This Crazy Love: Crazy Mountain Series, #1

By S. H. Pratt

To say that Fiona Harper hated Montana was an understatement. The state, the town of Big Timber, and more specifically the Lazy D Dude Ranch induced terror, panic and fury. Only a deep and powerful bond of love for her sister, Brianna Rose, could bring Fiona back to Montana. Knowing that Briana needs her, Fiona agrees to return to the Lazy D Ranch in Montana, in spite of her desperate terror that her sanity and life hang in the balance.

Austin Green wanted the simple things in life… a quiet life with his horses and a family with the woman he loved. When his fiancée, Cassie, is killed in an accident on Christmas Eve, Austin's life takes a sharp detour into a special misery where his anger rules him… consumes him. Five months after losing Cassie, Austin's twin, Adam, finally pushes Austin too far. Fueled by his fury at Cassie, at Adam and at life in general, Austin decides to simply leave it all behind and taking a job as the head wrangler at a dude ranch in Montana seems to be the perfect place to learn to live with his loss and anger.

When Fiona arrives at the Lazy D Dude Ranch, she discovers that not only does she have a roommate, but he's got his own demons that haunt him. During the day, Fiona and Austin tolerate each other, but at night, when Fiona's nightmares overwhelm her, Austin becomes the only light in her dark existence. Slowly, their relationship becomes a friendship laced with a passion that Austin craves and Fiona doesn't understand. But as the summer season nears its end, Fiona's nightmares crash in on her and Austin can't reach her. Can Austin and Fiona find their way back to each other before they give up?

• Language: English
• Publisher: S. H. Pratt
• Release date: Jan 28, 2015
• ISBN: 9781386775355

Book preview

Acknowledgements

When I began this book over eighteen months ago, I didn’t realize that it would be the beginning of the biggest project of my brief writing career, nor did I know that it would be one of my favorites. When I realized that there was going to be so much more than I’d originally thought, I began to contact people and did A LOT more research. The quality of this book would not be what it is today without the immeasurable help of Crystal LaBass, MA. LMHCA and Buddy Haider. As my psychological consultant and law enforcement consultants respectively, Crystal and Buddy were indispensable in making sure my characters and situations were believable. I doubt that I could ever thank them enough.

This book also created an incredible learning curve for me in that I had a beta group reading through this, chapter by chapter, even though they may not have realized that was what they were. The loyal group of people who waited with bated breath for me to post new chapters of this book on my Facebook author page became a valuable source of immediate feedback and for that I can never thank them enough.

I’d also like to acknowledge a few indispensable people who have been directly involved and who are key in the release of this book. First, Linda Niebeling, my best friend for more than 30 years, took time out of her life to follow me, once again, on a crazy road trip. This time she manned the camera that took all of the gorgeous photos that you see on the cover, in the trailer and in my teasers. I’d be lost, Linda… truly. Retta Rusaw, my PA and one of my clean readers; Jen Leisenheimer and Katie Boettcher Vaughan, also clean readers, put up with my crazy, let me vent and help me make this a beautiful book for you, my readers. Art Pratt, who magically creates my stunning covers and puts up with my late evening there needs to be just this one change… My nerdlings… they keep me crazy. And finally to my Street Team, theHardcoreStalkers, you all rock! Thank you so much for making this book awesome and keeping me from going sane!

Prologue

He clenched his jaw and fists alternately in an attempt to keep from hitting his brother, who was stomping through the workroom with a shitty attitude and foul temper. Adam Green was just as pissed off at the situation as his twin, but Austin’s full out temper tantrum was only making him angrier. The workroom was already trashed courtesy of the asshat who’d broken in during the night. Adam had no idea what, if anything, had been taken but there was no way he was going to be able to find out with Austin acting like a bull in a china shop.

Adam knew why his brother’s fuse was so short and couldn’t really blame him, but after five months of his anger at the world, piss poor attitude and general unpleasantness, enough was enough. He counted to ten, unclenched his jaw and fists then counted to ten again.

Austin, Adam said forcefully. Austin ignored him so he bellowed, "Austin!"

Austin Green stopped moving, his chest heaving and a furious fire flashing in his golden brown eyes as he stood in the middle of the debris of what had been their workroom. There were broken frames and glass everywhere and one of their finished pieces was broken, with a long jagged scar from being stepped on in the upper corner of the print. His jaw was tight and a piece of broken frame was in his right hand… he couldn’t remember picking anything up. Austin looked at Adam and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that his brother was pissed. But he couldn’t tell if Adam’s anger was entirely because of the break-in or if his own behavior had pushed Adam’s ire higher.

