The Compass of a Conscience

By Darnell Wright

Have you ever heard the expression “Let your conscience be your guide”? Donnell White is a man determined to ease the guilt of his conscience by volunteering as a mentor at a detention center full of high-risk teens. The message he conveys to them is that the stumbling blocks in their lives can be used as stepping stones to turn things around. Donnell thought he’d seen and heard it all, but one teen named Brandon Bright showed him otherwise. Turns out, Brandon is a roller-coaster ride that Donnell forgot to fasten his seat belt on. In the process of trying to help Brandon turn his life around, Donnell’s life is changed in ways he couldn’t have imagined. In a classic case of the teacher becoming the student, this book brings to life the age-old saying “You’re never too old to learn.”

• Language: English
• Publisher: Indigo River Publishing
• Release date: Apr 15, 2020
• ISBN: 9781950906697

Darnell Wright

For Darnell Wright, change is not only inevitable?it?s required. Where others see destitution, desperation, and despair, he sees opportunity and optimism. As a speaker, author, and change agent, Darnell is best known for helping others transform into their authentic selves through strategic shifting of the mind. As a mentor to many, he?s not only mastered the art of reaching a demographic that many consider untouchable, but he?s also been successful at getting them to think differently and, in turn, act differently, catapulting them to a life of destiny and purpose fulfillment.His innate passion to go out into the world and inspire those who may be struggling with the same issues he has overcome is about much more than motivational moments. It?s a calling. It?s his purpose. And as fate would have it, many of his speaking engagements have led to permanent programming and long-term relationships. With keen insight and wisdom to reach beyond the surface of an individual, Darnell has been fortunate to speak to incarcerated and at-risk teens for over seven years. While many seek fortune or fame, he?s more than content with leaving a lasting impact on those who have lost all hope and confidence in themselves.

Book preview

The Big Break

May 4, 2011, was probably just another typical day to most people, but not to a guy named Donnell White. To him, there was nothing typical about that day at all. That day would become what he’d often refer to as his second chance at life, the moment when he knew his life would never be the same again.

At the Holcomb County Jail, located in Holcomb, Florida, a young man is sitting inside a six-by-ten-foot two-bunk cell. The young man is being held at this location because it has a contract with the government to act as a hub for housing federal inmates. Dressed in an orange jumpsuit, he’s waiting to be transported to a federal courthouse in Pensacola, Florida, where his case, overturned on a successful appeal, will be resentenced.

He’s already served three years of the fifteen-year sentence currently imposed on him. His celly, the person whom he shares the cell with, is sound asleep. For this young man, though, sleeping is the farthest thing from his mind. Anxiously, he paces the short distance from the cell bars to the small rectangular window at the back of the cell he’s in. The scheduled time for his court appearance is 9:15 a.m.

His eyes are now fixated on the circular clock that hangs on the wall in the common area outside his cell. It is now 8:40 a.m., and he wonders why the officers haven’t come to get him yet. His patience starts to wear thin, and just as he wraps his hands around the bars to squeeze them, a voice comes across the intercom.

White . . .

Yeah! he replies.

You got court this morning. Come on out.

He releases the bars and backs up to wait for the door to unlock. A loud buzzer sounds, and a distinctive click follows. He slides the door from right to left and exits his cell into the common area to wait for the arrival of the officers assigned to escort him. Familiar with jailhouse protocol, he stands in a designated red square box painted on the floor in front of the door.

Two officers stand on the other side of the door with handcuffs, shackles, and ankle cuffs. The door unlocks, and there, immediately on the floor where the officers stand, is another red-painted square box. One officer orders him to turn around, place his hands on the door, and spread his legs. He tells him to lift one leg at a time as he puts the ankle cuffs on him, and then to turn around again so he can put the shackles and handcuffs both around his waist and wrists.

Then the two officers escort him, one in the front and the other behind him, down a long hallway. By the time they reach the end of the hallway, one of his escorts radios in, Run Central, and the door immediately slides open. The first officer enters and takes him to a long desk where he notices a file with his name on it, last name first and first name last, in bold black lettering.

The officer grabs the file, and the two officers lead the young man to the sally port, where prisoners are secretly brought in and transported out of an institution. The officers then place him in the backseat of a cruiser heading to the United States District Courthouse in Pensacola, Florida.

The ride for this guy isn’t uncomfortable, but it is an intense one indeed. Thoughts race through his mind at a pace beyond his control, and he can’t help but think about the potential outcome of his situation. He’s had success getting to this pivotal point, but he just can’t seem to shake the fear that something could easily go sour for him. As quickly as his confidence had begun to build, he now fears facing the same federal prosecutor and sentencing judge he faced a few years ago, and a cloud of gloom casts doubt over any positive expectations he tries to have.

They arrive soon to the south gate of the courthouse, where they are met by perimeter security. On the other side of the gate, a guard shack is within eye-view of the vehicle. A guard exits the shack, approaches the vehicle, and asks the transporter for the appropriate paperwork for the inmate they’re bringing in. Once the paperwork is verified, a signal is given to the guard inside the control room of the guard shack. The gate opens, and they proceed inward to the heavily guarded sally port of the courthouse.

Once inside, a large metal gate comes down and secures the entire area. The officers exit the vehicle and escort their prisoner to a special entrance at the back of the courthouse. After being buzzed through several doors, the inmate finally arrives at a holding cell.

