Sailing Blue Water Mystique Solo: Sailing The Exumas Alone

By H. Downing Lane

"When I was around eight, we moved to the country. Plenty of room to
run and explore through woods, marshlands at water's edge. I had long
since learned to swim so it was pretty much a carefree existence, especially
during the long days of summer. It was glorious! "

The first in a series, Sailing Blue Water
Mystique Solo, tells tales of Downing's personal exploits, insights
and observations about sailing alone in the Exumas.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tellwell Talent
• Release date: Aug 15, 2019
• ISBN: 9780228809807

H. Downing Lane

H.D. Lane is a retired educator, tutoring business owner, private high school teacher, sailing coach, school administrator. Born and raised on Maryland's Eastern Shore, Henry taught sailing on Long Island Sound, raced competitively on the Chesapeake Bay. crewed transatlantic to Norway, crewed on numerous races to Bermuda, voyaged much of Maine's coast, cruised the Caribbean, Belize, Dalmatian Coast and the Bahamas. In 2008 he purchased Mystique, a 40' Leopard catamaran, then sailed it from St. Maarten to Florida. Then spent years cruising the Bahamas' Exumas and Eleuthera. In 2016 he sailed solo for 51 days from Florida to the Exumas Islands round trip. While maintaining www.bluewater.com , a blog about sailing and its lessons. Presently he is writing a number of books as he maintains www.bluewater.com , a blog about his personal exploits, insights and observations about sailing and the sea. Now a frequent writer, Henry has dedicated much of his adult life to learning and story-telling.

Book preview

Foreword

When I was around eight, we moved to the country. Plenty of room to run and explore through woods, marshlands at water’s edge. I had long since learned to swim so it was pretty much a carefree existence, especially during the long days of summer. It was glorious!

My dad had died the summer before and in my mom’s grief, my older brother and I were left to fend for ourselves a great deal of the time. My brother taught me the ropes and watched out for me. We filled our days with all kinds of wonderful activities though I loved exploring all on my own and had plenty of time to get into my own mischief!

One particular activity I remember was taking our small homemade rowing skiff and somehow adding a wooden 2x4 for a mast. A few nails to the seat and a lot of rope secured a somewhat wobbly mast in place. I begged for an old top sheet for the sail and concocted an odd-looking square-rigger. My imagination was working at full blast as I prepared my pirate ship for launch. It was trial and error, as I hadn’t a clue how to sail. After all, how hard could it be? The soft wind kept me close to shore and I enjoyed the wonder of this newly created adventure. Wow, sailing was as cool as I had imagined!

The next day the wind was blowing a bit stronger and my eagerness had me raring for the high seas, so off I went with barely any hesitation. It was exhilarating, that freedom—just me and my boat. I was captain, crew and cook (packed with an emergency lunch: PB & J and water). I was careful enough in my preplanning to also bring a life jacket and oar. It was a rip-roaring adventure, not to be missed. And it was my life.

One thing about a square-rigger that I hadn’t anticipated was that it sails beautifully in one direction and one direction only: downwind. So across the great sea of this backwater home I sailed; actually, across the Tred Avon River where it joins the mouth of Peach Blossom Creek. That five-minute sail became a two-hour paddle back! It was a long row home against the wind, yet that feeling of freedom, absolute freedom, made this adventure mine, and was worth every stroke of my grueling return. Nature started giving me lessons I so greatly needed at this youthful point of my life.

When we give ourselves the time and freedom to experience what nature offers, amazing gifts and offerings come forth. H. Downing Lane, in his fifty-one days of sailing flow with nature, gave himself a gift of freedom. The freedom his soul craved gave his body and spirit the needed healing from past wounds. Like an innocent child upon an open sea, he became one with every moment of it all. The great teacher embraced him and turned him back around, free to accept what was. Free to enjoy the presence of being. Free to be.

~ Lainie Wrightson

Chapter 1

Risk

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool,

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out to another is to risk involvement,

To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return,

To live is to risk dying,

To hope is to risk despair,

To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow,

But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live.

Chained by his servitude he is a slave who has forfeited all freedom.

Only a person who risks is free.

The pessimist complains about the wind;

The optimist expects it to change;

And the realist adjusts the sails.

~ William Arthur Ward

Chapter 2

Reason for Worry

(…) darkness is beautiful. It has tremendous depth, silence, infinity. Light comes and goes; darkness always remains, it is more eternal than light. For light you need some fuel; for darkness no fuel is needed—it is simply there.

~ Osho, Freedom: The Courage to Be Yourself

After I had sailed to the Exumas, I needed to return. I was sailing before it happened. And I was sailing after it occurred. By the time it was all over it was a foregone conclusion. I would be taking off again but this time on a different mission.

