Wipe Out: The Coronavirus Crisis, #1

By Kai Parker

There was panic.
There was mayhem. 
There was... no... damn.... toilet paper. 

Meet Wyatt. Wyatt isn't the sharpest tool in the shed or even a moderately capable rusty knife. No, Wyatt is about as blunt as a ball bearing. But when his family runs out of toilet paper during the dreaded Coronavirus Crisis Lockdown, he has no choice. He must save his family from certain arse-roughery and discomfort!  His father trusts him. After all he said he was the, "Most expend... EXPERIENCED."  He would make his parents and younger sister and brother proud.  

Will Wyatt find the white gold roll he seeks? 

Join Wyatt on his tale of challenge, adventure, love, intrigue and utter ridiculousness. 

**Disclaimer: This story is INSPIRED by real events ;) butt (spelling mistake intentional) is wholly fictional. It does not refer to Covid-19, rather, a totally fictitious and unrelated Coronavirus outbreak. Covid-19 is serious and measures recommended by medical professionals, the World Health Organisation, and your government should be adhered to. Butt, toilet paper hoarding? Really? Might as well have a laugh while you are trapped inside! Laughter is the best medicine, they say.

** The other disclaimer: Wyatt's family are Aussies. They are NOT representative of all Australians. We ain't all dickheads - LOL. A glossary of Australian slang has been provided for the convenience of the classy and well-read such as yourself. *WINK* See what I did there?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kai Parker
• Release date: Mar 19, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393547907

Book preview

Writer’s World Books

Wipe Out © 2020 by Kai Parker. All Rights Reserved.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. 

Except for Australia. Australia is real.

Cover designed by Kristy Westaway 

Kai Parker

Visit my website at www.patreon.com/writersworld

For Vicky

A house sitter without a house to sit is a homeless wanderer.

Thanks for giving this homeless wanderer a roof to stay under while the world loses its shit (pun so totally intended).

Chapter One

S ee, I told you. Didn’t I tell you? I told them. Didn’t I? I was right. I told you all this would happen. Dad wagged his finger at everyone in the room in turn. His slowly disintegrating recliner creaked with every move.

Sarah rolled her eyes and Wyatt smirked.

Mum wiped her hands on a tea-towel. Yes. Yes, you did, she said. You were right.

Sarah scoffed and shook her head as she folded her arms and stared out the window.

Wyatt joined her. Whatchu looking at?

Freedom, said Sarah with a shrug. She turned away from him and started back towards her room.

Over-population, said Dad with a laugh. The coronavirus is gonna fix up those countries.

Sarah visibly shuddered as she pulled to a halt. She turned to Dad. It is not THE coronavirus. It is A coronavirus. You have no idea what you are talking about.

Yeah, he does, snapped Wyatt without thinking. Not that that was anything unique. Sarah narrowed her eyes at him and he looked away.

Thanks, son, said Dad as he pushed himself up in his chair to turn just enough so that he could see Wyatt. He gave his son a nod before letting his hefty beer frame fall back into the cushy lounge with a twang of distorted springs. Dad waved his accusatory finger at Sarah. You may be smart, but you ain’t world smart.

Sarah laughed, shook her head, and continued down the hall to her old bedroom.

Wyatt looked out the window and wondered what Sarah had been seeing. It was quiet out there. There was nobody. No cars drove up and down the street. No kids on skateboards yelled random obscene comments because somewhere they learned that that was a cool thing to do. Not even a stray cat or dog loitered risking becoming roadkill. Not that they could be run over because there were no cars out there. But unlike his sister, he was happy to be trapped inside. Besides, he still lived at home. Just because she had gone off to University, just because she was doing something with her life, didn't mean he wanted to. He was quite happy living in the converted space under the house. For him, lock-down wasn’t much different than every other day before it. He didn’t really go anywhere anyway.

The whole thing was much more difficult on his younger siblings - Sarah and George. Although, George didn’t seem too concerned. After all, he had just started his final year of high school. George didn’t much care that he was missing any school.

Wyatt couldn't see it. As hard as he looked, as much as he strained and focussed, he just couldn’t see whatever it was that Sarah was looking at. So, he shrugged and turned away from the window. What do you reckon’s gonna happen now, Dad? he asked and flopped in the lounge beside Kenny and the old man. Kenny shuffled over and laid a paw on Wyatt’s leg.

Don't you worry about that, son, said Dad as he leaned over and patted Wyatt on the shoulder. We’re the smart ones. We got everything we need.

What? Toilet paper? asked Sarah as she strode back through the lounge room and into the kitchen.

Dad looked like he was about to say something but instead, he just pursed his lips and readjusted his position.

This is insane, said Sarah as she took a bottle of water from the fridge then headed straight back to her bedroom.

Sarah, said Mum after she was already out of earshot.

Dad pointed down the hall. That girl will thank us when everyone else is dead from this damn Chinese government infection. After all her little smart school friends out there protesting are all infected, she’ll thank us.

I'm grateful, Dad, said Wyatt.

Dad huffed. Why are you grateful? You ain’t doing anything you wouldn’t have done anyway.

No, that's not true, said Mum. Wyatt smiled. If we weren’t in lock-down, Wyatt would be going to work and getting us more supplies.

Yeah, I would, said Wyatt.

Would have been better if you bought some home with you when the lock-down took effect, said Dad and snorted. Wyatt slumped. Look at this, said Dad throwing his hand up at the television. Wyatt sank back into the lounge and looked at the wall next to him. There was not much to see on the wall; just some cracks and paint chips. But it