The Weak Made Strong: Enduring tragedy and the battles as a fatherless man

By Colin Rooney

After enduring tragedy through losing his dad and older brother in a plane crash, Colin’s perfect life was crushed. Through his faith in Jesus he had hope to keep pressing on through the pain. During his junior season of baseball at Pepperdine University, God did some amazing things on the baseball field. From hitting a game-winning walk off homerun while his nephew throughout the first pitch to receiving a Gold Glove Award using his older brother’s glove, these things weren’t coincidences, they were miracles. After Colin’s baseball career he endured many challenges not having his dad around to lead him and help teach him how to be a man. These things he faced were emotional lions that came against him trying to defeat him and keep him from being the man that God created him to be. Through his realness and honesty about his wound and the depression, anxiety, and fear that he has experienced as a fatherless man, Colin hopes to encourage others who are facing similar struggles so that they will see that God wants to use their weaknesses and challenges that they are facing to do great things for His glory.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson
• Release date: Jun 11, 2019
• ISBN: 9781400324781

Colin Rooney

On January 11, 2009 my life was changed forever. Both my Dad and brother died in a plane crash. It was the worst pain imaginable knowing I would never see them again on this earth. In the midst of it all, I felt this indescribable joy and comfort. I felt Jesus in a way that I had never felt before. God has done indescribable things in my life since their passing and continues to father me through the challenges that I have faced as a fatherless man.

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INTRODUCTION

DISTANT MEMORIES

My dad always told me I was his spitting image. I looked just like him, with freckles all over my face. Thankfully, I got his looks and athleticism, but unfortunately he handed off some of his bad traits, too, like his Irish temper. At least whenever I lost my cool. I could tell people I got that from my dad. He gave my brothers and I such an amazing life. It was a dream. Like heaven on earth. We got to go on hunting trips all over the country. From duck hunting in Arkansas, to elk hunting in Colorado, to fishing for salmon at our house on the King Salmon River in Alaska. We absolutely loved our life.

I remember hugging my dad for the last time at our house in Yorba Linda, California, before I left back to college. It was one of the best Christmas breaks of my life. I got to go duck hunting with my brothers. We all cracked up on the drive home when we realized we all had a piece of Dad in us. My brother Patrick made us late one morning when we were getting ready to leave for our hunt because he had to take a dump. Sean saw a flock of seagulls and thought they were geese. I left the windshield wipers going when it wasn’t even raining. That’s a trip I will never forget.

That Christmas break, Dad and Patrick took me to my high school to help me practice taking ground balls for my junior year of baseball at Pepperdine University. It was so special for me to be out there with them. My old man hitting me ground balls and my brother teaching me his ways at third base. Even though my brother made me look bad by showing me up on the field, it was worth it.

On my drive back to Pepperdine, I couldn’t help but cry thinking of how much I loved my family. I was so thankful for them. They were the best family I could have ever imagined. Who would have known that I was never going to see my dad and older brother again? My nightmare was going to come to life and tragedy was about to shatter my perfect family.

Life has been hard as a fatherless man. I’m not going to hide it. I wish I had my dad around to teach me to be a man, but unfortunately that’s just not the life God has given me. That’s not the only hard part about life. After going through tragedy, it has made me realize how precious life is. It’s so short. We never know when our time is up. Our lives are like vapor. The grass withers and the flowers fade away. I know and believe that, because I have experienced it for myself. What can contribute to making this life so hard is that so often, I feel like a zombie living in this comfortable bubble we have here in our country. We have it so good. We have it so good that people take it for granted. They don’t act like life is short. They are trying to create their own heaven here on earth, thinking that they are going to live forever. That’s just not the world we live in. We live in a broken world filled with death, diseases, and disasters.

I wish I could say that after the tragedy I endured life has been incredible. But the reality is that it hasn’t. I definitely had some great moments, but I also had some very challenging ones. Through the wounds that have developed in my life because of the tragedy and not having my dad around, my head has often been underwater, as if I’ve been gasping for air, constantly trying to survive. The hardest thing has been trying to hide the wound that I am facing and battling to overcome. In our country and our comfortable Christianity, people are often trying to fake it to make it, trying to perform in order to be seen by others. We try to hide our weaknesses and the wounds in our hearts. It’s so easy for us to be distracted and busy that we don’t make room to let God into our hearts to bring us the healing we need.

As I was close to graduating college, I remember thinking that people just don’t get it. How come so many people, especially Christians, are not giving God the love that He is worthy of? They are drinking from a muddy wallow and missing out on the river of life. Maybe I felt that way because in the midst of my brokenness, I felt an indescribable joy that assured me that God was with me. God was so real to me after the tragedy, through the excruciating pain that I had endured. He was the blood in my veins. He became my treasure and the most valuable thing in my life. I had hope because of Jesus. I had a Father because of Jesus. He was the rock that I got to stand on in the midst of the storm. Death might have shattered my family, but thanks to Jesus I found so much joy and comfort, which gave me a reason to live and keep battling.

One man of faith I really have looked up to in my life and can relate to is CT Studd. In the 1880s, CT Studd was one of the best cricket players to have ever played the game in England. He was determined to be the number one player around and held several records during his time and was known as an all-round player. He had it all. Fame and money.

As a very wealthy man, he sold everything he had. He gave it all up to follow Jesus. On a mission to bring the people of China to Christ, CT endured so many physical challenges and near-death experiences. His determination and dedication to being a great cricket player transitioned into saving souls. God used him in a mighty way and many people in China came to Christ. He also went to the unreached people groups throughout parts of Africa to assemble an army of believers to go throughout the country and proclaim the gospel to their people.

