Sherlock Sam’s Orange Shorts: Sherlock Sam, #11.5

By A.J. Low

This special collection of short stories gives a glimpse into the alternative realities introduced in Sherlock Sam and the Quantum Pair in Queenstown, where different versions of the gang throughout time and space exist, from Ōnāy-359 and an Ancient Land That Was Not China to the town of Tumbleweed and a Place That Is Not on Any Map. It's Nazhar, Moran, Wendy, Mom and Dad, Officer Siva and Inspector Lestrade, Jimmy, Eliza, Watson, and Sherlock Sam as you've never seen them before!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Epigram Books
• Release date: Feb 18, 2019
• ISBN: 9789811700675

Book preview

Sherlock Sam’s orange shorts

Spacedate 101000000111: Captain Watson of the RSS Space Dragon sat in his chair and contemplated the grandest mysteries of the universe.

Where-do-they-find-such-uncomfortablematerial? he asked, pulling on his green uniform.

I believe it’s to keep us awake, sir, Commander Wendy replied. It’s night all the time out here in space, after all. Captain Watson’s second-in-command had never heard a rhetorical question she couldn’t answer.

Sir, we’re coming up on Oˉ naˉy-359, Navigator Nazhar said. This was the young lieutenant’s first posting and he was very eager.

Why-are-we-at-Oˉ naˉ y-359? Captain Watson asked. I-told-you-to-set-a-course-forMandai-53.

Unfortunately, Navigator Nazhar’s eagerness did not make up for his terrible navigation skills.

I was looking forward to studying the animal life on Mandai-53, Science Officer Moran said. But studying the space debris surrounding Oˉ naˉy-359 could be just as interesting. I have already catalogued eight comets, four pulsars, and three different kinds of discontinued shipping frigates with an abundance of food in their holds. Science Officer Moran was an Artificial Intelligence, just like Captain Watson, though he was a newer model, and therefore not as experienced as the captain.

Doctor Eliza scoffed. Only you would think space debris was interesting. Doctor Eliza didn’t have the most pleasant bedside manner, but she was the best doctor in the entire universe.

It can be quite interesting, if you know what to look for, Science Officer Moran replied.

Since-we-are-already-here-we-should-seewhatelse-is-in-the-frigates, Captain Watson said. All-of-you-come-with-me.

Watson, we’re the senior officers of this ship, Doctor Eliza said. Shouldn’t we stay on the ship and run things from here, instead of traipsing around possibly dangerous space debris? You’re the captain, for goodness’ sake. You should definitely stay here and captain.

Why-must-we-have-this-conversationeverytime-I-want-to-leave-the-ship? Captain Watson asked. Lieutenant-Boey-can-takecareof-the-ship-like-she-always-does.

This makes absolutely no sense, Doctor Eliza grumbled under her breath. This never makes any sense. She followed Captain Watson anyway, and so did Science Officer Moran, Navigator Nazhar and Commander Wendy.

The RSS Space Dragon docked with one of the frigates, and Captain Watson and his away team entered through the docking port.

It was dark inside, but they had all brought torch lights along with their scanning equipment. They walked down the empty hallways until they reached the first cross junction. To their left and right were multiple locked doors.

Navigator-Nazhar, Captain Watson said, pointing to his right. Open-that-door.

Yes, sir. Navigator Nazhar dutifully opened the door Captain Watson pointed at. It was dark in there too, and Navigator Nazhar disappeared into the darkness. A little while later, bright light emerged from the room.

You guys should come in here, Navigator Nazhar said.

Why? Doctor Eliza asked. Anything dangerous in there? Am I going to have to reattach any limbs?

They all stepped into the room and saw Navigator Nazhar standing in front of a large mountain of chicken wings.

Nothing dangerous, he said. Just a bunch of chicken wings. He brought the one he was holding to his mouth and took a bite.

Fascinating, Science Officer Moran said.

Navigator Nazhar! Doctor Eliza shouted. You have no idea how long these chicken wings have been here! You’re going to give yourself food poisoning!

But they’re pretty delicious, Doctor, Navigator Nazhar said. You should try them.

I have a bad feeling about this, Commander Wendy said, looking around room. You know what loves chicken wings.

I-do, Captain Watson said. Back-to-the-ship-everybody. We-are-likely-to-receiveunwelcomeguests-soon.