Austin, it’s no good, Adam finally breathed wearily.

What’s no good? Austin asked warily, his voice brittle in his rage. Adam sighed deeply and Austin saw a myriad of emotions… none of them good… pass over his brother’s face.

Dude, you’ve been stomping around here for the last five months like a bear with a thorn in its paw, a tiger on its ass and an abscess in its tooth. I get it… it sucks that Cassie… Adam started but broke off at Austin’s tortured snarl.

Don’t! Don’t fucking say it!

Austin! Adam sighed unhappily. I’m sorry. I’m sorry it happened and I’m sorry you’re hurting but you have to get a damned grip. I don’t expect you to just forget after five months but you need to stop taking it out on me and everyone else around you.

Austin scowled at his brother but didn’t say anything so Adam continued.

I want you to take the summer off. Go somewhere far away from here and get your shit together.

"What? Austin howled indignantly. Are you kicking me out?"

No… I’m telling you to take some time and get your shit together. Find a place where you can give yourself an attitude adjustment and dump the fucking anger! Adam countered, his own irritation bleeding into his words.

Austin opened his mouth to tell his brother exactly what he thought of Adam’s dumbass idea as the rage that had become his constant companion since December boiled up and threatened to overflow, yet again. His mouth snapped shut when the bell rang indicating a customer had entered their store. With one last furious glare aimed at his twin, Austin slammed the piece of frame onto the bench in front of him and turned away from Adam, leaving the workshop to help the customer.

* * *

With a string of vicious curses, Fiona Harper put her photography equipment into her ‘69 Pontiac GTO then she bent to examine the long scratch in the crystal turquoise paint on the back quarter panel. With an exasperated poof, Fiona blew her hair from her eyes that were, in her fury, the color of dark slate. Her job had been cancelled without anyone letting her know beforehand and now someone had scratched her car without leaving any acknowledgement, apology, or insurance information. What the hell is wrong with people? Bastard was lucky I didn’t see him do it.

She paced in front of the car as the impotent rage boiled within her and made Fiona want to lash out at somebody… anybody. It took so little to push Fiona’s anger into a rage and she knew when it reached a full-fledged wrath, she was a menace to people and driving was a bad idea… really bad. Thank god she only had one more stop before she could go home and have a proper temper tantrum… she needed to break something… badly.

After a few more minutes of pacing, Fiona got into her GTO and started it. She drove to the frame shop where she was supposed to pick up a print she’d had framed for a customer in Minnesota. With another scowl at the offensive scratch, Fiona locked her car and muttered under her breath, I hope Jeff can buff that out.

Striding angrily into the frame shop, Fiona came to a stop at the counter and tapped the surface impatiently. Moments later, a tall man with dark rusty colored hair that was streaked with sun-bleached highlights stepped from the back with a hard look on his chiseled face.

Can I help you, ma’am? he asked in a deep, smooth voice that washed over her like a warm wave in spite of its hard edge of pique.

Yes, you called to let me know that my piece was ready for pickup, Fiona replied tersely.

Name?

Harper.

The man turned without another word and Fiona, in spite of herself and her foul mood, could not help but admire the way his ass filled out the faded Wranglers that he was wearing. Her sense of irritation and foreboding flared when he returned without her print.

I’m very sorry, but it was damaged… he started in a low voice that was not only wary but angrier.

Let me see it, Fiona cut him off in a dangerous voice, her eyes narrowed as her rage burned hotter and deadlier. He turned again and this time returned with the print that she’d come to pick up. The frame was broken and she could see the outline of a dusty footprint on the corner of it. Near the footprint was a scratch in the actual print that was at least three inches long.

We had a… he was saying but Fiona’s temper could take no more. She struggled to keep her colorful and vicious language contained.

"Mother’s love! she snarled, I can’t deal with this shit right now… I’ll call you when I’m calm enough to make a rational decision."

With that, Fiona stormed from the shop, her fury pressing on her and her need to break something all-consuming.

