I Am Awake: The First Year

By Mary Anne Simpkins

Chronicle of one woman's experience of awakening In 2014, taking her from personal chaos through an amazing spiritual journey Into deeper truth of all things.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jan 22, 2015
• ISBN: 9781312857223

Book preview

I Am Awake: The First Year

I AM AWAKE: The First Year

By Mary Anne Simpkins

Copyright © 2014, Mary Anne Simpkins

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of both publisher and author. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

ISBN: 978-1-312-85722-3

PREFACE

Sometimes I think writing this book was the easiest thing I have ever done; Finishing it, however – wading through the editing and actual publishing has been one of the Hardest things in my life, and not just because I am technologically challenged.   Prior to this year I’ve never been one to finish what I’ve started; I self-sabotage, unwilling to rise to Any occasion.   So I’m thankful to lulu.com for making the whole process comparatively easy, thankful to those who have encouraged and eased my journey and most thankful to God and to my guides, without whom I might never have awakened to Anything.   

There are some assumptions I make in this book: I assume that you have some basic knowledge of what an ‘awakening’ is; also that you are, or will become, somewhat familiar with the term ‘starseed’, and with alien interactions on Earth in general, for when I speak of Arcturians I do not go back to ‘square one’ thinking.

No matter what you read in this book, I’m just ‘me’….writing from the mind, from the heart, doing battle with ego in Both directions at every turn.  Given a great gift in Sight, yet more than one angel or being have come to Remind me that knowledge without Wisdom is just as dangerous as any other ‘toy’ we might gain or experience in our advancement.   It seems that I have grown by leaps and bounds in just a few short months, but there are times where I seem to take two steps forward and one step back…some days I feel I take two steps forward and Two steps back, lol.    But I am Growing.

There is Too much human logic still in play in this world to ignore without at least Trying to express in writing what many now Know but cannot seem to address in words.     I have something to Say, and I admit In the writing of this that I have an agenda; seriously.     Most of all I want you to be Awake, and Thinking.    I also desire that you Know what I know, to lie down at night and sleep in Peace, as children greatly Loved.

The kicker, folks, is that due to a series of personal life-choices prior to 2014, I have what I call ‘Zero credibility’, lol.  Which leaves you free to read at your leisure without Any guilt for believing or Not believing what I have to say – this is new for Many of us, but we are Awake, we are here, and we likely  will get Better as we go along.

Now then:  I’m an idiosyncratic writer (heck, I’m an idiosyncratic Thinker) so there are words that seem randomly capitalized when I am simply Emphasizing myself in printed form, lol.   (try not to over-analyze; I admit I have tried to manage it better for book-format)

We are human; we are children of God; we are Part of God, and in this way we Are One.   Ultimately I do not stand before All; as we move inescapably toward Source I am on my knees, in humility and gratitude, for being a Part of this wonderful process we call Life.

This, is the Beginning, though it seems to be the culmination of Long years of ‘becoming’; the following represents how I Perceive the entire experience…I hope it is not too confusing but in my writing I go back and forth between ‘then’ and ‘now’, as I grow, over the course of about 6-8 months.   In this life-experience my upbringing has been a traditional Christian one, seen from a western perspective and much of it within the confines of Southern thinking…I have not been so confined in my understanding yet it must be noted, for all perspective is acknowledged within the corresponding thought of Hermetic Principles in this way….I simply Must start from Somewhere, so I use my human experience as a springboard.

I think fractally; In order to give you my mind, I must show you your Own.

All men look from the Windows of their ‘house’, which is the vessel, the body…a wise man whose window reveals the backyard knows he is discerning only Part of the whole; in his wisdom he knows he is to be caretaker of all he sees.  When there are wise men behind Each window, each discerning his or her own part and responsibility, each moved to action, then the Whole is cared for in harmony.

Truth lies in all parts of the picture, however; whatever a man experiences is still Truth, for if he perceives the backyard but does nothing About it, does that part not remain untended?   Though the one may tend his part but another turn away from his own, the overall picture shows the yard is only Partly tended, imbalanced, and this is Truth. 

We are where we Are, no matter where that is.   All we can do, at any moment, is Perceive; after this, the option to act, or not, reveals itself.

My life experience will not hold the poignancy or the power for you that your own experience brings; the higher mind welcomes the relevance of all past experience to the reality of Now, for all is truly One….the acknowledgement of Truth is that we are merely perceiving the Same experience in infinite ways, from infinite perspectives, the better to embrace what is the height, the depth, the Immensity of Truth Itself, which is Source.

Make no mistake; we are made to recognize Many windows, all showing Truth in part; do not remain imprisoned within the limitations of your own window!   The Big Picture comes when we open our windows together and move out of the house to perceive the All.

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What Is Fractal Thinking, Anyway?

For the last 125 years, more or less, man has managed an adequate-to-accurate means of measuring intelligence; the last 20 years have taken us leaping and bounding to better identify diversity in this area…crystallized, fluid measurement ….the idea, whether measuring previously gained knowledge or newly introduced information, has been single:  Practical Application of Information.  

These tests may have different backdrops, lasting 2 hours or 2 days…. yet the very Idea of testing in its varying forms create a Mindset for those being tested: Practical Application, and therefore, Relevance in the midst of multitudinous data.  

Up until recently, with so many waking humans and the apparent influx of starseed, it seems our minds have been sorely lacking in the area of fractal thinking.   The idea of making correlation between two or more seemingly unrelated issues, concrete or abstract, has just been Difficult; hence repetitions throughout time: war, enslavement, cycles of poverty…So many issues reflect this.   Our very basic inability to Understand one another, even as we shout the Same information from within our limited grasp, causes chaos among the masses.

