Bridging the Gap Between Vision and Reality: Equipping Ministry Leaders to Lead With Passion

By Nakia Melecio

As founder and creator of Nakia Melecio Ministries and NKM Consulting Group, LLC, Nakia Melecio is dedicated to helping people find their place in life, both personally and professionally. Mr. Melecio has dedicated his life to serving and inspiring others through compelling coaching, collaboration, leadership development and ministry. His devotion to service and empowerment has set the course for realizing ultimate possibilities for leadership effectiveness, operational excellence, spiritual enlightenment and a host of other strategic goals and desired outcomes.
Mr. Melecio has a master’s degree in Education from the Ashford University, a Bachelors degree in Psychology from Ashford University and a Bachelors degree in Cognitive Behavior from Ashford University. He also completed in-depth coach training program to become a certified Executive Coach and life coach, and Christian Coach as well as a program to become a certified Christian education teacher.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu Publishing Services
• Release date: Jul 28, 2014
• ISBN: 9781483414423

Book preview

Bridging The Gap

Between

Vision and Reality

Equipping Ministry Leaders to Lead with Passion

Nakia Melecio

Copyright © 2014 Nakia Melecio.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of both publisher and author, except in the case of brief excerpts used in critical articles and reviews. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

ISBN: 978-1-4834-1443-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4834-1442-3 (e)

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Scripture taken from the King James Version and American Standard Version of the Bible.

Lulu Publishing Services rev. date: 7/15/2014

Contents

Preface

Chapter One: Christian Coaching

Tips for Effective Coaching

Clearly Define and Reinforce Goals and Objectives

Identify Ways to Enhance Performance

Provide Opportunities for Skill Development

Challenge Individuals for New Responsibilities

Provide a supportive environment

Provide Specific Feedback

Provide Necessary Discipline Privately

Provide Positive Modeling

Tool kit

Setting Goals:

Enhancing Performance:

Providing Feedback:

Chapter Two: The Characteristics of a Good Christian Coach

Be Christ-Centered

Build Relationships of Trust

Become an Agent of Change

Become an Agent of Empowerment

Know and Understand Yourself

Be Authentic

Be a Vision-Caster

Tool Kit

Reflecting on Self:

Reflecting on Leadership Strategies:

Chapter Three: Living Authentically

Quiet the Mind

Identify Core Values

Identify Goals

Identify Actions to Bring Authenticity

Tool kit

Considering Natural Affinities:

Journaling:

Chapter Four: Helping Others Get Close To God

Begin and End with Prayer

Focus on a Relationship with Christ

Study His Word

Create Godly Habits

Rejoice in Becoming New

Tool kit

Spending Time Outside:

Recording God’s Impact:

Passage Circles:

Chapter Five: God is Your Ultimate Life Coach

Responsibilities of a Life Coach

Determine Goals and Dreams

Discover What Has Prevented Forward Movement

Create an Action Plan for Growth

Work as a Partner, Collaborator and Cheerleader

Value of a Life Coach

Objectivity

Accountability

A Means to a Higher Self

Praise

Tool Kit

Charting Progress:

Personal Assessments:

Chapter Six: Understanding Holistic Coaching

Spirit

Emotion

Mind

Body

Responsibilities of a Holistic Coach

Meeting with Clients

Tool kit

Working SMART:

Problem-Solving:

Chapter Seven: The Power of Coaching with Scriptures & Prayer

Christian Code of Ethics

Coaching and Living as a Christian

Be a Christ-Follower

Focus on the Scriptures

Allow God to do His Work

Trust in the Lord

Be Strong in and Share Beliefs

Pray

Remain Patient

Reflect in Quiet

Encourage Fellowship

Tool kit

Scripture Share:

Visualization:

Chapter Eight: C.O.A.C.H.

Characteristics of a C.O.A.C.H

Part 1: Who Am I?

Part 2: According to Values

Part 3: God-sized Dreams

Part 4: Overcoming Barriers, Obstacles and Roadblocks

Part 5: Creating Your Roadmap

Tool Kit

Assessments:

A Guide to God’s Will:

Questions to Find God’s Will in Your Life:

Chapter Nine: Now Walk Out Your Divine Purpose

Walking with Ease

Building Blocks to a Divine Purpose

Prayer

Reflection

Faith

Focus

Perseverance

Tool kit

Godly Considerations:

Chapter Ten: Let the Holy Spirit be your Helper

Promise of the Holy Spirit

Nature of the Holy Spirit

Role of the Holy Spirit in Your Life

Workings of the Holy Spirit

Tool Kit

Invoke the Holy Spirit:

Envision the Spirit of God:

Watch for the Holy Spirit:

Chapter Eleven: Christian Accountability

Trust and the Ability to Relate

Elements of Accountability

Importance of Accountability

Means to Creating Accountability Groups

Tool kit

Accountability Group Guidelines:

Accountability Meetings:

Chapter Twelve: Living the Christian Life

You are a New Creation!