* * *

What a damned disaster! She’s one of our best customers! Adam fumed as Austin returned to the workshop with the damaged print. Austin was beyond caring. The feeling of being shoved violently and viciously away by his own brother outweighed anything any unhappy customer could dish. He dropped the print on the workbench, gave Adam one last scathing look and left the shop. Thinking only that he needed a bottle of whatever liquor he could get his hands on and that he needed to forget his shitty life, Austin got into his ’69 Dodge Charger and sped from the back lot. He paused at the driveway to admire and let a beautiful turquoise GTO pass then left the misery of Olympia behind. Austin returned to what was now his refuge, twenty acres of land between Olympia and Shelton where the house he’d built to be with Cassie was and where his horses were.

He scoured the cupboards looking for any alcohol he’d missed in his other passes through the house and found only one bottle… one he’d been leery to touch up to now. Austin grabbed the bottle roughly, its green liquid sloshing in the confines of the glass and he stared at it for a long moment. Absinthe… a banned and vilified spirit… a joke from a friend when he’d announced his engagement to Cassie. With an angry, defiant snort, Austin opened it and tipped the bottle.

Sonofabitch! he choked as he swallowed. Aarrgh!

With a gasp, Austin strode to the refrigerator and yanked a Miller from the case and without putting the absinthe down, he opened the beer and chugged half of it down to wash the taste of anise from his mouth. He grabbed a second beer and went to the back porch of his house to plop in an Adirondack chair. With a gag and a shudder, Austin swallowed another mouthful of the absinthe and chased it with more beer. He watched the sun reach its zenith and start back down toward the horizon as he sat in his chair. After two more shots of absinthe and the second beer, Austin was passed out in the chair.

Hours later, his head was a time bomb building to its explosion… his mouth and throat were on fire… and Austin was still in abject misery. The green fairy fucked me without a kiss! He looked down at the bottle that was barely visible in the gathering darkness of the mid-May evening.

Aah fuck, Cassie, I’m sorry. This isn’t the way it should be. He moaned. The ache in his chest was as bad as the pain in his head. He was glad that Cassie wasn’t here to see the devil he’d become… he knew she’d be so disappointed in him. Austin stood unsteadily from the chair and with all of the strength he had, he pitched the bottle of absinthe into the dark. He fell drunkenly into the chair from the impetus of his throw but smiled crookedly when he heard the bottle shatter in the distance.

Again, Austin dragged himself from the chair and this time he stumbled into the house where he collapsed on the couch to sleep off the alcohol.

1

Yes, I’ve been riding for the better part of twenty years. I have a pair of roans if I need to bring them. Austin said into the receiver. The cordless phone was trapped between his left shoulder and ear as he Google searched the Lazy D Dude Ranch on his laptop.

Yes, I know how to break horses… no I’ve never done any ferrying. What kind of time frame are we looking at? Austin asked with his eyes narrowed in concentration. How many?

Austin listened for another long moment, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

Forty horses, spring broke by the first week of June and a commitment to stay until the end of August. I can leave tomorrow. Austin clarified. No, it doesn’t much matter what the pay is. I’ll see you no later than Monday.

Austin hung up the phone and turned his attention to the screen of his laptop. The idea of spending the summer in Montana buried deep in the Crazy Mountains was oddly appealing, especially if he was going to be on horseback. Austin blinked his gritty eyes and rubbed his pounding forehead. No cell service either, Adam… you ass… far away just like you wanted.

With a disgusted snarl at the thought of his brother, Austin snapped the laptop shut and left the table. If he was going to be leaving in the morning, he had a lot of shit to do.

By ten that evening, Austin was ready to go. He was restless as hell and knew he should sleep but the idea of sleeping in that bed alone was more than he could bear. Cassie was still too much of a presence there. Austin picked up his laptop and moved to the couch where he opened it. He checked his e-mail and scanned over a dozen or so job proposals. He responded to the ones he wanted to accept and declined the rest, choosing long term jobs rather than short term. Austin had let his design work slack over the last five months but thankfully his clients understood and had let him slide. He fell asleep on the couch with the laptop open on his lap. Sometime in the night, Austin turned the computer off and closed it then pulled the quilt off the back of the couch, covered himself and went back to sleep.

The sun hit Austin in the face, making his eyes burn in spite of being closed. He’d had no alcohol in more than twenty-four hours and the withdrawal of it from his system after five months was as painful as the absinthe had been. He groaned in misery as he lay on his back and covered his eyes with his hand. Yet another night on this fucking couch… I think I’m gonna burn this damn thing. Austin pulled himself upright and fought the queasy sensation that assaulted him. Blinking, bleary-eyed and dizzy, he looked around. His eyes landed on the packed saddlebags next to the door and in a rush, the memory of his summer job returned. Shit! I have to get going!

