Confines of a Broken Mind

By D. R. Halladay

After spending months sitting at a neighborhood bar, I began to write. Random musings, thought experiments, whatever struck my fancy in the moment. These words are my take on the moments I live in. Questions I struggle to answer, memories I try to recall, balance I fight to maintain. Within this book are some of my darkest thoughts, expressed here to blaze a path towards Understanding.

• Language: English
• Publisher: D. R. Halladay
• Release date: Jun 15, 2020
• ISBN: 9780463053065

Book preview

Confines of a Broken Mind

D. R. Halladay

Copyright © 2020

Douglas Halladay

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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Table of Contents

Start

Midpoint

End

A casual slide, an instant recognition. Of course this wasn’t the first day I found myself on the stool tucked into the corner. For through sheer number of hours this particular spot had been declared mine. A broad spectrum of regulars dot along, as is usually the case. Friendly conversation fills the bar, the owner casually engaging.

Stories all around. Coming, and going, quicker than the wind. Dancing through the unseen waves. Swaying in the ebb & flow of vibrations. We are One. Yet, we struggle to acknowledge, let alone accept this most fundamental reality. How can We be One when the other exists? Simply put, other does not exist. What?!

But, of course it does! Those others and their savage barbarism are historical fact! Or, have those writers of history merely warped the actual events to twist the minds of children into fostering Hatred of other? Will the others attack? Will they rape and pillage the whole known world? These are the ‘facts’ that are instilled in our Youth. Fear the other for it is only a matter of when they will come for yours.

So, here I am. Finding myself sitting in a hole of my own digging. Trapped still in a Blue Dream? Who am I to judge myself? To Judge at all? Is that the Power of Christ? To be free of needing to Judge in this mortal realm? Than what is the power of Judging? How many shows ingrain us to be judged? For clothes/fashion? for talent? for dancing? for EATING?? Showcasing scripted Defeat over what should be uplifting for all.

We are lost. Guided into the Dark by those seeking power over mind and body. We are slaves, never to taste of freedom. Born into the Pen, we cannot see the walls made for US to stay in, not keep enemies out. Who cares? Docile slaves who believe they are already the freest people in the World. Statistics stripping human experience into pure numbers. Leaving them bereft of empathy.

I seek words of Truth. Words of a Freedom not known on Earth.

Freedom to BE!

I seek words of Truth. Have I found them? Are they lost on my enslaved mind? Am I Blind to the answers I seek? Can there be Truth in this World? Is there not Hope? Is there not Faith? I certainly have no Faith. Never have I believed with the comfort of Faith. Yet, here I sit. Alive, not well, but alive nonetheless. Miraculously? Should I be dead? How does one come back from Death? If anything is possible, why not this? Has the Way been paved? Trail has been broken, surely. I must find the Way. Or, make it? Pathfinder, or Trailblazer?

Both?

Find the connections. Expand the connections. Reveal the connections.

Implicate the causes. Leave the conclusions. Formulate the response. Know the audience. Play to the crowd. Recognize short comings. Commit to improvement. Share the Pain in order to lessen the Burden. Stand Firm. Accept we are not all to follow a single way. That we must take a bit here, a part there, and tailor the Way into something of our own creation. Such that we can know Our True Way.

This is what I must take from Life: the knowledge that we can find our way, even alone, and lost in the Dark; One can find Peace at simply Being. Being One.

One with Life.

Life is an experience meant to culminate in Death, after finding a way to honestly express oneself in the Truth. There is no question of Life after Death; for Death is but a moment, a screen transition. Who are we to question this design? Self-Righteous animals too long gone from the Eternal Bliss of Truth & Knowledge. So, how does one reconcile this seemingly unknowable answer? There is no simple solution, rather it is not simple until the solution manifests. What is the solution? The Way? Dafa? How many people have chosen Money? Profit? Material Extravagance? Voiding themselves of any Spirituality, enslaving themselves to idols, and proven False Doctrine. All because they will not question their own existence, or their mortality?

Trusting oneself to recognize Truth, and to follow the hardships of being a believer. Persecution has challenged millions to question their Truth. Has prevented millions from a willingness to listen to the Truth.

What is Truth? Is it Universal Love? Abrahamic Doctrine? Falun Gong? Or, do they all share a common thread that leads back to the Truth? There must be a commonality. Can there only be One True Way? No wonder the world must burn for it to become reality.

What constitutes a heretic? Who will be judge, jury, and executioner? Will we do it to ourselves, to each other? Or, will an outside force reveal itself to pave the Way? History could shed light, if we were to objectively look at