Dancing Barefoot in the Rain: How to Fully Embrace Your Life 2nd Edition

By E. STJERNE

Hope decides to leave her old life behind, when constraints and unfulfilled dreams make her life unbearable. She follows her childhood dream of travelling around the world that she envisioned together with her grandfather. Although discouraged by family and friends she is determined to live out her dream. Follow Hope on her two-year adventure tr

• Language: English
• Publisher: TOPLINK PUBLISHING, LLC
• Release date: Nov 28, 2018
• ISBN: 9781970066470

E. STJERNE

Elisabeth Stjernqvist is a deep energy mindfulness coach, working in Stockholm, Sweden. She also runs a bed and breakfast in her big house on the hill, where she lives with her husband, a daughter, and her cute dog. She has long since had a call to help others with problems she has had very personal experience with herself, things like learning how to forgive, rejecting negative thinking, making life altering decisions and attracting success in finances, career choices and love. This book may very well give you the introduction and inspiration to live that joyous life that you have always wanted. Gain a new understanding of how important it is to envision the positive in your life. To contact her, please visit https://lifetransformation.se/contact.

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Dancing Barefoot In The Rain

How to Fully Embrace Your Life

2nd Edition

E. Stjerne

Copyright © 2018 by E. Stjerne.

Paperback: 978-1-970066-46-3

eBook: 978-1-970066-47-0

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

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Printed in the United States of America

Contents

Acknowledgements

1. A Shoemaker’s Dream

2. Towards the Unknown

3. The Importance of a Mountain

4. Life Without Walls

5. Crossing Borders

6. The Fall of Hope

7. A Reckoning of Love

8. A Place of Darkness

9. The Hitman

10. Russian Roulette

11. The Homecoming

12. A View from the Top

13. The Real Tooth-fairy

14. The House on the Hill

15. An Invitation to the Dance

The Weaver

My Life is but a weaving

between my Lord and me;

I cannot choose the colors

He worketh steadily.

Oft times He weaveth sorrow

And I, in foolish pride,

Forget He sees the upper,

And I the underside.

Not till the loom is silent

And the shuttles cease to fly,

Shall God unroll the canvas

And explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful

In the Weaver’s skillful hand,

As the threads of gold and silver

In the pattern He has planned.

The Weaver

by Benjamin Malachi Franklin used by permission."

Acknowledgements

I would like to acknowledge two very special people in my life. They all inspired me to go out and live life without fear. The first person is my grandfather. His dream of becoming a world traveler is what first inspired me at a young age. He planted the desire to go out of my little town and explore the potential of the world around me. The second person is my father, who probably lived in every town with a railway station in Sweden. He was a train engineer and travelled his whole life. He taught me how to have an open mind to people and circumstances around me. He also told me that nothing will ever happen if I stay at home. I must open the door and step out before anything can happen. I am eternally grateful to them both. The third person I want to acknowledge is my mother. Although I never understood her while we were together, I have later come to the realization that she was one of the bravest women I ever met. I never understood how much I resemble her until later on in life. It was from her that I inherited my determination and decisiveness in the face of any obstacle. I am eternally grateful to all of them.

I also want to thank my husband and daughters who has given me the support and encouragement taking care of all the things I didn’t have time to do during these two years of writing. A very special thanks to my daughter Reyna who never stopped believing me and untiringly helped me to understand how to build my sentences. Without her help you would not be reading this book. Also, to my youngest daughter Adriane who initiated my writing and helped put me in contact with the author coach, Ann Ljungberg, whom I have followed and been in and out of contact with for many years.Thank you.

Mission Marketing Mentors for coaching me on everything I never knew about writing and getting a book published.

Last but not the least, I thank my good Australian friend, Maxine Lockman, for the invaluable help to read through the material and making sure that my English readers will understand the content of this book.

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.

‘Confucius’

1. A Shoemaker’s Dream

As the boat reached the shore, only one man debarked. He was a tall middle-aged man with red shining hair. His tanned body started to move in Hope’s direction, but it wasn’t until he got closer that he finally saw her. He hesitated and looked dumbfounded at seeing her. It was an unexpected meeting on this desolate small Pacific island. Instead of the expected island natives, he had found Hope sitting on this beach with her sun-bleached hair and blue eyes and her basket full of sea shells. Who are you and what are you doing here? she heard the man ask but she stood there as frozen in time unable to speak.

