Weak and Wounded, Sick and Sore: Stories of Pity, Love, and Power

By Margo Martin Rhodes

The forgiveness and healing I have received is available to all who seek it regardless of the number of your transgressions or the severity of them.

“Though I feared sharing what might make me an outcast among family, friends, and colleagues, I am finally bringing my baby, whose life I took, into the open, and I will share her with the world. I’m prepared for whatever disappointment or human judgment comes upon me. This captive has been set free, and she’s wearing a garment of praise!”

It took Margo Martin Rhodes more than thirty years to acknowledge, even to herself, much less to anyone else, that she had taken the life of her own offspring, a seed which God had entrusted to her body and care. The delayed understanding ultimately led her to process why so many other parts of her life had been managed in ungodly and unproductive ways—crises of her spirit and soul were inevitable. She shares, in Weak and Wounded, Sick and Sore: Stories of Pity, Love, and Power, evidence of “hope for binding the brokenhearted, comfort for all who mourn, provision for those who grieve in Zion, freedom from darkness for the captives, the oil of joy for anointing, a garment of praise instead of despair, and the year of the Lord’s favor.”

Margo knows firsthand that the restoration proclaimed by Isaiah is available to all, and she now feels called to help others plagued by sin and regret to claim these promises: Instead of your shame, you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance… that everlasting joy will be yours. (Isaiah 61:7, NIV)

• Language: English
• Publisher: TouchPoint Faith
• Release date: Jul 31, 2020
• ISBN: 1952816114

Book preview

Preface

P

erhaps a memoir by someone completely unmemorable seems unnecessary, even a burden on the marketplace. However, while celebrities and others are flooding social media and tabloids with #youknowme, meaning that they are proud they’ve had an abortion and are living proof that it’s no big deal, or even that their success is due, in part, to their having aborted their babies, it becomes even more important to flood social media, news, bookstores, libraries, churches, hearts, and minds with stories of abortion, truth, aftermath, and restoration. My story, and all our stories of abortion, are big deals, but they are forgivable deals, and God will bring us into the fullness of His grace just for the asking… and a change of heart. Not only that, it doesn’t even have to be a long, drawn out, difficult process, though many of us needlessly punish ourselves with such craziness. I did just that for over thirty years! How long have you denied yourself healing?

Whether you are a Christian or have an entirely different belief system, if you are paralyzed by dark secrets, if you are a post abortive mother or father, if you are considering how to manage an unplanned pregnancy or are counseling someone who is, if you are a parent who is navigating the waters between high expectations for your child and helping them know they can come to you concerning any challenge or downfall, this book may be for you. If an abortion, an act of adultery, a season of unforgiveness, years of sheer exhaustion, rebellion, unbelief, or anything else has impaired you as a spouse, parent, adult child, sibling, friend, or employee and caused you to make ongoing decisions you’ve grown to regret, this book may be for you. You see, what God has done for me, He will do for anyone who asks. The process will not always look the same, the answers will not always be the same, but the result is always the same: healing and restoration. Following the publishing of the first edition, I received note after note from those who said my story was also their story, or their sister’s story, or their friend’s story, or their mother’s story. Even so, this is not only for women. Fathers, brothers, male friends, counselors, pastors, and aborted baby boys are all characters in my story and in their own stories.

As I have literally broken every one of the Ten Commandments, and then made up a few more so I could break those as well, there is not a single thing you could have done that would put you in a more seemingly unforgiveable position than the one in which I found myself. Yet God’s grace came even before I asked for it. It started with Him planting information I needed directly in my path and ended with Him providing undeniable cleansing, hope, and true joy.

Please indulge me by reading the hymn texts scattered throughout the book. My mind operates like one big game of association. You say something, and I’ll match it to a hymn text, singing it softly as an involuntary reflex. The hymns, whether an old gospel hymn, a great hymn of the church, or a more modern hymn, particularly the bolded letters, are pertinent to the story and to life. The definitions at the end of each chapter contain one or two legitimate definitions, and one or two that I created to recap a word from the title of the chapter. I hope this explanation helps.

When I was blessed with this opportunity to present a second edition, I counted it as a meaningful fresh start for these reasons:

There were a few details and dates I learned were not quite right, and I have been able to correct these. Disclaimer: There may be others that I am unaware of.

Though my conclusion on whether infants who die go to heaven has not changed, I released, at least for the most part, the sentimentality and bitterness that drove my earlier writing on that subject and relied more on scripture, theological writings, and pastoral conversations to substantiate my conclusion. I confess that I may not have researched with an entirely open mind, but I was careful to consult respected theologians and pastors. Of course, there are other respected theologians and pastors who have reached other conclusions, and you will reach your own. I have shared my mine—this time more carefully.

There were a few things, as I read them after publication, that didn’t sound like I intended. I’m thankful for a chance to revise those excerpts.

There was a tiny, obscure passage that haunted me in terms of its authenticity. I began to worry that I had adopted it as my own, rather than creating it, initially in speech, and then in writing. I scoured books I had read, trying to see if I could find anything similar, and I did not, but I changed it anyway, and with relief.

I was satisfied with the ending of the first edition, but God showed up with an even sweeter ending to this edition.

