A Bit of Me

By Bailey Bradford

Chase Murphy lost everything—money, his best friend, and his confidence-but one man wants to help him regain what was taken from him along with a love that Chase never expected to have and doesn't believe he deserves.

Xavier Talbot has everything a successful man should, or at least he thought he did. Suddenly he discovers that his brother is a sick sadistic jerk, the boy he found on the streets and raised for the past several years is going to give Xavier a clear understanding of empty nest syndrome', and the club he'd built up from nothing, The Xxchange, now seems like a sleazy place instead of the GLBT paradise Xavier had imagined. Then a chance encounter with one man gives Xavier a bit of hope in his rapidly depressing world.

Chase Murphy only wanted one thing—to find his best friend, James Stratton, who'd been kidnapped by a vengeful sociopath. Hurt and stranded in a town he has no intentions of staying in, Chase meets a man he wants to hate, but he can't stop thinking about Xavier Talbot no matter what he does. Slowly, seductively, the town and its inhabitants draw Chase in and make him rethink his opinion on forming friendships and the possibility of a long term relationship. He isn't sure he wants to hang around to see if things would work out, but it isn't until James is found that Chase discovers the truth about what it means to love people, as friends and, for Xavier, as a lover.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Pride Publishing
• Release date: Nov 7, 2011
• ISBN: 9780857158055

Bailey Bradford

A native Texan, Bailey spends her days spinning stories around in her head, which has contributed to more than one incident of tripping over her own feet. Evenings are reserved for pounding away at the keyboard, as are early morning hours. Sleep? Doesn't happen much. Writing is too much fun, and there are too many characters bouncing about, tapping on Bailey's brain demanding to be let out. Caffeine and chocolate are permanent fixtures in Bailey's office and are never far from hand at any given time. Removing either of those necessities from Bailey's presence can result in what is known as A Very, Very Scary Bailey and is not advised under any circumstances.

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A Total-E-Bound Publication

www.total-e-bound.com

A Bit of Me

ISBN # 978-0-85715-805-5

©Copyright Bailey Bradford 2011

Cover Art by Posh Gosh ©Copyright November 2011

Edited by Claire Siemaszkiewicz

Total-E-Bound Publishing

This is a work of fiction. All characters, places and events are from the author’s imagination and should not be confused with fact. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, events or places is purely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form, whether by printing, photocopying, scanning or otherwise without the written permission of the publisher, Total-E-Bound Publishing.

Applications should be addressed in the first instance, in writing, to Total-E-Bound Publishing. Unauthorised or restricted acts in relation to this publication may result in civil proceedings and/or criminal prosecution.

The author and illustrator have asserted their respective rights under the Copyright Designs and Patents Acts 1988 (as amended) to be identified as the author of this book and illustrator of the artwork.

Published in 2011 by Total-E-Bound Publishing, Think Tank, Ruston Way, Lincoln, LN6 7FL, United Kingdom.

Warning: This book contains sexually explicit content which is only suitable for mature readers. This story has a heat rating of Total-e-melting and a sexometer of 2.

Love in Xxchange

A BIT OF ME

Bailey Bradford

Book six in the Love in Xxchange Series

Chase Murphy lost everything—money, his best friend, and his confidence—but one man wants to help him regain what was taken from him along with a love that Chase never expected to have and doesn’t believe he deserves.

Xavier Talbot has everything a successful man should, or at least he thought he did. Suddenly he discovers that his brother is a sick sadistic jerk. The boy Xavier found on the streets and raised for the past several years is going to give him a clear understanding of ‘empty nest syndrome’. Then there’s the club he’d built up from nothing, The Xxchange, now seems like a sleazy place instead of the GLBT paradise Xavier had imagined. But a chance encounter with one man gives Xavier a bit of hope in his rapidly depressing world.

Chase Murphy only wanted one thing—to find his best friend, James Stratton, who’d been kidnapped by a vengeful sociopath. Hurt and stranded in a town he has no intentions of staying in, Chase meets a man he wants to hate, but he can’t stop thinking about Xavier Talbot no matter what he does. Slowly, seductively, the town and its inhabitants draw Chase in and make him rethink his opinion on forming friendships and the possibility of a long term relationship. He isn’t sure he wants to hang around to see if things would work out, but it isn’t until James is found that Chase discovers the truth about what it means to love people, both as friends and, for Xavier, as a lover.

Dedication

To M. S., thank you so much for the help with the title!

Trademarks Acknowledgement

The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction:

Google: Google Inc.

Stetson: Stetson Co.

