Dandelion Wishes

By Vicki Connellan

How many times did you let someone break your heart before you stopped forgiving them?

How many times did you let yourself hope for things to change, before you gave up and moved on?

How long do you keep loving someone after they were gone?

Marnie had lost people she loved, some weren't able to come back, others, one in particular, well, he stayed away by choice, and that hurt. It hurt every day, even six years on. It still hurt. Nevertheless, facing the man again was inevitable. Sharing her secret with him was inevitable. Still loving the man who had captured her heart since the day they met, that was inevitable too, after all, the heart wants what the heart wants. But forgiving Reed Tucker for walking out of her life and not looking back, well, that was another story. Marnie might still be in love with her childhood sweetheart, but that meant nothing if she couldn't trust the man, or forgive him, and right now, she could do neither of those things.

There hadn't been a day go by in the past six years where Reed Tucker hadn't thought about Marnie. In the beginning, he missed her like crazy, now, all he did was wonder if she would ever forgive him for cutting her and his father out of his life. He doubted it. Marnie had always been strong willed, and if she thought you'd wronged her, then you had little chance of a future with her in it, and boy had he wronged her. Now, six years on, Reed had to face the woman he loved, and own up to the actions of his past. The only thing was, would he be able to walk away again, especially once he discovered the secret his father and Marnie had kept from him all these years.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Vicki Connellan
• Release date: Dec 3, 2019
• ISBN: 9780648443940

Vicki Connellan

Vicki was born in Orange, NSW. When she was two years old her family moved to Dapto, a southern suburb of Wollongong. She was kicked out of pre-school at the age of four (for reasons that she will keep to herself).   When she was sixteen she moved with her parents and two sisters (Vicki is the typically misunderstood middle child) to the ACT where, ironically she studied Child Care so she could work in a pre-school. Now, at the age of 45 she still lives in Canberra with her husband and three adult/teenage children.   Vicki works full time (not in the child care industry!) and is an avid baker. She spends her time taxiing her kids around and baking cup cakes for all the kids who constantly fill the house.    Vicki has always enjoyed writing and is now taking the time to put her stories to print.  You can contact Vicki via email at [e-mail] with any questions or  feedback on her book.  If you enjoyed the book please take the time to leave a quick review. 

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Prologue

Reed

The heat in the shearing shed was stifling.

This town was stifling.

Everything about my life was stifling. Everything except Marnie. She was the only thing I liked about this town, and I couldn't wait for us to get away.  

From the day Marnie and her mother had moved into the cottage on the farm next door, my life had changed. She got me. Not many people got me, but Marnie did. We were twelve years old, and I fell in love with her from the first smile.

I remembered back to the first time I told my mother that I was in love with Marnie, and that I was going to marry her one day. The look on my mother’s face was something I’ll never forget. She pulled me into a hug and told me that finding the one person who completed you was the most valuable thing in the world, and once you found that person, you held onto them, and treated them like the precious gem they were. That was ten years ago, I was twelve years old then, and now, at twenty-two, I was still as much in love with Marnie as I was then.

All my life I’d only ever known the farm. The smell of sheep was everywhere. In my clothes, in my house, in my car. Everywhere. I couldn't get away from it, and I hated it. Marnie understood that. She got that just because my father was a sheep farmer, the same as his father before him, it didn't mean that I couldn't go after something more, something that would make me happy. She’d encouraged me, pushed me, helped me. She knew how much it meant to me to pursue my dreams, just as I helped her to pursue hers. I’d only finished my degree before Marnie because I took on extra units, but she’d be finished her teaching degree soon, then she’d be able to get a job in any school in the city. We’d both be living our dreams, and the best part was, we’d be living them together.

