The New Woman: 9 Ways to Live the Life of Your Dreams

By Florence Ng, Raymond Aaron and Loral Langemeier

The New Woman is a series of 9 lessons to help you understand, create, and live your dream life. From developing your awareness to understanding authentic communication to gaining more self-esteem, Florence Ng has created a process that will help every woman, regardless of age, work through their limiting beliefs and feel great about themselves. It is never too late to recognize how worthy you are and how important your life is. It is time to put yourself first. It is time to dream the dreams and live the dreams you forgot you had. It's time to take action. You can live your dream life too!

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Sep 11, 2019
• ISBN: 9781772773057

Book preview

Maker

CHAPTER 1

Living in a State of Openness

The Chicken or the Egg

What came first?

We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.

—Jawaharlal Nehru

Have you ever experienced one of those moments in life that knocks your beliefs so completely that you are forced into an awareness that maybe, just maybe, you don’t want to acknowledge? These moments force you to stop and take a good look at your life.

I have had two such instances occur in my life. There are probably more, but these two are the ones that had a profound effect on my life that they inspired me to shift my career working with women who want to live their very best lives.

If your answer to this is no, do you think there is a possibility that you weren’t open to receiving the information? Do you think that maybe, just maybe, that lesson you didn’t want to learn could have helped push you to a greater place of awareness? Is it possible that your closed mind stopped you from reaching out beyond the limits you place on yourself?

This is where I got stuck when contemplating my starting place for this book. At first I was completely confident: awareness was hands down, without a doubt, the place to start! But as I started writing about my life-changing moments I wondered, But what would’ve happened in those moments if I wasn’t open to receiving the message? Would I have been able to achieve the awareness I needed to recognize the significance of the event, learn the lesson, and move forward in a state of awareness to a better place?

This thought pattern created a bit of What came first, the chicken or the egg? moment for me. At first I thought it was awareness and I then I thought, No, no it must be openness and then I thought… See what I mean. Is it openness or awareness?

Let me explain where I landed on this by sharing one of those pivotal life moments with you:

Growing up, I always looked up to my mom. She taught me what it meant to work hard, to put loved ones first, and to be patient. She instilled in me a very strong work ethic, to be selfless, and to not give up. That work ethic has served me well at times and not so well at other times, but this is a topic for a later time!

For now, let me share with you a memory from a time we laughed and laughed. Sadly, she doesn’t remember it, but it’s such a strong one for me. I think it’s because my mom was always so stressed about the business that she rarely laughed. It made me happy when she laughed. It made me happier when she laughed with me. The moment was actually so simple:

I am Chinese. I grew up in the Philippines and went to a Chinese Catholic school there. Everything about that school was so strict, from teachers to the rules themselves. The teachers scolded students who came to class late, and sometimes, they would ask you to step out of the class and stand on the bridge if you had been late too many times. If you didn’t make it in by the time the gate closed, you were late, no excuses. On this particular day, my mom and I were running late! As the gate began to close, we started to run as fast as we could. One quarter closed, and then half and then…. nooooooo. We both broke out into so much laughter when we got to the gate because we were so out of breath and relieved at the same time.

I think I always wanted to be closer to my mom and thought that if my dad helped her more and got mad at her less, we could have had a closer relationship. I’ve always hated the way my dad yelled at my mom. They didn’t share the same perspective on everything—the business or life really—and their personalities were so different that when things got stressful, the yelling started. Sometimes things actually didn’t even have to get stressful for the yelling to start; it was just his go-to emotion and it made me scared, angry, and sad. The yelling wasn’t right, and that was the bottom line for me.

One morning, when I was well into my adult life, my mom was crying after a particularly mean yelling session. It got to me, as it always did. I just didn’t get it. Why stay? There is so much life to live in this whole big, beautiful world. Why would my mom limit herself? Why would she stay stuck in a situation that made her miserable?

This day was a breaking point for me! I didn’t talk to her about how I was feeling that day. It wasn’t until we were spending time together at my parents’ home in Milpitas that I finally said to her, We are all adults. I would understand it if you want to leave him. I just want you to be happy.

She shook her head. Why? Why do you put up with this when it’s very clear that you are unhappy? She looked sad and resigned, It’s too late for me.

Her words broke my heart. She was only 62 at the time and to me that is still so young! In fact, it doesn’t matter how old you are… it is never, ever too late, or too early for that matter, to live the life that makes you happy.

There is no wrong time for change.

There is no wrong time to grow.

There is no wrong time to do something new.

There is no wrong time to get excited about your life.

There is no right time to give up!

Every single moment of every single day that you exist on this planet IS the RIGHT TIME to make your life a priority.

Every single moment of every single day that you exist on this planet IS the RIGHT TIME to be OPEN to change.

Every single moment of every single day that you exist on this planet IS the RIGHT TIME to be OPEN to love.

Every single moment of every single day that you exist on this planet IS the RIGHT TIME to be OPEN to adventure.

Every single moment of every single day that you exist on this planet IS the RIGHT TIME to be OPEN to living a LIFE THAT YOU LOVE.

