Sixth-Grade Alien

By Bruce Coville and Glen Mullaly

Fellow sixth graders, an alien and a human, become unlikely friends in this hilarious, fast-paced, and accessible first book in the sci-fi series Sixth-Grade Alien from the bestselling author of Aliens Ate My Homework, Bruce Coville.

Sixth grade can be tough. But starting sixth grade as the only alien on the planet seems impossible.

When Pleskit Meenom, the son of the first alien ambassador to earth, finds out he’s going to public school, he’s less than thrilled. Especially after what happened on their last planet.

Tim Tompkins, on the other hand, couldn’t be more excited to meet a real alien—even if some of his classmates are warier of the first purple kid in their class. Tim is determined to befriend Pleskit and secretly hopes he may have finally found someone who feels as out of place as he does.

But when angry mobs, cultural differences, and intergalactic plots get in the way, their friendship—and maybe even the planet—could be in danger.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Aladdin
• Release date: Aug 4, 2020
• ISBN: 9781534464681

Bruce Coville

BRUCE COVILLE is the author of over 100 books for children and young adults, including the international bestseller My Teacher is an Alien, the Unicorn Chronicles series, and the much-beloved Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher. His work has appeared in a dozen languages and won children's choice awards in a dozen states. Before becoming a full time writer Bruce was a teacher, a toymaker, a magazine editor, a gravedigger, and a cookware salesman. He is also the creator of Full Cast Audio, an audiobook company devoted to producing full cast, unabridged recordings of material for family listening and has produced over a hundred audiobooks, directing and/or acting in most of them. Bruce lives in Syracuse, New York, with his wife, illustrator and author Katherine Coville.

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

[TIM]

MS. WEINTRAUB DROPS A BOMBSHELL

I just wanted to have a friend. The part about almost getting killed and kind of saving the world happened by accident.

It’s not like I didn’t have any friends. I may be kind of nerdy, but I get along with people okay, if you don’t count Jordan Lynch. But I wanted a best friend, someone who was my total bud, someone I could really talk to.

Linnsy Vanderhof, who lives in the apartment two floors up, used to be my best friend. We’ve been in the same class since kindergarten, but she doesn’t like to be seen with me much these days because, socially speaking, she’s much higher on the food chain than I am.

Actually, Linnsy is just plain higher than me, since she’s sort of the class Amazon, taller and tougher than any of the other girls, and most of the boys, too. That’s one reason I’m glad we grew up together; it makes her more tolerant of me, which means she’s less likely to punch me really hard. Mostly what I get is a sock on the bicep when she thinks I’ve done something stupid. She calls this a little punchie-wunchie, as a reminder not to be such a dorkie-workie. She doesn’t hit me all that hard, but sometimes I worry that a few thousand punchie-wunchies—which is what I figure I’ll have had by the time we’re seniors—will turn my bicep into mush.

Which it sort of is anyway.

Anyway, I’m used to Linnsy. The real royal pain in my butt is Jordan Lynch, who’s only been in our class for two years, ever since he got kicked out of the fancy private school where he used to go. Great system, huh? The kid is so bad they can’t pay a school to take him, so we get him. It’s too bad, because if you could pay a school to take him, I’d start a magazine drive or something to cover the costs.

Jordan sits in the back row, three desks behind me. Linnsy sits two desks over. Our teacher, Ms. Weintraub, sits at the front of the room—or would, if she were ever sitting, which she’s mostly not, since she’s almost always up and doing something. I really like her. She makes things interesting.

Also, she’s kind of pretty.

I made the mistake of saying that to Linnsy once. (I still get to talk to her because our mothers take turns driving us to school in the morning.) She gave me a little punchie-wunchie and said, Tim, beneath that dorky exterior beats the heart of someone from another world.

That was me. Tim Tompkins, sixth-grade alien, weirdest kid in the class.

Until Pleskit.

School had only been going for a week—just long enough for me to have serious doubts about whether I was going to live through the year—when Ms. Weintraub called us together for an important announcement.