School was one place that I really applied myself. It was my way out, my way off this farm and out of this town, and I’d never be coming back. Everyone was surprised when I graduated high school with a university entrance score to rival those of the smart private school kids in the expensive city schools, but I wasn't. I knew I would do okay on my exams, I had to. It was the same with university for the past four years, and now, all my hard work had paid off. At least I hoped it had. Even though my degree was done via distance education, most of it done online with only the exams being sat on the university campus, it was still a recognised university degree, one that I was damn proud of.

I’d already checked the computer four times today. No email yet, but I knew it would come by the end of the day. Four long years of study, mixed in with shearing seasons, lambing seasons, dealing with drought, disease, low market prices for the stock, lost sheep, long sleepless nights, bank managers, and all the rest. I was over it. Long over it. I had no idea why my father persisted with sheep farming, it was draining, physically, emotionally and mentally.

I’d emailed out my resume, a copy of my business and marketing degree, along with my results, showing I graduated all classes with honours. Three of the four companies had already replied to let me know they weren’t hiring at the moment, but that was okay, they were my back up plan. The company I really wanted to work for were still considering my application, and they said I’d have an answer by the end of the week. Given today was Friday, it had to come today.

You almost done with that one? My father called from the door of the shearing shed.

Almost, I clipped off the last of the wool coat and let the sheep go, shoving it towards the exit ramp. How many more? I stood and stretched out my back. No wonder the old man wasn't up to this anymore. He’d been hunched over sheep like this since he was old enough to hold a pair of clippers, just like I had been. Only his life was more than double that of mine. At fifty-five, he was still young by anyone’s standards, but years of hard physical work seven days a week had taken its toll on him, and it showed.

Five, then we're done for the day, he shoved another ewe my way.

Let’s get this done, I’ve got emails to check, I grabbed the ewe and flipped her over onto her back as my father walked off mumbling about me not appreciating what I had. It wasn't that I didn't appreciate what I had, or the life I’d been given, hell, I knew I was luckier than some, but it didn't mean I wanted to be a sheep farmer for the rest of my life. I shook my head and swore at the struggling ewe. Stay still damn it, it’ll be over faster if you just stay still.

By the time I had the last sheep done, it was just past four in the afternoon, and I was busting to get to my computer. First stop though was a shower. I stunk of sheep and sweat, so much so that even I couldn't stand the smell of me. It was disgusting.

You’re still busting to get out of here aren’t you? my father didn't look at me as we walked back to the house. Is it really that bad, living here, living with me? Now he looked sideways at me. It had just been the two of us since my mother had passed away three years ago. I know he missed her, because I missed her just as much. We can build you your own place if that’s what it is, a place for you and Marnie to set up a home, make it your own, there’s plenty of land for another house.

I let out a long breath. We’d been over this so many times, but he just didn't get it. Not like Marnie did. Dad, it’s not you, it’s this farm, this life, it’s just not what I want.

We can hire someone, someone to come in and help, he stopped when we reached the porch steps. I know I’ve not been much use with the shearing lately, not with my back and all, but we can get someone in to help with the work, take some of the load off you.

Dad you could get a hundred men in to help, but it wouldn't change my mind. I want a career in business, I’m wired for that kind of work, not this, I waved my hand towards the shearing shed. I know the farm’s been in the family for generations, and who knows, one day I might have kids that will want to take on the family farm, but it’s not for me, it never has been. Besides, I looked back at him. With the drought, and the price of feed, we can’t afford to get in shearers, let alone a full time farm hand, I turned and went up the steps. You’ll need to hire a replacement for me, which I’ll pay for seeing as though I’m the one leaving you without the help.

No bother, I don't want your charity, nor do I need it, he stormed past me and headed straight for the beer fridge in the laundry. I’ve been managing well for the past thirty years, I’ll be fine on my own, and with that he signalled that the conversation was over. There was no point in trying to make him see reason now, he had his back up, and there was no coming back from that, not until he’d mulled things over in his head for a while and was ready to listen.

