Stop Asking Why Are You Single: A Journey Towards Healing and Contentment in Christ

By Indiana Tuggle

Do you question why you are single? Does not having a relationship prevent you from enjoying life to the fullest? Are you ready to uncover the inner battles and barriers preventing you from obtaining the abundant life God promised you in this season. In this Faith-filled guide learn how to:

1. Stop comparing yourself to others and be grateful for what God has already done in your life

2. Recognize what hinders your praise and the importance of praise

3. Forgive, let go of the past and recognize your worth¿Relinquish your wants and submit to the will of God¿Discover the tricks the enemy uses to discourage you from discovering your purpose

4. Recognize true happiness is in your identity in Christ

5. Live in the moment and acknowledge God's presence in your life

6. Enjoy who you are and where you are with God

Currently single and celibate for over 5 years, I understand the impatience and frustration one can experience when desiring a mate yet having to wait. I was unhappy and my misery affected not only my career but everyone around me. "Not now" was not the answer I was expecting when questioning my singleness to God. But what I uncovered was issues of low self-esteem, anger and un-forgiveness stemming from unresolved issues of sexual molestation, unhealthy relationships and domestic violence. Allowing God to heal me, opened my eyes to the true beauty of singleness.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Victory Publishing Co
• Release date: Apr 6, 2014
• ISBN: 9780999341117

Indiana Tuggle

Indiana is an Inspirational Author, Speaker, and Coach. By education and trade, she is a Career Counselor with a Bachelor's degree in Social Work and two Masters Degrees, one in Public Administration and the other in Professional Counseling. She teaches women who have been trapped by their past gain freedom, uncover their identity and purpose in Christ through coaching, teaching and workshops. Learn more about her at www.indianatuggle.com.

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Table of Contents

Stop Asking Why Are You Single

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Chapter 1: Being Single is a Blessing Not a Curse!

Chapter 2: If I Don’t Get Him/Her, I Will Still Praise Him

Chapter 3: He That Findeth

Chapter 4: Delight Yourself in the Lord!

Chapter 5: God’s Work Not Busy Work

Chapter 6: Happiness Comes From God

Chapter 7: Living in the Moment

Chapter 8: Enjoy Who You Are and Where You Are With God

About the Author

Stop Asking Why Are You Single

A Journey Towards Healing and Contentment in Christ

Indiana Tuggle

Copyright © 2014 by Indiana Tuggle

Victory Publishing Inc.

P.O. Box 752584

Memphis, TN 38175

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means – electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other – except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without prior permission.

All Scripture quotations unless otherwise marked are from New King James Version of the Bible, © 1979, 1980, 1982, 1990 by Thomas Nelson Inc.

Edited by Zipporah Williams, Memphis, TN.

Printed in the United States of America

Acknowledgements

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To my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, thank you for believing in me, choosing me for such a task, and encouraging me along the way.

To my brother, Prentiss King and my mother Deborah Tuggle thank you for always protecting me and being there for me. It is your love that has strengthened me over the years.

To my spiritual father, Bishop H.D. Vann, thank you for your integrity and modeling of true Christianity. It is through your unconditional love and kindness that I have learned to trust again.

To my Powerhouse family, thank you for teaching me the most important aspect about being a Christian, relationship with God. It is through this relationship that I have discovered who I am and who He is in me.

To my spiritual family: Mama Patricia Key, big sisters Jennifer Sample and Bobriller Hill and my little sister Zipporah Williams. Thank you for your support, encouragement and occasional kick in the butt to keep me on track.

Introduction

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In my frustrations of being single and being asked by so many why I was still single, I posed that same question to God. His response was the inspiration for the book title as well as the eight chapters that encompass the book. God does not want us to question his plans for our journey rather He expects us to trust Him and walk in them.

Singleness is a journey that all must go through. But as I have learned Frustration is a result of trying to do something in your own strength that only God can do. Only God can provide a suitable mate and will do so in His perfect timing. As Christians we can sulk and complain, in hopes to speed up the process, or in my case, in hopes that God will finally give in and give me what I want. This brings me to another lesson, God does not do anything out of season. Therefore we must choose whether to go through with joy or with anguish. Stop Asking Why Are You Single is my journey through the frustrations of singleness into healing, true happiness and the joy of the Lord.

This book is not a complete guide, it is merely the beginning or the opening of the door to acknowledge and do the work that is required. It is intended for single Christians, male and female, who desire a mate and have let that desire consume their very being and hinder their relationship with God. It is also intended for Christians, who received a promise from the Lord and have become frustrated or their heart has hardened in the wait.

In each chapter I offer transparency into my struggles and afflictions of the past and present, as well as how I overcame, with the help of God. Each chapter represents deliverance from a particular area in my life. While writing this book, God led me to study four books of the bible: John, Romans, Ephesians and Matthew. Therefore the book is filled with prophetic revelations revealed by the Holy Spirit as I studied these books. This book also contains revelations from pastors, prophets, prophetesses, ministers, etc. through sermons and personal words of encouragement I have heard and received.