I struggled out of the headlock Jordan had me in and started for my desk. I figured the important announcement was probably about lunch money or eraser duty or something, but it was a good excuse to get away from Jordan.

Once we had settled down, Ms. Weintraub said, I’m sure you all followed the big news this summer.

You mean about the aliens? I cried.

Linnsy groaned, and I could tell by the look on her face that if I was sitting closer to her I’d be getting a little punchie-wunchie right then. But I couldn’t help myself. Ever since the first time I saw Close Encounters of the Third Kind (I’ve watched it forty-seven times in all), I’ve been waiting for aliens to contact us.

So when the president announced in July that Earth had received a message from the Interplanetary Trading Federation, I had been one of the happiest kids in the world. I figured it was just about the biggest news in history. So what else could Ms. Weintraub have been thinking of?

I guess the others didn’t feel the same way. At least, Jordan didn’t. Space Boy strikes again, he snickered, using one of his three favorite nicknames for me. (The other two are Nerdbutt and Dootbrain.)

Actually, Tim is right, said Ms. Weintraub, smiling slightly. "The announcement is about the aliens."

They didn’t declare war, did they? asked Melissa Farkis. She sounded like she was about to cry. But then, Melissa usually sounded like she was about to cry.

Ms. Weintraub laughed. No, Melissa. The aliens haven’t done anything to disprove their claim that they’re friendly.

I could scarcely keep myself in my seat. So what’s the announcement?

Ms. Weintraub looked serious. "As you know, the aliens are establishing a single embassy for the whole planet, which many countries have been competing to host. The aliens have finally made their decision. They’re going to settle here."

Are we going to Washington to see them? I asked eagerly.

Ms. Weintraub frowned at me. "Tim, please control yourself. And you misunderstand me. The aliens are not settling in Washington. Everyone was afraid the aliens would choose the United States, and there was some jealousy about that. So to keep it a worldwide mission, the aliens have decided to settle in this country—but not in the capital."

I tried to keep quiet, but I couldn’t. "You don’t mean they’re going to settle here… as in here?"

I was so excited my voice squeaked on the last word.

That’s exactly what I mean, Tim. Syracuse is going to be host city for the alien embassy. But that’s not all.

I grabbed the edge of my desk. What could possibly top this news?

The alien ambassador, Meenom Ventrah, is bringing his son with him.

I let go of my desk and pushed on my eyeballs to keep them from bugging out of my head.

Mr. Ventrah—I guess you’d call him ‘Mister,’ though I don’t know for sure—wants his son, Pleskit, to go to a public school. The government tried to talk him out of it, but he is very insistent. He says it is important for our peoples to get to know each other.

So what public school will this alien kid be going to? Melissa asked nervously.

Ms. Weintraub smiled. "This one. And not just this school. The announcement I wanted to make is that the world’s first alien student is going to be a member of our class."

Yesssss! I cried, leaping out of my seat.

Tim, sit down! This is not going to be easy.

Why not? asked Linnsy.

Well, for one thing, it’s going to focus a lot of attention on us. We’ll have reporters hounding us to get in here. They’ll be contacting your homes, too. Mr. Grand is having meetings with your parents today to discuss the situation. Some of you may be removed from the class.

What? I cried.

Tim, raise your hand before speaking, or I’m going to send you out of the room.

I clamped my hands over my mouth. Getting sent out now would be horrible. (And getting pulled out permanently would probably kill me.)

Good idea, said Ms. Weintraub, when she saw what I was doing. Now, removals will be strictly up to your parents. Some of them might not want the media attention. Others might fear that Pleskit will carry dangerous germs.

Eeeuw! cried Melissa. Could that be true?

I waited for Ms. Weintraub to throw her out, but she didn’t. She just said, Well, if it were true, we’d be as likely to infect Pleskit as he would be to infect us. But the aliens and our own government have both certified that there is no chance of it happening.

Michael Wu raised his hand. Won’t the aliens think it’s awfully rude if someone leaves the class?

Ms. Weintraub shrugged. I suspect they’ve studied us enough to know that not everyone will welcome this situation.

That’s for sure, I thought, remembering the horrible things I had heard some people saying on the news.