CT was an incredibly talented cricket player, but he was known more for being a man who wanted to set up a rescue shop within a yard of hell. He had an opportunity to have a life of fame and fortune, but he chose to go to the far ends of the earth to live as the poorest of the poor. He chose to face monstrous lions in the safaris of Africa and cannibal tribes that wanted to eat him alive, in order to be obedient to what Jesus was calling him to. He wanted to see dead bones living again.

It’s been nearly ten years since my dad and brother passed away. So many of these memories with them have faded away. It’s almost like I have moved on with my life and forgotten that they ever existed. When I do that, I forget who I am. I forget about my identity. I forget about my story.

This book isn’t about a performance. I’ve already done plenty of that throughout my life. I’m writing to share my broken story with a broken world. I want to be honest about my weaknesses and the depression, the anxiety, the fear, the loneliness, the isolation, and the sin that has tried to keep me from bringing God glory through the amazing things He has done in my life. I don’t want to let the enemy win anymore. I’m not going to be silent. It’s a fire in my bones and I don’t want to let anything put it out. Like CT Studd, I want to give my all to Christ and use my story to set up a rescue shop in people’s hearts.

I pray this book encourages others who have gone through tragedy and loss or are facing wounds in their hearts that are crippling their life. Especially fatherless men. This is my war cry. There is hope and you will get through whatever you are going through if you have faith and trust that God is making you stronger through your weaknesses. You are facing some big battles for a reason. The enemy is trying to take you down but God is trying to build you up, so that you can bring Him glory for the great things he has done and will do in your life. Rather than looking at the tragedy you endured or the emotional wound you are facing as something bad, let’s look at it as something that God wants to use to accomplish great things through us. Let’s battle together!

My family and I in Montana

My family and I in Montana

My brothers and I (Patrick to the left, me in the middle, Sean on the right)

My brothers and I (Patrick to the left, me in the middle, Sean on the right)

CHAPTER ONE

STORIES OF LITTLE BILLY

One year, my family was in Big Bear, California, where we had a vacation house. We were hiking in the woods with our black Labrador named Champ. As we were making our way through the forest, we heard some rustling in the bushes. Suddenly, a huge black bear came charging at us at full speed. Dad immediately ran over to me, picked me up, and started booking it alongside my mom and two older brothers. Champ fearlessly sprinted toward the bear to protect us. He jumped into the air at the bear, but the bear took a swipe at him and took Champ down to the ground. It left a huge gash on Champ’s back, but he still managed to fend off the bear and keep it from getting to us. The bear ran off into the woods and was never seen again. Champ had to go to the hospital, but thankfully he lived after saving our lives.

Most my life I believed that this story was real.

Meet my dad. The jokester, prankster, and amazing storyteller. I wish the story was real. Unfortunately, there was no bear chasing after us. Champ didn’t save our lives, although the scar on his back was real. It’s hard not to believe such a great story when there was proof of the scar. And it didn’t matter how many times my dad shared that story; every time we heard it, we were as excited as if we were hearing it for the first time.

One morning, he got us out of bed really early at our house in Orange County because he saw a deer in our side yard. We all came running down the stairs and tip-toed through the garage. He told us to be as quiet as possible or we would spook the deer away. As we got closer to the side garage door, we crawled through on all fours, slowly and gradually creeping around our air-conditioning unit. Once we got farther into the side yard, we could see all the way across the backyard, and there it was…a deer decoy! He shouted out, April fools! He deked us good! We were a little frustrated about it considering that he got us out of bed early in the morning while we were still in our pj’s, just to see a deer decoy.

He loved to eat my food when I wasn’t looking. We would be sitting at the table with the rest of the family and he would point outside and tell us there was a goose or some other bird. We would look outside to see nothing, and once we looked back at our meal there would be a huge bite out of it. Sometimes he would even hide our food in weird places. We had to start putting our leftovers in a baggy in the fridge with our name on it, but even that didn’t stop him from trying to prank us. In fact, I think sometimes it made him try harder.

Some of our favorite stories of my dad were from his fighting days. One day as a child he got beat up on his way home from school. He came home to tell his mom, but she told him he couldn’t come in the house until he went back out and put the whoop to those boys. This time when he met the bullies, he had reinforcements—his older sister. She beat the tar out of those kids and they never messed with Dad again. My dad was taught to be tough. To stand his ground. Not to let people pick on him.

In high school, he became a wrestler. He was the top wrestler at his school and people knew not to mess with Little Billy (my dad’s nickname) because he would take you down. He and his wrestling buddies would go out and fight in their free time. I remember this one story he told me about his best friend Butterfield who was also on the wrestling team. They showed up to a party that had some people from other high schools in the area. One of the guys there knew Butterfield. The guy told Butterfield, Hey, I know you. Yeah, I beat the crap out of your older brother. Without hesitation, Butterfield walked up to the guy and looked him right in the eyes and responded, I don’t believe that could have been possible. You know why I don’t believe that? Because I know you wouldn’t stand a chance against me. The guy was not expecting a response like that. Those were immediate fighting words. They went outside, followed by the whole crowd at the party, and began to duke it out for several minutes. Punching back and forth, wrestling to the ground and then getting back up again. They were neck and neck. One of the guy’s friends decided to jump in to try to help his buddy, but Dad ran up to him and took