ADHD: You've Got My Attention

By Bob Ossler and Janice Heck

What’s it like to go through life with ADHD? To fail over and over again? To be criticized for poor performance or inattention to details? To wonder why you are so different from other people? To hide your feelings and pretend you’re okay?

Many books describe individuals with ADHD. They state the problems--the inattention, distractibility, impulsivity, hyperactivity, disorganization, difficulty managing time, and more. But we don’t see the resolution, the changes, the outcomes for this person. We never find out how these individuals cope or conquer their difficulties—if they do.

Bob Ossler struggled with ADHD all his life—although he didn’t know that term until later in life. He knew he was different, weird even. His red curly hair, his myriads of freckles, his sometimes inappropriate behavior, and his poor academic performance made him the brunt of vicious teasing by peers.

He didn’t learn in school; he learned in spite of school. As a sophomore, he mastered chess on his own by studying Bobby Fisher Teaches Chess, a book of diagrams and strategies. Soon after, he trounced every member of the high school chess club, even when playing multiple challengers at the same time. In class, his oral presentation skills earned him A’s; written work earned him F’s. Clearly, he was an atypical student.

Nevertheless, he graduated from high school and went on to join the military where he trained first as an x-ray technician, then a psychology technician, and finally, an emergency medical technician. After the military, he joined the Chicago Fire Department and became a paramedic/firefighter and air-sea diver.

While employed full-time with the CFD, Ossler enrolled in seventeen years of part-time study to become an ordained pastor and chaplain to fulfill his desire to comfort hurting people. In 2001, he served as volunteer chaplain in New York City after the September 11th terrorist attacks. He describes his experiences at Ground Zero in his book, Triumph Over Terror.
How did Ossler manage all that when he barely scraped through high school?

Ossler used his gifts. ADHD brought him difficulties with learning in a traditional setting, but it gifted him with high energy, insatiable curiosity, an incredible memory, the ability to hyper focus in high-stakes situations, a vivid imagination, a competitive spirit, a willingness to take risks, and a compassionate heart.

In his mid-thirties, by chance, he heard Dr. Edward Hallowell on talk radio describing the behaviors of a person with ADD. Ossler recognized himself. He tracked down Hallowell’s book, Driven to Distraction and read it from cover to cover multiple times. “That’s me. I have attention deficit disorder.”

Assuming a label didn’t solve his problem, but it provided a measure of relief. He had a nameable problem; other people had this problem, too. He was not alone.

Follow Bob Ossler from success on the playground to failure in school. Walk with him from kindergarten through adult learning situations. What did he think? How did he feel? How did he learn? What strategies did he discover to take himself from failure to success? Ossler shares all that in this book.

Parents. Your children may have these learning and behavior difficulties. Learn to work with them instead of battling with them. Uncover their hidden feelings of shame and failure. Help them discover their unique selves. Find their hearts and spirits and nurture them.

Teachers, you have these students in your class. Listen to Bob’s advice on how to engage them. Use non-traditional instruction to reach them. Save them from a life of failure and disappointment.

Coworkers, spouses, and significant others. Identify the strengths of those with ADD/ADHD and assist them in areas of difficulties. Encourage and praise them for their successes.

Your hearts will be touched as you read this book. God bless you as you reach out to others.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bob Ossler
• Release date: Nov 13, 2019
• ISBN: 9781945976445

Book preview

Tony Patricelli, National Sales Executive, TForce

In the Norridge summer of 1968, there was a new kid in town. He was a ball of fire, redheaded, freckle-faced, constantly chewing gum and spitting it out at the wrong times, always talking in a bizarre but funny and entertaining way. For me, he was a little intimidating. He always seemed to be in a hurry but never went anywhere. We kids just concluded, Hey, that’s just Bob Ossler. We’d never heard of ADD or ADHD.

But Bob and I shared a backyard together for eight years, and we became close friends especially thru middle and high school. As the years went on, I expected the bizarre behavior but instead observed an incredibly talented and compassionate human being emerge, one destined to do great things.