AN HOUR LATER, I SAT staring at my computer screen. I got the job. I got the job I’d been working towards since I started high school. I wanted to scream and shout, to fist pump the air, to cheer like there was no tomorrow, but my father was still hurting from our conversation earlier, and I didn't want to rub salt into his wounds. As happy as I was on the inside, I knew I needed to break the news to him gently, just as Marnie would to her mother.

I sent Marnie a text asking how they were getting on. She’d taken her mother into town to see the doctor. Joyce had been feeling off for over a month, and last week Marnie had finally convinced her that a doctor’s visit was necessary. Joyce had gotten a call from the doctor to go back in for the results, something I knew Marnie was stressing about. She had herself convinced it was something bad, as if it wasn't, the doctor would have told them the results over the phone.

Marnie’s reply was instant. She said they had just finished and were going to Arleen’s Diner for a coffee, and then they’d be home. I went back to the computer and read over the email again. They wanted me to start Monday next week. So I had one week to wrap things up here, say goodbye to my mates, find a place to rent in Sydney, get some new suits. The one suit I had was a couple of years old, and the jeans and flannel shirt wouldn't cut it in the office. I could hardly go to work dressed like this, or stinking of sheep. I laughed at the thought.

After typing out a reply thanking them for the job offer, and letting them know I’d be there the following Monday, I got online and started looking for places to rent. Marnie had said that she didn't care where we lived, as she’d be doing all of her studies from home anyway, so I chose a nice apartment in the city. It was right in the heart of the city, only two blocks from my new workplace. The rent was astronomical, but it’d be worth it in the long-run, as I’d save on parking and the cost of driving into work every day. Once I sent off the rental application I went to talk to my father. This was one conversation that wouldn't go well, even though he knew it was coming. It was like he’d been in denial, hoping that I’d suddenly change my mind and decide to stay and be a sheep farmer, which was never going to happen, not in this lifetime.

MARNIE

Mum had kept the conversation light when we were in the diner, and the car ride home was mostly made in silence.

Cancer. The same dreaded disease that had taken my father when I was only young, and now it was taking my mother, only it was a different variety.

I’ll be okay love, you’ll see, we’ll fight it, and we’ll beat it, she reached over for my hand and gave it a squeeze.

We will, I smiled back at her, and if she could tell that I was putting as much effort into that smile as I was into holding back my tears, she didn't say anything.

You don’t sound convinced, my mother looked at me and shook her head. You know how I like to get my way all the time, well it’s the same with this cancer. You and I have been through tougher battles than this my girl, we’ll get through this, together.

Together. That was the thing. Reed was expecting to hear about that job any day now, and we had plans to move to the city. There was no way I could ask him to give up his dream job and stay, and there was no way I could go with him, not now.

I wiped at the first tear as it rolled down my cheek, and I wiped at the second, then the third, then I gave up.

Oh don’t cry love, we’ll be fine, you have to believe that we’ll be okay, no matter what, Mum reached over for my hand again.

I looked sideways at her and shook my head. The look she was giving me right now was the same look I got when I was in trouble, and I couldn't help it, the laughter started, and it wouldn’t stop. After a few seconds, Mum shook her head and started laughing too.

If there’s anyone stubborn enough to beat this it’s you, I stopped the car at the driveway to Reed’s family farm, then I leant over and kissed my mum. Will you be right if I jump out here? I want to go see Reed.

Mum already had her seatbelt undone and the door open. As we crossed at the front of the car, I pulled her into a hug. I love you Mum.

I love you too my girl, she rubbed my shoulders then stepped back. Now go see that man of yours, and tell Joe he’s welcome to stop by for a drink this afternoon if he’s got the time. I’ll tell him about our news, she gave me a sad little smile.

I’ll let him know, I gave her a little wave and headed for the gate.