They observed one another. Somehow, this red-haired man gave Hope a sensation they had met before…

It had all started w hen …

Darn it! How much longer does this have to take? Hope thought to herself as she waited for her dentist appointment. The assistant at the front desk had just told her the dentist would run half an hour late. Impatiently, Hope scanned the small waiting room and noted the man seated in the same waiting room as her. He looked as bored as she was. It was not as if she was that eager to return to her job, which was about as exciting as… waiting for a dentist appointment… No. Hope hated sitting around doing nothing. At the office, there would at least be something useful she could do. Moreover, there was an additional advantage in returning to work. She didn’t have to anticipate having someone stick metal implements in her mouth.

It felt like a waste of her time to just sit around, but if she was completely honest, this was the same feeling she had most of the time back at her office desk. Annoyed not only by the situation, but by her thoughts, she started looking at the pile of glossy magazines sitting on top of the glass table. She needed a distraction.

Hope scattered the magazines on the table in search for something semi-entertaining to read. She never read magazines normally, it was a waste of time, but at this point anything was acceptable to pass the time. Finally, she spotted an interesting-looking mag and picked it out of the heap; it was a travel magazine with colorful photos of landscapes.

As she riffled through the pages, she couldn’t stop her bitter progression of thought. Hope detested the life she lived. For a long while now, she had begun feeling like life was slipping through her fingers. For three years, she had been engaged with someone she had very little in common with. She and her fiancé Brian quarreled more than they did anything else. It wasn’t even about things worth fighting about. They were stupid things, arguments of no importance at all. But it seemed that it was these little things that would set them both off. Hope had realized after a year that all Brian wanted was a second mother to take care of him, which irritated Hope for most of the time they were together. If that wasn’t annoying enough, every time Hope wanted to talk to him about anything or make him see her point of view, he would reveal the depth of their differences and say something stupid or insensitive. He never even realized how it hurt her feelings. For the last several months, Hope had understood that their relation wasn’t going to work.

While these gloomy thoughts were spinning around in her head, a travel journal in the magazine caught her eye. The title ‘Around-The-World’, sparked her interest. As Hope started to read, it triggered a memory she had misplaced somewhere along the way. Visions formed in her head as she continued reading.

Suddenly, a memory flashed through her mind. How could she have forgotten?

She remembered when she had been a little kid, only eight, when her uncle and aunt had come to visit from Venezuela. She could still recall clearly the rush of excitement as she listened to her uncle describe the jungles of the Amazon. His stories about the dangerous boa constrictors and the crocodiles he had seen. As a kid, she had been certain she would become an explorer and travel around the world one day. Where had all that confidence and enthusiasm gone?

When she returned to the present, Hope wondered to herself, am I really the only one that feels this dissatisfaction with the world? Could it be possible that that assistant sitting behind the front desk, with her stiff upper lip and finicky hairdo, only disguised her dreams of parachuting herself off an airplane? Maybe the apathetic people around her all had their own hidden dreams just like her.

She couldn’t understand how she had ended up with such an insipid life like this. She was a corporate rat, mindlessly going about an unadventurous cycle that had no end. She didn’t even question it anymore. Everything was routine. She had always imagined herself as an incredible adventurer when she had been young. What an amazing adventurer I turned out to be, she thought dejectedly.

But wasn’t that exactly what she had thought before she entered the world of adults?

Hope remembered the summer she had turned eighteen. It was the year her grandfather had passed away and she had just finished her education as a draftswoman. Hope had been enjoying a small summer break before starting her first job drawing city maps in Gothenburg. She had decided to spend her last time as a carefree teenager with her friend Anne.

Anne’s place was an old abandoned house that she had managed to rent cheap. There was no electricity and they had to pump their water from an old well outside, but these things didn’t bother Hope. It was a bit rough, but enjoyable nonetheless to be out of the congestion and busyness of the big city. Hope remembered lying on a blanket on the lawn and saw herself getting up to go fix herself a cup of coffee.

She called out loudly to her friend. Hey Anne! Where did you put the coffee tin?

Anne answered back on her way out to the garage shed. It’s in the cupboard under the knife drawer before she disappeared inside the garage to continue fiddling with her old Volkswagen Beetle. She was changing the oil or doing some other completely unnecessary modification.

Hope, with a mug of steaming coffee in hand, returned to her blanket and picked up the book she had been reading. Hope waved to Anne when she saw her head popping up from under the hood of the car. Her face was completely covered in black motor oil, making Hope laugh at the sight. Hope stretched out and savored the coffee, soaked up the warm goodness of the sun and listened with half an ear to the radio.