Suddenly, there was a loud boom as the frigate rocked violently. The lights in the room went out, and everybody had to turn their torch lights back on.

They’re already here, Commander Wendy said, the dread clear in her tone.

Captain Watson, sir! Lieutenant Boey’s voice could be heard over their scanning equipment. You won’t believe what’s just started swarming the frigates.

I-know, Captain Watson said.

Sherlockians. Sherlockians were a spacefaring race that loved to eat. They travelled the galaxy without the need for starships, looking for matter to consume, and their favourite food was chicken wings.

The away team ran out of the room and tried to go back the way they came, but were blocked by a wall of Sherlockians eating the walls of the hallway. The creatures were indistinguishable from each other as they all wore shiny orange jumpsuits and glasses. They also all had spiky black hair.

Back, Captain Watson said. Back-awaynow.

They retreated slowly until one Sherlockian suddenly stopped eating through some wiring and sniffed the air. I smell chicken wings, it said. The other Sherlockians stopped chomping at the walls and also started sniffing the air. Then they all began to move towards Navigator Nazhar.

Doctor Eliza glared at Navigator Nazhar. If I become a redshirt because of you, I swear I will haunt you, she said.

Navigator Nazhar gulped.

Run. Now, Captain Watson said. It was quite amazing how he managed to infuse urgency into his deadpan voice. His crew ran back towards the junction while Captain Watson used his extendable arms to pull part of the wall between himself and the advancing Sherlockians.

He ran after his crew and caught up with them at the cross junction. Science Officer Moran was looking at a map of the frigate on his scanning device. If we go down this hall, past the chicken wings, we should find another airlock with a small escape pod attached.

It’ll be a bit squeezy with all five of us in there, Commander Wendy said. But it’s better than being jettisoned into space if one of these Sherlockians causes an explosive decompression when it eats through the walls.

Assuming they haven’t already eaten the escape pod, Doctor Eliza said.

Lieutenant-Boey, Captain Watson said. Bring-the-Space-Dragon-around-to-thestarboardside-of-the-frigate-and-get-ready-tocatchan-escape-pod.

Yes, sir! Lieutenant Boey said.

The away team ran down the hallway. When they reached the escape pod, they came face to face with a Sherlockian eating its way through a wall.

We should really stun these creatures, Doctor Eliza said.

We-are-not-going-to-stun-them, Captain Watson said. They-are-basically-harmlessanimalsthat-act-primarily-on-instinct. Youwouldnot-stun-a-kitten-for-scratching-youwouldyou?

The nearby Sherlockian stopped chewing the wall when it heard this. It said, I’ll have you know we’re actually a very advanced race of sentient beings that have evolved over billions of—

Sherlock Sam’s orange shorts

The Sherlockian stopped mid-sentence when Captain Watson produced a chicken wing from his secret storage compartment. The Sherlockian was transfixed by the food. Captain Watson waved the chicken wing around, and the Sherlockian followed it with its eyes. Captain Watson then tossed it behind the Sherlockian into the escape pod, and the Sherlockian ran after it. Captain Watson closed the airlock and jettisoned the escape pod, disposing of the Sherlockian safely. Navigator Nazhar looked out the porthole and saw the Sherlockian nibbling on the chicken wing inside the escape pod.

That-one-has-been-taken-care-of, Captain Watson said.

But we’ll run out of chicken wings before we get rid of all of them, Commander Wendy said.

Not to mention escape pods, Doctor Eliza said.

I-have-another-plan, Captain Watson said. But-it-will-be-dangerous.

Your plans are always dangerous, Watson, Doctor Eliza said.

Captain Watson led his away team back to the chicken wing storage room.

Everybody-start-shouting, Captain Watson said.

I do not understand, Captain, Science Officer Moran said. For what purpose?

I-want-to-bring-all-the-Sherlockians-here, Captain Watson said. I-want-to-give-themexactlywhat-they-want.

That’s brilliant, Captain, Commander Wendy said. Then they’ll ignore us.

Darn it, Watson. I’m a doctor, not a lunch lady! Doctor Eliza protested.

They all started shouting, enticing the Sherlockians with descriptions of the chicken wings. Navigator Nazhar, being the only one to have actually eaten one, could add more details to his descriptions.

After some time, they heard thousands of footsteps heading in their direction. Captain Watson ordered his away team to stop yelling and flatten themselves against the wall around the door.

Hundreds of Sherlockians