Deadly: I Do (Not), #5

By Alice VL

Ally is infatuated with the elegant, successful and powerful Damon, the attorney Daniel introduced her to.

Still, she has fallen for Daniel, and unable to resist him when she temporarily moves in with him after the fiasco with Mark Warren.

But, Daniel is committed to Lucy, and successfully resists Ally's advances. Before she is able to submit to Damon, Michael causes havoc in her life, leaving her for dead on her bedroom floor.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Alice VL
• Release date: Sep 3, 2019
• ISBN: 9781393879152

Alice VL

Alice VL, born on the 1st May 1970 as Alice Johnstone, is a South African writer who was raised in Saldanha Bay, a quaint village off the West Coast of Southern Africa. She is the eldest daughter of a self-employed business man and her housewife mother. She has two sisters and one brother. Alice spent the majority of her childhood in her grandmother’s home who taught her to play the piano and the Melodica. During times spent with her beloved grandma Lulu, she developed a passionate love for reading and began her writing career writing casual poetry. After graduating high school, she enrolled for a secretarial diploma at the Technical College of Pretoria. Shortly after this, she enrolled for a degree in Child Psychology at the University Of Southern Africa. In later years, she completed her first year in BCom Accounting. Alice spent many years working as a recruitment consultant while secretly writing her stories. It was only when she began writing regularly for a local magazine, that she began to invest more of her time in her writing. Today, Alice lives with her husband and two adult children in a small town in Oudtshoorn in the Karoo in the Western Cape of South Africa. She is currently a self employed fitness instructor and full time writer.

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ALICE VL

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Copyright 2018

I DO (NOT)

Part 5

Deadly

A DEADLY EX

ALLY BRADSHAW CHECKING in!

This part of my story begins with my first night over at Daniel’s place. If you remember, my apartment has been cordoned off and was marked as a crime scene following the chaos with Mark Warren who tragically lost his life on my bedroom floor.

Yes. He was dirty, but it was still tragic. It shouldn’t have happened, but then again, it was him or Daniel and if I had to choose, it wouldn’t be Mark Warren.

I choose Daniel, over and over again.

I still feel rather guilty about Michael and Lily’s night in jail. But then again, maybe it was just what he needed since Michael has done a complete back-flip and is the sweetest he has been in years.

If you ask me, I think roughing it out for a night in prison did him a world of good. Just don’t tell anyone I said so, I’d deny it.

Or, so I thought.

I have no plans to return to my apartment and am hoping to find another one as soon as I can. In the meantime, it’s Daniel, Lucy and I, all under one damn roof.

That’s right, I have a feeling Lucy will be staying over a lot more after Daniel invited her to spend my first night at his place; the first night I am to spend under that same freaking roof.

I am irritated by that. Somehow, neither of us trust ourselves to be alone with each other.

Whatever. I want to respect Daniel’s feelings and I truly do want him to find his joy, but, I too want bliss and happiness and all such things. I know. I realized it too late, and yes, I missed my chance.

I just don’t want to hear about it. I don’t want to keep punishing myself for it, but more than anything, I want to cling to the hope I have that I might still have a chance with him.

Still. As much as I hate the idea of being under the same roof, secretly, I am happy to have a couple of days breathing in his space. I am torn between wanting to be there, and wanting to run so far away from his voice, his scent, his face, his hands and his touch.

I want to run away from my mistakes and pretend they never happened. Oh, and I want to hide my boring, drab self from Lucy woozy.

But, as much as I want to run, and as far as I want to run to, there is just too much going on at the moment in my life; over and above looking for a new apartment. My birthday is on Friday, and I go back to work the following Monday.

Actually, I initially considered spending my birthday weekend with my parents, but I am not too keen on showing my face in Water Hills just yet. Mostly, I don’t want to quite face Ryan again, yet. I know Bianca well enough to know that she will be making plans for my birthday and I’m looking forward to it; just not to turning thirty-two.