A woman and I had been in a relationship for a year and a half. She had been a mother with three grown children. I had believed she was willing to create a life for us when she sold her house in Pennsylvania. We had moved to Florida, but she wasn’t sure about our relationship. And it was right after that the relationship ended; then I was scammed in 2016.

A month after she left, a woman who wanted some help slipped into my life and scammed me by making me believe she was trustworthy until she couldn’t go any further. I was vulnerable and ready to help someone, apparently anyone, ridiculous as it sounds. I helped her until I couldn’t. Apparently, anyone was good enough for her.

I thought I could give this person a better life. I thought I was fine, but I wasn’t. I thought I was healthy, but I wasn’t. I thought I was stable, but I wasn’t. I thought I was thinking straight, but I wasn’t. And I thought that this new woman was in Florida, but she wasn’t. I thought I was wealthy, but I wasn’t. She wanted to start a new life. I was too naïve about her. It was a low point in my life as I had lost my inner compass and wasn’t thinking clearly. It was a time I was taken to the cleaners. It was time to clean out the cobwebs.

I had to get away from this toxic relationship, but the calls and messages kept me off balance and digging myself into the trap. I eventually found a way out, but not until after the damage was done. I eventually decided to sail away from the disaster. Best way to handle a situation like this. To do this I had to sail away from the sale of my home. I had to distance myself from Florida and hope that it would be enough. So I sold my house, sailed away, and began a new life.

Chapter 3

The Secret Place

Lovers find secret places

inside this violent world

where they make transactions

with beauty.

Reason says, Nonsense.

I have walked and measured the walls here.

There are no places like that.

Love says, there are.

~ Rumi, from Secret Places

Yes, there are places we can trust. Places we can go where only honesty and sincerity reign. These places profess integrity as their core value. They are places where no one has corrupted the land. There are no people on these islands. Only nature has left these places innocent and pristine. Like any district of the Bahamas, the Exumas have defied definition since the days when natives, pirates and adventurers first visited them. With over hundreds of years of staying remote they have sacred places free from man. And with over three hundred and sixty islands, called cays, arrayed in an alluring serpentine coral formation, these remote islands and colorful waters suggest a secret Bahamian paradise. They hold many secrets these places. They hide them well. They are best a secret and best left that way.

I sailed there not to hide, but to discover and recover. I transported myself to these magical gems. Their shallows and shifting sands on the western side contrasted with 6,000-foot depths to the east. Both shores give the archipelago a magical duality in depth and shape and attract completely unique sea life. Also a wide range of untouched life forms adorn these coral formations.

As I sailed and skirted through the Exumas, both the depths and shallows intrigued my imagination. At various times during my solo when the light was just so, I felt alive more than ever. It was as if I could be a prism—a colorful spectrum of lights, a kaleidoscope of possibilities. Imagine for a moment finding our living world both inside and out, above and below, in and out and being and doing time. Surely I knew not where life would lead. Uncertainty is, on any course, a certainty.

Uncertainty attempts to float itself on a sea of humanity, like plastic littering the waters of the world. Like a piece of flotsam adrift on a sea of wonder, it eventually finds a shore. Our vision often deceives us. Yet faith often clarifies and restores a blinding. It’s the fake that shakes our core beliefs. Ah, the ironies and opposites of life’s journey. Like lights and darks waking up to their realizations after their deep sleep. Hindsight! A large part of our lessons is lost in our daydreams. I know too because I have lost myself in my fantasy making—an escape route to the creation of one’s own reality.

Seeing our invisibles, feeling our pains, hearing our hurts, mending our wounds, sharing our thoughts, sensing our being, escaping our demons, freeing our souls, expressing our truths, even helping our growth—all becomes part of human evolution. Getting out of us, leaving our cells behind, filling our heart with love and forgiveness and finally acting out of love. Greed, arrogance and selfishness—all disappear in the light of generosity and love. They can’t exist when we serve our greater self. These help us find, recognize and read our inner senses. They help us balance a return to self. If service to others gives life depth and meaning, what leads us then to discover our life’s calling? We all need the dark to see the light. I think life is about learning to express and live our passions. How do we cope with the difficult forces round us?

I did not realize until it was too late that I had lost something I never knew I had. Then I realized I needed to sail back into my life. A solo sailing soon seemed my curative—my rescuer and my remedy. But it was not retreating or escaping from another world that was motivating me. While to sail to see what I had lost, I found myself far from home floating on a sea of uncertainty; this was part of my path homeward where I could find acceptance, forgiveness and unconditional love.

Unintended circumstances certainly can be counted on to teach us lessons. They are part of being alive. Yes, we don’t always know what is ahead around the next point of land. Shallows and reefs have ways of hiding. Maybe we have to see less and feel more. Vision often takes away our sight, takes away our breath; the unexpected tends to do that.

