God is Cruel: Where Else Can I Go? The Why of Suffering

By S Deffinger

Why do we question God’s will? What do we believe about God and his relationship with us? How have others survived tragedy in their lives? Where can we go for help?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson
• Release date: Sep 8, 2020
• ISBN: 9781400332748

Book preview

God Is Cruel

God Is Cruel

The Why of Suffering

Where Else Can I Go?

Steve Deffinger

© 2020 Steve Deffinger

God Is Cruel

The Why of Suffering

Where Else Can I Go?

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other—except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Elm Hill, an imprint of Thomas Nelson. Elm Hill and Thomas Nelson are registered trademarks of HarperCollins Christian Publishing, Inc.

Elm Hill titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fund-raising, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail [e-mail].

King James Bible (KJV) (Public Domain)

Gone But Not Forgotten, Rev. Richard Abney, No Copyright, Use by permission of Independent Outreach, Danville, Il. 61832

Where Is God When It Hurts?, Phillip Yancy, Copyright 2002, Use by permission of Harper Mass Market

Holiness, The False and The True, H.A. Ironside Copyright 1953 Use by permission of Loizeaux Brothers/Crossreach.Net

Leading The Way, Why Does God Allow Suffering?, Dr. Michael Youseff broadcast, Copyright 2019 Use by permission

Why Does God Allow Suffering, Brian Tubbs, Copyright 2011, Martyn Loyd-Jones, Use by permission of Crossway

When Your World Falls Apart, Dr. David Jeremiah, Copyright 2000, Use by permission of Word Publishing

Preparing for Adolescence and Love Must Be Tough, Dr. James Dobson, Copyright 1985 Use by permission of Tyndale House

In Touch Charles Stanley Broadcast, Why Does God Allow Suffering?, Copyright 2009, Use by permission

A Place of Healing, Joni Eareckson Tada, Copyright 2010, Use by permission of David C. Cook Publishing

The Power of Suffering, John MacArthur, Copyright 2011, Use by permission of David C. Cook Publishing

Right From Wrong, Josh McDowell, Copyright 1994, Use by permission of Thomas Nelson

Waiting On God, Wayne Stiles, Copyright 2015, Use by permission of Baker Books 2016

Shadowlands Movie Copyright 1993, Use by permission HBO Savoy 81

Living On The Ragged Edge, Chuck Swindoll, Copyright 1985 Use by permission of Word Books

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

ISBN 978-1-400332731 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-400332748 (eBook)

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In Loving Memory of My Wife

Patricia Anne Deffinger

June 8, 1943 - July 1, 2014

Table of Contents

Introduction

Preface

Chapter One: Who Is This God?

Chapter Two: Are My Beliefs Faulty?

Chapter Three: So, Is God Really Cruel?

Chapter Four: The God-Reliant

Chapter Five: The Self-Reliant

Chapter Six: Where Do I Stand?

Chapter Seven: How Do I Cope?

Chapter Eight: What Can I Expect?

Chapter Nine: Your Choice

Chapter Ten: What About The Church?

Conclusion

Addendum: Hurting to Help

My Perspective on Physical Pain

Quotes, Credits and Permissions

Bibliography / Printed Resources

Spiritual Resources

About the Author

My God, My God,

why hast thou forsaken me?

Psalms 22:1 (KJV)

Introduction

Why me ? What could I possibly have done to deserve this? It just doesn’t make sense . It’s so unfair . Does God even care? If there is a God, where is He when these things happen? I THOUGHT GOD WAS A LOVING GOD.

Have I missed your question? In times like this when your world is crumbling around you, I am sure you have many. The list of possible tragedies is almost endless. Yours may be the worst you could imagine. I personally was shaken back to reality when I read a booklet by Richard Abney, Gone But Not Forgotten.(a) This work descries the absolute worst tragedy, the loss of a child. I, along with you, recognize it isn’t natural for a child to die before their parents. You may not have lost a child but your tragedy and pain is still there.

When we speak of pain, we are obviously covering a multitude of possibilities. The most obvious difference is between emotional, mental and pain of a physical nature. Most of this book will address the pain associated with the mental or emotional side. Not because the physical aspect is not as important, but, I, not being a physician, can offer little help in this area. And I truly regret the fact.

I strongly encourage you to continue to read on as it is well known that a negative mental attitude has shown that your attitude directly affects your physical well-being. I have gained some insight recently, having experienced pain that I do not believe I have ever experienced.

If you fail to find any help in my words, I understand. I am not some quack offering health and wealth. I am offering a real world examination of the subject. I will later speak of an individual that lives with that level of pain on a daily basis. I mention this to offer hope to you who are in this situation. Again, I am not minimizing your pain or frustration. I cannot possibly feel your personal battle with physical pain and I will not say I can. That would be cruel in itself. I still believe my insight and others can be of help.

I do not speak as one untouched by tragedy, as I lost my wife to Alzheimer’s after more than ten years in a nursing facility, and I am still feeling the pain. My journey is probably not dissimilar to most who go through this calamity. With the best of intentions, we all promise our mate we will never allow them to go into a nursing home.

We never imagine the nightmare following when they develop an illness such as Alzheimer’s. Simple personal care soon becomes a struggle just to pursue daily tasks. Daily care, one used to take for granted is now an hour-long battle, exposing them and ourselves to personal injury. Our loved one, who was graced with a kind spirited personality, soon becomes hostile and suspicious. Activities they have done all their life are now too risky. The highly valued privilege of driving is taken from them, bringing on indignation and resentment.

One of the most gut wrenching experiences a, caregiver can undergo, is the final drive to the hospital as a step to placing their loved one in a nursing facility. They know very well they are taking from their loved one all contact with the familiar. The caretakers ask themselves, Do I have the right?

I know it is of little help to think there are millions like us. Maybe the fact even amplifies your frustration