Dantrolene:  JHP Pharmaceuticals LLC

Porsche: Dr. Ing. h.c. F. Porsche AG

Ramada Inn: Wyndham Hotel Group

Cops: Langley Productions

Alfa Romeo Spider: Fiat Group Automobiles S.P.A.

Viagra: Pfizer Inc.

MSN: Microsoft

Chapter One

Xavier Talbot rolled over in bed and groaned. His head was throbbing and his mouth was as dry as could be. He suspected sunlight was creeping in through the blinds, not that he was willing to open his eyes and check. It was too bright behind his eyelids for the blinds to have been pulled closed properly. Xavier dragged an arm up over his brow and winced as his muscles protested the move.

What the hell had he done last night?

A groan from beside him had Xavier’s eyes popping open. Who the hell had he done last night?

Images flashed through his mind, blurry scenes from the night before. Walking into his office, finding… Oh no!

Xavier didn’t want to look. He really, really didn’t. That didn’t stop him from craning his neck and turning his head.

His stomach lurched as blond hair tipped with blue brushed against his nose. The hair moved, his bed partner’s head tipped back, and Xavier found himself looking down into worried blue eyes. Shit!

Morning, Billy said, his voice thick with sleep and his breath ripe with the vestiges of alcohol.

Jesus! Xavier snapped to full awareness as he scrambled back, both from shock and to escape Billy’s potent morning breath. Had Xavier been a little less hungover and a lot less shocked he might not have misjudged how much mattress he had left.

As it was, he hit the floor with a resounding thud that shot through his entire body and knocked the air right out of his lungs. He wheezed, feeling like he’d been kicked in the gut. Billy peered over the edge of the bed, his eyes lit with amusement.

If I’d have batted my eyes at you and called you Big Daddy, would you have gone right through the wall?

Xavier narrowed his eyes at the little shit and then breathed a sigh of relief when he noticed Billy still had his silver shirt on. It wasn’t much of a shirt, granted, but it gave Xavier hope that he hadn’t done anything stupid, like fuck the man.

He cringed and closed his eyes. That would be like fucking his brother, and that was just…gross. But the thought spurred his brain into gear, and memories of last night came flooding back. He’d been in a foul mood because he was short staffed, because a couple of idiots had got into a fight over a twink, because the deposit from the night before hadn’t added up and he had a sneaking suspicion of why that was so—he’d had problems with his brother Randy ‘borrowing’ cash from the register before. The last thing he’d needed was to walk into his office and find Randy sitting at his desk.

Well, that was almost the last thing he’d needed. Seeing Billy’s blond and blue hair bobbing up and down had been the straw that broke the camel’s back—or Xavier’s temper.

Normally he kept a tight rein on his emotions, but finding his moronic brother using his office as a fuck room had thrown gasoline on the ember of anger boiling in his gut. And to know it was Billy Randy had been in there with—Xavier growled and opened his eyes to glare at the smaller man.

What the hell were you thinking? he snarled. Billy was like a brother to him, more so than Randy had ever been. Granted, Billy was a much younger, much more annoying, trouble-making brother—and those last two descriptions were really saying something, considering the crap Randy always seemed to stir up. But at least Billy’s brand of trouble wasn’t malicious. He was just naïve and he didn’t ever think about repercussions, whereas Randy was a bully who got off on his delusions of power.

Randy was an ass.

Billy shrugged and looked remorseful, sort of. He was hard to read sometimes. "Well, I told Randy I didn’t want to, but he wouldn’t leave me alone so I thought if I got him off he’d just shut up. It seemed like the quickest way to get him to go away."

Xavier groaned again and smacked his forehead, something he regretted immediately. He was surprised his eyeballs didn’t shoot right out of their sockets. Billy, I told you—

I know, I know, Billy said, then sighed noisily. I’m supposed to come get you if Randy’s being a dick. But you were busy, and you were all…snarly. You know I don’t like snarly. It cancels out my happy.

Oh my hell! How the—Billy, sucking off Randy doesn’t cancel out your ‘happy’? Seriously? He would never, ever understand this man’s way of thinking! Trying to watch out for Billy was going to be the death of him.

Billy huffed and slid off the bed to lie on the floor beside him, his head propped up on one hand. The serious expression on his face was so out of place Xavier could only gape at the little blond.

I figured you had enough to deal with already, he admitted, and something Xavier never wanted to see again flickered across Billy’s face. He’d never seen the man look ashamed before, and it made Xavier ashamed as well. It was his fault Billy had been…servicing Randy. If he’d kept his shit together last night instead of being ‘snarly’, Billy wouldn’t have felt the need to handle Randy on his own.