So when does this kid get here? asked Jordan—without raising his hand, I might add.

Ms. Weintraub took a deep breath. She looked around the room, making eye contact with each one of us. Then, in a soft voice, she said, Our new student will be joining us… tomorrow.

That was when I fell off my chair.

CHAPTER 2

[PLESKIT]

A LETTER

Reviews for Sixth-Grade Alien

[mkfs-354306 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Having seen the film years and years (and years and years) ago, I was never all that inclined to read the novel. Eventually, after many mentions of the novel's literary references and of Humbert Humbert as the quintessential unreliable narrator, and thanks in no small part to the entertaining analysis by Sparky Sweets, PhD, I decided to give it a go.

The book is nothing like the movie. The book is not the paedophile smut that its detractors (many of whom never made it past the first hundred pages) claim. This novel is good -- perhaps even required -- reading, and if you're worried about getting strung up by the National Legion of Decency, then read it unobtrusively on a Kindle (next up: Lady Chatterly's Lover).

Many a better reviewer than I have written countless words on this novel, so I'll keep it brief. This is a novel about the dark side of the male lover: jealous, controlling, mindlessly pursuing his own pleasure at the expense of his partner. The age of Lolita makes her all the more subject to being controlled by Humbert, much as the inveterate drunkenness of older Rita likewise leaves her dependent on him. We have here, in Humbert, a tyrant and a misanthrope, a man who enjoys belittling and abusing others, and who wields what little power he can acquire as zealously as the most small-minded bureaucrat. Other people and their feelings do not matter to Humbert; they exist only for his dark amusement, and when the world works against him he sobs like a newly-toyless child.

Humbert is, of course, erudite and charming -- another in a long line of literary psychopaths. In writing his memoirs, he turns his charm on the reader, a smooth tongue attesting to his good intentions and the natural simplicity of his desires. Yet his own depiction of the events betrays him, demonstrating a Bluebeardish lack of concern for others, and ultimately sabotaging the sympathy he is trying to inspire.

[david_brown_851454 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

A difficult book to read. The beauty of Nabokov's mastery of language is a distinct counterpoint to the dark subject matter. One finds oneself caught between disgust at the pedophiliac protagonist, and sorrow for him as he is unwilling to seek change for the condition he attributes to a childhood event. He alternates between an acceptance of damnation for himself, to shamelessly indulging his fantasies, to lamenting and recognizing the shame in his actions in the end. The descriptions can leave one nauseated at times, and I won't even discuss the obvious imagery of the the weapon that isn't used until the end, and then not effectively. The articulate European encounter with post-war America is poignant, but an undercurrent to the primary plot.

If you are looking for an example of the writer's craft, I would advise you to consider this book. Otherwise, it would be difficult to recommend.

[leslie398 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Boy this was a much more difficult book to read than I had remembered! It wasn't just that the topic is distasteful but Nabokov via Humbert Humbert uses quite a lot of arcane vocabulary (as well as a liberal sprinkling of French).

[norabelle414 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Absolute trash that is very well written. I felt like more and more of a creep as I read the book, and the plot and character development (outside of the main character) left a lot to be desired. The language, however, is out of this world. It reads like one long poem.

[baehre-1 · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

Vulgär, ätzend und bösartig. Ein sehr unangenehmes, uncharmantes Buch.

[sonorandreamer-1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

This was a difficult book to read. Somehow it makes the sexual abuse of children not seem as horrific as it is. I read it many years ago and still feel negatively effected by it. Just knowing that there are many men in the world like this makes me hate the culture we live in even more.

[coralsiren · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I enjoyed reading Lolita. I liked the writing style and the language, the characters felt real, and I can understand why everyone loves this book so much. However, I was a bit disappointed with the ending.

[paulharryallen · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A beautifully ambivalent story which did throw up a few choice looks on the tube. The cover shown is the closest I could get as I have the original film tie-in copy.

[ifionlyhada · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This was a hard book to read. You really have to dive into an insane mind. I found most interresting the section at the end where Nabokov defends his novel as a piece of fiction. It is a piece of fiction and as that I think everyone should have the right to read it, if they want.