He sits down on a bench made from solid concrete as his eyes scan every inch of the cell. Noticeably etched on the walls of the holding cell he’s in are writings and quotes left behind by previous felons, dropping the names of inmates who snitched, and expressing vulgarities in various ways. One sentence that catches his immediate attention reads: So and So was here on this day and was sentenced to LIFE!!

Another reads, LIFE REALLY SUCKS.

Donnell will remain in this cell until he’s summoned for his court appearance. In what has become some sort of a ritual for him, he stands up, turns around, and kneels to pray. Dear Heavenly Father, it is in your Holy Son’s name, Jesus Christ, that I pray. I confess my sins and ask for your mercy as I stand condemned by the world. I know you are greater than the world—

As he is praying, the buzzer echoes, and he hears someone with a set of keys approaching. Two US marshals walk into the cell to frisk him for any illegal contraband he might have smuggled in. Then he is taken to an elevator and is escorted into a courtroom on the fifth floor. As he enters the room, he is surprised and a bit perplexed to find himself inside a packed courtroom full of strangers. He notices his family seated on the opposite side of the courtroom. The marshals lead him to a table where his attorney is seated, smiling. The marshals give him a brief tutorial of court procedures. Then he’s instructed to take a seat next to his attorney, and he exchanges a handshake with him. The two of them lean toward each other for a private conversation.

His attorney whispers, I know you’re probably wondering who these people are and why they’re all here. This is a group of teenage youth offenders from the Ohallowbee Detention Center for Boys. The other individuals are staff and parents of the boys—

The attorney is interrupted by the bailiff’s announcement, and the voice of the court security officer fills the room.

All rise. The Honorable Stacy Ransom presiding. Maintain order in the court.

Judge Ransom enters, sits down, and says, You may be seated.

Donnell’s attorney turns toward him and whispers again, I’ll fill you in later, OK?

In a very formal and professional manner, Judge Ransom states, "This is case number four five nine zero zero CS, the United States versus Donnell White. This is quite an unusual occurrence for me. I don’t normally have any criminal defendants who come back before me on habeas corpus. Quite frankly, it’s extremely rare. It is also my understanding that we have some special guests in attendance today from the Ohallowbee Detention Center for Boys. I sincerely hope you boys pay close attention to what you are about to witness today, and I hope you realize that the path each of you are on could easily land one, if not all of you, right here in front of me—perhaps even in the very same seat occupied by Mr. White here—facing the consequences of your actions.

With all that said, I believe we are ready to proceed with Mr. White’s case. Is Mr. Cain present on behalf of the prosecutor’s office?

Good morning, Your Honor. Tony Cain for the United States Attorney’s office.

How about Mr. Gilliam on behalf of the Federal Public Defender’s office?

Yes, Your Honor. Durley Gilliam, appointed counsel for the defendant today.

What I’d like to do today, Judge Ransom says then, that is, if it’s OK with both the counsel and Mr. White, is allow these boys to hear Mr. White talk about his life and the experiences he’s had living this kind of lifestyle, in his own words. I hope you boys listen very carefully to the things Mr. White is about to share with you all today. You guys really need to take heed of any advice he can offer. It might someday be useful in helping you all avoid making the same mistakes he himself has made. Mr. White, would you be interested in speaking to these young men today?

I would love to, Judge, Donnell says, surprised at the request and this turn of events. It would be an honor for me to share my story and give them some insight. I believe I may have knowledge that can relate to their situation and help them.

Very well, then, you may turn and address them. On second thought, wait a minute, Mr. White, Judge Ransom says. She beckons for one of the marshals. May I have his handcuffs removed? I want him to feel comfortable as he’s telling his story.

Thank you, Your Honor.

You’re welcome, Mr. White.

"Hello, everybody. Since you have sat through the formalities of this hearing today, it should be evident what my name is by now. I’ll spare you guys the trouble of having me restate it to you. I believe that if I’m to tell you all a story, what better one to tell than that of my own? You see, it’s my story. I wasn’t expecting to talk to you today, and I’m not really prepared, but can’t nobody tell my story better than I can because I’m the one who lived it.

"Have you guys ever heard someone say of a cancer patient who passed away that he or she fought a long, hard fight? Well, that’s the kind of analogy about to be used here today about the outcome of my life thus far. The difference is that I didn’t lose my life to the cancerous plague of violence, drugs, and prison. I lived through it all to give guys like yourselves and others my testimony.

I got to admit I’ve always felt like I’ve been dying to live, but only living to die. Seriously. It is only by the grace of God that I’m alive and well to share my story here today. Do you all understand what I’m saying thus far?

Yeah. Uh-huh, they respond simultaneously.

You guys are getting a sneak peek into your future to see what’s in store if you don’t heed the warning being given to you today. I’ll be the first one to tell you that this journey of mine has been troublesome, transforming, and spiritual.

II

The Tender Years

I jumped off the porch at the tender age of twelve years old, Donnell begins. "For those of you who have absolutely no clue what that means, it is a euphemism, meaning that I graduated from my innocence to live a life of corruption. It felt like the ultimate transition from being a little boy to becoming a grown man, like some of you boys may be feeling right now.

"I’ve been in juvie detention too, and I know what it feels like to be sitting where you’re sitting. This isn’t my first rodeo, ya know? I remember what it felt like, thinking that I was a mature adult at times but couldn’t quite control that little boy inside of me. Some of the adults, if not all, in this room have had a few of those same emotions when they were your age too. But unlike us, their choices didn’t land them in any trouble like ours have.

"I’ve sold drugs basically