Transform and Renew your Mind

Treat Others with Love

Live Out the Teaching of Christ

Share Your Faith

Tool kit

Faith Share Assignments:

Fearless Shares:

Chapter Thirteen: Making Disciples

Like Raising Children

Finding Disciples

Making Disciples

Leading Disciples

Letting Jesus Build the Church

Tool kit

Finding Disciples:

Choosing Disciples with Care:

Chapter Fourteen: Christian Mentoring

Mentoring Others: The Great Commission

Mentor Programs

Mentoring Objectives

Steps to Creating a Mentor Program

Gathering Mentees

Tool kit

How to Build a Mentor Program:

Mentoring Activities:

Chapter Fifteen: Five Types of Leaders

The Compulsive Leader

The Narcissistic Leader

The Paranoid Leader

The Co-dependent Leader

The Passive-aggressive Leader

Tool kit

The Training of a Leader:

Guide Book to Strong Leadership:

Leadership and Decision-Making:

Chapter Sixteen: Church Planting Coaching

Coaching for Pastors and Church Leaders

Planting a Church

Planting Process:

Capitalizing on the Divine Gifts from God

Transitioning Within Your Ministry

Overcoming Setbacks within Your Personal Ministry

Emphasizing Faith Coaching

Training Sessions

Church Curriculum:

Church Planting Training:

Additional Training Opportunities:

Developing Your Team

Accepting the Challenge

Concluding Comments

Preface

Today’s Christian leadership needs development more than ever before. Having spent years teaching the word of God, I have seen a gap between vision and reality. There is a great word being preached, but it seems that many Christians do not know how to identify their own gifts, nor do they know what role those gifts play in the church. They do not know how to develop leaders. Wanting to help ministry create coaching and/or mentoring programs that can help leaders to move toward their maximum potential, I wrote Bridging the Gap Between Vision and Reality with the intention to help Christians develop and grow. More than anything, I want them to become great leaders, both inside and outside the church.

The world is crying out for great leaders to serve this world that needs them. It is the responsibility of those who have found a place in God to help others find their place as well. With a sound theological base and an academic feel, Bridging the Gap Between Vision and Reality is a program of encouragement, one that will help create great leaders who know how to train, develop and coach other leaders toward the execution of God’s plans for themselves and for the church. Using the word of God and solid research, the underlying principles of the text will drive home the importance of developing individuals so that they can move forward to develop strong leadership.

Because change is essential for an organization to grow and adapt in today’s rapidly shifting marketplace, coaching is needed today more than ever as a critical tool for organizational change. It is true, however, that people and organizations are naturally resistant to making that needed change. Coaching, by enabling leaders, managers and employees to uncover potential that might otherwise go untapped, can facilitate productive change in individuals, in teams and in systems.

The ability to coach leaders is a core competency for those helping organizations to develop. Through coaching, leaders can learn how to optimize the value of human capital, an understanding that is fundamental in today’s increasingly demanding work world. Coaching helps leaders to clarify their visions, their beliefs and their values, thereby helping them to stretch their capacity to lead and to influence others. Through positive, effective coaching, they can then become catalysts for change within their organizations. By changing leadership styles from old hierarchical models to relational models, businesses today are creating coaching cultures that encourage organizational learning. Coaching has emerged as the most effective, efficient and dynamic way to help individuals learn to think and work together more effectively.

When you hear the words coach or coaching, what comes to mind? For many, these words bring back memories of participation in sports. The coach was the leader of the team with the role to guide the team toward success. The term coaching is also very appropriate for describing the function of educators. Today’s instructors are encouraged to spend less time lecturing from the chalkboard- or in today’s word, the white board and more time leading students in discussion and in problem solving.

Coaching can be defined as a continuous process of providing people with feedback to enhance, maintain or improve their performance. The coach observes performance, shares knowledge and expertise and provides encouragement to assist those with whom they work to reach continuously higher levels of performance. Coaching enables individuals to develop their thinking and actions in response to differing situations. The coaching approach encourages learning, growth and teamwork all at the same time.

That is exactly the concept of Bridging the Gap Between Vision and Reality. The premise is that in today’s world, corporate management must no longer lead by lecture. They must lead by creating a team spirit in which both leaders and those being lead work together. Corporations must adopt a relational model in which everyone involved, through discussion and problem solving, takes ownership in the task at hand. They will all, then, become focused, creating an energetic forward-motion to achievement.