Thank you, Bob, for having the courage to write this book, ADHD: You’ve Got My Attention, because only now am I beginning to understand what has been going on in our friendship for over fifty years. Chaplain Bob Ossler continues to teach me life’s most important lessons of human interaction and loving one’s neighbor. Enjoy and spread the word!

Jim Page, English Teacher, Ridgewood High School, Norridge, IL, Retired

Heartily endorsing Pastor Robert Ossler’s new book is a privilege. This personal account of life with ADD/ADHD is remarkably insightful for people so afflicted, as well as for those of us who live with and teach them. Bob’s perseverance as a high school student in my English class created opportunity to provide individualized instructional material that not only enhanced his learning but satisfied his need to succeed.

Dr. Stephen J. Kemp, Founding Dean, Antioch School of Church Planting and Leadership Development. Former Dean, Moody Bible Institute, External Studies Division.

Students tend to get lost in the system of formal higher education. Apply. Register. Pay. Go to class. Take a test. Earn credit. Rinse. Repeat. Graduate.

Bob Ossler is one such student who almost got lost in the process. Bob had a Mensa-caliber mind, but he also had ADHD. As dean, I created an alternative path for him to finish his degree that was truly competency-based.

Bob’s book, ADHD: You’ve Got My Attention, describes his unique ways of coping with his learning differences. Written from an ADHD perspective, this book provides insight from the inside out. Its wisdom is deep, not clinically abstract, and practical. It helps parents, educators, and family to serve and be served by those with ADHD.

Ted Schneider, Chicago, IL, WRLR 98.3 FM talk show host, Something to Think About

In his first book, Triumph Over Terror, Bob Ossler helps his fellow countrymen by assisting and comforting people at the World Trade Center after the 9/11 terrorist attacks. In his second book, ADHD: You’ve Got My Attention, Bob triumphs over ADD/ADHD.

This book describes how he progresses through life with this condition, learns to use it to his advantage, helps himself to function normally in society, and finds his purpose in life. By telling his story, he hopes that others who have ADD/ADHD, or any special condition for that matter, will benefit from his insights. Ossler demonstrates the courage to push ahead; turning what could have been a negative into a positive, and along the way follows the path of self-discovery.

Tim Shoemaker, author of Super Husband, Super Dad and The Code of Silence Series

Sometimes, when God has a really big job for someone to do in life—he blesses them with extra energy. Doctors and educators label it ADHD. Parents often mistake this blessing for a curse. Bob Ossler knows all about the blessings and curses of ADHD—and he’s saved more lives, impacted more people, and mastered more skills than any ten people I know—combined. Thank God he has ADHD. Through his own story, let Bob show you how to channel your child’s and your ADHD energy into a life defined by anything but deficits and disabilities.

Salvatore Roggio, Pastor, Cumberland County Community Church, Millville, NJ.

When Bob Ossler joined our staff as pastor of evangelism in 2015, I didn’t realize how gifted he was. I’d heard that he was a highly motivated and skilled evangelist with a varied background. From paramedic to firefighter to funeral embalmer to chalk artist, I wondered what he hadn’t accomplished. He was especially good at working with first responders. It wasn’t long before he became a local police and fire chaplain.

How does someone fit so much into life? I never guessed this was a result of ADHD. I just thought Bob was driven, and as a result, highly accomplished. Reading ADHD: You’ve Got My Attention helped me understand why he was so ambitious.

If you’ve ever struggled with fitting in, you’ll appreciate this book. If you can’t stay focused and don’t know why, you’ll find plenty of action plans here to help you. If you become impatient with people who seem to have a hard time figuring out life, you’ll develop empathy. But above all, you’ll discover that you’re not alone, and if you take some advice and struggle through your difficulties, you can accomplish great things. That is what Bob has done, and he writes to encourage you.

Susan Skoli-Duke. Retired Educator, B.A., M.Ed.

ADHD: You’ve Got My Attention is especially compelling because the author, Bob Ossler, has personally experienced growing up and living with ADHD. The book discusses life experiences as well as how compassionate teachers and other adults guided him along the way when special education was in its early evolutionary stages. Regardless of the many hardships an ADHD child may experience, Bob Ossler is an example of how to best coexist with adversity and still become a productive adult. ADHD: You’ve Got My Attention is an excellent guide to parents, educators, and anyone stumbling through any struggles in life.

