Thorn

By Emily Carrington

Hanlon is not the true threat, or at least not to Mike and Aidan’s happiness. From within their marriage, old arguments and insecurities rear their ugly heads. Can Mike and Aidan’s marriage survive mistrust and jealousy?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Changeling Press
• Release date: May 29, 2020

Book preview

jealousy?

Chapter One

The following Sunday, the second one in July, Aidan sat with Ashley, one of their foster daughters, at the breakfast table while she pushed around her food. So far she’d only done this on Sundays. Aidan couldn’t remember her scooching her food around any other time. She ate well the rest of the week, especially after a day of climbing the tree where he and Mike had said their apologies. Ashley and Candice had started going there every day. Not that Candice climbed, but she sat at the base and read while Ashley learned how to be adventurous. Candice always took Aidan’s cell phone so she could call for help if something happened. In fact Candice and Ashley had been out at the tree this morning. So why wasn’t Ashley starving?

Aidan did a quick check to make sure they were alone, listening to the nothing of a kitchen at rest. Mike and Candice were off getting dressed. Ash?

The scraping of her fork stilled. Yeah?

What’s wrong?

Nothing.

Why aren’t you eating?

How can you tell I’m not?

He explained. So, what’s up? Because this is becoming a Sunday habit. You not eating, I mean.

And you asking me what’s wrong when nothing is.

The rest of the week, you eat like a healthy, growing teenager. What’s different about Sunday? Aidan thought it was probably about church. Then again, maybe not. Maybe that was just his own prejudice because he was still unsure about the place Mike and Candice and Ashley went every week. Yes, it was full of people, but every place was full of people. Yes, it was pretentious, but what in the world wasn’t? In the end, shouldn’t he be just as cautious about Mike going to the store?

No. Because it’s a hateful, religious trap where they pretend to be righteous and accepting while they spit at you behind your back. And besides, they let Hanlon in there. It’s not safe for Mike because I know that bastard will be there.

Damn, but the first part of that was biased and prejudiced of him. He’d have to watch that or he’d drive a wedge between himself and Mike. Religion was one of those things people got divorced over.

Oh, calm down. You had mind-blowing sex just a few days ago, and the only reason you haven’t had any since is because you’ve both been busy. And he loves you. Aidan admitted he was being paranoid, but sometimes the world felt fragile to him. Rick the Dick Hanlon coming back had thrown the Earth off its axis a little. And even though Aidan and Mike had weathered that storm, it would be an ongoing disaster movie because Rick the Dick wasn’t going away. He’d keep cropping up in their lives, eroding Mike’s confidence in himself. Damn him anyway, that violating bastard.

Okay, okay, Ashley said. You don’t have to use the silent treatment to get me to talk.

Aidan realized he’d wandered far afield. I wasn’t, he confessed, believing in his heart that lying only led to misunderstandings. I was thinking… about church. That was what had started him down that road, wasn’t it? I can’t force you to talk. Nor would I want to. But you’re in pain. That much is obvious. I know you’ve really grown closer to Mike and Candice than to me, but I wanted you to know I’m a listening ear if you need one.

She made a noise that sounded indecisive. I don’t want Mike to know.

Aidan winced. I don’t keep secrets from my husband lightly. And most secrets are dangerous.

If I told you, you’d have to tell him?

If it’s something that he doesn’t need to know, and his ignorance wouldn’t hurt him, I’d keep your words private. But otherwise? I’ll absolutely tell him.

It’s not hurting me or anyone else, she said. I’m not suicidal and I’m not doing drugs. She paused. I’m not pregnant.

Aidan considered that. I’m glad for all of those things. And you’re right; I would have to share those with Mike. Can you tell me what it’s about without telling me the secret? I don’t want to betray your trust.

You’ve been straight up with me. She was quiet for several seconds. Then, finally, she said, It’s about… I don’t know. I’m not a lesbian or anything, but I’m…

This was the last thing he’d expected. But it was familiar territory. After he’d come out at school back in California, at least half a dozen fellow students had approached him to confess. This is something you and I can keep between us, he told her.

Because Mike wouldn’t understand?

No. Because whatever orientation you are doesn’t affect how he cares about you. Heck, it doesn’t influence how I care about you either, but if you need to get it off your chest or out in the open where we can explore together, I’m here to listen.

I’m not a guy-thing, she said.

Aidan was amused by that turn of phrase but kept his laughter inside.

But I’m not a girl either. I mean, I’m not trans, if I understand transgender correctly.

That sounded like almost a question. So he answered it. Being trans, understanding that you’re trans, can be difficult. But if you don’t feel as though you were born with the wrong parts physically, maybe you’re nonbinary.

What’s that?

I’m not entirely sure. But I think nonbinary is when you don’t want to conform to the binary equation of male or female. He thought of a singer who’d run that way. Shame he couldn’t think of the name they had gone by. Damn, but he couldn’t even think if they’d been born male or female. He cast that over his shoulder. Is that why you like being called Ash sometimes? Because it’s a gender-neutral name?

It’s not, she said. The only Ash I know is from Pokémon.

That was, in fact, the only Ash that Aidan knew, as well. "Okay, but it could be gender neutral. Many names started out one way and became another. Like Ashley, actually. There was George Ashley Wilkes or something like that in Gone With The Wind."

I just like Ash because… I like it.

That’s the best reason to adopt a nickname, Aidan told her honestly.

Nonbinary. She seemed to taste the word. Non meaning neither and binary meaning boy or girl.

She had the general idea.

Does that mean I have to change my, um, whatever-it’s-called?

Aidan raised an eyebrow. Since I don’t know what you mean, I can’t say for sure.

My, um, whether you call me ‘he’ or ‘she.’

Your pronoun, Aidan supplied. And that depends on you.

Are there other pronouns?

‘Ze’ is one. ‘S/he’ is another, although it sounds a lot like ‘she.’ Or ‘hir’ though that sounds like ‘her’. And there’s ‘they.’

I don’t like any of those.

That’s okay. You don’t have to choose one right now. Or ever. Just because you’re thinking about being nonbinary doesn’t mean you have to change anything about yourself.

I’d like to change my clothes. She sounded shy. Maybe if we go school clothes shopping, I could find… stuff that’s not so girly.

Definitely. Although you’ll probably have to explain some of what you’re feeling to Mike at that point. Why don’t you want to tell him? He’s just as gay as I am.

She giggled. That’s not why I wanted to tell you.

No?

Nope. You just… you seem to know everything about the LGBTQ community.

Aidan chuckled. "Not everything. Although I’m waiting for the day