Austin pushed himself from the couch and stretched. His back protested viciously after being tortured by the couch. Shuffling into the kitchen, he went about making a pot of coffee and put some hot water into his Thermos. By the time Austin had showered, shaved and dressed, the coffee was enticing him. He poured a cup and sat at his kitchen table feeling almost human… or as human as you can with a mangled mess for a heart and a permanent hangover. Austin pulled a pad of paper over and wrote a quick note to Adam saying he’d left and asking if Adam would take care of his horses. He didn’t say where he was going or when he’d be back and a small vindictive grin played on his lips as he lifted his cup to take a drink.

Twenty minutes later, Austin was headed north on Interstate 5 on his Harley Night Rod after stopping at Adam’s house to leave the note for him on the refrigerator. He continued north, then exited onto 18 E headed toward Auburn, until he merged onto Interstate 90 headed east. It was nearly five-thirty when Austin hit the city limits of Missoula, Montana. He was tired and ready to be off his bike. Exiting the interstate onto Reserve Street, Austin got a room at the Econo Lodge, pulled his saddlebags from his Harley and trudged up the stairs to his room. With a small groan Austin collapsed on the bed, his leathers still on and his saddlebags on the floor at his feet.

When Austin woke, the room was dark and he was completely disoriented. He sat upright, his heart racing. With the creak of his leather jacket and chaps, he remembered the long ride on his Harley and remembered that he was in Montana. He twisted the tiny knob on the lamp to his left and light flared. Shaking his head at his own foolishness, Austin took his boots and leathers off.

It was early the next morning when Austin checked out of his room and, after drinking a cup of coffee, refilling his Thermos, and eating a muffin from the continental breakfast bar, he was back on his Harley. A little after noon he pulled into the Town Pump on the eastern edge of Big Timber. He took his helmet off and breathed deeply. The air was different here… cleaner… freer somehow. It invigorated him and cleared his head like nothing had in five long months. After gassing up his bike, Austin followed East First Avenue over the Yellowstone River where it turned into US 191. Taking a left off of US 191 onto a dirt road, he had to slow down. Avoiding the patches of washboard road and the bigger potholes, Austin made his way to the turn-off that would lead him to the ranch. Thirty minutes after he’d left the paved highway, he saw the sign announcing that he’d arrived at the Lazy D Dude Ranch. A small dirt parking area was to the left of a massive gate that was under the sign. The gate was closed and locked, so Austin left his Harley in the parking area and jumped the fence.

A sandy-haired man with a bushy brown mustache came up from a cabin made of lodgepole pine trees that was on the immediate left of the road that Austin was walking on. He had a battered tan Stetson perched comfortably on his head, was wearing a dirty Carhartt duster, faded Wranglers, a western belt buckle and well-worn boots.

Can I help you? the man asked as Austin neared him. Austin noticed that this man was about four inches shorter than himself and younger than he’d thought from a distance.

I’m looking for Dean or Briana Rose, Austin announced.

I’m Dean Rose, the man said and Austin smiled a little as he relaxed.

Austin Green. We spoke on the phone a couple days ago.

Oh right! Wow, you made good time coming from Washington. Dean grinned under his mustache, his countenance relaxing considerably as he shook Austin’s hand. As they walked to the building to the left that Dean called ‘the office,’ Dean pointed, with his left hand, to a cabin just south of the office. Austin was surprised to see deep scars on his new boss’s hand and that his index and middle fingers were missing. What the hell happened there?

That’s where Briana and I stay. I’ll show you to your cabin after I introduce you to my wife. Dean smiled under his mustache.

Sounds like a plan, Austin smiled back.

Three days later, Austin had finally grown accustomed to the thin air of being at an elevation of over six thousand feet and he was used to the trek down the mountainside from the cabin he’d been shown to the corrals just over the Big Timber Creek. He was acclimatized to the freezing nights and cool days, he was grateful his sleeping bag was rated for forty below zero temperatures, and he enjoyed the wildlife that was always around.

