Slay Your Pain Giant

By Gerhard Venter

Your giant has a name — Chronic Pain. He may have been stalking you for months, years, or decades. Or he may have appeared in the flash of an exploding IED or in the crash of a car accident. Or he may have entered your life during the unexpected onset of an illness. Suddenly, he's there. Maybe you don't realize right away how big he is. Then you look up and he's blocking out the sun. And all you have is the sling of faith and a handful of prayer pebbles. What now?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rabbit Trails Publishing
• Release date: May 11, 2019
• ISBN: 9781393866725

Gerhard Venter

Gerhard Venter was born in Pretoria, South Africa, and came to the United States with his family in 1996. His long career in IT ended in 2010 due to chronic back pain, but he had already seen the writing on the wall and enrolled in seminary at Emory University. He graduated with a masters in theological studies (MTS) in 2011, and is currently enrolled in a D.Ed in pastoral counseling at Argosy University. Gerhard has just completed a book titled Through Pain to Victory and is planning a dissertation on The text of the Psalms and religious coping with chronic pain.

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Slay Your Pain Giant

A Christian Victory Over Chronic Pain

Gerhard Venter

Copyright © 2012 by Gerhard Venter

All rights reserved. This work is self-published by its author. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Gerhard Venter

580 Baldwin Falls Rd

Baldwin, GA 30511

Email: [e-mail]

I invite you to visit my website at http://gerhardsbooks.com

All Biblical quotations from:

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

ISBN: 978-1097485819

ISBN: 1097485811

Authored by Gerhard Venter

Thank you for your interest in my book

I have a present for you — a free ebook. 10 Pebbles for Your Sling is a collection of ten Christian devotions for times of trouble. Just like David slew his giant, Goliath, with a pebble hurled from his sling, these devotions can be the pebbles in your prayer sling.

Get your free ebook at the link below:

http://www.gerhardsbooks.com/

Slay your pain giant

Your pain giant may have been stalking you for months, years, or decades. Or he may have appeared in the flash of an exploding IED or in the crash of a car accident. Or he may have entered your life during the sudden onset of an illness.

Suddenly, he’s there. Maybe you don’t realize right away how big he is. Then you look up and he’s blocking out the sun.

You look at your armament and all you have is a sling and a handful of pebbles. And your legs turn into water.

Nine-one-one? This is Gerhard. I’m going to need help here. This one’s too big for me. I passed my SATs and that job interview, and I went to traffic court about that speeding ticket. I even got fired. But this one scares me out of my wits.

The giant attacks. He grabs hold of you and he just does-not-let-go. He could lift you up and drop you on his knee in a classic back breaker. Or you may be feeling great one moment, and the next run into the giant’s clothesline.

But more often than not, Goliath is not playing — he brandishes his huge spear and you realize that he’s out for blood. You begin to understand that he may very well take your life.

You need a plan. You need a strategy. You need to fight back. In fact, you need to kill this oversized son-of-a-so-and-so.

Most of all, you need backup. You need your big brother on the scene. You need the police. You need to call the cavalry. You need the National Guard. In fact, you need the Marines.

No, cancel all of that. You need someone in your corner who was betrayed by a close friend, arrested in the middle of the night and beaten up; who was tied up, faced two sham trials, and was mocked and humiliated by soldiers; someone who was scourged with a cruel whip, had thorns pressed into his head, and was forced to carry a heavy wooden beam through crowds who mocked him and spat on him; and who finally had nails driven through his hands and feet and was hoisted up on a cross and left to die.

Man, does he know a thing or two about being manhandled by giants!

But in going through all of that, this man slew all of the giants there ever were. And why not? He had serious backup. His Father is the Almighty God of the universe. Besides, he had an earthly ancestor, David, who did, in fact, kill a giant. You can say giant-slaying ran in his family.

Okay, the allegory was fun, but let’s get back to business. The serious business of dealing with chronic pain that’s threatening to overwhelm you.

You’re changed forever

What have I become

My sweetest friend?

