Stuff Every Groom Should Know

By Eric San Juan

Perfect for engagement parties or a groomsman’s gift, this little black book has all the skills a guy needs to get from “yes!” to “I do.”

Fun, easy, and stress-free chapters on wedding planning for dudes include:

·How to Budget for a Wedding
·How to Choose the Best Best Man
·How to Pick the Perfect Tux
·How to Write Your Own Vows
·How to Survive Your Bachelor Party

• Language: English
• Publisher: Quirk Books
• Release date: Apr 21, 2015
• ISBN: 9781594747984

Book preview

Author

Introduction:

So You’re Getting Married

Somehow, it’s happened. You found someone who can tolerate your idiosyncrasies. Someone who laughs with you, not at you … usually. Someone who, inexplicably, has found it in her heart to love you.

Yeah, she’s probably just as surprised about it as you are.

But for now she’s still caught up in whatever delusion has taken hold of her, so you’re going to do the smart thing. You’re going to marry her before she comes to her senses.

You’re making the right choice. She’s a keeper. She puts up with you, after all.

You’re also making the right choice reading this book. Any woman worth marrying is worth marrying well. She’s already given you so much, and you’re about to spend the rest of your lives together. So we’re here for one reason and one reason only: to help ensure that everything from proposal to honeymoon goes as smoothly as possible.

And make no mistake, the advice in this book does not apply only to male/female marriages. For the sake of convenience we’ve stuck with those pronouns, but we suspect you’ll find plenty of helpful advice here no matter the mix of your marriage.

Being engaged is a (usually) short but intense period full of important decisions and relationship-building moments. People are going to treat you differently. They’ll have all manner of wisdom, both good and bad, to share—including this book. As for you, well, this is the first step in changing your entire life, isn’t it? So best to get it right.

But don’t worry, Groom-to-Be. Read. Observe. Learn. And when people ask, Do you really think you’re ready for all this? repeat after me: I do.

Engagement Stuff

Choosing the Ring

You’ve found the perfect mate, now it’s time to find the perfect ring. That little band is more than a sinkhole for a chunk of your salary—it’s a symbol of your love. Here are some tips for making your quest a success.

•  Set a budget. Before you start, figure out what you’re willing and able to spend. As of 2013, the average engagement ring cost about $6,000. If you can afford that much, great. But it’s easy to find a suitable ring for much less on the retail market or even in the resale or handmade marketplace (see Other Points to Consider, this page). Tell the jeweler your ideal range to help narrow your choices and avoid the it’s perfect but it costs too much blues.

•  There is no right amount. The diamond and wedding industry will say that you must spend two months’ salary on a ring—nonsense. Pick the right ring for your future wife, not one based on an arbitrary number. And yes, prices are negotiable. Don’t be afraid to haggle.

•  Know the Four Cs. Carat, color, clarity, and cut are the four factors that determine a jewel’s quality. Clarity is how clear a stone is, color is its shade, cut is a stone’s proportions and brilliance, and carat is its size and weight. You may have to sacrific one C in favor of the others in order to fit your wallet.

•  Understand her style. If your bride-to-be wears understated white gold, then a huge rock on a yellow band is probably wrong. If she likes her jewelry flashy, a subdued ring will likely disappoint. Try to match your choice with what she already wears and, clearly, prefers.

•  Stalk her social media channels. See those rings she’s pinning to her Pinterest board? They’re aimed at you, dummy.

•  Know her ring size. Obviously, asking will spoil the surprise, so try to peek in her jewelry box. Failing that, buy larger rather than smaller. It’s easier to size down than up.

•  Keep calm and move on. Don’t settle for a ring if you think the ring is still out there. Keep hunting and pony up your heard-earned money only when you know she’ll be happy with what you’ve bought.

Other Points to Consider

•  It doesn’t have to be a diamond … or even have a gemstone at all. The idea of diamonds as the be-all-end-all engagement ring rock is a decades-old marketing ploy. (Not to mention that the diamond industry is invovled with some ugly politics, which your future spouse may not wish to support.) Modern synthetic stones are a great alternative—just make sure she knows it’s not real. Other types of gems can make a bold statement (think Princess Diana and the Duchess of Cambridge with that iconic sapphire). Find out whether a particular gemstone has special meaning for her and create a ring with that as the centerpiece. Also popular are complex geometric designs in which the manipulation of the metal is the showstopper.

•  Go handmade … or antique. Many couples are opting for handmade engagement rings and bands. These one-of-a-kind works of art can be purchased from a local craftsperson or just as easily on the Web; visit the online marketplace Etsy and search for rings in their Weddings section. For a unique vintage look, shop antiques shops and estate sales. Just be sure your bride-to-be is okay with a used ring.