Anyway, it wasn’t so bad, Billy continued, although the downturn of his lips said otherwise. Randy’s an ass, and he’s rough and—

Stop! Xavier didn’t want to hear the details. He’d already had the visual—walking in, finding Randy pummelling into Billy’s mouth, the gagging noises flooding his ears as Billy pushed at Randy’s thighs.

That explained the soreness in the rest of Xavier’s body. He’d beaten the fuck right out of Randy, but not without taking some damage himself. Then he’d proceeded to get miserably drunk, and then…

How’d we get home? Xavier frowned. And why are you here? Billy lived in the apartment over the garage, had for a few years now.

Billy sat up, looking surprisingly good despite the prior night’s events. No one would know that that cute face was backed by dragon breath right now, either. The man looked damned angelic when he smiled.

We got drunk—well, I got drunk, you got shit-faced, Billy corrected. I didn’t want you to, you know, like, choke to death on your own puke or anything, so I called a cab and came home with you.

Xavier was fairly certain he hadn’t been that drunk. Had he?

Billy bounced on his butt and clapped his hands together, setting off a thunderous explosion of pain in Xavier’s head. Oh! Maybe I even saved your life! Does that mean you owe me?

An exuberant Billy was too much to take this early in the morning—or whatever time it was. Xavier levelled a glare on the man to no avail. Did I throw up, Billy? Because I don’t remember throwing up, and if I didn’t throw up, or if I did and made it out of bed and to the bathroom on my own, then no, I don’t think my life was in any danger.

Billy frowned and stopped bouncing. "I really wish I could lie, but you know I suck at it. As drunk as you were, I think it’s a miracle you remember anything."

Xavier agreed, not that he’d say so. I’m just a miraculous guy.

Yeah, Billy snorted, and hopped up. Can I use your toothbrush?

Xavier opened his mouth to say no but Billy was already in the bathroom. Fuck it, he’d just buy a new toothbrush.

While Billy was busy, Xavier managed to pull himself up off the floor and onto the bed. He contemplated going back to sleep for a few more hours since it was barely ten a.m., but there were things he needed to do. Like make sure he hadn’t hurt Randy too badly. The ass was still his brother, after all, though as far as Xavier was concerned Randy was banned from the club. And anyone who let him in would answer for it. There was also the matter of his office. He seemed to remember the place looking like a tornado had blown through it.

The bathroom door opened and Billy stepped out, looking entirely too happy until he glanced at Xavier. You look like shit.

Xavier scowled at the way too perky man and levered himself up off the bed. He might have appeared more intimidating if he hadn’t immediately stumbled. Xavier caught himself with one hand on the headboard. Billy smirked and Xavier glowered.

Seriously, dude, you look pretty bad. You’re too old to be getting shit-faced. Billy came over and held out his hand. Need some help getting to the bathroom?

Being called ‘dude’ never did anything other than ramp up his irritation, and the crack about his age didn’t improve Xavier’s mood any, either. No, he snapped, pushing Billy’s hand away. "I do not need help! Go see if you can figure out how to make some coffee." If he had to be around the exuberant man without caffeine, Xavier wouldn’t be able to resist turning Billy over his knee—and Billy wasn’t into spanking, or any other kind of BDSM, which was a shame. Xavier thought a daily spanking would do the man a world of good.

Billy’s smirk intensified. Make that twice-daily spankings. And I am not old! Xavier winced and decided he’d done enough yelling this morning. All Billy had tried to do was help him—and get in a few teasing barbs. Xavier sighed and pressed his hands to his eyes. Go make the damn coffee.

* * * *

He’d been an idiot to think an all-white bathroom was a good idea. Didn’t matter if the countertop—along with the toilet and separate hot tub—were made of marble, if the fixtures gleamed in the way only expensive ones did, the room was too damned bright. He should have gone with taupe or a dull industrial grey. Too late now. The bathroom had been fine up until now. How is it that alcohol can make the colour burn my retinas? Like being snow-blind without the snow. Or cold.

Stop being a baby. And God, even his own voice sounded like a gong in his head. Maybe getting clean would make him feel better. It sure couldn’t make him feel any worse.

Xavier took his time in the bathroom, because Billy was right, he did look like shit. His jaw was bruised and he had several marks on his chest and stomach, and, from what he could see when turning himself into a human pretzel to look in the mirror, on his back.

He had definitely been off his game last night. Usually Randy didn’t get in more than a couple of punches. Xavier had thought Randy had been looking a bit soft around the middle, but maybe he’d been wrong. Randy had obviously been in good enough shape to beat the tar out of him.

