No Spain No Gain

By Anurag Bakhshi

What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of Spain?

Untouched, powder-sand beaches that stretch on for as far as the eyes can see?

Majestic cities that are both a testament, and a tribute, to the country's unique mix of Moorish and Christian Art & Architecture?

Hot men, and hotter women?

Hip-swaying, hypnotic music? 

Passionate dancing that would be deemed illegal in more than half the countries in the world? 

Terrific Tapas & Magnificent Meats that force you to eat, and eat, and eat? 

Sensational Sangria & deadly cocktails? 

Or that infinite zest for life that makes Spaniards the most fierce party animals in the world? 

If I were to take a wild guess, your answer would be: All of the above. 

But what your answer would definitely not be is:

A scheming dog in  a white village of the Alpujarras. 

A giant pumpkin on the run from powerful predators. 

A bull who binged on bucketfulls of butter, leading to disastrous consequences.

A ruthless gang of Ninja-employing turtles.

If you want to meet these fascinating characters, and many more bizarrely crazy cousins of theirs, come with me, as I introduce you to a Spain that you would have never seen before.

For this is Spain as seen through the eyes of a child, the same child who is alive and kicking in all of you, the one who does not frown upon fun, does not impose any limits upon imagination, and welcomes the wonders that life brings us in each moment, with open arms.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Anurag Bakhshi
• Release date: Apr 9, 2019
• ISBN: 9781386383956

Book preview

The Tea Seller’s Anniversary

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He was just a humble tea-seller, spending his days at the international airport serving tea to thirsty passengers. He did not earn much, but he took great pride in his work, for a well made cup of tea, his grandmother used to say, can make your spirit soar, and your heart fly free!

But today, his spirit was crushed. His tenth wedding anniversary was just a month away, and he had no money to take his wife on a holiday. Not that she had ever asked for it, or thrown a tantrum, but he wanted to do something special for her, to celebrate their love for each other.

He was ruminating morosely on this sore topic when he suddenly saw a huge fight break out at the airport. A group of passengers had been waiting for their flight for more than 24 hours, and they had finally run out of patience. They were shouting at the airline staff, and the situation soon turned ugly.

He tried to ignore it for as long as he could, but when he saw the harried passengers physically attack the hapless airline staff, he could not take it anymore, and jumped into the fray.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, so he saw neither aav nor taav, and shouted, "Chaaaaaiiiii, Chaaaaaiiiii, garma-garam Chaaaaaiiiii (Tea....tea....hot tea....)," in his trademark style, perfected by his family over generations in innumerable train stations.

And lo and behold, the irate passengers as well as the under-attack staff forgot their dispute almost magically, and within minutes, they were sipping hot sips of strong ginger tea, exchanging anecdotes with each other and reminiscing as if they were long-lost friends.

He was looking at this new-found bonhomie beatifically when suddenly, someone tugged his sleeve. He looked around, but there was no one to be seen. Someone whistled at him then, but he still couldn’t see anyone. And then followed a series of long, insistent whistles, along with the heat waves of steam. It was then that he realized that it was his kettle which was making those noises on its own.

He looked at it in wonder, and was shocked when along with the steam from the kettle, appeared a giant tea bag, almost twice his own size. The tea bag looked kindly at him and said in a hissing voice, I am the Tea God, fat and stout. Today, you have proven yourself to be a worthy successor to your grandmother, for tea is not just a drink, it is the very elixir of life. Ask for any boon, and you shall have it.

And this is how he and his wife found themselves at the airport exactly one month later, but as passengers this time. They were on their way to Spain, to celebrate their tenth wedding anniversary. Suddenly, they heard a commotion. Some passengers were shouting at the airline staff. His wife got scared on seeing this, but he quickly whipped out his kettle from his hand baggage, winked at his wife, and said, Don’t worry, it’s all under control!