Hope forgot her book when she heard the distinct tune of a familiar radio talk show commencing. The theme: ‘Impressions of a lifetime.’ She got drawn in as the guest speaker started talking about his life. The guest was a well-known opera singer in his late sixties. The host asked the opera singer what he would change in his life if he could turn back time. Hope stared up at the sky, hands behind her back, and waited with the rest of the virtual audience to hear the singer’s reply.

As he recounted some of the amazing events of his life, one phrase stuck out in Hope’s mind:

…I regret worrying about everybody else’s expectations. I wish I had done things my way and run barefoot in the rain instead. I’m too old now and the only thing I have left are my dreams. For those of you listening out there, make sure to live out your dreams while you still can. Don’t end up wishing for the things you could have done but never did. Go out there and live life while you can. Don’t sit and wait for someone to come knocking at your door.

These words brought out fresh sadness. It reminded her of how she and her grandfather had used to daydream together about travelling to different places around the world. Now, grief overwhelmed her; he had died without realizing any of those dreams.

At that time, Hope remembered thinking, how will I end up in my old age? Am I going to feel like this old man? Will I keep my dreams to myself without ever realizing them, like my grandfather? She did not want to end up like that.

Suddenly, she felt like she was suffocating. She had to get out of that waiting room; so, without thinking, she ditched her dentist appointment and left the clinic in a daze.

After wandering down the street to gather her composure, she went back to her office at the architect company she was working at. She did not want to remember anymore or think about all the regrets she had accumulated so far either, but the thoughts would not leave her alone as she went about her routine.

Now that these old memories had awakened, she felt forced to contemplate her life and the way she was living it. Every time she compared her current life with her childhood dreams and expectations, she ended up disappointed. Her insides were churning in turmoil. She couldn’t ignore it anymore; everything inside Hope was yelling at her that her life was off track.

After a couple of ineffectual hours of work, Hope had to quit and went to the breakroom to get some coffee and try to get her head on straight. When she entered the room, Hope found Robert, one of her colleagues having a cup of coffee. She sat down beside him and started a conversation. Perhaps, if she discussed her problems with someone else, it would make more sense. After a while though, Hope realized that Robert might not have been the best person to talk to. He was renowned for voicing his opinions on everything, even if it came to a fight. But by now, Hope needed to vent her feelings with somebody.

They talked a little about their frustrations at work and then ventured into childhood dreams, finally she said, Maybe I should just jump on a plane and leave everything behind me. Imagine going to see the world for a year!

Go where?

I don’t know. Any place would do. Maybe I’ll just buy myself a ticket around-the-world. I read in a magazine you can do that. Apparently, you can get a good deal too. What do you think?

She had finally voiced her innermost thoughts, she waited expectantly to see what Robert’s response would be. Her co-worker turned towards her and looked at her like she had just declared she would take off to the moon.

You can’t be serious he shook his head in derision. You’d quit your job? Leave your family and friends? Leave your flat? You’re engaged! Are you going to leave your fiancé as well? I don’t believe for a second that he’d go with you, let me tell you. Do you really want to go out there where you don’t even know their language or culture? Anything could happen to you and nobody here at home would be able to help you. And what’s out there that we haven’t got here, huh? You have a good life here and you want to leave everything to go off exploring God knows what? I think you’ve just lost all your senses.

Hope shouldn’t have been disappointed. She knew she had picked the wrong person to talk to if she wanted sympathy. But Robert hadn’t finished speaking his mind, the patronizing tone grated on her nerves as he continued, And what about your future? If you leave your job it would severely hurt your credentials. Can you imagine a resume with a one-year hole in it? Who would hire you? Don’t be a fool. Bottom line: It’s a BAD IDEA.

He chuckled as he sucked on the words, travel around the world, yeah right!"

Arrogant prick, Hope thought before she responded. So, you’re saying I’m a fool for wanting to do something other than pushing papers around day after day for the rest of my life? She was angry now at his condescension and know-it-all attitude. I think it would be even stupider to be happy to stay like that, in my opinion. But obviously, you seem to be completely content to do just that. There must be something I’m missing if I can’t find enjoyment in continuing the corporate rat race that is so rewarding to you. For some inexplicable reason, I just can’t seem to wait to escape it.

If I had so much money to spare, I’d buy myself a car instead Robert replied stiffly. Hope laughed at his denseness. This was not about money. Yeah, that would cure my ailment. A car! Maybe it’ll be as exciting as traveling to Hawaii or the Philippines!

