 9781365762321

Book preview

The Conners

The Conners

Dorothy Yip

Why do they call it chili if it’s hot?

The Conner family has just decided to move to India. It’s a new place, new culture, with new acquaintances. On the surface it just sounds fascinating, doesn’t it?

The man of the family didn’t know how to break it to his family that his company had just waved him off to a new position in India. He took half the day off and spent the afternoon wandering aimlessly in the mall, running his finger through clothes he was never going to be able to afford. He was thinking, hard.

He wasn’t going to tell them that it was a promotion-that would be lying downright. But he couldn’t bring himself to say that he was really in exile. The transfer letter seemed nice enough-

"Mr. S. Conner,

The human resources department of Sally’s Seductive Lingerie hereby informs you of your transfer from the US headquarters to the newly set-up Indian branch. You will be given the honorable task of overseeing the development of our multi-national company in an exotic country and experiencing a new style of life which may prove to be beneficial for the development of our company’s new products…

which he knew could have easily have been re-written as:

You are hereby kicked out because you are too much of a loser to stay here. India is a desirable destination because it is halfway across the globe, and the further away you are the less trouble for us. Do go there, help us build a branch store that really doesn’t exist yet, and enjoy your time in exile. We look forward to your melting away into sweltering India! P.S. We do not want to hear anything from you again, and save your money on sending postcards.

And he knew he wasn’t being paranoid because he could see it all in their eyes. Those laughing eyes that really mean you’re dead meat.

So he spent the afternoon thinking of how to break it to his family. In the end he got so confused his brain decided to shut down and let his mouth do the talking.

He hadn’t been expecting such a unified reaction at the dinner table. Hell, it had been ages since he had seen his family united as one-but this time, with their faces of horror. India? His wife said in disbelief. But I can’t stand spicy stuff!

Did Daddy piss his boss off? said their five-year-old.

Nina! Her mother said. That’s not a very nice thing to say!

Then Simon said, It could be worse. which was a terrible mistake, because his wife glared at him.

I’m not going, Jacob, who was seventeen, put his headphones back on. The statement was final, and the music was deafening.

Then the dinner table was silent and Simon shoved mashed potatoes into his mouth, his brain whirring at top speed again. It’s not as bad as you think, he finally said. India is exotic. A direct quote.

His wife sighed. We don’t really have a choice, do we, Nina? She wouldn’t look at him. "Either we go, or we starve. If Daddy loses his job we