Everyone I know

Goes away in the end

— Hurt, by Nine Inch Nails, famously covered by Johnny Cash

Chronic pain changes you

Right now, I should be writing my dissertation. But I’m tired. I’m tired of big words; I’m tired of trying to appear smart; I’m tired of highfalutin’ academic writing. I’m tired of myself, and I’m tired of life, because I have chronic back pain and it is 1:43 AM again and I’m not asleep in my bed or even just snuggling with my wife, as I have done for 35 years now. I'm sitting in my recliner because it hurts too much to lie down, and later on I'll be lying in my bed because it hurts too much to sit in the recliner. But even though I'm so tired, something is driving me to share this with you – not to share the tiredness, but to share the journey and the things I’ve learned. If it sounds as if I'm complaining – no, I'm not! I'm setting the scene to tell you about healing and glory and victory. But you'll have to bear with me just a little bit.

How pain changed me

Pain changes you. It changed me. In the beginning, I fought it. I thought: I can live with this. I can keep on working with a few adjustments; I can get a more comfortable office chair, get up and move around more often – you know, take mini breaks; I could get physiotherapy once a week. If I do all these things, I don't have to make major life changes, and I can go on with my life and work until I hit retirement age. But I had already set a writing career in motion, and as I wrestled with the pain and resisted embarking upon my new career, God gave me a gentle shove off the 9 foot diving board and into the new waters.

My doctor confirmed it: my working life in corporate America was over. No more driving of either a car or a desk for me. This was a frightening state of affairs. I had no choice: I started swimming, or at least treading water for a start. Now that I understand that my old life is over and there's no going back, it’s as if Jesus is saying to me:

³² Remember Lot’s wife!

³³ Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it.

— Luke 17:32-34 (NIV)

He’s saying to me, through the words of the Bible, as is proper: Don’t look back, Gerhard. What’s behind is behind. I'm beginning to discern my ministry, and I'm being very careful about it. What I'm hearing and understanding is this: This is a new life for me. It’s not only about my life anymore, but about the lives of all those who suffer with chronic pain whom I can touch.

I ask: How am I going to do this, Lord? I don't drive anymore, and I sometimes have to take two or three days off in a row. This is a huge burden. And I look in the Bible, and I read where Jesus says:

²⁸ Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. > 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

— Matthew 11:28-30

You know what? He's right! Tonight there's a 250 page printout lying on my bed (I don't have a desk anymore; I work out of my recliner), and it really wasn't all that hard. My book – the one you're holding in your hands – is done, and the whole project was a blessing for me, and now I'm praying that it will turn out to be a blessing for you.

I think our Lord is saying to me that I should bring relief to other people who are hurting all the time and who cannot take it anymore, and never mind my own life so much. It’s a hard word to take. Initially.

Why do I sound so uncertain about what the Lord is saying to me? Because when I say Thus saith the Lord I better be very sure that what I’m going to say are indeed the words of God. Every preacher has this great responsibility – and this chronic pain ministry of mine is a ministry like any other. I don’t hear voices – I read the Bible. I don’t see visions – I sit in my chair and meditate on the Word of God and work to understand things. I don’t get faxes from God; I need to search through the Bible to learn His will. But then there is the Holy Spirit, and I would be very hesitant to tell people that my words come from Him. Except that I believe every sincere preacher's words are inspired. That is no more than any preacher can claim, if he or she is careful, when they get on the pulpit or write a book.

Sometimes it’s not as simple as climbing the pulpit stairs or sitting down in front of a computer. People share the Word of God in many different ways, and some are, as it were, forced by God into a position where they simply have to proclaim His Word. I had been sent on a long journey to finally back me into this position where I’m forced to write; and sometimes my fingers write in spite of me.

Of course, I've been praying for years that, please, God, if it exists in Your plan for me, I should be in a position where I can write full time. What I had in mind was – oh, I don't know – winning the lottery or stumbling upon a successful business idea or part-time writing a wildly successful book. That would give me the leisure to write amazing novels. I was thinking along the lines of back cover blurbs such as A fresh new voice is being heard in English literature. I didn't really envisage getting thrown out of my IT job by rampant back pain, quitting without a pension or any form of health insurance, and living in my son's house.