Mum and Joe thought that Reed and I didn’t know about their little friends with benefits arrangement, but we did, and had done for some time. It was about two years ago when we first discovered what they got up to when they ‘met up for a drink’. At first, I didn't want to think about it, but after a while it didn't bother me any more. I mean, a girl has needs, and at least Mum was getting some without bringing home random men, that was a plus in my book.

As I walked the long track up to Joe and Reed’s house, I thought about how Mum’s diagnosis changed everything, and the tears fell again. Maybe Reed and I could do the long distance relationship thing, then once Mum had beaten the cancer I could join him in the city. That would work. It had to.

Hey, I looked up at the sound of Reed’s voice as he rose from where he sat on the porch. How’d you go at the doctors, is your Mum okay?

As soon as he saw the tears streaming from my eyes, he grabbed a hold of me and practically crushed me to his big frame. Marnie, what’s wrong?

Mum, she has cancer, I stepped out of his hold and looked up into his steel blue eyes. Those damn eyes got me every time. They were like little pools of crystal blue water, I’d never seen eyes like them before I met Reed. Breast cancer, I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Damn, he pulled me back into his arms and held me tight, and it was exactly what I needed right now.

We stood there in front of his house like that for what seemed like an eternity, and that was fine by me. Right now I wanted nothing more than to be held by the man I loved.

Once I had myself composed, I stepped back and looked up at Reed again. Did you hear about the job? Did you get it?

I did, start Monday next week, his face lit up with that gorgeous smile that I loved. His whole face was a picture of excitement. I’ve sent off a rental application for an apartment in the city. The rent’s a bit expensive but I’ll be on good money, and you can study from home just like you’ve been doing already.

I took a step back. Reed, I can’t go now, not with Mum being sick, his face dropped immediately. I’m not asking you to stay, I would never do that to you, I reached forward for his hands and took them in mine. I’ll stay with Mum until she’s been through all the chemo and beaten this damn cancer, then I’ll come join you in the city. We can talk on the phone every day, and video chat, and we can visit each other on weekends.

Reed didn't say anything, but he did pull me back into a hug and held me tight.

I’m going to miss you, he kissed my head and stepped back, holding out his hand to me. It’ll be weird not seeing you every day.

I fell into step beside him, and I knew in an instant where he was leading us. It will, I moved closer to his side and held his hand tight. Hopefully it won’t be for long, six months maybe.

Mmm, I’m not sure if I’ll last that long without you in my bed, he kissed my head and gave me a cheeky smile.

Well you’ll just have to, don't you dare go getting any ideas about dumping me for a city girl, I pinched his butt hard. Why don't we go up into the hay loft and I’ll give you something to keep you going for a while.

Sweetheart, I would never in a million years think about dumping you for anyone, he lifted my chin and kissed me softly. I love you Marnie, you and only you. One day we’ll be married and you’ll be stuck with me forever.

Promise, I looked up into those blue eyes and searched them for the answer I needed.

Reed rested his forehead on mine and brushed his thumb down my cheek. I promise, he leant in and kissed me softly.

It had been one hell of a week, and today was the day I’d been dreading the most. It was Saturday morning and Reed had his truck all packed up with everything he could fit. He planned to get settled into the apartment this afternoon and go shopping for new suits tomorrow, before starting his new job the day after. One of the benefits of city living I guess was being able to go suit shopping on a Sunday.

Mum and I had come over to Joe and Reed’s farm for breakfast before seeing Reed off, and the only one who seemed to be excited about the day was Reed. It was hard to be enthusiastic about saying goodbye to the love of your life, even if it was only temporary.

We’d just finished a very quiet sombre breakfast when a car horn blasted outside. First one horn, then another, and another, so we all headed for the front door. As soon as I stepped out from behind Reed, my eyes widened.

There, parked in the farmyard, were at least twenty utes and trucks of various makes, but they all had one thing in common, they were all covered in dirt, and each one held at least two of our friends.

We came to escort you out of town, Jase walked towards us, his hat in his hand. And to remind you not to forget about us.

