This Crazy Life: Crazy Mountain Series, #3

By S. H. Pratt

Austin Green's complicated past consists of a broken home, a broken engagement, and only his twin brother, Adam, to rely on.  His dreams of the future are simple… a wife, a family and the love and stability that had been denied him in his youth. Everything Austin ever wanted stands within his reach… every dream, every hope, every desire. But the price of his dream may prove to be more than Austin can afford. Drowning in a sea of anger, resentment, and misery, his world and all of his dreams hang by the thinnest of threads, and the very foundation of his life is shaken. 

Fiona Harper had lost all hope of having a future free of horror and anger. She'd given up on love, marriage, and children, believing them to be things that other people had, not her.  Bolstered by Austin's strength, love, and support, her determination to combat the horror of her past and defeat the nightmare that has tormented her for eighteen years grows. Fiona begins to dare. She dares to hope for a future with Austin… a future that includes marriage and children.  

When the harsh reality of his late fiancée's secrets and lies crash down on them, Austin trips into a panic-laced freefall and Fiona's daring falters. As Fiona struggles to find a way to reach Austin and bring him out of the darkness of his growing misery, her battle to defeat the demons of her own past wages on.

But, in a violent and terrifying instant, their pasts collide, their future hangs in the balance, and their present becomes a waking nightmare. Roles reverse. The lost becomes the leader. The strong becomes weak. Life, love, and dreams are tested in this final book of the Crazy Mountain Series.

• Language: English
• Publisher: S. H. Pratt
• Release date: Feb 7, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386543961

Book preview

Acknowledgements

In 2015, I published the first book in what has become the largest project of my writing career, with This Crazy Love. The quality of the Green Brothers Novels – all six of them – would not be what it is today without the immeasurable help of Crystal LaBass, MA. LMHCA and Buddy Haider. As my psychological consultant and law enforcement consultants respectively, Crystal and Buddy have been indispensable in making sure my characters and situations were believable. I doubt that I can ever thank them enough.

In this book, there are a number of extremely special cameos by people who have been with me through it all. If you look (kind of like an Easter Egg Hunt) you’ll find some special characters inspired by: Tevy Song, Retta Rusaw, Jennifer Leisenheimer, Cindy Hawkins, and Roxana Planck. These lovely ladies helped me with the development and details of their characters and, I believe, have enriched the story with their parts. And to Reverend Jeri Murphy, who walked me through one of my very favorite weddings and was sweet enough to allow me to bring a cameo of her in.

As with any book I write, my family plays an incredibly huge part. They put up with my mania and incessant rambling. They cheer me on and remind me whenever needed that I don’t suck. I have a special place in my heart and memories the ‘road trip’ I took with Linda Niebeling to get the pictures for this series… I hope we enjoy many more. Art, my husband, takes my whack-doodle ideas and turns them into amazing covers… more swoopy with that font. And my nerdlings, Robyn, Tristan, and Connor… they are my reason for everything.

But, to you, my readers… I really would have nothing without you, so I would like you to know I love that you’re reading my stories and that you’ve stuck with me… even when I take forever.

Thank you all for reading and for just being awesome.

This Crazy Life

Prologue

He can’t know.

But, Candi, it’s his right.

No. Please, I’m begging you. Just take care of him. I’ll be back when it’s safe.

Fine, but I don’t like it.

Thank you! She kissed the soft down of the baby’s head, stroked his cheek then kissed the cheek of the woman holding the sleeping baby. I swear, I’ll be back. A couple months, tops.

* * *

Yes, we need the coroner and child services, a dark-haired Hispanic man in a slightly damp police uniform requested from dispatch as the detective passed him in the hallway. Detective Dylan Rocke surveyed the room, looking for some overt clue as to what had killed the woman in the chair. The room was warm but nowhere near the hundred plus heat outside. The shades were drawn tight against the late morning sun and a fan sat on a table circulating the stale air.

The place was small but tidy and it was obvious that a small child lived in the residence. Little People cars and Tonka trucks were scattered in a corner of the room where a basket of other toys sat. There were stains in the upholstery of the tan couch with its faded floral print and in the matted brown carpet. The woman sat stiffly in a blue upholstered armchair, her eyes closed and the reek of urine emanating from her. If the detective had to guess, he’d say the woman had been dead for roughly forty eight hours or less.

Dylan looked over at his partner and was grateful for the first time in the two weeks she’d been with him that Trinity Evans was a woman. The little boy had been terrified when they’d arrived and had wanted nothing to do with Dylan or any other male officer, calming only when Trinity had picked him up gently.

When they’d been called to the scene of a welfare check in which a deceased person had been discovered, he’d assumed it would be just another meth-head. He hadn’t expected to arrive at a well-kept house and find a middle-aged woman dead in her chair with a toddler cowering in her lap. The woman had no needle tracks or other outward signs of drug use and the child didn’t look as though he’d been neglected with the exception of the time he’d been on his own with his deceased caretaker.