Austin was also exhausted in a way that he had never been in his entire life. It was a good, clean exhaustion brought about by plenty of fresh air and hard work. He relished the nights of peaceful sleep and the days filled with the challenges of spring breaking the herd of horses that would soon be used as mounts for the guests of the ranch. Each day he and Dean and usually Briana, Dean’s wife, would work several horses then take three of them into the wilderness where Austin was learning the trails and points of interest. This place, deep in the mountains, was a soothing tonic to his tortured soul.

It was early morning on Wednesday, and Austin had finished an excellent breakfast that Briana had cooked. He stood outside the small cabin that she shared with Dean while he waited for Briana to join him. Austin had instantly liked both Dean Rose and his wife. Their warm, inviting personalities and welcoming demeanor had put him as ease. He’d sat for nearly an hour in the small two-room office getting to know his new bosses and learning how they ran things. Because he was one of the few adult staff members that would be in attendance for the summer, Dean and Bri had given him permission to step beyond the counter into the back of the office. With a working knowledge of the dude ranch’s policies and procedures, Austin was quickly put in a position of authority.

Briana Rose stepped from her cabin, which was a simple three-room affair with a main living space, a bedroom and a small kitchen made from the same lodgepole pine that every other cabin on the ranch was made from. She was an attractive woman about five years older than he was. Austin enjoyed watching the loving light that made the green flecks in her brown eyes flare whenever she was discussing the ranch and its history. Her dark brown hair was cut in an A-line style that flattered her face and she had dimples that deepened whenever she laughed. It was obvious to Austin that Briana Rose was a rancher at heart and her thin, wiry body was strong and well-muscled because of it.

Dean joined them halfway down the hillside, before they reached the bridge that spanned the creek. The three were quickly becoming friends and Austin relished the acceptance that he felt from it. Once at the corrals, Austin paused to scratch the little Calico cat that Bri had told him was named Patches, deftly avoiding the drop of drool that fell from the cat’s mouth. The barn was a good sized building at the end of the trail leading from the upper part of the ranch. There were two large corrals, one on each end of the barn where the horses were penned while working with them. Without discussion, the three adults each went about their business, having fallen quickly into a routine, getting ready to work the horses for the day.

Austin was in the far corral patiently working with a young mare named Willow when a high-pitched, agonized scream pierced the still mountain air, making the hair on his body stand on end. Abandoning Willow, he launched himself to the fence and climbing it quickly, leaping off it from near the top. He boots slowed him down as he sank into the muddy, thawing ground. When he reached the front corral, he found Briana writhing in agony in the mud while Dean was trying to keep the now skittish horses away from his wife. Austin was at her side as quickly as the muck would allow him.

Shhh… stop moving, Bri… let me help you, he murmured softly, trying to calm her and keep from further spooking the horses. He put his hand on her face and locked eyes with her. Austin saw the pain in her face and made quick work of feeling her jean clad leg.

Your leg is broken, Bri. I’m going to lift you off the ground and use my body to brace it, okay? Austin said gently, his eyes still locked with hers. Briana’s breathing was shallow and he could feel her heart was racing as she nodded her assent. Austin turned to Dean, who was visibly shaken.

I’m going to lift Bri, but I need to go through the gate.

Dean nodded his understanding and began moving the horses from the entrance.

All right, Bri, here we go, Austin said. Then with as much caution and care as he could muster, he lifted the trembling woman, pulling her broken leg to his abdomen to give it support. Briana let out a small cry before the shock and pain overcame her and she passed out. Quickly, Austin moved to the gate as Dean opened it then closed it securely. The two men hurried up the mountainside as quickly as they could, Dean detouring to the right when they hit the road to the campground just south of the fence that separated the ranch from the road. Austin waited at the top of the hill on the road by the office while Dean brought a Chevy Suburban around to collect his wife.

Austin carefully put Briana into the back seat of the Chevy and looked at Dean who was ghostly and shaking.

Are you okay to drive? Or do you want me to?

I’m good. Thanks Austin. Can you man the fort? Dean answered, visibly marshaling himself.

I can… you go.

Okay, I’ll call when I have news.

All right.

With that, Dean sped away from the ranch, leaving Austin in a cloud of dust and a haunting nightmare.

* * *

Fiona sang loudly to the swaggering tune of Queen V’s Revolution Baby as it blared throughout her small house, her feather duster was being used as her microphone. The buzz of her cell phone on her hip startled her and she dropped the duster. Swallowing over her surprise, Fiona pressed stop on her iPod, silencing the music. Grabbing her phone, she pressed answer.

This is Fiona, she said as she pressed the phone to her ear.