[andrewharris_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

One of my favourite books of all time. The style is simply amazing, and I am about to read it for the 4th time

[knightlight777 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

The kind of book you are always getting around to read, but put off, forget, or otherwise. Aside from the replusive nature of the plot a most enjoyable read. Nabakov and obvious genius of literature, the way with words and imagination. What struck me most in the plot was HH's revenge motive against the perpatrator of reprehensible conduct of which he himself was most guilty.

[magadri-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book is superbly written. I can't even begin to describe how beautiful Nabokov's writing is. This story is haunting and disturbing, to say the least. I was a little confused by the ending, but still, I loved this book and will probably visit it again (perhaps the ending will make more sense this time around).

[kayla.krantz · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

I have no words for this. I gave it a chance because it's a classic but it was so wrong. The audiobook made it worse, I think. Not recommended.

[pandareads · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I felt the second half of Lolita was a bit drawn out and too long, but overall the writing is beautiful and Nabokov paints a picture of an absolutely abhor-able man.

[abirdman_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This cornerstone book challenges, and finally affirms, much of the moral underpinning of twentieth century American society. Entertaining and challenging, it left me feeling vaguely perverse and creepy by the end. It is Nabokov's genius to create a homicidal pedophile who is appealing and almost attractive to the reader, and an innocent victim who is wilful, manipulative, and not unattractive. I would be hard-pressed to feel literate in our times without having read this book.

[vampyredhead · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

The most disgusting, vile book I have ever read. I forced myself to read this because they say it is a classic. It is only about child molestation.

[bahiyya_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Wow. Just...Wow.

[acheekymonkey_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

One of the finest openings in fiction: "Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita."Excellent read.

[datrappert · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Lolita is beautifully written and darkly comic, with some unforgettable scenes. It is hard, though, to get away from the rather disgusting central subject matter. That Nabakov makes it clear she wasn't a virgin to begin with still doesn't make the story go down easy. This is probably something I need to re-read.

[maryevelynls · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

No reason to give a specific review on this well written and famously reviewed piece of Russian Lit. I enjoyed it. YES! It is a dark story with dark subject matter AND Humbert Humbert is a monster but Nabokov managed to insert humor where one would never suspect. Humor, horror, mystery. What more could one ask for in a book? THE END.

[tanyatomato · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Eloquent and beautifully written. I would repeat some of the passages out loud if only to will my brain to allow me to speak like that everyday. I know I missed tons of references, and could delve further to understand more of the underlying subtext.

[malrubius · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Great writing but it was kind of a slog to get through. Not sure if I really cared what happened at the end. The end is sort of an anti-climax.

[thebadpandey · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

One of my all-time favorites... Sheer brilliance and courage. Led me to read a bunch of Nabakov - but none of the others got close to this.

[dianeofsevilla · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Lovely, eerie, discomforting.

[humbert_humbert_2 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Nabakov unleashes all of his lyrical genius on this novel. Starting with one of the most memorable introductions ever, this is one of the few books I recommend to everyone. While most cringe at the subject matter, Nabokov keeps this tome tasteful and beautiful.

[ragwaine · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Strange, touching and twisted.

[stipe168 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Beautifully written story about two lovers taking advantage of the other. Nabokov's prose/poetry is soultaking.

[jonbeckett_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I was surprised by Lolita - more by what it didn't contain than what it did. Quite why it has had such controversy surround it for so long is anybody's guess.It doesn't deserve it's reputation at all - by modern standards it is incredibly tame, and only really touches on the subject it is known for.

[ms7claudia · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book was both disturbing and fascinating. I found it ironic how at the end of the book he is revealed as a weak, insecure man with no control which is almost the opposite of how he came across from the beginning of the book.

[jhedlund_7 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

In a word - WOW. Mind-bending. Beyond belief. You must read it to believe it is possible to write a perfect book (with regard to writing, not to subject matter!). A non-native English speaker, no less! I will not soon recover.