Dylan considered the woman in the chair while his partner tended to the frightened child. Was this woman the boy’s mother? Where was his father? There was no resemblance between the woman and the boy so the Dylan guessed she was more than likely not the boy’s mother. But then, who was she? According to the landlady who’d requested the welfare check, the renter’s name was Elise Montrose, a widowed woman ‘who always paid her rent on time and always took a walk every morning’.

Child services just took the boy, Trinity said quietly as she rejoined him. Dylan looked at her and nodded.

Now we wait for the search warrant and the coroner so that we can continue, Dylan sighed.

Look at this, Trinity called from the other side of the bedroom. Dylan looked over and frowned as she seemed to be engrossed in a book. They’d been searching the house for some clue as to who the boy was and what had caused Elise Montrose’s death for over two hours and he was beginning to get frustrated. He walked over to his partner and looked over her shoulder.

What have you got there? he asked.

It’s the woman’s diary. But this was tucked in it.

Trinity handed Dylan a piece of paper folded to fit a legal-sized envelope. He took it, unfolding it to find a copy of a birth certificate. Without looking at the certificate closely, Dylan lifted it to reveal a letter with two pictures stapled to the top. The first picture was of a newborn baby boy, obviously taken hours after birth. The next was a year later. Shifting the pictures out of the way, Dylan read the letter.

To Whom it may Concern,

I, Cassandra Warner, do hereby appoint Elise Montrose guardian of my son, Sebastian Warner. This appointment is effective from this day forward until such time as I can reasonably reassume the responsibility of my son’s care. This formally gives her permission to obtain medical treatment/ records and to care for Sebastian to the best of her ability.

Sincerely,

Cassandra M. Warner

Dylan inhaled sharply in then returned to the birth certificate.

Well, it seems we need to find this Cassandra Warner, Dylan said after exhaling.

Found her, Trinity replied bluntly.

Where?

According to this, she was killed in a car accident in December nearly two years ago. Listen to this.

Dylan folded the papers in his hands back up while Trinity read aloud. ‘I went to Candi’s funeral in Washington. He was there and so very broken. A more devastated man I’ve never seen. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that Bastian, the dear baby that I held in my arms, was his son. I still believe he has the right to know, but I need to make sure that Bastian will be cared for properly before I can defy Candi’s wishes.’

Wow, within feet of his own kid and not even know. I would be so pissed if I found out. Dylan murmured.

I know, right? I guess we need to find the father. Trinity shook her head.

I guess so. Ms. Montrose had a lawyer from Caster and Sheen on retainer. Maybe they can shed some light as to the whereabouts of the father… other than in Washington.

Worth a shot.

Let’s get that cleared so that if the father wants it, he’ll have something to document his kid’s first years. Dylan pointed at the diary. He couldn’t help but think of his own son and how he’d feel if DJ had been kept a secret from him for nearly two years.

Good idea, Trinity sighed.

1

So what are you going to do about this? Fiona Harper asked, putting her hand on top of a folded and slightly worn around the edges piece of paper that sat on the sunroom table, the Celtic ring on her thumb glinting in the sunlight. She looked at Austin Green with wary, dark hazel eyes, her heart pounding erratically with a combination of fear and desire.

Fiona’s beautiful sweetheart face with hints of dimples was pale with prominent shadows under her eyes. She had a pair of eyebrow rings set side by side on her right brow – a curved barbell with silver ball on one end and carved turquoise rose on the other along with a silver barbell that had a curved cover with three polished rounds of turquoise graduating in size. A small diamond stud glittered on the left side of her nose. Her left ear sparkled with six diamond studs – three in the lobe, two at the top, in the cartilage, and one in the outer cartilage, near the middle of her ear. On the right were two diamond studs placed between the points of a delicate arabesque style scrolling earcuff that wrapped around her upper ear and was linked to a dangling, elongated scroll earring in the lobe. At the top of the earcuff and the bottom of the bangle on the earring sat yet more polished turquoise.

Still wearing her dark blue leather riding chaps and jacket, Fiona sat in the warmth of the sunroom of the house she’d shared with Austin since January. She gazed at him, his handsome face an odd mask of relief, misery, and pain. It tore at her heart to see him so tortured and unhappy.

Austin’s stunning amber eyes, usually alight with laughter, were haunted. His cheeks were covered with dark scruff, evidence he’d neglected to take care of himself since leaving Montana, the growth hiding a tiny cleft on his chin. The sensual curve of his beautifully carved lips, still slightly swollen from the desperately deep kiss they’d shared moments earlier, gave more proof of his inner turmoil. Austin’s hair was its typical sexy mess with sun-bleached streaks that flared against its dark rust color but was shaggy and lank. Everything about his appearance spoke of his restless misery and was echoed in her heart.