He spotted the bottle of aspirin on the counter and quickly took four of them. Bending to drink from the faucet made his head spin, and Xavier figured he was lucky he managed not to keel over. He remained hunched as he finger-brushed his teeth—his toothbrush was still wet from Billy using it.

Xavier stood slowly and grabbed the bottle of mouthwash. He turned on the shower as hot as he thought he could stand it then stepped inside the enclosure. The stinging water pelted him, working at his sore muscles. Xavier turned carefully and let it work its magic on his front.

Once he felt a little less miserable, he took the cap off the mouthwash and rinsed away the last traces of the alcohol that had lingered in his mouth. Then he proceeded to scrub off the grungy feeling getting drunk always left on his skin.

When he washed his hair, he found a knot at the side of his head that made him wince. Apparently his head wasn’t just hurting from too much liquor. Randy had clocked him good, the asshole.

Xavier finished showering and turned the water off. He didn’t want to risk bending over to pick the mouthwash up from where he’d dropped it so he left it there and got out. After a quick towelling, he walked into his bedroom and promptly shoved his hands over his cock and balls. And glared. Something he seemed to be doing a lot of this morning.

Billy beamed at him from the foot of the bed. I made you coffee and toast. You look pretty good naked. Your dick’s bigger than Randy’s.

The combination of Randy’s dick in any context and the thought of food made Xavier’s stomach heave. He was glad he’d left the door open, otherwise he’d have smacked into it as he darted back into the bathroom. Coming to a skidding stop on his knees, Xavier grabbed the porcelain bowl just in time to empty out his stomach.

Ew.

Xavier lifted his head and, sticking with the morning’s pattern, glared over his shoulder at Billy, who merely raised his nearly colourless eyebrows at him. Xavier turned back to the toilet and crossed his arms over the bowl before dropping his head on top of them.

Hey.

Xavier was too beat to even twitch as Billy petted his back. I’m sorry. I should have just come and got you last night.

Billy was always sorry. That he meant it sincerely didn’t nullify the fact that he’d do something equally as thoughtless again. It also didn’t eradicate Xavier’s own responsibility in this whole mess. And it certainly didn’t excuse Randy. Xavier wanted to hit Randy all over again, this time while he was sober.

I shouldn’t have been a dick, Xavier muttered. I know better than to let things get to me like that.

If you’d get laid more often, you wouldn’t be so tense, Billy informed him. As much as Xavier would have liked to argue that point, he couldn’t. He’d had a…dry spell, that’s all it was. You’re too picky, Billy went on, still stroking Xavier’s back. You used to fuck at least one different guy a night, remember? And they were all willing to let you do whatever you wanted to them, weren’t they?

Yeah. They had been, and Xavier had gorged himself on all the available ass for a while before he’d grown tired of it. Kind of like when he’d been a kid and had eaten four funnel cakes at the county fair. Xavier had puked for hours, it’d seemed like, and even though that had been twenty-six years ago, he still couldn’t even stand to smell funnel cakes. Well, he wasn’t that sick of easy fucks, he was just…too mature to keep acting like that. Mature, not old. Hell, he was only thirty-seven!

Billy, vibrant drama queen that he was, slapped a hand to his chest and widened his eyes as he fluttered his lashes. Oh no! Tell me you haven’t—he gasped, tipping his head back and pressing his hand to his forehead—grown up! Say it ain’t so!

Xavier snickered despite his best effort not to. He slapped Billy’s ass hard enough to make the man yelp and turn those baby blues on him. Enough already. First I’m old, then I’m a loser for not getting laid, then it’s—horrors!—I’ve finally grown up! I’m pretty sure you’ve gotten in your potshots for the day.

Billy harrumphed and folded his arms over his chest. That’s what you get for not being decent enough to let me be a hero and save you from choking on your own puke. Billy’s teasing smile faded and he looked so serious it was kind of creepy. Teasing aside, I wish you’d find someone, Xav. You don’t even give guys a chance anymore.

Xavier knew where this discussion was headed and he wasn’t interested. Every time Billy started down this path it turned into an argument, with Billy huffing off and pouting until Xavier caved and took him shopping. It was expensive, too, so it’d be best to distract Billy now before he went on a rant. Would you warm up the coffee for me?

Billy narrowed his eyes at him when Xavier turned around. Don’t think I don’t know what you’re up to. If you didn’t look like death warmed over, I wouldn’t fall for it. But since you do, I’ll be nice—this time. He started to walk away, then stopped at the bathroom door, half facing Xavier. But you still need someone to come home to, someone to take care of you.