•  To heirloom … or not. The choice to pass down an heirloom can be deeply personal and establish a closer connection between your fiancée and your family. Honoring this tradition is

Reviews for Stuff Every Groom Should Know

[cheetosrapper · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Loved the simplicity and humor of this book. Having been a groom, my wife and I had some fun with this little book with things I did right and some things I did not-so-right. I even let my brother-in-law who plans to get married later this year read the book. Good stuff for any groom.

[angela9vaughn · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I actually received this right after my daughter announced her engagement. So, I quickly read through it and passed it on to my future son-in-law. The advice has been perfect for his young mind and heart. It has kept him grounded and he now understands that my daughter likes the understated and simple beauty of things, not the flashy over the top stuff. The wedding planning has gone pretty smooth after the reading of this book, so who can argue with that??

[bakersfieldbarbara · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book is a book every groom or prospective groom should have. It is written so well that no groom could wonder what to do, because the author Eric San Juan has covered every aspect for the groom's comfort and knowledge.Engagement stuff is covered first and many points are considered. Wedding Planning Stuff is the next chapter and again covered in detail. Wedding Day Stuff, even covering the Wedding Night and encouragement for yuor married life. The final chapter is the After Wedding Stuff, such as the honeymoon and essential marriage coutesies. Every man ready to pop the question should buy this book, becaue it covers every detail needed. Women have their female friends and their mother. Grooms now have a book to help them walk through to their dream wedding.

[ginsusamurai · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Both entertaining and pertinent, this pocket sized groom's companion has it all! From proposal through marriage, this book has tongue-in-cheek but savvy information that anyone who is walking down the aisle (or thinking about it) should read. As a recently engaged bride, I received this book at just the right time to appreciate it (in the midst of planning my own wedding). This book has a ton of practical advice presented in organized and easily referenced sections, whether you are reading it from beginning to end or just jumping to the parts you need. A lot of this was not new information, however it is a compilation of some of the BEST information and advice that I've found, all in one handy book. I highly recommend this as a gift, or guide, for any would-be groom. I especially love that the author specifies that this can also apply to male/male relationship, though they use male and female pronouns for clarity throughout. It is a fabulous way to get the ball rolling, and its light-hearted tone reminds the reader that in the end, its all a celebration of love!

[cynthialesiuk · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I was lucky enough to win this book in Early Reviewers. My son is getting married this summer, and I can't think of a more perfect guide to give him. It appears to have been written by a man, thus looses the stuffy air some female written guides can have when it comes to etiquette. There is a casual, fun, yet knowledgable "I've been there" vibe to the book. As a more "mature" reader who is trying to hold on to the last vestigages of manners and grace in a text at the dinner table world, I especially enjoyed pointing out this chapter to my prospective bride and groom: "How to Meet and Greet Strangers". It has great advice on thanking people for their attendance, then gently extracating yourself and moving on. I really can't think of a better gift to give the brand new groom. Highly recommend!

[flamingrosedrakon · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Yep I am a female and nowhere close to being a groom but I was intrigued by this little book, which is about the size of your palm but packed full of goodies. And I am so jealous the guys have such a good book like this out and laying about :) First of all I think it is probably safe to say that even though it is leaning towards grooms in general this book can be read by anyone. In fact I would even recommend it for a bride-to-be just since there is so much good and wise advice within the book for marriage and honeymoon planning that it will help her to be able to get some control of the perils that may be found or how to just relax while planning up on this great event. Eric San Juan does a great job in keeping the book clean and clear enough that it isn't heavy lecturing reading. There is also a lightheartedness to the pages while a brotherly tone that makes for fast reading since it is like he is in the same room and sharing with you, which in a sense you can say he is, but at a pace that doesn't seem like it's hurried. And finally as a female I did some good giggles while I know that at the diner they were probably wondering what I was reading at the diner. Seems like I was in good company when reading the dedication.... **Received this book as part of the Members Giveaway at Librarything.com for free in exchange for a review**

[davemac_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book was a delight. First, the format is very handy. The book's size makes it very portable and the quality of the binding and pages seems very good. Second, the book is made up of short chapters covering a variety of issues important to grooms-to-be. I can't think of anything that was left out that needed to be covered. Third, the information was comprehensive and pertinent - practical as well as informative. But mostly, it was simply a delight to read. Written in a lighthearted style, interspersed with humor, it shared useful information in a way that was easy to take. Any groom-to-be should find here the information he needs to make the ttransition "from 'yes!' to 'I do'"!

[tlilly93 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This well written, witty, and helpful guide was a very good read! The amount of men I know who have struggled for countless hours surfing the web trying to figure out the perfect ring to buy, where and how to propose, and other important wedding to-dos is astronomical. This handy little book is a complete guide to everything that a man could ever need to or want to know about wedding planning! I like that it prepares a groom for everything from proposing to the questions people will ask you to budgeting. I would recommend this to anyone who is even thinking about getting married.