As their coffee break ended, he looked back at her and raised an eyebrow in skepticism. You know what? I don’t believe you’d dare to do it. But if, for some crazy reason, you do buy that plane ticket, I’ll come and wave you off at the airport he finished this with a snug little grin, assured that this would never happen. He probably thought that all his logical and sound arguments were enough to dissuade her from going through with the silly idea.

Hope should have known better than expect encouragement from this arrogant windbag. All she was left with was a sense of irritation at Robert and an inflamed spirit towards every other person who had ever discouraged her from following her innermost desires.

It had always been the same. Even since childhood, no one had ever taken her seriously. Voicing her aspirations to travel to foreign lands, not even her parents had believed her. Not her friends either. Instead they’d looked at Hope as a hopeless and deluded romantic. As an adolescent, she had kept her thoughts to herself. It had been hard enough being a teenager, she didn’t want to keep hearing their snickering as she brought the subject up. Everyone around her either mocked her or made it clear those were unrealistic fantasies. It was not surprising that Hope stopped talking about it, nor was it difficult to understand why she eventually forgot about them altogether.

But one good thing had come from her conversation with Robert. Their chat had crystalized her thoughts and brought her long-buried dreams back to the surface. She had voiced them out loud for the first time in years. And this time, she was no longer a little kid or an insecure teenager: she was a woman. She could no longer be intimidated by others’ opinions. Somewhat refreshed after this meeting, she went back to work with new vigor.

That night, when Hope was lying in her bed sleeping, she had a very vivid dream. She relived one of her earliest memories as a young girl.

Hope remembered her childhood home in Kiruna and her parents strained relationship with her mother’s parents. It had been hard for a little five-year-old to understand the tense and cold atmosphere that pervaded in her family. But in Hope’s dream, she clearly recalled one specific day when she witnessed a particularly fierce argument between her mom and grandmother. Hope had tiptoed into the vestibule and peered into the kitchen while the voices grew louder and angrier. As the shouting reached a crescendo, she had become so overwhelmed by the hate that she had been forced to escaped.

Now, the little girl walked through the empty streets of her small home town. She remembered the familiar short-cut she used to take while going to visit her grandfather. She passed the big cluster of bushes where she would play hide-and-seek with her best friend. She skipped down the play yard and continued around a corner, all her worries forgotten. She passed houses and stores on her adventurous journey through the neighborhood.

She wasn’t supposed to go anywhere by herself. The town was safe, but once, she had lost herself in the forest and everyone had had to come looking for her. Now, nobody knew where she had disappeared to. But this did not worry little Hope. They didn’t know she was going to visit her grandfather at his shoe store.

Truly, grandfather always saved her when a tough day came along, like that day. Hope remembered reaching up to open the door to his shop, the bell tinkling when she stepped inside. As in all dreams, immediately Hope was before her grandfather in the workshop where he usually sat and fixed his shoes. He looked right into Hope’s eyes and immediately understood why she was there. She wanted a place to hide: a refuge from adult storms. He smiled in comprehension, and without a word accepted her into his private sanctuary. In her dream, Hope guessed that he must have felt pretty amused by this little girl’s youthful escapade. Perhaps a bit flattered too, chosen for special attention by this five-year old.

Hope had always had a special bond to her grandfather, and that bond had become stronger that day. She still remembered her youthful exuberance and her feelings of pride when he handed her a hammer, some nails and an old shoe, and instructed her in how to repair it. As they worked together and talked, grandfather would always infuse Hope with a sense of confidence. The hammering of their shared work and the rumbling of his voice comforted her as he spoke of his big secret.

One day when I retire he’d said conspiratorially. I will pack up all my bags and travel around the world! Hope listened wide eyed to his secret plans. She knew she was the only one he shared those dreams with. Grandfather and granddaughter conjured up grand adventures in that little workshop. And from that moment on, the two of them would spend many afternoons in that room, working and dreaming together about fantastic places and encounters. He was one of the most important people in little Hope’s life.

Slowly, Hope woke up from her dream and dried the tears on her pillow. Oh, how she wished she could talk to her grandfather now. All these memories swirling around in her head, awakened by that journal in the magazine at the dentist’s clinic. Now they wouldn’t leave her alone. She couldn’t talk about these things with her parents or Brian. Nobody would ever understand her.

As she lay there on her bed, she again thought of the exuberant joy and conviction her aunt and uncle from Venezuela had invoked in her. She remembered when she had been eighteen and listened to that radio program on the lawn of her