Kathryn Ross, Pageant Wagon Publishing. Author, The Gatekeeper's Key and Homeschool Literacy Journals Collection.

I’ve spent years working in both private Christian schools and homeschool circles, observing students and exasperated parents/teachers of children who mirror Bob Ossler’s life experiences.

Bob’s stories reveal how he stumbled through failure, overcame obstacles, and rose to pinnacles of success, touching thousands of lives with comfort and healing in some of America’s most tragic moments. His writing partner, Janice Heck, brings years of experience in special needs education and research to present this clear, concise narrative, featuring targeted action steps to recognize, manage, and excel in life with ADHD.

Mary Eble, MSW, Executive Director, North Bay Housing Coalition, Fairfield, CA

Chaplain Bob Ossler (I call him America's Chaplain) has the biggest heart of anyone I know. He goes where people are hurting to be a presence of healing—a balm for one's pain. I am impressed that he never lets his ADD stop him—he has overcome so many challenges. His book is an inspiration for all of us.

Table of Contents

Endorsements

Acknowledgements

Introduction: ADHD: You’ve Got My Attention!

Important Note

PART ONE – Growing Up ADHD in a Pre-ADHD World

Chapter 1 – Early Years

Wild Boy on Nottingham Street

Dangerous Mix: Imagination and Impulsivity

Trouble Starts in Kindergarten

First Grade, Fresh Start

Articulation: I Pwedge Aweegiance to the Fwag

Reading Dummy or Class Clown

Chapter 2 – Downward Spiral: Failure and Shame in the Primary Grades

Retained!

Second Grade: More Fun the Second Time?

Third Grade Trouble: From Outhouse to Trashcan

Five-Minute Hero

Failure in School, Success in Scouts

Risk-Taking: Bobby Will Do It!

Misbehavior: Send That Kid Home!

Chapter 3 – Change: A New Dad and a Second Chance

Incentives Work: Burger King Seals the Deal

Pecking Order – Who’s the Dumb One?

Memory Tricks: Pineapples on Sugar Cane Stalks?

Math: Oh, I Get It Now. Wait. How Do I Do That?

Last Minute Bobby: Medieval Castle

Chapter 4 – ADHD: Middle Grades Muddle

Big Fat Red A+

Going for Gold but Winning Lead

Middle Grades: Worse than Smelly Sneakers

Geography: How to Love a Subject You Hate

Science: Hands-on Learning

Chapter 5 – Struggling Through High School

Piranha-Filled Lakes and Truck Loads of Homework

Distraction Rears Its Ugly Head

Curiosity: What Happens to Dead Bodies?

Challenge: Ship in a Bottle

I’ll Show Them! Hyperfocused on Chess

Impulsive Behavior, Big Mouth

Flawed Heart: The Student Shows the Teacher

Mr. P. Set Me Straight: You Have Unique Strengths

Senior Panic: Independent Study Saves the Day

PART TWO – ADHD and Military Life

Chapter 6 – Striving Towards a Goal

Dead End or New Beginning?

Military Basic Training: Do as You’re Told!

X-Ray Technician: Tackling Terminology

Advanced Tech Classes: Dummy Again?

Sir. Trainee Ossler Reporting for Duty. Sir.

Mentors Make a Difference

Change of Heart: Who Needs Religion?

Moving On

PART THREE – Searching for My Place in the World

Chapter 7 – Freedom and Failure: Adult ADHD

On the Job, but Reaching Higher

Failure, Humiliation, Rash Decisions

Tormented by Impulsive Decisions

Torn: Dreams or Goals

Competing Choices Create Havoc in My Mind

Chapter 8 – ADHD and Marriage

A Marriage Made in Heaven

Lessons Learned the Hard Way

Follow Established Protocol: Their Way or the Highway

Paramedic: Compassion on the Job

PART FOUR – Crises Force Change

Chapter 9 – Heartache and Exquisite Joy

Hydrocephalus or Abortion?

Our Littlest Angel: HALO is Born

Life on the Line at Home and At Work

Heather Beats the Odds

Chapter 10 – Financial Pressures and Impulsivity

A Foolish Decision Bring Regrets

STOP! Enough Is Enough!

