The Joy of Being Jay: With God, Granny, Girlfriends and One Grand Ambition

By Ambalika .

The plan ends with him marrying the love of his life. Exactly what granny wants, ever since the astrologer confirmed to her that, ‘the girl has been found’. Just that, Jay has ridiculously lost the girl he has deeply loved. So, he is at a loss on how to end his grand plan. He’s got the back of Sheffie and Addie. But will Guvie, his most trusted friend and business partner, stand by him too? Amidst all these, murder strikes.
Will Jay finally conquer his dreams? Could the astrologer’s words be false? How can granny’s dream come true? Jay’s karma is closely following him, while all of this is being watched by God, as just another act in His spectacular show.

• Language: English
• Publisher: One Point Six Technologies Pvt Ltd
• Release date: Sep 13, 2019
• ISBN: 9789388942263

Ambalika .

Ambalika is a lazy writer and full time dreamer constantly fantasizing about life in outer space. She is exceptionally talented in hitting people with surprises, owing to some leftover karma from a past life lived as a meteoroid. A firm believer that life is best spent sky gazing, living off kebabs and watching kites fly, she made her writing debut with ‘You Adored, Me Ignored’. She is also the author of ‘The Joy of Being Jay’.

Book preview

Pre mumble

All characters in this book are, well, technically not fictitious. How can they be? I thought them out. While that doesn’t exactly make me God, you will agree that there is a little bit of me in everyone of them. And then, there are the little bits of everyone I have ever met, that has stuck to me. So, frankly speaking, there is a little bit of everyone of you and me, in each of the characters in this book.

This, I agree, can be a little scary. Rather, very scary. Depending on what I have decided to do with each of the characters, that is.

As you read, you are likely to feel a vague familiarity with a character and just as you are beginning to like him/her, I make it do something that annoys you. This can put my life at stake.

So… to be on the safest side….please be fully advised that,

All characters in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to any person(s) living or dead is, simply a conspiracy of the Universe and has nothing to do with me.

There!

1 A TROUBLESOME MEMORY

‘What happened?’

‘He was cycling’

‘Ok’

‘Then he bumped off a speed breaker’

‘Ah!’

‘And, then, went ka-put!’

‘Hmm’

‘It was all very simple’

‘Umm?’

‘I mean, the dying bit…you see, he just stopped breathing’, the voice tapered off.

Senior monk, Brother Chirastananda had endured his intern for a while now, and anyone could tell that he was not impressed by the fellow. Now, with this cheerful observation of a serious situation, the boy was not improving his standing either. Brother ji was miffed. He had every reason to.

He was, after all, the Second in Command to Chitragupt, The Registrar of the Gateway to Heaven and currently, the In-charge of The Book of Confirmed & Probable Entrants, that contained the names of the mortals who were, well, confirmed and likely to arrive at The Gate (The book was complete with Names, Dates, Address Details, Pin Code et cetera). Chitragupt had spent an eternity working meticulously to build up a fool proof system for recording the arrivals at The Gate, where, after a thorough checking, everyone could await their turn to ride the bull in the company of Yama, a hurly burly mustachioed man with a mace in one hand. But now, Chitragupt had gone away to meditate at the feet of Brahma. So, it had fallen on Bro. Chirastananda to carry on the work, with the help of his intern.

‘It will help you live up to your name, Brother ji’, Chitragupt had said while transferring his work. He was also subtly pointing out that the monk was yet to arrive at the pinnacle of attaining bliss through endurance. Those supreme vows of final renunciation were still pending a last round of approval. It served as a gentle reminder, that between the two of them, Brother ji was stuck at being Bro. Not-So-Much-Of-A-Bliss-Attainer-Through-Endurance.

‘These interns!’, Brother ji noted mentally. He would have preferred to say it aloud, actually. But then he realized that, unlike mere mortals, he could now neither swear nor scold as he pleased. He had to display endurance. At the moment though, Brother ji was ready to do anything but endure.