Fi, its Bri, a groggy, heavy voice said and Fiona felt an instant surge of alarm.

Bri? What’s wrong? Where are you?

I’m in Billings, I need your help.

Bri, honey, I’m not in Billings…

I know, Fiona! Let me finish for a change! Briana Rose admonished her younger sister.

Sorry, Fiona muttered quietly, a feeling of guilt flashing over her at her sister’s chide.

Look, Fi, I need you to do me the biggest favor I’ve ever asked of you. I need help and only you can give it.

Talk to me, Bri, Fiona said as she sat on the edge of her ratty old sofa, unease settling over her.

There’s been an accident at the ranch. I’m in the hospital in Billings… my leg is broken and I had surgery yesterday to set it. I can’t work this summer at the ranch… I mean I can be there but there is no way I can navigate the trails, the hillside or check on the staff. I need you to come and do this for me… be my legs.

The flash flood of emotions that struck Fiona made her dizzy. Fear for her sister, concern over her injury flared hot, as did the incapacitating nausea at the mere idea of getting near that ranch. A cold sweat broke over her body and her heart began racing.

Bri… I can’t… Fiona breathed as the terror swept her viciously.

You know I wouldn’t ask at all if it weren’t an emergency… I swear if Dean could handle it alone, I wouldn’t bother you, but you know he’s shit when it comes to cooking and cleaning. I have staff showing up starting on the first and I need you… Please Fi, I’m begging you.

Bri… Fiona whimpered. Her body was a mass of terrified and trembling nerves and it was all she could do not to throw up on the carpet at her feet.

I’m begging Fi… please, Briana whispered and Fiona heard the worry and tension in her sister’s voice. She knew without a doubt that she’d do it because Bri needed her… and when Fi had needed someone, Bri had been there for her.

Fine, but I’m coming to Billings first… I need to make sure you’re all right, Fiona acquiesced dizzily, knowing that she was going to be sick and fighting it desperately.

Good, I need to see you too… I miss you, Briana agreed and Fiona heard the relief in Briana’s voice.

Yeah, I’ll see you in a couple days… I have to go now… Fiona gasped, the nausea closing in on her rapidly.

Okay… Thanks, Fi… I love you, Briana said. Fiona nodded, pinching her eyes shut against her need to throw up.

Love you, too.

Fiona hung up and dropped the phone as she raced for the bathroom, narrowly making it before her body revolted.

Excuse the hell out of me? What did you just say?

Fiona winced and held her phone away from her ear as her best friend screeched into the phone. She’d just explained to Angie Hartman that she was leaving in the morning to go back to Montana and Angie was taking it so much worse than Fiona had expected her to. They’d met in the lobby of their counselor’s office and had instantly bonded as though they’d known each other forever. There were no secrets between them… Angie knew the horror pulsing through Fiona.

I have to go, Angie, Bri needs me and I can’t tell her no. She saved my life… it’s the least I can do. Fiona grimaced, fighting the nausea once again… the subject alone enough to bring it back.

But Fi… you hate that place… it… it… Angie said softly, hearing the terror, pain, and misery in her friend’s voice.

I know, but Bri needs me. For her, I’ll do it… I’ll suffer through it and if I survive the summer… well then, it’ll be one more step on the road to my recovery. Fiona said trying desperately to ease the horror in her chest that made breathing difficult. Angie chuckled at the old joke that they’d used to help each other through some of the worst shit that life had dealt them.

Oh god, Fi, are you sure?

I have to…

I’ll be here if you need me. You call and I’ll get to you as fast as possible.

Yeah… thanks. I have to go throw up again. Fiona breathed as she gagged.

Do I need to come over? Angie asked with a frown.

No… bye.

Fiona hung up and, again, rushed to the bathroom.

Okay… okay… I can do this… Fiona muttered repeatedly to herself, trying to concentrate on just breathing in and out. She was standing next to her Suzuki V-Storm 650, saddlebags packed, backpack on her back with her laptop, helmet in her hands. It was early Friday morning and she was trying desperately to convince herself to get on the bike. She swallowed back the nausea, knowing that there was nothing left in her body to give up. Her heart was racing and she was covered in cold sweat.

I can do this… I have to see Bri. Billings is okay… I can do this.

Clenching her eyes shut as tightly as she could, Fiona pulled her helmet down and fastened it with trembling hands. She breathed in the familiar smell and it oddly