Dropout

By R. Cane

Novellette: Dropout - When things got tough, Nessa got going. Almost on a whim, mostly hoping to clear her mind, she strikes out to escape her guilt. Island life far, far away suits, it turns out. Until an important fixture in her past falls ill, and she returns just a quick as she left. Given her speedy, silent departure, and long absence, going back is not so simple. Feeling compelled despite the chilly reception, she fights to work through her twisty inner feelings - about the past, herself, and where she belongs. With a little help from unexpected corners, a lot of humor, even more pluck, our girl pushes toward a future she isn’t sure of, but maybe can’t escape - in this trek toward hope through desperation - with serious, moody, surprising, funny moments along the way. Queer romantic overtones.

Sample from Dropout:

Dominic is across from me, scowling. “I don’t understand what you are waiting for.”

Taken aback, I square my shoulders, spit something out. “Things happen, kid. It’s a lot to back track now.”
“You’re drunk.”

Waving my glass, “sometimes you need to take the edge off.”

Frowning, “looks like you took down a mountain,” glancing at the nearly empty bottle on the table. Looking back at me, “no one here knows you are alive but me, what’s your plan?”

This kid is what, fifteen now? “You’re taking it pretty well,” I suggest confidently.

The boy shakes his head, “but my mother is going to fall over, you’ll be lucky if she doesn’t have a heart attack on the spot.”

“Oh come on,” flipping a hand in the air, “when did you get so dramatic!”

“She thinks you are dead, no worse, she thinks you killed yourself!”

Shrugging, frustrated, “that’s not my fault!”

Giving me a moment to think it over, he says, “it kinda is.” ...

• Language: English
• Publisher: R. Cane
• Release date: Mar 31, 2020
• ISBN: 9780463660010

R. Cane

Finding the human condition and our antics endlessly fascinating, I tend to write ‘slice of life’ pieces about moments, situations, interactions, personalities – most often with some amount of humor or irony, always with wonder. The subject or subjects are frequently lgbtq, w/w, to the degree it matters, since people are people, stories are stories.

Book preview

Dropout

by R. Cane

Published by R. Cane

Copyright 2020 R. Cane, including art, images

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Dropout

Dominic is across from me, scowling. I don’t understand what you are waiting for.

Taken aback, I square my shoulders, spit something out. Things happen, kid. It’s a lot to back track now.

You’re drunk.

Waving my glass, sometimes you need to take the edge off.

Frowning, looks like you took down a mountain, glancing at the nearly empty bottle on the table. Looking back at me, no one here knows you are alive but me, what’s your plan?

This kid is what, fifteen now? You’re taking it pretty well, I suggest confidently.

The boy shakes his head, but my mother is going to fall over, you’ll be lucky if she doesn’t have a heart attack on the spot.

Oh come on, flipping a hand in the air, when did you get so dramatic!

She thinks you are dead, no worse, she thinks you killed yourself!

Shrugging, frustrated, that’s not my fault!

Giving me a moment to think it over, he says, it kinda is.

True they were my words, I wrote those letters during that brutal day, but I didn’t plan for them to fall into the ocean and most improbably, get found and delivered – for anyone to see them! Dominic, I try, it wasn’t what I meant to happen. And I had no idea!

Sighing, but for almost eight years all your friends, and your partner, thought you were dead… How are you going to just show up?

Trying to coax something, anything, out of my soggy brain, I eventually snap my fingers, Miriam. She’s a trooper, so dry, calm. Then she can kind of warn the others.

You mean take the heat off of you?

No! Tilting my head, goddam it you always think the worst of me! Pausing, I mumble, I mean, I guess you have a right to, but still! Swig of whiskey, but I only meant she could help me figure out how to break the ice that I’m back. Or at least warn them something crazy is about to happen. Take the edge off at least. She’s very practical, she’ll have some ideas.

Maybe just buy them whiskey, he snarks. A beat later, and why are you back?

This kid is tough, not giving an iota. I plop down, feeling tired. I heard her mother is sick, quietly.

Yes, he nods. Only you’ve been gone for over seven years, missed a lot of difficult days, why now?

Looking shocked, her mother is the only one more important to her than you!

And you, he adds, raising an eyebrow, not that it did her much good.

Wow! Feeling the stab, I get up to pace. What the hell was that?

Leveling hot eyes, not at all childlike, he says, you left her in her darkest days, to suffer even darker ones, what’s the point of coming back now?

My entire body hurts, my brain wants to quit, and my heart, it can’t take much more. I didn’t know – I struggle, I didn’t know what happened here. I didn’t know they all thought I was dead when I decided to come back. I saw a random report on the one computer on the entire island, about her mother being so sick. Sitting at the desk chair, I couldn’t get it out of my mind. Couldn’t stop thinking how upset she must be. Just as quickly as I felt I had to go, I knew I had to come back.

Things aren’t the same, he shakes his head. You’re going to be very disappointed.

It’s ok, I know it’s been a while. I’m not expecting anything, I just knew I had to come back.

Still not convinced, and why did you leave in the first place? After another moment,