Austin sighed and Fiona wished that she were back in his lap, not worrying about the stupid letter he’d shown her. He’d gotten it the week before and, without a word of explanation, left the Lazy D Dude Ranch in Montana, where they’d spent the summer. Fiona had been certain he’d gotten some horrible news, but for the life of her, she hadn’t been able to figure out what would make him shut her out completely. It wasn’t until her best friend, Angie Hartman, had called in a deep and dangerous depression that Fiona had left her sister’s home in Montana and returned to Washington.

She’d come to the Victorian rancher only to get some clothes, certain Austin had washed his hands of her. Her relief had been immense when she’d seen that he wasn’t at the house and had hoped to be gone before he returned. However, Fiona had still been in the closet when he’d shown up, nearly bringing her to her knees with a heart-breaking agony that eighteen months earlier she’d have never known.

In a desperate attempt for answers Fiona issued the ultimatum that he tell her what was going on or she would leave and never return. Furious and heart-broken in the face of his continued silence, Fiona had been on her way out the door before he’d finally started talking. His admission to seeking professional help had surprised her even as it had thrilled her. But it wasn’t until he’d feared losing her completely, that he’d finally shown her the letter that had nearly broken her completely the week before.

Forgiving his abandonment in Montana and returning his engagement ring to her finger, Fiona now found herself struggling to grasp the full implications of the words she’d read. And while her heart would slowly mend, her mind burned to know what Austin was going to do and where she fit into his new and, frankly, bizarre reality.

Fi, I can only do one thing. I went to my lawyer’s office and had the test done today to verify that what the letter says is true. But if it is true, I can’t ignore my responsibility. Austin admitted quietly.

I wouldn’t expect you to, Austin. But Phoenix is a three day drive, and you still look ready to bolt. I’ve seen that look enough times in the mirror to know. And I was dead serious when I said that if you shut me out again, we’re done.

I know, Austin closed his eyes, but not before the agony of her words flared in the amber depths. I swear, I’m doing everything I can to not shut you out.

"This is fucked up, Austin. Seriously, fucked up. How the hell could she keep that shit from you for so long?’

"I don’t know. Every time I turn around I’m slapped with more proof that I really didn’t know Cassie. But I do know that I do not want to deal with any of this without you. No matter what result comes back from the test, I want to you there with me. Please say you won’t leave me because of this."

Fiona gaped at him for a long moment. He thinks that I’d leave him over this? Mother’s love! He needs to worry more about me leaving because he’s shut me out.

Austin! I would never leave you because of this! Fiona exclaimed as she clutched the letter in her fist and shook it at him.

Swear it? What if it comes back positive?

"Then we deal with shit together. It’s a two way street, Cowboy. You got my back, I got yours. Remember? That’s what you preached all fucking summer! It’s when you shut me out that we have problems."

But you didn’t ask for this…

And you asked for the mountain of issues I bring to the table?

Fair point, Sweetheart, fair point.

So what are we going to do about this? Fiona asked again.

I’m supposed to have the results back tomorrow. Austin answered miserably.

And if they’re positive?

I’ll… Austin faltered as Fiona glared pointedly at him. We’ll be going to Phoenix.

And if they’re negative?

I don’t know. The only other person Cassie could possibly have been with, at the time… that I know of, was the man who had her killed. No one knows where the hell he’s disappeared to. But I’d be inclined to take the responsibility anyway simply because I wouldn’t want that ass involved.

Fair enough. Then I guess the summer with Ella was training. Fi stated, referring to her nearly three year old adopted niece.

I guess so, Austin sighed.

Fiona looked down at the letter again and felt her heart clench in misery for Austin. Three years he’d been with Cassie and never really known the woman, never known the depth of her deceit. To find out she’d had a child before she’d been killed and that the boy was very possibly Austin’s was cruel. Fiona mentally calculated the age of the boy based on the photocopy of the birth certificate and her heart clenched again. He was nearly two. Two years that Austin had been deprived of. What the hell had Cassie been thinking?

I’m sorry she was so very deceitful and cruel, Austin. I know you loved her. Fiona breathed unhappily. Austin’s rough fingers on her cheek brought her head up so she had to look into his beautiful amber eyes.

"Never, at any point, did I love her the way I love you. You are a hundred times the woman she was and you own my heart, my body and my soul. I know I don’t deserve you, but I’m exceedingly grateful that you’re still here, willing to marry me, and are willing to deal with this shit with me." Austin said quietly.

Odd, because I don’t think I deserve you. But I’m a selfish, weak ass female and I want you, so I have a hard giving you up easily. Fiona grinned impishly.

