Kyle and Orville

By Luna Carrington

Kyle and Orville Flynn are two brothers with an endless curiosity about all the world’s random and miscellaneous information. Does talking to plants really help them grow? Is it possible to tie a tie without choking? What does it take to become a master of disguise? These are only a few of the many things they want to know. This collection of short stories details their daily life as they embark on a continuous quest to learn everything about nothing. The stories start out lighthearted but then delve into a more serious subplot toward the end.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jan 2, 2015
• ISBN: 9781312803138

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Kyle and Orville

Kyle and Orville

By

Luna Carrington

Copyright Information

Copyright © 2015 by Luna Carrington

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or scholarly journal.

First Printing: 2015

ISBN #: 978-1-312-80313-8

LC Publishing

16 Mt Bethel Road, #169

Warren, NJ 07059

Summary

Kyle and Orville Flynn are two brothers with an endless curiosity about all the world’s random and miscellaneous information. Does talking to plants really help them grow? Is it possible to tie a tie without choking? What does it take to become a master of disguise? These are only a few of the many things they want to know. This collection of short stories details their daily life as they embark on a continuous quest to learn everything about nothing. The stories start out lighthearted but then delve into a more serious subplot toward the end.

1.       Mysterious Headache

As usual, after school let out Kyle and Orville Flynn met up near the front doors and began walking home together. (Their house was located nearby the school.) On the way, Orville noticed that his brother was frowning and rubbing his head a lot. He inquired about it.

My head's been bothering me all day, Kyle grumbled. It throbs every time my heart beats.

What happened?

I don't know. I just woke up and it was like this. I guess maybe I fell off my bed when I was asleep or something.

Orville gave him an odd look. Kyle, you sleep on the top bunk. Your bed is like five feet off the ground. How could you fall without waking one of us up?

"Well, I don't know about you, but I guess I was really deeply asleep."

People who are deeply asleep do not toss and turn in bed enough to fall off.

But what else could've happened?

What makes you think you fell onto the floor, anyway? Did you wake up on the floor?

No, I woke up in my bed.

Orville abruptly halted. Seeing this, Kyle stopped too and met his brother's blank stare.

So let me get this straight, Orville said. "You were moving around in bed so much that you rolled off the edge and fell five feet to the ground. Despite this, you were apparently deeply asleep enough that you did not notice crashing onto the floor. However, you were not too deeply asleep to stand up and climb the ladder back to your bed. Through all of this, you never once woke up, even though you hit your head so hard that it caused a lasting headache."

Uh . . . yeah, I guess so.

Kyle?

Yes?

You're crazy.

I already knew that.

2.       According to Snapple

Why are you staring so hard at that bottle? Orville asked. And you had better not say it's because the label says 'concentrate,' because I know it doesn't and that's an overused joke anyway.

Look at this, Kyle replied.

He pointed with his finger to a yellowish square on the glass bottle's label. It read: Made From GREEN & BLACK Tea Leaves.

So? Orville said.

So, Kyle said slowly, I didn't know tea leaves came in colors other than green and black.

Oh right, you see there are actually some rainbow-colored ones growing off trees on Saturn . . .

No, seriously, Kyle said, his eyebrows furrowing. Just what exactly is the significance of green and black tea leaves?

No idea. But they put it in bold letters, so it's probably a good thing. Just take their word for it.

3.       Ugh

This girl in my English class has shoes with the word Ugg written across the soles, Kyle said.

Orville looked at him. Ugh?

Yeah, Ugg. I think it might actually be the brand name or something.

What kind of name is Ugh? Isn't 'ugh' the sound a person makes when they're groaning?

Yeah, it is, Kyle said.

So . . . when people wear those shoes, they're so miserable they groan, 'ugh . . .'?

Maybe. Or maybe they're so annoyed that they yell, 'ugh!'

Either way it's an unflattering name, Orville remarked. I wonder if it means something better in a different language.

Do you think it could? Kyle asked dubiously.

Sure. Language problems like that happen all the time. You know that car brand, Lexus? I heard that in Chinese, 'Lexus' means 'the end is here.'

4.       Ink

You have neon ink all over your arm, Orville noticed when the brothers met after school.

Yeah, I know, Kyle said with a grin. He extended his arm out to show off the collage of bright colors. Elliot painted this onto me with a bunch of markers when we got bored during math. Looks pretty cool, doesn't it?

No, actually it's a total eyesore. I'm getting a headache just looking at it.

Oh. Well.

But that's the least of my worries, Orville commented. You do know that the skin is porous, right? That means it has a lot of small holes in it. So when you draw on your skin, the ink goes through those holes and gets into your bloodstream.

Kyle's expression stayed plain for several moments.

What else? he asked finally.

What do you mean, 'what else'? Ink gets into your blood! Isn't that disturbing enough on its own?

5.       Proclivity

Orville walked into his bedroom to see Kyle sitting on the floor, scrutinizing some papers in his lap.

What are you doing? Orville inquired.

Studying for a vocab test. For some reason I can never remember what 'proclivity' means.

Oh yeah, I remember that word from last year. I remember it well because when I first saw it I misread it as 'pro-clingy.'

Kyle stared at him. Pro-clingy?

Yeah. 'Pro' as in 'pros and cons.' And 'clingy' as in, well, clingy. Like, when you're pro-clingy, you support clinginess and people who are clingy. As it turns out 'proclivity' means 'liking' anyway, so the association worked out real well.

Well, I guess I'll remember the word better now, Kyle remarked. Then his expression suddenly turned thoughtful. Hey, Orville.

