Future Ratboy and the Invasion of the Nom Noms

By Jim Smith

From the bestselling and Roald Dahl Funny Prize-winning author of Barry Loser comes the sequel to the brilliant Future Ratboy and the Attack of the Killer Robot Grannies! Perfect for readers aged 7-10 years old and fans of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Tom Gates and Dennis the Menace.

When a bolt of lightning hit Colin Lamppost he was zapped millions of years into the future and turned into a half boy, half rat, half TV! With new superkeel powers and a real life sidekick in Not Bird, Future Ratboy was born.

In this new adventure, can Future Ratboy and Not Bird save Shnozville from the bitey little insects that are turning everyone into zombies? Will they defeat the evil Mr X? And how will they ever find their way home?

This laugh-out-loud, unlikely superhero comedy adventure will delight all those that enjoyed Tom Gates, Wimpy Kid, Captain Underpants and Jedi Academy.

Jim Smith is the keelest kids’ book author in the whole wide world amen. He graduated from art school with first class honours (the best you can get) and is the author of the award-winning and bestselling BARRY LOSER series: I am not a Loser, I am still not a Loser, I am sort of a Loser, I am so over being a Loser, Barry Loser and the Holiday of Doom, Barry Loser and the Case of the Crumpled Carton and Barry Loser Hates Half Term. He lives in London. He also designs cards and gifts under the name Waldo Pancake.

• Language: English
• Publisher: HarperCollins UK
• Release date: Jul 28, 2016
• ISBN: 9781780314358

Jim Smith

Jim Smith is the keelest kids’ book author in the whole wide world amen. He graduated from art school with first class honours (the best you can get) and went on to create the branding for a sweet little chain of coffee shops. He also designs cards and gifts under the name Waldo Pancake. Jim is the author of Roald Dahl Funny Prize-winning series, BARRY LOSER. Look out for his hilarious new series, Future Ratboy. Praise for BARRY LOSER

Book preview

First published in Great Britain 2016

by Jelly Pie an imprint of Egmont UK Ltd

The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN

Text and illustration copyright © Jim Smith 2016

The moral rights of the author-illustrator have been asserted.

First e-book edition 2016

ISBN 978 1 4052 6915 5

eISBN 978 1 7803 1435 8

www.futureratboy.com

www.egmont.co.uk

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Stay safe online. Any website addresses listed in this book are correct at the time of going to print. However, Egmont is not responsible for content hosted by third parties. Please be aware that online content can be subject to change and websites can contain content that is unsuitable for children. We advise that all children are supervised when using the internet.

CONTENTS

Cover

Copyright

Title Page

CHEESE-BLEURGHER MEAL DEAL

WHAT WAS WRITTEN ON THE FLOATY NOTE:

INSECTY RECTANGLE

FULL-STOP NOSE BLOB

CUP NOSE

WHAT I WAS GASPING ABOUT

WHO IS MR X?

THREE-HEADED DOG

TINDERBOX ALLEY

INSIDE THE SHOP

HARRY NO-HANDS

NINE HUNDRED BILLION POUNDS

TRIPPING OVER HOVER-POOS

GIANT ALIEN RAINDROP

ROBOT WAITER

WHEELIE THE WAITER

RUN FOR IT

NOT BIRD’S LUNCH

THE OLD PLAYGROUND

THE WISE OLD VENDING MACHINE

ANCIENT GIANT WORM TUNNELS

SOMETHING X BURGERY GOING ON

GIANT WORM

INSIDE THE GIANT WORM

MANHOLE COVER

JAMJAR WORKS IT OUT

JAMJAR EXPLAINS WHAT SHE’S WORKED OUT

OPERATION SHNOXVILLE

SEE-THROUGH WHEELIE

IT’S NOT THE STONK

NOT THAT EITHER

OK, THIS REALLY IS IT

ORDERING HEDGEHOG COLA

MR X ARRIVES

THE NOM NOM QUEEN

NO MORE NOM NOMS

COME BACK WHEELIE!

BACK IN BUNNY DELI

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

PRAISE FOR MY OTHER BOOKS

Back series promotional page

Probably the best thing about getting zapped millions of years into the future and turned into a superhero rat is that I don’t have to go to school any more. (Kids don’t go to school in the future.)

‘What’ve you got planned for today, kiddywinkles?’ said Bunny one mornkeels, peering out the window at Shnozville High Street.

I was sitting in Bunny Deli with my best friends Twoface, Jamjar and Splorg. Oh yeah, and my sidekick Not Bird too.

‘Oh not much, probably just gonna hang around here eating cheesebleurghers,’ said Splorg.

A cheesebleurgher is a cheeseburger that goes ‘BLEURGH!’ when you bite into it, by the way.

‘Good idea, Splorgy Baby!’ said Twoface, his two faces grinning. ‘Four Cheesebleurgher Meal Deals for me and my pals please, Malcolm!’ he shouted.

‘Coming right up!’ said Malcolm, the official Bunny Deli Smellnu, and four Cheesebleurgher Meal Deals fizzled to life in front of our eyes.

A Smellnu is a floating menu, invented by Jamjar. It lets you smell the things that’re on it, in case you didn’t know.

Oh yeah, and a Cheesebleurgher Meal Deal is a cheesebleurgher, a packet of zigzaggedy-shaped chips and a cup of whatever drink you were thinking of at the exact billisecond the meal fizzled to life.

Jamjar sniffed her drink.

‘YUCK, Hedgehog Cola! Why do I ALWAYS think of Hedgehog Cola?’ she said, throwing her cup towards Dennis, the official Bunny Deli bin.

‘Ooh, I’ll have that!’ said Bunny, shooting one of her ten arms out and catching the Hedgehog Cola before it landed in Dennis.

‘Couldn’t do me a favour could you, gang?’ she said, sipping on the drink, and we all nodded but didn’t say anything, because our mouths were full of cheesebleurghers.

‘Here’s a list with a few bits I need from the shops,’ she smiled, and a glowing yellow square with scribbly writing on it floated up from the counter and hovered next to her face.

‘Ah,