Embracing Hospitality: Help for the Hesitant Host

By Brenda Shipman

"This lovely little book is one gigantic resource on the whys and hows of Christian hospitality."
~Ann Tatlock, novelist, editor and children's book author

In Embracing Hospitality, Brenda Shipman gives an engaging presentation of Christian hospitality and provides helpful insight into these common questions:

~How can we create an ambiance that reflects the character of God?
~Why do we often shy away from hospitality?
~How do we become better conversationalists, listening and speaking with grace?
~What are the blessings and benefits of serving as a host?
~How can we more eagerly embrace the work involved with hospitality?

Being an introvert herself, the author also addresses the realistic struggle of reaching out to others when one is not naturally outgoing, and how shy people can be effective hosts.

Through examples found in the Bible and an array of whimsical literary characters, this book offers practical principles and lessons on hospitality. Brenda also shares engaging stories from decades of hands-on experience, along with pointers for meal and home preparation.

After presenting the why of hospitality—God's amazing hospitality extended to us through Christ—this book then gently helps the reader move from avoidance of hospitality to a greater joy in making the home a place of sacrificial, generous welcome.

If you are a hesitant host, this book just might be the nudge you're looking for to open the front door.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Nov 6, 2018
• ISBN: 9781543949810

Book preview

This lovely little book is one gigantic resource on the whys and hows of Christian hospitality. We invite others to be with us because God first invited us to be with Him. We were created for fellowship! But what does this look like and how do we open our homes cheerfully to others, even strangers? And how, especially, does the introvert practice the art of hospitality? Brenda Shipman gives guidance, stories and practical tips from a creative variety of sources, including her own experience, making this both a helpful and remarkably engaging read.

~ Ann Tatlock, novelist, editor and children’s book author

Visit Brenda Shipman at www.brendashipman.com.

Embracing Hospitality: Help for the Hesitant Host

Copyright © 2018 by Brenda Shipman. All rights reserved.

Author photograph copyright © 2018 by Katie Shipman. All rights reserved.

Edited by Deb Hall

Clipart used by permission: www.olddesignshop.com

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means--electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise--except for brief quotations for the purpose of review or comment, without prior written permission.

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from The ESV Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Printed in the United States of America

ISBN 978-1-54394-980-3 eBook 978-1-54394-981-0

For my husband, Greg,

whose love for people inspires me.

I love you, Sweetie.

For my daughter, Katie,

who has the most hospitable heart of anyone I know.

I love you, Sugar.

For my mom,

whose love language was chicken ‘n dumplings.

I love and miss you.

Contents

Acknowledgements

Company’s Comin’

Chapter 1: What Is Christian Hospitality?

Chapter 2: Hindrances to Hospitality

Chapter 3: The Blessings and Benefits of Hospitality

Chapter 4: Lessons from Literature

Chapter 5: The Ambiance of His Presence

Chapter 6: The Gentle Art of Listening and Talking

Chapter 7: Stories of Welcome

Chapter 8: How to Have a Fat Hostess Soul

About the Author

Acknowledgements

Embracing Hospitality has been in my mind, on my heart, and in a box in my bedroom for many years. Life has taken many turns in the road since I first began writing this book—some brought joyous blessings (grandchildren!), others led down a path of heartache. But if I truly believe what God says in Ecclesiastes 3:1, For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven, then I can be assured that this book came to completion at just the right season and time . . . but not without the support of the following family and friends.

For my husband, Greg—I cannot thank you enough for providing the resources and support to help me finish this project. Your keen eye for better word phrasing and good grammar were invaluable, and your offerings of Dr. Pepper and quiet time to work have been much appreciated. I love sharing good books, movies and writing with you, the love of my life.

For all the wonderful friends, near and far, who extended hospitality to my family and me throughout the years, thank you. Experiencing your warm welcome gave us a taste of the heavenly home that awaits us and fueled my desire to write this book. May God pour out his blessing upon your generous hearts.

Special thanks to my beta readers: Jeanie Birmingham, Cyndy Farnham, Lynda Thompson, and Stacy Crouch. Without your honest, helpful, and encouraging feedback, this book would still be in its rough state. I am incredibly thankful for your labor of love on my behalf.

Susie Lind, thank you for sharing your hospitality stories that added a global perspective to this topic. You and Dwight continue to inspire me as you reach out to others through your dinner table.

I’d like to express appreciation for my brother, Danny Reddell, who grills the most amazing Santa Maria steak! Thank you for your encouragement through the years, big brother. My sister, Vicki Gray, has been a tremendous example of hospitality and has hosted us in her home countless times. Thank you, sis, for being a sweet source of support (and for that delicious, memorable dinner of individual casseroles, cucumber and tomato salad from your garden, and those fun square dinner plates.) I love my siblings!

Katie and Lynden, thank you for the many times you have opened up your home to us, often with a beautiful welcome basket filled with goodies awaiting us in your guest bedroom. For the meals, the rides on the Ranger to see the cows, the trips to Branson . . . such great memories! We could not ask for a more loving daughter, son-in-law and precious grandbabies.