Do you know that saying: Be careful what you wish for? Well, be even more careful what you pray for, because God has an exquisite sense of humor. Fortunately, He also knows what He's doing.

How did pain change you?

Enough about me. Let’s talk about you. Tell me how many points I’m scoring for guessing why you bought this book and what’s going on in your life. Not all of the items below will be accurate, but I think I can score 80% or so.

First, you are feeling pain; probably right now. The pain is your constant companion, and it never completely leaves you. The pain has changed you. You are no longer the person you used to be. You need help doing things you used to do all by yourself. You don’t feel like a whole person anymore. Picking up something up off the floor, getting something off a shelf, or even closing a window might be a problem for you. You used to do stuff for other people, but now others must do for you. You may have been stuck in the bath tub for a long time once, waiting for a loved one to come and help you out. Perhaps you fell down one time, realized you’d hurt yourself, and became desperate. You may have cried then, asking God Why! Why, Lord?

You may have been wondering exactly who you’ve become. You could have been a strong man or woman until recently, and now you’re so weak and sentimental. You seem to be weeping all the time. What’s going on? You may say to yourself: I’m not one given to self-pity. Self-pity is ugly, it puts off both friend and stranger; it can push away my family and even my spouse.

Understand this, dear brother or sister in Christ: your loved ones don’t like this new you one bit. They love the old you; the one who is strong and independent and used to stand there like a concrete bridge support in the storm. The one who raised them. They don’t want to see a broken, uncertain, weeping you. Who the heck is that? They’re saying to one another: I’m helping Dad get up out of his chair now. He’s so sentimental, he can’t even say grace at Thanksgiving without having an emotional meltdown. He needs to get his butt out of that chair and get some exercise. That’s it – he’s become weak from being so inactive. Exercise will fix him!

Why do your loved ones react like that? Because the broken you they’re seeing is threatening their security. That broken down you is mortal and might die, leaving them all alone in this horrible, dangerous world. Children whose mothers get sick think: Hey, that’s not on! I’m not supposed to be left behind here by my mom, to be all alone in the world. I didn’t sign up for that! What’s this with her just sitting there? C’mon, Mom, pull yourself together! That’s not like you!

They need to blame someone because they’re human, and the first person they’ll blame is you. Dad, you should have looked after that diabetes better. Now look where you’re at! They may want to take charge and ‘sort the situation out.’ Look, mom, I’ve enrolled you at the local gym, we’re getting your lazy behind out of that chair and getting you some exercise. Except you don’t care about exercise and diet as much as you did, because right now you’re trying to figure out who you are.

And you begin to lose hope.

The famous preacher Charles Haddon Spurgeon almost lost hope

The great 19th century British preacher Charles Haddon Spurgeon was intimately familiar with pain. Even in his magnificent career, he sometimes missed days of work at a time because of his gout. He was familiar with spiritual pain as well. Listen how perfectly his description matches the way chronic pain changes you, so that, after a while, you don't even know who you are anymore:

To be reminded week in and week out that many people regard your preaching of the glory of the grace of God as hypocrisy pushes a preacher not just into the hills of introspection, but sometimes to the precipice of self-extinction.

By that I do not mean suicide. I mean something more complex. I mean the deranging inability to know any longer who you are. What begins as a searching introspection for the sake of holiness and humility gradually becomes, for various reasons, a carnival of mirrors in your soul: you look in one and you're short and fat; you look in another and you're tall and skinny; you look in another and you're upside down. Then the horrible feeling begins to break over you that you don't know who you are any more. The center is not holding.

— Charles Haddon Spurgeon

You can’t fix yourself. How can you fix someone you don’t know? Your self-image has been shattered, and this is a different person.

What about your Job? If you haven’t lost it already, things