‘I trust you have checked his life details’, he said instead, to the chap.

‘To the T!’

Brother ji cringed at that over confidence.

‘Let’s hope the Guardian Angels will not come complaining to us this time’ he said.

The last time, they had got the name wrong, and Mata Hridaylekha, the Guardian Angel in charge of the concerned mortal had threatened to cast a spell of doom on them. She was well known for being fiercely protective of her earthly wards and a little wild too. For instance, once, when Chitragupt had notified her about the upcoming arrival of one of her protected ones, she responded by throwing a shoe at him.

So, Brother ji had learnt the lesson at that time itself.

‘No worries, sir!’ the intern expressed his agreement to the concern.

‘What did you say his name is?’

‘Jay’

‘Jai?’

‘Jay. Jay Rastogi.’

Brother ji took The Book from the intern and went through the page. Jay Rastogi- the name sounded familiar. Though when he said it, his mind beamed to his consciousness, the face of a certain Jai Chand Tyrewala admitted at the ICU of Mumbai’s Lilavati Hospital and currently in coma, due to a heart attack. He went through the page wishing that his worst fear would not come true. But as he reached the bottom of the page, it did. It clearly stated that it was Jai Chand Tyrewala’s time to arrive at The Gate.

He looked at his intern with as much calmness as possible in the face of this newly surfaced, horrific discovery. But that awkward silence gave him away. ‘I...I… so...sor..ry sir’, mumbled the intern. ‘The bull is rea... it is re..reach-ing’, the colour was fast fading from his face.

Brother ji felt a tug of panic. ‘Stay calm’, he reminded himself. Quickly lifting his eyes to the middle of his eyebrows, he offered a prayer invoking the bull. Then, apologizing to it, requested that it go back to its master, Yama. After that he opened his eyes and asked, ‘What’s the status down there?’

‘Life force withdrawing.’

‘Restart now, quickly. Hurry!’

‘Aye, aye sir!’

Brother ji wished the fellow would not ‘aye, aye’ but rather pay attention to his work.

‘How is it now?’

‘Fine but he now has a spot in the brain.’

‘What nonsense!’ Brother ji thought to himself.

‘I suspect a hysteresis of memory due to opposing oxygen flow.’

‘His hat’, Bro ji almost said it aloud before realizing how it would only take him closer to losing all of his endurance.

‘Let me see’.

Brother ji took a close look at The Situation inside Jay Rastogi’s brain. Precious minutes passed by before he declared, ‘It’s a long hidden memory that is coming alive, my boy’.

‘Oh! What does that mean?’

‘It means, a long forgotten incident will rule his life from now on.’

‘Will it cause him trouble?’

‘It will depend on whether he decides to regard it as trouble.’

‘What would that mean, my good sir?’

‘This memory is related to a former girlfriend. So…’

‘I get it, sir!’

Bro ji felt annoyed at being cut short.

‘Sir!’

‘Hmm?’

‘Is there no solution to this?’

‘Not unless he gets hit on his head again, in keeping with his karma.’

‘Sir!!!’

‘Life, my boy, happens.’

2 THE MEMORY PLAYS SPOILSPORT

The cause of Bro. Not-So-Much-Of-A-Bliss-Attainer-Through-Endurance's concern and his intern's folly, Jay Rastogi, found himself waking up to life at the Ramakrishna Missionary Hospital, three blocks away from his own home at Jeevan Nagar, Lucknow.

His first thought was, of course, on how he ended up on that bed. It was a rather logical line of thinking because the last thing he could remember was riding his cycle as part of his morning exercise. He had no memory of skidding over a speed breaker in his excitement to overtake a passing by newspaper hawker. Consequently, he also did not remember flying off the seat of the cycle to fall headlong on the pavement. That he had slipped into a concussion was also news to him. Frankly, the entire episode surprised him.

After all, as the scion of the Calcutta Bake House, how could he fall victim to such a 'tuchhu' instance of road rage? He believed, he was cut out for something much tougher and more glamorous. Like, escaping from a gang of nefarious Martians who were trying to kidnap him. Though, he could never say why Martians or similar non-earthly entities would want to abduct him.