In that moment, I comforted her. I realized that she might be happier staying with him because if she left him she’d be lost. Her perspective on what she needed in life might be far different from mine and so I needed to respect that.

If you do think that it’s too late for you, I want to say that IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO LIVE THE LIFE OF YOUR DREAMS!

Please don’t ever give up on yourself! You will find hope if you are OPEN to seeing it. This is why I have decided that in order to achieve awareness you have to be open first. You can allow the awareness in if you are open to receiving new ideas. I didn’t understand why my mom was staying with my dad when I thought she could be happier on her own.

My dad yelled a lot and my mom cried a lot; this was nothing new. I could have just comforted my mom and then went on about my life as usual because that was the norm. But for some reason, on that one particular day, I was open to allowing the information to sink in.

I was open to receiving a new message. In that one moment, my this is the way it is, I have to accept it attitude fell away and I achieved a new awareness as a direct result of my openness to receive. It made me realize that too many people allow themselves to stay complacent in the life they are living because they have closed themselves off from the idea that their lives can be better. This is not okay with me! I hope this is not okay with you either. Let’s work together to create the life you know you were meant to live!

There is no wrong time for change.

There is no right time to give up!

Every single moment of every single day that you exist on this planet IS the RIGHT TIME to be OPEN to living a LIFE THAT YOU LOVE.

Living in a State of Openness

What exactly does this mean to me?

I’m open for possibilities. I’m open for choices. I always welcome new ideas. I’m always eager to learn. I’m never going to close my mind from learning.

—Cesar Millan

For me, being open happens in layers:

1. I am open to receiving the messages the universe sends me on a daily basis through my life experience.

2. I am then open to taking the messages and learning the lessons they share with me.

3. I am open to taking action on those lessons learned.

So I actively remain open to receiving, learning, and taking action.

For example, with the case of hearing my mom admit that it was too late for her to make the necessary changes required to live her happiest life, I received the message from the universe that this response didn’t sit right with me. I was then open to learning why it didn’t sit right with me and how this had an impact on my own life. From there, I began taking the actions required to implement change in my own life.

What did this actually look and feel like in my life?

1. Hearing those words coming from my mom and witnessing her sadness caused me to realize that I’ve seen so many women in my life resign themselves to living a life that makes them unhappy. That makes me sad. It made me realize that what they needed to do was hold onto hope.

2. I learned in that moment that I had a very strong desire to help not only my mom, but also other women in similar situations become more open to the possibility of change, inspire them to become aware of their potential, and guide them to live the life of their dreams.

3. The actions I took led me to develop my coaching practice and write this book.

It doesn’t end here. I never stop developing my ability to remain open. At each stage, I check in and make sure that I haven’t closed myself off from new possibilities as I develop and grow. It is and always will be an ongoing process.

Being open is truly a state of being. It is in fact an ever-evolving living thing. It’s never about arriving. You will constantly be hiking through new territory in your state of openness. You will always be checking all the possible thought pathways to make sure you haven’t placed a wall in front of one that could potentially lead you in a new and enlightened direction.

I keep on living, breathing and growing within being open!

Seeing the Unseen

How do you know when you’re not open?

Renewal requires opening yourself up to new ways of thinking and feeling.

—Deborah Day

Do you actually know anyone who truly wants to stay stuck in an unfulfilling life? Have you ever heard anyone say, I am so unhappy, but I like it here. It’s the best! I love feeling unfulfilled and sad all of the time. I am definitely living my best life.

You see people who allow themselves to stay stuck all the time, and most likely you may have done it at some point or another. Do you think there are people who actually want to be stuck in the land of stuck?

It is safe to say that no one consciously WANTS to stay in a situation that makes them unhappy, but for various reasons they do, which I will talk about soon. For now, I’d like to look at the idea of recognizing when you have closed yourself off from being open.

Seeing the unseen as I call it! Oftentimes, you have absolutely no idea that you aren’t being open to the messages and opportunities this life is offering you because if the world is offering an amazing opportunity, why wouldn’t you take it? And the thing is, if you knew you weren’t being open you would most likely change that immediately.

The problem is that sometimes you don’t know, and it will take several attempts for the message to get across. How many times had I heard my mom cry and thought, Well, it is the way it is, before it finally hit me. NO… it is the way it is because she’s closed to the possibility that it could be better and I was closed to the possibility that I had the power to help.

On that note, have you ever uttered the words: It is what it is and shrugged as you accepted a situation you really didn’t want to accept? This is the most obvious sign that you have closed yourself off.

Take a step back, reflect on the cause of the statement, and listen for the message or the lesson. It is completely okay if nothing comes up. It’s hard to look closely at some of the tough situations, and you may have tried in the past and was forced to give up.

Try again.

And try again.

And try again!

Open all of your senses. Is this a situation that you can find a solution to, or is it one that you need to walk away from? The latter option is sometimes the hardest to admit, and it will cause you to close up and shut down. You are good where you are.

Face the tough stuff! It is your