Yes?

If 'con' is the opposite of 'pro,' does that mean 'Congress' is the opposite of 'progress'?

6.       Attention Span

The house phone rang. Orville stood up from the living room couch, walked over, and answered the phone. Hello?

Hi, Orville, came Kyle's voice. I found out recently that there was a study done on kids' attention spans. As it turns out, fourteen-year-olds literally can't focus on something for more than nineteen seconds without spacing out.

Really? Maybe it's because I live with you, but I thought it was shorter than that. I'm impressed.

Yeah, well, I for one am not impressed. I want to ask you, does concentration get any easier when you turn fift – AAHH AAAH AAHH AAAH!

Orville's head snapped upwards as he heard loud scuffling noises coming from upstairs. The commotion died down as quickly as it came, however, and Kyle was soon back on the phone. Hi. Sorry about that – a spider crawled on my arm.

Kyle, Orville said slowly. Why are you calling me if you're still in the house?

Uh, I guess I didn't feel like walking downstairs. Laziness, you know.

7.       Belt Loops

I noticed something when I was out at a clothes store last weekend, Kyle said.

What's that? Orville questioned.

They sell belts in the girl's section. But girl's pants don't have belt loops. Why make girl's belts if girls can't wear them?

I’m pretty sure that there are some girl’s pants with belt loops on them.

Not the ones I saw. So what gives there?

Hmm . . . Orville put on a contemplative expression.

His face was so solemn that Kyle felt impressed, but also a little afraid to speak for fear of shattering a delicate train of thought. Still, his curiosity got the better of him, for he had never known that belt loops could be such a serious topic to think about. He asked Orville, What are you thinking about?

I'm wondering why you were in the girl's section long enough to notice their pants don't have belt loops.

8.       Childish

Kyle's expression was perplexed when he and Orville met after school. Some guy called me 'childish' during class today. Was that an insult?

No.

They began their walk back home.

The way he said it, it made 'childish' seem like an insult, Kyle said.

Well, it's not, Orville said flatly. 'Childish' is not an insult to a child.

Kyle frowned, his dark eyes narrowing. I'm fourteen. Am I a child?

Are you an adult?

No.

Then you are a child.

Kyle found this a bit odd to wrap his mind around. Folks don't call people our age 'children.' They tend to refer to this age as 'that awkward phase between childhood and adulthood.'

Right, Orville scoffed. It wouldn't be so 'awkward' if they'd just come up with a damn name for it. You are a child, Kyle. So am I. Embrace the term.

9.       Pac-Man

The movie theater was crowded that night, and the line at the concession stand seemed especially long. Kyle took one look at the lengthy string of people before immediately turning to Orville and saying, Rock-paper-scissors. Loser waits in line; winner goes over there and plays Pac-Man the whole time.

Moments later Pac-Man was cruising through mazes under Kyle's command.

A scruffy teenager with a large letter B on his shirt approached Kyle. Playing Pac-Man?

Yeah.

I liked Pac-Man a lot when I was a little kid, but then my sister told me something and I could never look at him the same way again, said B.

Kyle was curious. What did she say?

She asked me, 'Why does Pac-Man eat yellow dots if he's a yellow dot himself?'

Ahh! My childhood!

I know, right? B laughed. I never did figure out the answer. I don't think I want to, either. My sister pretty much ruined Pac-Man for me. He gave Kyle an inquiring look. What about you? You have any siblings?

Yeah, I've got a sister and a brother. Natalie and Orville.

How old?

Natalie's nineteen. She's slaving away at college in another state right now. Orville's fifteen; he's standing in the line over there.

B's eyes went to the food line, scanning over the crowd. Is Orville that tall guy with dark hair?

No, Kyle said. Blond hair and a grey jacket.

B was silent for several moments.

Okay, he said slowly. I see him. And . . . you say this guy is your brother?

Yeah.

He doesn't look anything like you.

My brother's adopted, Kyle explained.

Again B went silent. Then he said, You call this guy your brother. But he's white and you're . . . some other thing; I can’t tell.

Gee, thanks.

But you're obviously not the same as him. This is messed-up. What color's your sister, then? Yellow? Blue? Green?

Pac-Man hit a ghost and spiraled into death. Kyle turned around and faced B. My sister, he said slowly, looks like me since she's technically related to me by blood. But that's nothing against Orville. It doesn't mean he's not my brother.

Yeah, it does.

No, it doesn't.

"Yes, it does, B said firmly. You say your sister's the same as you? That means you know what a real family member looks like. You can't look at Orville and call him family too – he's nothing like you or her. What were your parents thinking when they put you all under the same roof?"

This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, and believe me I've heard a whole lot of stupid things in my life. What does it matter what anyone looks like? We're all people, aren't we?

Look, I'm not trying to be discriminatory here. It's just the facts. I'm just saying, how exactly do you look at that guy and think, 'this is my brother'? Isn't it weird?

No.

B sighed exasperatedly. Kid, don't you realize you're going to get trouble over this? You tell others that Orville's your brother; people will laugh at you at best and shun you at worst.

People don't laugh at me for that reason!

They do it behind your back. You may not believe me, but they do. You know, I'm surprised you haven't already met people who've asked you about this.

Of course people have asked, Kyle said coolly. It's just that none of them were as rude as you.

He strode away from B and met up with Orville just as the latter finished purchasing their food.

Orville handed Kyle a paper cup and a bag of popcorn. Hi, he said.

I have a question.

Okay, what?

You know that you're my brother and that nothing disputes that, right? That was the question Kyle had intended