The Little Book of Rambling Rhymes

By F. J. Hewison

The Little Book of Rambling Rhymes

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tablo Publishing
• Release date: Aug 2, 2019
• ISBN: 9781925993905

Book preview

IF YOU FIND YOUR NAME HEREIN,

IT SIMPLY WASN’T MEANT.

IT’S NOT THE ONE YOU REALLY ARE -

IT CAME AND THEN IT WENT.

I made a stop inside a shop,

To buy a pair of braces.

I have no buttons on my pants

So settled on shoelaces.

#

Bob glued a parrot on his head

And left it there all day.

It screeched and swore and carried on,

Then flew Bob’s scalp away.

#

Lou’s a sperm, which caused concern.

He wished that things got better.

And then by chance, he went to France,

Now Lou’s in some French letter.

#

Tom spun around, his mind unsound,

He swore he saw a ghost.

Things aren’t that bad, you’re not half mad,

Screamed the head nailed to a post.

#

Jack’s head is twisted back to front,

Does not know where he’s going.

The doctor told him what to do.

He’s on the river rowing.

#

Andre had a tadpole friend.

They shared their ham and eggs.

Then one day, it was a frog

And Andre ate its legs.

#

Clem was born with just one leg,

And leans upon his buttock.

So he entered politics

And leans on Philip Ruddock.

#

Col went in a lolly shop,

It seemed to make him randy.

He found the sweetie that he loves.

And now he’s stuck on Candy.

#

Bennie has no features,

He only has a snout.

Every time he sneezes hard,

His socks turn inside out.

#

Josh sat upon a thundercloud,

Enjoyed a little nap.

The lightening didn’t strike him,

But alas, he caught the clap.

#

I came upon this tiny man

Who wore this giant hat.

The band held up his trousers

And the brim was where he sat.

#

Sammy was an only child.

What can we do? asked Mother.

Dad arranged the gender change.

And now she’s Sammy’s brother!

#

Last night I saw a ghost I’m sure;

A spectre white and hairy.

I know not whom it haunted most,

Me or my canary!

#

Freddie had a wristlet watch.

He swallowed it one day

And now he’s taking Epson Salts

To pass the time away.

#

Harry jumped up much too quick.

His sense of smell was rotten.

The doctor found the reason was

His nose was near his bottom!

#

Mary had a little lamb,

Its eyes were black as tar.

And everywhere that Mary went,

It drove her Vauxhall car.

#

Her head was flat and round and brown.

She sought advice from many.

She took the one; the best of all

And changed her name from Penny.

#

Sue took her boa for a walk,

It slipped its lead and fled.

She’s lonely now and that is why,

She’s found a croc called Fred.

#

I’m an opera singer’s shoe.

Know songs that should be sung.

When I tried to tell him this,

Was told to hold my tongue.

#

Anouki is an Eskimo

Who always fished through holes.

Until a giant store came by,

With frozen food from Coles.

#

Banjo was a poet

Who got his lines all jumbled.

He ate that many biscuits,

He couldn’t think and crumbled.

#

Errol was a