The details of my life, one at the time, have no particular meaning, but when they are all woven together as only God can do, mine is a story worth telling, and so is yours. I am not a certified counselor, and I encourage you to seek counseling or therapy as needed while you engage in overcoming your past or charting your future, but it is my pleasure to answer questions based on my experience, pray for you, point you to some extremely helpful resources, and encourage you. In addition, I have partnered in ministry with a lady you will love. Bree Maresca-Kramer Parks is a National Relationship Expert and therapist to many, so you and I are blessed to have her on board. More importantly, she is a believer in The Great Physician, and she, like I, has experienced His healing, mercy, and compassion.

Please visit our website at www.friendswithmargoandbree.org. Bree and I may be reached at [e-mail] regarding our stories or yours. One or both of us will respond as quickly as possible. You are also invited to follow us on social media:

Facebook:       Friends with Margo and Bree: God’s Grace over Post

Abortive Regret

Instagram: @friendswithmargoandbree

We are pleased to speak to your group, in person, in writing, or via technology, concerning your work with women, men, and families in the throes of an unplanned pregnancy, with those who are recovering from past abortions, and with those who are working through the details of having chosen life. Just email us! Where we find the weak and the wounded, the sick and the sore, we also find stories of God’s pity, love, and power.

Margo Martin Rhodes

Chapter 1: The Fall

I

n 2013, I found myself in a spiritual crisis. It was not the type of crisis wherein one doubts God or realizes he or she has fallen short of His glory; it was the type of crisis wherein he or she finally cares. The laundry list of offenses I had committed knowing full well they were wrong is too long to recount in this memoir, and unnecessary at that, though a chosen few have risen to the top. But the offense I had not identified as an actual offense for over thirty years was the one that brought me to my knees. Was it wrong? Was it a sin? Were the circumstances mitigating? I had not really asked those questions nor sought their answers. It was much easier to bury the incident and move through life as if it had never happened… well… never happened except that it led to serial indiscretions and decades of secrets.

Just as the shrouded offense had affected all those around me, so, too, did the late recognition of it. In the fourteenth chapter of Paul’s letter to the Romans (Holy Bible), he warns us against putting any stumbling block or obstacle in our brother’s way. Are you kidding me? My whole life had been a stumbling block! Once I recognized the gravity of this, how it affected so many other people in so many other areas of my life, I found that not only was I now dealing with my own grievous sin, but I was also dealing with the fact that I had caused others to stumble; I had made a mockery of the faith I held dear; I had been a hypocrite of the highest degree; I had been given places of leadership in the Christian community; and I had been allowed to flourish among the faithful. There just wasn’t a way to work through the guilt and feelings of unworthiness and fraudulence until, at last, and what should have been at first, I took the most basic of biblical actions; I acknowledged, repented, and accepted forgiveness.

It truly is as easy as one, two, three, if you’ll let it be. For me, though, each of these numbers had a lengthy outline attached to it. Taking advantage of the simplicity was not consistent with my feverish state of mind. I had failed to avail myself of reliable information for so long that I needed to know more, and I needed to know details that only God could give me, and He did. He did! It took from 1981 to 2013 for all of this to shake out. In 2014, I wrote about what had unfolded and then put it away. Over the next three years, I sensed that I needed to return to my writing, and I discerned God would use it to help someone, but I was terrified. The last thing I wanted was to relive any of the moments of truth or be pulled back into crisis.

Finally, in 2017, the call overtook the fear. I retrieved the old computer on which I had originally processed my story, rebooted it (and was sort of glad, sort of worried when it took a long time for the screen to light up), transferred my 2014 writings into a newer computer, and allowed my story to culminate. Thank You, Jesus, for holding my hand, for calming my heart, for encouraging my soul, and for guiding my thoughts.

May the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart

Be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. (Ps. 19:14, niv)

Come, Ye Sinners, Poor and Needy

Come, ye sinners, poor and needy, weak and wounded, sick and sore,

Jesus, ready, stands to save you, full of pity, love, and pow’r.

REFRAIN

I will arise and go to Jesus, He will embrace me in His arms;

In the arms of my dear Savior, O there are ten thousand charms.

Come, ye thirsty, come, and welcome, God’s free bounty glorify;

True belief and true repentance, ev’ry grace that brings you nigh.

Come, ye weary, heavy-laden, lost and ruined by the fall;

If you tarry till you’re better, you will never come at all.

Let not conscience make you linger, nor of fitness fondly dream;

All the fitness He requireth is to feel your need of Him.¹

fall [fawl] verb

to drop or descend under the force of gravity, as to a lower place through loss or lack of support²

that which makes us weak and wounded, sick and sore

why we need a Savior, all of us, all of the time

Chapter 2: Harriet Pearl

I

have tried to figure out the exact date of Harriet’s death, not that it really matters. Staring at old calendars, doing online research, and making a few phone calls have not produced any results. It was sometime in late February of 1981, and that will have to satisfy. Thirty-two years later, when I tried to reconstruct those weeks surrounding her death, I thought I remembered certain things, yet those certain things didn’t line up with other certain things, so my memories are unreliable. I can share what I do know or what I think I know. Locations, first names, nicknames, and familial names will reveal true identities if you are close to this story. If you find yourself in these pages, it is with no ill will. If there are factual errors, it is due to poor memory or unintended misinformation, not attempts to deceive or entertain.

Harriet Pearl [HAIR-ee-ut purl] noun

a female given name, form of Harry³

rules the home or keeper of the hearth⁴

a precious jewel of