Then Billy left him there, leaning against the cabinet, shocked by the serious tone that delivered those words. He shook his head, thinking his alcohol-saturated brain cells must have imagined Billy using that tone.

And besides, Billy was the one who needed a keeper, someone with enough patience not to crush that vibrant spirit which irritated the hell out of Xavier sometimes. Not a Dom, since Billy was not, as he’d say, ‘into that freaky stuff’.

Coffee’s ready, Billy hollered from the other room. He sounded like his normal perky self again.

Xavier sighed and pressed a hand to his stomach. He had things to do, a brother to check on, and an office to refurnish—eventually. It was time to face up to the repercussions of last night’s stupidity.

Chapter Two

Looks like Dr Nichols is going to sign your release forms today, Josh said as he came into the room. Chase looked at the man—his friend, he supposed, although he wasn’t really sure. He got the impression he made Josh nervous, which was proof the guy was smart as well as attractive. Chase knew he was a little…off. A couple of cards short of a deck, only had one oar in the water, a brick shy of a full load…

So, where are you going after this? Josh asked, fussing over him. Chase wanted to shrug off the stupid blood pressure cuff, but he’d learned quickly that Josh was as tenacious as a mama bear guarding her cubs when it came to his patients. And about as gentle. More than once Chase’d had his knuckles rapped for trying to stick his hand where it didn’t belong. It was part of the reason he kind of liked Josh; he didn’t put up with any of Chase’s crap, even if, at times, Chase was certain Josh would screech if he yelled ‘Boo!’. He shrugged, which earned him a glare.

Keep still, Josh ordered.

Then don’t ask me questions, Chase grumbled right back as he closed his eyes. Otherwise I’m gonna think you’re doing it just so you can smack me around after.

I didn’t smack you around this time.

Chase tried really hard not to grin as he opened his eyes just enough to see Josh’s pout. Josh was too easy to get riled up sometimes. It was fun. ‘This time’ is right. Don’t know what you’re gonna do once I’m gone. You’ll have to find a new patient to take out your anger issues on. Three, two, one—

Josh’s pout morphed to indignation instantaneously. "I do not have anger issues! I’ll have you know, I’m a happy guy, and—"

Chase turned his head to look out the window as he tuned out Josh’s rant. At least it’d diverted him away from questioning Chase. The truth was, he didn’t know where he would go or what he’d do. Everything he’d had, the one friend he trusted, was gone. He was in an untenable situation, his pride more battered than his body. Hell, he even had to apply for the Indigent Care programme at the hospital because he couldn’t afford his medical bills. If that got turned down, he didn’t know what he was going to do, but taking charity like that about killed him, but he didn’t have any other choice.

And why? Because James Stratton, the one man Chase trusted, had asked for his help in bringing down a rapist. They had succeeded with a little extra help from an acquaintance, Adam Masterson. In return, their lives had been shattered. In James’ case, maybe even ended, and God, it hurt to think that, but James was still missing, had been for weeks.

Chase needed to find him. He owed James, it was as simple as that. It’d be easier to do if Rollins hadn’t managed to empty out and close Chase’s bank account, and strip him of everything he had, including his confidence. Still, he’d figure something out. If James was alive, he might be holed up somewhere and unaware of Rollins Sr’s death.

And if he was dead… Well, if James was dead, Chase would find a way to make sure Mitch Rollins paid for it. It was that bastard’s twisted behaviour that had brought down so many other people’s lives. Mitch had tried to sexually assault Adam, which had landed Adam in jail when he’d beaten Mitch’s ass.

It was one of those too common cases where money trumps justice. Mitch Rollins was a spoilt brat whose daddy had more money than morals. Rollins Sr had covered up his son’s crimes for years, bribing victims and cops alike, or threatening them to make sure Mitch was never held accountable for what he’d done. Adam hadn’t been the first, but with James’ help—and Chase and Adam’s—they’d made sure Mitch wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone again. His daddy had retaliated with all the money and power he had, destroying lives and running Chase, Adam, and Adam’s mom Charlene out of Billings. And he’d seen to it that Adam and Chase had both got the shit beaten out of them. Chase more than once.

The last assault had occurred when he’d come to Texas looking for James, hoping his friend would be hiding out here. James had mentioned Josh’s partner Nick, and it’d been a slim hope that James would be here, but it’d been the only hope Chase’d had. He’d been jumped outside Josh’s apartment and it’d been bad enough to land him in the hospital. Again. Maybe he’d go after the asshole even if James was alive and kicking it in the Bahamas.

"Don’t think I didn’t notice that you haven’t answered my