Deb Hall, what a blessing you have been as my editor! Thank you for your incredibly intuitive sense of what worked to communicate this message with excellence. You are the best.

I’d also like to thank Laurinda Wallace for answering a million questions regarding the book publishing process. Your availability and patience have been so helpful. Thanks for cheering me on!

Lastly, many thanks to you, dear reader, for choosing to read this book. May it be a blessing and source of encouragement!

Introduction

Company’s Comin’

Whenever, wherever, however the kingdom manifests itself,

it is in WELCOME.

Krister Stendahl, Swedish theologian

A knock on the door, a peek out the window, and an audible groan escaped my lips. "It’s Hershel again," I said to my mom, with the usual rolling of the eyes, emphasizing our friend’s name with no small amount of disgust.

He was an older man, some acquaintance of my father’s, who would drop by our house occasionally throughout my childhood. His just dropping by usually meant an entire afternoon of sitting across from him, listening to one story after another—stories of all his latest business dealings, sprinkled heavily with arrogance and bragging. Any attempt to interject a thought or two was practically ignored.

Grudgingly, we all resigned ourselves to an outward posture of listening, while inwardly we were heaving sighs of disappointment over all the wasted time with Hershel. His breath usually smelled of alcohol, and he chain-smoked through every visit in our home.

I still picture myself sitting there with a bored look, my mind far away playing with my friends, imagining what I was missing in the next chapter of my latest book, or wondering what Gilligan was doing on the island that afternoon. Looking back now, I imagine Hershel was probably an alcoholic and carried many burdens. I sometimes wonder whatever happened to him.

I also wonder if we could have ministered to some of his needs had we demonstrated more warmth and love, instead of the cold tolerance he probably sensed. He always came back, though, perhaps desperate for a listening ear. I think we were some of his only friends.

I’m not sure I even heard the word hospitality, much less understood what it meant, until many years into my own Christian experience. I probably heard bits and pieces of teaching on this topic throughout my life, but tuned it out thinking, Well, that’s just not us. By us, I meant my family—we weren’t what you’d call outgoing. Basically, we were mostly introverts, shy folk, comfortable to stay home all by ourselves, thank you!

At Christmas we often had Ma and Pa, my dear grandparents from Texas, for a few weeks’ visit. The preparation for that visit was almost always overwhelming as we all scurried about cooking, mopping, vacuuming, dusting, pulling junk out from under the beds, straightening closets, scrubbing baseboards—cleaning places we hadn’t touched since their last visit. I just remember thinking, Jeesh. This is no fun. I think I hate having company.

Move ahead to my own home and my own children years later. Company’s comin’. The house is a mess, the light fixtures and mini blinds are caked in dust (I suddenly noticed), and good night, there’s mold growing in the bathtub grout! Time to crack the whip and raise my voice and bark orders to the kids and hope my adrenaline will carry me through all that needs to be done before we hear the doorbell ring. Then we can all stand in the entryway and smile sweetly at our guests—exhausted, sweating, and thinking once again, This is not fun. Sigh. So much for Show hospitality to one another without grumbling (1 Peter 4:9).

Several years ago, sensing something was just not right (duh) in my approach to hospitality, I began purchasing books about the subject, really good Christian books. I devoured each one of them, hoping for some magical cure for my rotten attitude about having guests in our home. All the books had great ideas and a plethora of tips for making hospitality easier—plan ahead, keep meals in the freezer, use simple recipes, keep up with the daily maintenance of the house so you aren’t embarrassed by unexpected drop-ins—all great ideas.

One book’s title really caught my eye: The Joy of Hospitality.¹ Aah . . . that’s what I need, JOY, not all this self-centered stress and dread! But even that wonderful little book didn’t do much to transform my thinking on the matter. No matter how many tips I employed, I still did not embrace hospitality with joy.

In Hebrews 13:1–2, God gives us a command: Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers. It is in the context of letting brotherly love continue that God gives us this instruction to show hospitality. What better way to demonstrate God’s love than by inviting people into our homes? Hospitality is a means God gives us for the purpose of loving others. It is just that simple, just that beautiful.

Doing hospitality became much easier for me when I caught a glimpse of the warm and welcoming character of God in his Word. While teaching a women’s Bible study on the attributes of God, I learned there are many different names for the one true God. When I learned that Immanuel meant God with us, it quickly became one of my favorites. God, the Creator of the universe, desires to be with me. Wondrous truth! In Matthew 1:23 we read, ’Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel’ (which means, God with us.)

God came to earth, as one of us and yet entirely God, to be with us.

We may ask the question, But why do we need God to be with us? The answer is simple. Our sin has separated us far away from him. The Westminster Shorter Catechism in Modern English asks the question, What is man’s primary purpose? The answer: "Man’s primary purpose is to glorify God