The book is divided into eight chapters; within those chapters are topics that were relevant to the chapter at hand. Some topics may seem to repeat in some chapters however with the changing chapter there is a new aspect of that particular topic. Chapter 1: Being single is a blessing not a curse tackles viewing ourselves through worldly standards, questioning God, focusing on what you don’t have, living in the past and letting go and letting God (trust). In this chapter I learned how to stop comparing myself to a non-Christian world and to be grateful for what God has already done in my life. Chapter 2: If I don’t get him/her, I will still praise Him tells how to cut the enemy off at the knees, recognizing what hinders your praise, and the importance of praise. Chapter two taught me to praise God no matter what because it is what He created us to do and it is what moves God to work on our behalf.

Chapter 3: He that findeth…tackles the act of searching for a mate in topics such as starting with God, looking for love in all the wrong places, letting go of the past (forgiveness) and seeking after God not man. In this chapter I discovered that there is nothing wrong with me. God’s timing is not our timing and it is not my job to physically find my husband despite what the books and magazines say. Chapter 4: Delight yourself in the Lord discusses relinquishing your wants, with Christ life is just beginning, remember the word, comparing yourself to others, seeking advice from the ungodly, aborting the process, and serving God with expectations. Chapter 4 is generally about relationship with God and what is required to enhance that relationship. God wants us to focus on Him, pleasing Him and loving others in return He will focus on our needs.

Chapter 5: God’s work not busy work focuses on living life on purpose with purpose and understanding what prevents us from drawing closer to God. God created us for a purpose; it is the fulfilling of that purpose that should guide our actions. This chapter also taught me about the tricks of the enemy that prevent us from getting closer to God to discover our purpose such as loneliness, fear, identity issues, and disobedience. Chapter 6: Happiness comes from God provides guidance to true happiness such as recognizing who you are, believing His word, staying the course, watching what you say, staying in your lane (stop trying to do God’s job), seeking to please the Lord, and fighting for your happiness. In this chapter I discovered true happiness is not in what you have but in who you are and when the enemy gets us to question who we are we are unable to be used by God.

Chapter 7: Living in the moment provides practical steps to let go of the past (acknowledging your feelings, releasing the blame, forgiving yourself and others, and realizing others need your help) and relinquishing control of the future by remembering the words spoken over you, trusting God’s plan, realizing God is in control, staying in the word, and letting go of fear. This chapter also discusses being mindful of the present. Chapter 7 was basically a reminder of how far God has brought me. The most important thing I learned in this chapter is God is not in our past pushing us through nor in our futures waiting for us to get to where He is, He is walking with us, beside us, in our present. To dwell on either the past or the future is to deny His power in our lives. Life is a continuous journey it will not end when we finally get our mate, God has so much for us and He is waiting to release it if we just trust Him.

Chapter 8: Enjoy who you are and where you are with God is an acknowledgement of who you are, whose you are and how to enjoy it. God does not hide our purpose from us; He reveals it to us when we ask. It is the very thing that we are most passionate about and would do it whether we got paid for it or not. Generally others recognize who we are or our purpose before we do. The power of God and the strength to accomplish it lies in our purpose. In this chapter I challenge the reader to write their purpose down and read it daily and then ask God how to accomplish it. Joy comes in completing each task rather than in the final product. Obedience is in completion, the results are up to God.

My hopes in writing Stop Asking Why Are You Single, is that sharing my struggles and my journey will encourage someone else in their own personal journey as well as challenge others to examine their relationship with God and start living the victorious life God promised for all His children. So many Christians are hurting and drowning in past mistakes which have paralyzed them from enjoying the fullness of God. God did not mean for us to merely survive, He wants us to THRIVE. God promised us many blessings in this journey called life, we cannot get discouraged because we don’t have them when we want them or dwell on missing one over the other.

Chapter 1

Being Single is a Blessing Not a Curse!

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Out of the fullness of His grace He has blessed us all, giving us one blessing after another

John 1:16 (GNT)

I know that phrase may sound cliché and I know you’ve probably heard it a million times. But it is absolutely true. However we have a hard time accepting the truth when we don’t believe it ourselves. Belief in this one simple fact is dependent upon the garbage that has been thrown at us by the environment we live.

Stop viewing yourself through worldly standards

This statement is important not only to understanding the blessing of being single, but to your Christian walk and relationship with God. Let’s begin with the societal definition. The world defines single as being without a partner or significant other, or not being in a relationship. Though partially true (single is properly defined as not married); the problem is not in the definition but in the stigmatism associated with the definition. Single people are viewed as lonely, unhappy, unattractive, and/or unwanted. Why do we accept this? We are a product of our environment. It is what we were taught and what we see.

The first stage in puberty is marked by the first time we have feelings or likings for the opposite sex. I remember being taunted by friends saying Indie got a boyfriend, or Indie and so-and-so sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g……! What about the stories we grew up on? Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, depict the poor misfortunate, mistreated woman finally being rescued by her prince charming or knight in shining armor. Thus women grew up learning that a man was supposed to take care of them and rescue them from the big bad world. Men, on the other hand, grew up thinking that money, power and good