The overall objectives of this Christian coaching book is to enable individuals and groups of individuals (teams) to broaden, develop and motivate each other to achieve improvement in their performance. Focus tips on effective coaching follow:

• Make sure goals and objectives are clearly defined and reinforced.

• Provide opportunities for individuals and teams to further develop and improve their skills.

• Observe and identify ways to enhance both individual and team performance.

• Provide feedback on individual and team performance. Be specific when giving feedback. Do not just say that something is good or bad.

• Prepare people for difficult situations or new responsibilities by challenging them and making them leave their comfort zone of learning.

• Provide a supportive and non-threatening environment. Only allow constructive criticism in the classroom or work place.

• If it is necessary to provide discipline or sever criticism, it should be done in private.

• Be supportive, enthusiastic, and positive. The coach’s attitude is a predictor of the attitude of the team.

There are several different coaching strategies that can be used. The situation will determine which of the strategies is most appropriate. A few of the most common coaching strategies are described below:

• Instructing or retraining occurs when people have a new responsibility or are learning a new skill. At this time it is necessary to teach them new technical knowledge and skills that are needed for them to work and learn effectively.

• Directing or guiding is used when people have the necessary skills, but need to know how to apply their skills. The coach cannot do the transfer of knowledge for them, but can act as a guide along the way as those being coached are trying to apply skills that they have learned.

• Prompting is appropriate when individuals know what to do and how to do it, but they need support to accomplish the task. This is an ideal time to build their confidence and encourage them as they go.

Bridging the Gap Between Vision and Reality can be read as both a philosophical approach to coaching within the corporate world and as a practical guide to achieving that approach in a painless and successful way. A tool kit filled with both activities and assessments that can be utilized throughout the process of creating the needed coaching atmosphere is included at the end of each chapter. Understanding that individuals develop best with a combination of challenges and support, this book creates the challenges and supports that will facilitate development within the workforce, both professionally and personally, as both are important aspects for individual growth within an organization. With proactive exercises and thought-provoking questions to help the reader navigate the entire process of moving from failed leadership to awesome leadership, Bridging the Gap Between Vision and Reality is an essential tool for the modern work place.

Chapter One:

Christian Coaching

You will find yourself in service to your fellow man, your country, and your God.

—Mahatma Gandhi

Creating a coaching culture promotes organizational learning and advances healthy leadership in a relational, as opposed to a hierarchal, model. As a tool for organizational change, coaching facilitates those within an organization who are resistant to change by helping to uncover untapped human potential. Through coaching, leaders can clarify both their and the organization’s visions, beliefs and values, thereby stretching themselves as leaders. It is through coaching that leaders can begin to lead with a power and passion that can create an environment of progress and productivity.

Coaching can be defined as a continuous process of providing people with feedback to enhance, maintain or improve their performance. The coach observes performances, shares knowledge and expertise and provides encouragement to assist individuals in reaching continuously higher levels of performance. Coaching enables those being coached to develop both their thinking and their actions in response to differing situations. The coaching approach encourages learning, growth and teamwork all at the same time. The overall objective of coaching is to enable individuals and groups of individuals (teams) to broaden their thoughts and abilities, to develop their skills and to motivate each other to achieve improvement in their performances.

Christian coaching is no different. Christian coaching also requires the coach to observe, share and provide encouragement. This type of faith based coaching helps individuals to learn and to grow, to develop skills and to broaden both thoughts and abilities in an effort to reach the highest levels of performance possible. Christian coaching, however, is different in the aspect that Christian coaches are constantly working to follow the example of Christ as he led his disciples. Christian coaches keep foremost in their minds the compassion and kindness that Christ had as He taught His followers. As you work in the capacity of Christian coaching, you will also be leading by example. Those who follow you will one day be in a position of leadership themselves. As you coach others to uncover their potential, you will be enabling them to become effective leaders themselves.

Tips for Effective Coaching

• Clearly define and reinforce goals and objectives.

• Identify ways to enhance performance.

• Provide opportunities to develop and improve skills.

• Challenge individuals, forcing them to leave their comfort zone.

• Provide specific feedback on individual and team performance.

• Provide a supportive, non-threatening environment.

• Provide private discipline when necessary.

• Provide positive, enthusiastic modeling.

Clearly Define and Reinforce Goals and Objectives

One of the most important things you can do as you prepare to lead others forward is to very clearly define both the goals and objectives. Without this clear definition, any movement or growth will be random and without direction. Only by setting forth-specific objectives can the vision of the ultimate goal be firmly in sight. Whether the goals and objectives are personal or professional, their definition will bring clarity to the tasks ahead. Similarly, whether the goals and objectives are for an individual or a team,