Emotions,: Diary of a Victim: It's a men's world, #2

By Swit La Pound

Emotions. Diary of a victim is the second book in the Series 'It's a Men's World'.  The piece is an intensely eye- opening narration, that delves into a world known, yet unknown to many. It is a courageous invite, by the Author, on an emotional journey into the undeniable, yet unobserved link between Abuse, Mental health and behavioral changes.  Torn right from the heart and diary of a victim, the book dissects the emotions experienced by survivors and victims of abuse, the omissions by families and authorities to support and defend and the importance of same. Drawing a clear path, on how these emotions rummaged through the author's life, from the instance of abuse, magnifying each follow up emotion, reaction and response, and juxtaposing it to the mental and behavioral implications resultant. The book is a plight, to the world at large, from a victim, on behalf of all victims whose voices are silenced, to stop abuse against women and children, and a simultaneous encouragement for those who have been broken - "It is not an easy road, but the sun will shine on your mornings again- stay strong!" A cautionary not from me to you!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Swit La Pound
• Release date: Jun 29, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393860563

Book preview

EMOTIONS

AN INTENSELY EYE-OPENING PIECE THAT OPENS A WORLD KNOWN, YET, UNKNOWN TO MANY.

BY

SWIT LA POUND

CONTENTS

› INTRO

Music – The emotion

Pain: Physical Pain

Pain: Emotional pain - (Sexual Abuse)

Repulsion and Attraction

Envy

Infatuation

Anger, Temper and Violence

Regret

Depression and Suicide.

Hopelessness and Despair

Reminiscing

Love

Joy and Happiness

•  Dedication Lyrics

•  Author’s Note

•  Acknowledgements

SWIT LA POUND

‘’LIKE AN IRON FANGED jaguar-lion, this world is ever ready, jaws ajar, hate filled and bloodthirsty for the blood of the innocent, the fickle, the frail, the kind, the good-hearted, the hopeless, THE FEMININE AND YOUNG’’. Be vigilant my fair lady, be strong and take my hand in yours as I do yours in mine.

SWIT LA POUND

EMOTIONS,: DIARY OF A VICTIM

For my daughter:

My love for you surpasses all emotions this universe has to offer. You made me complete and gave me a reason to laugh, smile and hope every day. I LOVE YOU FOREVER. I hope my story not only helps others, but especially you. You are a diamond.

LOVE xxx

MUM.

INTRO

WELL, I GUESS THE FIRST step is to break down this whole thing and bring you aboard. It pains and breaks my being living in a world drowning in its own falsity as women and children are abused, discarded, driven to loss of mind, killed and murdered in their own homes, all the while, surrounded by the rest of us. Gruesomely slaughtered and tortured in the name of culture, muti, revenge, lust, non-acceptance of rejection and all other demented, inhumane and unforgivable reasons.

Every decade, year, month, week, day, hour, down to the second, some woman or child, or both are fighting and begging for their safety, for their sanity, for their world and their very life, as some coward with a drugged mind full of hate, fury or whatever evil harbors within, towers over them, as if it is a show of strength, to destroy in a matter of minutes!!

Take South Africa, for instance, as a micro reflection of actual statistics. The CESVI (Participatory Foundation and NGO Italy) after conducting a survey on this very subject published;

"South Africa is the country with the highest number of cases of violence against women in the world. On average, every six hours. However, violence against women is not part of African culture, but the result of degradation due to poverty and the lack of public services and infrastructure.

In South Africa 40% of men have beaten their partners and one in four has committed sexual crimes. Even if only 2% leads to charges being laid, violence against women is a growing phenomenon and as many as one woman in four has undergone beatings or abuse".

Meanwhile, voices of those that dare survive, with that fighting spirit, are muffled and suffocated in pools of victim scorn, rejection, misunderstanding, insults, and mainly BLAME. Most cases end as tragedies unsolved and unresolved, as victims and their families are burdened to carry the scars, memory and pain, while perpetrators roam free and continue to add to their victims list, and the rest of us glorify them with our silence and doubt, and pretend we are not human.

This is not fiction. Neither is it made up nor just a story. This is a cry, a statement, a beckoning. Heck, these are passages from the prickly pages of the diary of a survivor’s bleeding heart.

A plight on behalf of all who have been befallen by these and other untold mishaps of this nature, and have had to live through the ever- present memories and ripple effects, for as long as memory serves.

This is a courageous trip, delving into the inner being of the writer and many others on the same rollercoaster.

It is a journey through emotions I had become a slave to, and allowed to run my life, emanating from past experiences, abuses and wrongs done to me, unresolved. It is like bungee jumping right into the chaotic emotional whirlwind that I was.

These are true events documented and summarized by writer per her discretion.

It is more of a ride along trip you are embarking on. Riding on my words, as we go through this emotional journey, hoping to bring hope to someone and inspire them to go on.

This is a cautionary note from me to you!

Emotions are described as

strong feelings deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others..

(Wikipedia).

Our experiences and circumstances cannot affect who we are, nor make us what we become. We can choose to draw strength and caution from them, or be broken by same.

Not an easy decision to make, when one is alone, but TOGETHERWECAN.

This is the conversation!!! The gist of it all.

Music – THE EMOTION

THE OXFORD DICTIONARY defines music as a;

‘’vocal or instrumental sounds (or both) combined in such a way as to produce beauty of form, harmony, and expression of emotion’’.

These are untampered grounds, my first time attempting to open the pages of my life, experiences and character for public scrutiny. Tears moisturizing every painful memory as it translates from my heart and mind to ink on paper, only to be wiped dry by suns reflected by those fond and memorable moments that follow.

Things might seem confusing at the beginning, but they will get clearer with the pages, hopefully, as you get a wrap around the emotions (and what I personally consider so) that made up, well, ME. How they came to so define me.

To start off, dive with me into the world of music. Happy, beautiful, healing world, an escape from the chaotic, destructive and devastating days of our lives.

FROM THE ONSET, YOU should know I love music, art and expression of self through same. I love listening to music!! I find utmost jubilation in writing music. Singing.

Now, singing just whisks me away to the world of the unknown, where there is no bounds or prohibitions to expression of whichever sort. Words run free as the wind, and as liberal as the birds that soar on it. No persecutions for being yourself.

Most times, weird as it might sound, or maybe not, I find myself literary thinking in song, and I sing most of the day off, in my head. Music is everywhere. It is as if it was meant to envelop us and take us away to worlds unknown. The shoulders ever present when you need to break down, get on your feet, forget everything or just get lost in your own world.

I know you are probably questioning whose socks I have been smelling, and probably telling me, amidst headshakes and chuckles, that music is not an emotion. It is an art or entertainment.

That is where you are wrong, in my perspective. The definition of an emotion, per Oxford Dictionary, basically summarizes emotions as;

strong feelings deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others..

Music is one of the strongest and constant ‘’feelings’’ I have, daily and in varying circumstances and forms. It is not only an expression of what is within. For me, it is what is within.

For clarity, say I get in an argument with you, and say you throw mean phrases my way, of a harmful and personal nature. Well, my mind and being has a tendency of automatically switching to music to block out those words and guard against the eruption of follow up emotions, which are highly toxic and quickly volatile.

Always waiting to spring into existence, in those instances where words are not kept in check.

MUSIC ACTS AS A FIREWALL, keeping harmful content at bay, blurring out its meaning and sense, replacing it with blended