Then, we have Michael and Lily’s wedding to look forward to. I have not yet received an invitation, but I am hoping to talk Damon into being my date. Yes. The lawyer. We, Daniel and I, are seeing him on Monday morning, so let’s see if I can flirt shamelessly while hoping he falls for it, and twist his arm.

Daniel and I have statements to sign and paperwork to get through. I am still a little apprehensive about this whole thing with Mark, and I’d hate for Daniel to be charged with murder for defending me and saving my life.

Right now, I don’t trust the law much and am skeptical of all law enforcement officers. I shudder each time I am faced with the events of that night; each time I consider a reality in which Daniel could have died. This entire situation has left me unnerved and edgy.

Follow me on this, the journey that will change everything I thought I knew about myself. A journey I was never ready for and sure as hell, could never prepare for. I am faced with the ultimate betrayal of someone I have trusted for most of my life. I am left with not only fighting for my heart, my sanity and my soul, but my life.

I am crushed by the consequences of my actions and the sequence of events that took place as a result. In all honesty, I am not quite sure I could ever survive, or move on after being faced with my greatest fear, and it has nothing to do with Daniel.

I am feeling a little off’ish, so call me whatever you like.

Ally!

PART 1

MY FIRST NIGHT AT DANIEL’S place. *sigh*

I have only ever spent one night over at Daniel’s apartment, and that was the night I inadvertently fell asleep in his arms, the night before I was to leave for Water Hills, Constantia; before Ryan and before Mark. By accident. That night was impressed into the one single memory of Daniel that I cling to and regularly find myself drifting back to.

That was the moment I chose because as it turns out, he was the man I should have chosen. Daniel had offered me a lifetime of opportunities to choose him; so much more than I ever deserved to be given. ‘I miss that night.’

I began hankering at how uncomplicated and undemanding we were then. How much simpler my life was, and how I didn’t yet fall into any sort of feelings with Daniel. Or so I thought. Little did I know at the time that that night would turn into the one night that would continuously and heartlessly play out like an old movie reel each night I would fall asleep.

Each morning I would awake, I’d feel as though all the footprints that had led to Daniel was nothing more than a smudge in the mud.

Somehow, I know that I probably will never forget the finest details on his face, or the joy I felt being with him, my fireman. Even though I would never admit it, in hindsight, I fell in love with Daniel the moment he placed those coins in my hand at a corner café in Willow County Mall, the day my life ended, but the day it began again.

When I walked down the steps of the courthouse, the hollowness I felt inside was nothing more than a million pieces of glass that were ripping at my body and my soul. I was a failure. I had failed my marriage and myself.

Little was I to know that Daniel was about to enter my life and without noticing, he managed to save me from myself and remove each shard of glass that was lodged between my heart and my mind.

Naturally, I was a little apprehensive about accepting Daniel’s offer to spend the next few nights in his spare bedroom. I won’t lie, I didn’t like the idea that Lucy would be staying over on what I assumed to be the nights I would be spending there. I knew without a fraction of a doubt, that Daniel had deliberately invited her to save himself from me, and it hurt. The fact that he was convinced that he needed to be sheltered from me, crushed my heart and shattered my spirit.

As though that wasn’t bad enough, picturing exactly what would be going on in the bedroom next to mine, the guest bedroom; the one I would be spending a few nights in, was killing me. I just didn’t want to visualize any of it, but each time the thought crossed my mind, the visions my mind was concocting almost drove me insane.

Each moment Daniel and I had spent together had suddenly turned into agonizing recollections. With each moment I reflected on, a sharp, cutting sensation jabbed at my heart, slicing through me each time. Without intending to, and without noticing, my missed chance with Daniel was turning me into a broken mess.

The most intimate and beautiful moments Daniel and I shared, were the worst. They had become the moments my nightmares were made of. He was my refuge, and I didn’t see it.

Still, while identifying all the emotions that were leaving my heart in a hot mess, I understood where Daniel was coming from. I grasped it. We were like magnets drawn to each other physically, but what I never realized was that Daniel was a one-woman-man, desperate to unite not only in body, but in soul. Intimacy was an