But he was very clear that, what had happened to him was 'tuchhu' stuff. Pedestrian. Yes, that is what it was and had he been awake at that moment, this is what he would have called it. But these Skull-Meets-The-Road instances can turn into pretty intimate affairs, with the skull baring it all for everyone to see. In fact, he himself had made it to the hospital barely breathing, after being discovered by a conscientious morning walker. At the hospital, the staff at the Emergency Unit were about to declare him 'Dead-On-Arrival', when to their surprise they found his pulse getting stronger.

It was a most perplexing matter. But given that it had saved them from beginning the day by having to deal with death, they all rejoiced. So happy were they, that, they called up his home and notified them of the mishap, having found the number from the business cards in his wallet while searching for his identity. In course of this, they also found the details of Rimjhim Gupta, his girlfriend, written on the back of a photo of hers kept in the wallet. So, very thoughtfully, they made a call to her as well. (Next time, Jay would take care not to keep such information within easy reach of the public. For now, he would keep his fingers crossed on, no one asking about her, least of all Daadi, who has long suspected the existence of a girlfriend in his life and who might just decide that this is a wonderful opportunity to meet her!)

Now, thanks to all these Good Samaritan acts, Jay found himself in the company of women. By his bed stood the doctor on duty, the nurse, his granny, mother, sister and Rimjhim. That was a lot of women to wake up to after meeting with a 'tuchhu' road accident. They all seemed to be looking at him expectedly. Jay wanted to live up to the moment. So, after thinking briefly for a moment, he said, ‘Hi!’

‘He is speaking! He is speaking!’ cried the nurse in excitement. Jay felt he had heightened the expectation. He felt obliged to do better. 'Maa, where is dad?’, he asked. At this, Mrs. Suman Rastogi rushed forward to hug her son and cradling his head in her arms, told him that his father was waiting outside. 'Don’t think he is angry, beta. He is just...', she said as tears rolled off her eyes. 'It’s ok, Maa. I know dad.'

'Mrs. Rastogi, I see that your son...his head.. he... is perfectly fine! He can go home.'

The doctor was full of congratulatory cheer in her voice as she witnessed this emotional reunion of her patient with the family.

'We only have you to thank.'

'Oh, it was actually nothing. Really, we didn’t do much... really.'

'You are being humble. That is why I always told Jay to become a doctor. But this boy...'

'Maa!'

'Ok, baba! Now let me go and settle the bills. You get to the car with Daadi.’

Once Mrs. Rastogi went out of the room, the older woman took charge of the situation. As the matriarch of the Rastogi household, she dispensed a generous dose of affection and pampering on her grandchildren. Kissing him on his forehead, she enquired, 'How are you feeling, beta?'

'Feeling weird, daadi. Just like the time Rina's dada ji had slapped me', said Jay. Jasmine, his sister giggled at that. But the colour from Rimjhim's face changed to a dark shade.

'Bhaiyya, you still remember that after all these years?' asked Jasmine.

'Not easy to forget what your girlfriend’s granddad did to you, you know!' said Jay and instantly regretted it.

The next thing he saw was Rimjhim looking at him in fury, her eyes brimming with tears. In a matter of seconds, she quietly got up and went out of the room. The fact that she and Jay had never publicly acknowledged being together helped her as she made that abrupt exit. Though, it did catch granny’s attention. With her experience of a life time, she had sensed the tension unwittingly created by her grandson.

'It’s ok, mera baccha! All will be well soon', she comforted, without giving much away. Though in her heart, she could feel a million thrills dance. So, the astrologer was right, after all- the girl has been found!

As this earthly drama played out on the stage of the hospital, the intern asked Bro. Not-So-Much-Of-A-Bliss-Attainer-Through-Endurance, 'Please tell me it will'. He had tears in his eyes, ready to flow down his rosy cheeks. Stories of