Driven to Impulsivity

Air-Sea Rescue

Chapter 11 – Turning Points

Chance Encounter with ADHD Guru,

Dr. Edward Hallowell

Impulse Control: A Cooler Head Prevails

Reaching an Unreachable Goal

Sticking Up for Myself

September 11, 2001: Abrupt Change in Direction

Changing Goals: Physical Healing or Spiritual Healing?

PART FIVE – ADHD in Retirement

Chapter 12 – Change as Usual

Retired but Not Retired

ADHD Harnessed: I’m an Author: Triumph Over Terror

Diagnosis: Do I Really Have ADHD? Or Did I Grow Out of It?

Chapter 13 – Living in an Impatient World

The Need for Change is Part of Me

Driving Me Crazy

Overwhelmed, Distracted, Frustrated

ADHD Goes Shopping

Speaking of Money

Project Paralysis: Dig the Hole First

PART SIX – Taking Care of Myself

Chapter 14 – ADHD Health and Welfare

Nutrition: Triple Bacon Cheeseburgers or

Carrots Sticks?

Exercise: Iron Man Triathlon or Tin Foil Man?

Sleep, Meditation, and Prayer

Medication

About the Authors

Bibliography

Dedication

In Memory of Our Parents:

Josephine Ossler and Russell J. Ossler

and

Ellen Mae Kroelinger and Adam Emil Kroelinger, Sr.

Who provided the inspiration for our lives and work.

ACKOWLEDGEMENTS

A book is not written by one person. All the people I’ve known and the experiences I’ve accumulated contribute to these pages. God showed his care for me by bringing compassionate people into my life at my most vulnerable points. God made me who I am, ADHD and all, and gave me a ministry to people in distress.

First on my list of people to thank: Susan Ossler, my bride of 36 years, my true love. Sue fell in love with the daffy-doodle Bob and stuck with me over the years. Marriage changed my life for the better. My wife, Swaggy, a true friend, is a great mom to our three daughters, Noelle, Michelle, and Heather.

Throughout my graduate and postgraduate work, Noelle, my first daughter, translated my terrible handwriting, corrected my grammar and spelling, and typed my papers. I called her Doctor Noelle. She also gave this book an eagle-eyed final edit.

Michelle, my second daughter, kept me on target. You’ve got this, Dad. You know what you’re doing. She boosted my self-confidence and kept me going.

Heather, BooBoo, my third daughter, born with hydrocephalus, is a successful woman with a vibrant personality. She’s married, employed, and completing a college degree. Her strength in conquering her medical difficulties, her determination, and her courage served as a role model for me. If Heather can do it, I can do it!

My mom, Jo Ossler, always told me, Work hard. Do well. Enjoy life. She didn’t know I had ADHD. She just thought I was a rambunctious, high energy boy with a wild imagination and a penchant for irritating teachers and causing trouble.

My dad, Russ Ossler, helped me discover that despite my eccentricities, I had smarts. He was a no-nonsense guy, a firm disciplinarian, but always gentle and fair. The time he spent with me showed me he cared and wanted the best for me in life.

Ann Marie, Linda, and my late brother Steve, my competitive but loving siblings, kept me on my toes as a child and as an adult. Ann Marie is a kindergarten teacher and loves her little children. Linda works with bilingual and non-English speaking adults in a special education setting.

To be successful in life, a person with ADHD needs a strong support team. At critical points in my life, mentors guided me through difficult times.

Tony Patricelli, my childhood buddy, remains a close friend. He and his dad, Mr. Patricelli (Mr. P.), helped me realize I had the potential to achieve any goals I set for myself. Tony, dearest of friends, thanks for helping shape my life. To this day, I feel my gift of gab and friendliness comes from our endless hours of talking.

Compassionate and dedicated educators make a difference in the lives of persons with ADHD. Mr. Joseph Patricelli, Tony’s dad, principal of a school in suburban Chicago, was a friend to me as well. This man changed my life by spending quality time with me—a confused teenager. He was ahead of his time in recognizing individual differences and learning styles. His encouraging words found a permanent home in my memory. I’ll always be grateful to him for his timely advice.