Oh my god, look at that beauty. How could that have happened? The unexpected, like some tease or temptation, transports a soul away from forbidden uncertainties. Like a foreign shore that lures a curious explorer, its unknowns and uncertainties bait a hunger. In many ways unsure of herself, the seeker looks for buried gems. While the taker sees only his advantage, the pirate of buried treasure looks for something unearned. The search becomes an adventurer’s trap. The outcome enslaves and jails us. A destination may lure the unsuspecting yet it’s the journey that frees us. Where one’s life ventures often frees one’s destiny. The struggle we avoid is the one we need to confront. Losses can blind our gains. Our misperceptions help our clarity. One has to believe to find oneself. Restoring faith is part of believing. Where difference rules, acceptance is close by. We risk wondering and wandering to risk.

The largest of these cays is Great Exuma: 37 miles (60 km) in length. It sounds more like a highly contagious skin disease; however, this chain charms like rare gemstones—150 miles of treasured islands. As I was my own guide and sailing my own boat, I gave myself the freedom to experience their separate traits as treasures. Few will ever visit them solo like I did so while my description may read as glorified for many, sad for some or inspirational for others, I am not exaggerating their lure. Sailing solo over the shifting sandy shallows, across the turquoise waters, near the jagged coral outcroppings, in the midst of a natural world still mostly untouched by humans, I found myself changing. Because the Exumas are not a hideaway but a restorative refuge for adventurers, it was the perfect place for me to sail alone. I have sailed there seven times and each has been magical. Partly because I expect miracles, I experience them in this heavenly spot on Earth. Heaven on Earth … I like that idea.

My bent will always be toward passionate connections, also known as living somewhere between and betwixt freedom and flexibility. In one word—Flow. My sailing and writing passions transport me to this state—into something akin to a sanctuary, a refuge, a safe harbor or a timelessness. In many ways sailing is like feeling a calm within a squall, a breeze caught in a spinnaker, a rainbow inside a rainfall, a wave pushing a hull, a mainsheet pulling tight, a chain releasing an anchor, whitecaps becoming spindrift, a sea churning colors or a surf applauding sand. Or it could be a sun spreading rays, a sunset or sunrise-sky painting, moonshine reflecting waters, a sleigh ride surfing low-flying clouds or a welcoming one-porpoise greeting party. These are but a few of Nature’s moments I most cherish. Like an artist, Nature paints passion.

Chapter 4

It Dawned on Me

And it dawned on me that I might have to change my inner thought patterns … that I would have to start believing in possibilities that I wouldn’t have allowed before, that I had been closing my creativity down to a very narrow, controllable scale … that things had become too familiar and I might have to disorientate myself.

~ Bob Dylan, Chronicles, Volume One

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Mystique’s view at dawn

Day 2

May 6, 2016

Position: Northeast Passage - 43 miles north of New Providence/Nassau

Weather: Mostly high cloud cover, humid

Visibility: Clear, probably 10–12 miles

Traffic: No vessels within sight

Wind: Almost dead calm … slight easterly

Sea conditions: Waves minimal, no ocean swells, calm and flat water

Tide/Current: Northwestward 1–2 knots, flowing against Mystique

Progress and speed: Motoring mostly eastward and southeast at 6 knots

Destination: New Providence’s West End - a cove approx. 10 miles west of Nassau

Forecast: Settled weather all day, easterly wind 4–6 knots late afternoon

Mystique’s situation: Motored for 24 hours and now 134 miles from Miami

It had shown my way—the course and direction my Mystique would follow. A wavy, watery surface path directed my line of sight nearly 90 degrees bearing from north. Then again, the moon and stars are Nature’s compass. As the month timed out, the lunar orb was nearly full, and brighter than the previous week, so I had anticipated her guidance on this cloudless, moonlit sky. As I neared Bimini’s northern rocks 50 miles east of Miami, the moon’s luminescence also obscured the Bahamian shore and beach lights. Like a white phantom swiftly moving eastward buffeted by a 20-knot breeze, my 40’ catamaran was lit like a star.

My introduction to my solo sail could not have started any better. Part restorative and rescue, I parted ways with the past and entered into a seemingly more real reality. This seascape I could trust. But it was also part land escape. In a sense, I departed my past by parting my past from my present. Who I had become in the last year was simply a part of me I needed to leave behind. In the history of man, dark and light have colored or discolored a man’s soul. Whether it was something akin to a walkabout or a vision quest, I was confident I would reappear and recover from the dark. I was confident I could recover and restore myself. I knew my passion for sailing would brighten my being once again. I knew I was returning to the