I firmly believe we are spiritual beings having a physical experience.     Of course, I see Everything in this dimension/reality as a physical manifestation of higher Truth - including ourselves - all pieces of the puzzle, created and designed to Better us as we gain understanding of the Purpose of each fractured manifestation and it's connection and relevance to everything Else.

Some things can be made easy to understand:  for example, a child who, at age 9, learns to ride a bike thinks Yay! but has also, somewhere in the recesses of abstract understanding, learned that Patience and Effort pay off, to a Positive reward.    That’s Great, but some 10 years later that now-adult child opts out of a particularly difficult class in college because that would not Possibly relate, in his conscious mind, to the lesson of the bicycle.   And yet, would not the idea of Patience and Effort paying off not be something relevant?

An example more likely to have had past exception would be that of a man who has a boundary dispute with his neighbor, and in the midst of trying to keep his fence where it Is, learns the fine art of Mediation.  This man, now an adult, will more likely grasp the abstract concept of mediation for what it is:  an applicable tool for possible future Use.   Six months down the road, however, when he gets a new co-worker who has boundary issues and borrows his stapler, his pen, his secretary….he will just as likely Not think of the lesson learned at home just 6 months before; human ego and instinct for self-preservation will not give way to Higher Thought, and his office altercation will still likely end badly.

I’m hoping to make sense to anyone actually Reading this….I truly want you to See something.  Something Incredible, if you do not already see it.  Oh, if Only these things were as simple to our current minds as they will be to the generations of star children who are coming!   We need to embrace the mind of Truth, and Love, and be ready for a Different way.

We are parts of a whole, joined, each sharing an integral connection to every Other part by Reason of the whole; we experience our manifestations differently but we are truly never separate from that whole.

Our connection to each other becomes the Head; each of us functions as a part of the Complete Body operating by reason of the Head.   Though our parts serve different functions we cannot truly be Separate and survive, neither would we provide our Function were we to be completely separated.   Love is the function of the heart, autonomous yet empowered by the Head, providing life-energy throughout the whole, allowing us our breath and life and Purpose. 

There are those who are the hands, feet, arms and legs of the body; these are people of Action and like to be Doing things.   These are often the warriors of our ‘body’, those who do not like to sit back and let things just Happen – and can we blame them?  It is their Design.

Some parts are Connectors: shoulders, elbows, hips and knees – those whose desire and vision is to bring other parts Together; connectors easily recognize the Importance of joining parts that Must be connected in that way in order to Provide the function that makes the body work so well.

There are those who are designed to be the Skin of the body, smoothing the rawness of our parts and covering the body with protective layers; this ‘part’ is often manifested within designers, creative people, nurturers or protectors among us.

We view our entire existence from the perspective of our particular manifestation, yet in order for the body to be complete we need All parts working together for the good of the whole.  If the shoulder said to the knee, Because you are a knee, you do not see things Correctly; you must endeavor to be more like a Shoulder, this would be a Perspective, and not Truth.   For truly, what would the Body look like if it were made entirely of shoulders?   Pretty silly, I’ll bet.

In our quest to benefit the Whole, we should note that not every body part is Designed to actually work together – only to work toward the same Ultimate Purpose, which is the perfect function of the body.   For example, if we look at the body at rest – sitting, or lying down - we can see that the shoulder and the knee are Nowhere Near each other.   Nor should they be, unless during specific times when the body is putting extra Effort into something for its betterment – like, yoga.   Then you may see the shoulder and the knee touch, but what work has gone into it!

Have you ever put an applied mathematician in the same room with a right-brained, magical thinker?   (no weapons, please)   It might be like putting together the shoulder, and the knee.   These two have Equal roles in the function of the body – as do we All – but there is no reason they need to see eye-to-eye about everything in order for the Body to function as it should.     Respect is due Every body part, whether active, connective, fluid or otherwise, as All are needed to make up the Big Picture.    We cannot truly recognize Source/All if we are unwilling to acknowledge the Wisdom of that All.

Chapter One:   THE ARCTURIAN EXPERIENCE

When I was a child I talked to God as my Christian Father; he was my childhood friend, my confidant, the one I Ran to when no other would do.   As I grew he remained the same, still the One who was there for me no matter what the hour, no matter the need….I lived my human life but felt Close to him in a special way, and I Saw those certain people who seemed to share a more Personal relationship with Him than so many others.  I did not truly understand how protected I had been in my life until I became engaged to be married and God suddenly removed his blanket of protection from me.  What had I done?  I did not know, but it became clear to me that I no longer had his Peace over me…things happened that caused me to wonder about our Entire relationship.   He covered me again when I was 22, awakened me to his continued presence in my life and even ‘married’ me.   That may sound strange, but I have found I am not alone in this experience; I have never been Jealous of the many ‘wives’ of God, for even then I saw there is enough love for All.     Then came 2014, and my understanding Expanded.

For clarity of understanding here you may need to read the beginning of Chapter 4, which chronicles my past in such a way as to See how things began back in May for me, with my initial introduction to all-things-alien.

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June ’14 -  It has been 4 days since I first opened up to my ‘angel guide’ and Trusted, Believed enough to ask questions at will  (up to now, I’ve just waited til I was paying Close attention, like in meditation or when they had something Really, really important to say, in which case it was like, Louder in my head somehow).  Anyway, 4 days since he has started talking to me about Everything.   

Apparently, I am Arcturian; I have seen a picture of something from the deep recesses of my mind on Google Images, and I guess I’m sure now. …I mean, really; I came upon it by coincidence then had to google each and every species of alien ‘supposedly’ in contact or connection with Earth so I