How could I ever forget about you lot, Reed laughed and slapped his best friend on the shoulder, and Jase did the same in return. It was their male bonding ritual, one that went back to the beginning of man I expect. And you're just in time, I’m about to head off.

I inched closer to Reed and slipped my hand into his. So the time had come, he was really leaving. I’ll help you with your last bag, I pulled him back into the house, and our friends let out a chorus of whistles and cheers as the door closed behind us.

Please don’t cry baby, Reed held my face in his hands and wiped away my tears with his thumbs. Your mum will be better soon and you’ll be in the city with me before you know it.

I know, I sucked in a deep breath and looked up at him. I wanted to have those baby blue eyes cemented in my mind. Kiss me.

Reed gave me a little smile as he lowered his lips to mine. As soon as they connected my whole body started to tingle, it had always been that way with him, always. He could set me on fire with just one touch, and I loved it.

I love you Reed Joseph Tucker, don't you ever forget that, I held onto his wrists as he kept a hold of my face, wiping away my tears.

And I love you Marnie Anne Grant, don't you ever forget that, he kissed me again, slowly, softly. I love you.

I followed Reed back onto the porch, and again, we were greeted with cheers and whistles.

Very funny, Reed laughed at them all. Bye Dad, he turned and hugged his father, holding him tight for a minute before letting go and stepping back.

Bye son, Joe gave a short nod then stepped back. He was fighting his emotions just like the rest of us were.

Bye Joyce, good luck with your treatments, he hugged my mother then stepped back. You’ll be fine, you need to be, he grinned at her. The old man will miss you too much if he can’t come visit you, Reed winked at her and she swatted at his arm.

Get out of here you cheeky bugger, she pulled him into one last hug then kissed his cheek. I love you. Mum wiped the lipstick off his cheek then stepped back next to Joe and wiped at her tears.

Reed turned and looked at me one last time before descending the stairs and shaking the hands of all of our friends. More than once I heard him tell them to take care of Joe and I for him, and they all said they would.

He gave us one last wave as he got into his truck and turned the key. Mum, Joe and I watched as the procession drove down the long driveway and disappeared out of view, and my tears fell all over again.

I knew we’d only be apart temporarily, but for some reason, it felt more like a final goodbye, and right now, my chest hurt like it never had before.

Chapter 1

Almost Six Years Later

Marnie

Come on RJ or we’ll be late for your first day, I called to my son. He was so excited for his first day of school, and so was I. I had so much work to do with the festival committee that it wasn't funny. The first of our three big music festivals was only four weeks away, and there was still so much to organise. Having RJ at school would free up most of my day.

I’m ready, I turned to see my son standing in the doorway, his backpack on, his shirt neatly tucked in, and a huge smile on his face.

Oh baby, you look so grown up, I went and knelt in front of him. Give me a hug, I pulled him into me and held him tight as I fought back the tears.

Mum, he was trying to wriggle from my hold. You're squashing me.

I let him go then reached for my phone. I need a photo of your first day of school, then we have just enough time to go see Grandpa, maybe he’ll be up to coming with us this morning.

I hope so, then I’ll have two people taking me to school, like all the other kids who have a mum and a dad, RJ looked up at me. Do you think I’ll have a dad one day?

You have a dad baby, it’s just that he doesn't live with us, he lives in the city, I took his hand and led him out of the house. His questions about his father were becoming more and more frequent since he started pre-school last year. Once he realised that most kids had two parents, he hadn't let up about it. I thought we were doing okay, I looked at him as I opened the car door. We’re doing okay on our own aren’t we?

Once I was in the car, he buckled up his seatbelt and looked at me. Yep, we are. But I want a dad too.

We headed out of our farm gate and turned into the one next door. I really hoped Joe was up to it today. He’d promised RJ that he’d do his best, and I knew he would, unlike his son, Joe always kept his promises. But his time was running out, I knew it, and so