Mr. William Lehman, my 5th-grade industrial arts teacher at Giles School, was the first teacher to show genuine interest in me as a unique individual. He spent hours with me after school, helping me develop my mechanical drawing skills and nurturing my love for design. Mr. Lehman seemed to delight in my interest and helped develop my self-confidence. I will never forget his kindness.

Mr. Jim Page, my high school English teacher, saw my struggles and frustration in academics yet never belittled me or made me feel like the dim light in the room. He recognized my strengths, adapted assignments, and brought concepts to a level where I could hear, see, focus, and understand.

Dr. Baskaran, my phenomenally patient military mentor, helped me through my wildly competing interests to help me focus on becoming a paramedic—my primary life goal. He gave me responsibilities beyond my abilities, and I discovered I could handle them.

Dr. Steve Kemp, my mentor at Moody Bible Institute, understood my learning difficulties and adapted programs to meet my needs. He recognized my heart for people, and with program modifications, enabled me to earn my degree in Christian Ministry.

I’m honored to have Janice Hall Heck as a coauthor, editor, and friend. We met in a writers’ critique group held at the Cumberland County Community Church (CCCC) soon after I moved to Millville, New Jersey, in 2015. We linked up to write Triumph Over Terror, about my experiences at Ground Zero after the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. We continued working together on website articles, then this book, ADHD: You’ve Got My Attention.

I am not a writer; I’m a talker. In both books, Janice took my words and organized them into a meaningful structure. Her background in working with children with special needs gave her a unique perspective on my educational experiences.

Members of the Cumberland County Community Church (NJ) writing critique group gave constant support and suggestions: Kathryn Ross, Dr. Ron Newman, Bruce Puckett, Ed Ross, Pastor Sal Roggio, and Stacy Morrow Zeiger. They encouraged me in the writing of Triumph Over Terror, then continued their support in writing this second book.

Many eyes checked over the draft manuscript for content and style. Each set of eyes approached the task in a different way. Their thoughts combined to make this book the best we could make it. Thanks to Ann Marie Borders, Megan Breedlove, Rob Cook, Susan Skoli-Duke, Scoti Springfield Domeij, Mary Eble, Barbara Haley, Dr. Edward Hallowell, Dr. Ron Newman, Jim Page, Dr. Steve Kemp, Tony Patricelli, Jennifer Peremba, Sal Roggio, Kathryn Ross, Ted Schneider, Peter Shankman, Tim Shoemaker, and Noelle Warren.

Thanks to all for your comments, kindness, and love. God bless you.

Chaplain Bob Ossler

A WORD FROM THE COAUTHOR

Like Bob, I have many people to thank, and Bob is first on the list. His constant flow of words, though at times overwhelming and sometimes random, kept our pace moving. His honesty and vulnerability about critical moments in his life touched my heart. His compassion for people shone through everything he did and said. It has been an honor to work with him.

Thanks, Sue Ossler, for giving us the time to work on this manuscript. Thanks for catching those elusive commas and apostrophes that went astray in the final draft.

My husband, Kenneth R. Heck, along with Amanda Heck and Cassandra Heck, became my cheerleaders. Their encouragement kept me working and smiling. Other family members, visiting in Florida with me for a month during the final writing and editing of this book, tiptoed around so as not to interrupt us at work.

Word Weavers group members at the 2018 Florida Christian Writers Conference and the Naples Word Weavers group read and critiqued sections of this book. Sharmin Fairbanks McKenny has been a faithful friend and commenter on the numerous drafts of this book. Scoti Springfield Domeij and Barbara Haley provided invaluable editing advice.

Thank you all for your support.

Janice Hall Heck

INTRODUCTION

ADHD: You’ve Got My Attention

At its worst, ADHD is like juggling a ball of fire, a hive of angry bees, a dozen razor-sharp knives, and a buzzing chainsaw—all while sitting on a unicycle on a wobbly high wire over a pit filled with hungry alligators. I keep trying to keep my balance . . . but . . . but . . .

At its best, ADHD is alive with ideas and ready for action. Obstacles present no problems.