* * *

Austin couldn’t begin to wrap his mind around Fiona’s words in the wave of relief that flooded him. The emotional toll the last week had taken on him made it difficult to believe she wasn’t giving up on him. He’d been worried that she’d despise him for his naivety, but she’d once again accepted him and his stupidity, and was talking about accepting a kid that wasn’t her own. Holy hell, how did I get so lucky?

Fi, I won’t blame you if you don’t want this, he said as he gently caressed her cheek.

Austin, how often have you stood beside me and not given up on me when I’ve been in a shitty spot? How often have you taken care of me? Well, this time, it’s my turn. If you want me with you, then I won’t let you face this alone.

Austin dropped his head to his chest, unable to express the emotions bombarding him, and rubbed his eyes tiredly. He reached for her hand and tugged her into his lap where she’d been less than half an hour earlier when she’d told him she’d still marry him. The oppressive weight of the fear and the loneliness he’d been drowning in for the last week was finally beginning to ease and he could breathe again. Austin inhaled deeply of vanilla and held her close.

You’ll really go to Phoenix with me? Austin asked in a low voice, his head pressed into her neck.

Yes, if that’s what you want.

"It’s what I need. I need you with me. And if you’re still willing to marry me, now that a child is involved, then it’s important that you be there."

Don’t you want me to marry you? Fiona narrowed her eyes. Because you still sound like you aren’t sure if you want me anymore.

I want nothing more than to marry you. I just don’t want you to resent me for the instant family when you weren’t sure you even wanted kids.

I told you at the ranch. I dare. I dare to want more and to want things that I’d given up on. Do you dare to stay with me?

Austin smiled for the first time since his entire life had flipped violently upside-down on the steps to the kitchen at the ranch in Montana.

I dare you to stop me, he beamed at her. He pulled her to him and kissed her with abandon, his heart attempting to beat properly again.

* * *

Fiona sat in Austin’s lap for a long time trying to catch her breath after his heart-stopping kiss. The knowledge that she’d just agreed to become a mom to a two year old kid who wasn’t hers was unnerving, bordering on terrifying, but the idea of making a child suffer because of her issues was unthinkable. She jumped when her cell phone rang in her heavy leather jacket. Fiona dung into the inside pocket and answered as Austin nuzzled her neck.

This is Fiona.

Hey, Fi, when are you coming back? Angie Hartman’s voice sounded as despondent and bleak as it had been days earlier. It had been that voice which had sent her speeding home from Montana. Tingles of unease shimmied up her spine. Fiona winced, knowing that she’d promised to just get clothes and leave.

I don’t know. I’ve been talking to Austin.

Good, you need to talk to him. Did you get any answers?

You need to talk to Adam, Fiona countered bluntly, unwillingly to discuss this new and strange situation yet.

He’s made himself clear, Angie replied morosely, causing Fiona’s unease to grow.

He’s been trying to call her, Austin whispered.

When is the last time you turned your cell on, Angie? Fiona asked grimly.

I don’t know, why? Angie answered.

Go turn it on… now.

Fiona could hear Angie moving around and waited patiently.

It won’t matter, Fi, Angie sighed finally.

Oh? Why is that? Fiona asked.

I went and saw Matty… you know, the kid who draws our tattoos?

Yeah, so?

We met at the mall and he drew my next piece while he ate. When he was done, we hugged.

So? Fiona asked again, unsure just where Angie was going with this, but was getting frustrated by her hedging, not to mention more concerned.

So when I went to leave, Adam was there.

Fiona gaped at Austin then put the phone to her shoulder. "Did you leave Adam near the mall?

Yeah, we were at the Red Robin over there. Why? Austin answered in a low voice with a frown.

I’ll explain in a minute, she scowled then growled sharply, ‘fuck!’ before putting the phone back to her ear, closing her eyes in an effort to calm her growing ire as she returned her focus to Angie.

Oh shit…and? Fiona asked warily.

And he basically accused me of running right out and finding someone else.

Fiona tore through a string of curses that made Austin blanch, especially when she started using some of the more colorful ones used by the Scottish wrangler who’d been at the ranch over the summer. Her face darkened and the urge to punch Adam Green in the head was strong.

Angie, we’re coming to get you. You need to not be alone and I need to finish working some shit out with Austin. Fiona stated firmly then hung up before another string of oaths poured from her mouth.

* * *

Austin winced at the words Fiona was snarling. It had been a while since he’d seen her this angry and he sincerely hoped it wasn’t directed at him. She left his lap, her hands tight fists and her dark slate grey eyes flashing dangerously. Knowing she’d hurt herself or break something if he didn’t calm her down quickly, Austin jumped from the chair and went after her.

Hey! What’s up? He asked, catching her on the threshold of the kitchen. Austin ran his hands down her arms to her fists and gently pried them open.

Your asshat of a brother! Come on, we need to go get Angie before she does something we can’t fix. Fiona snarled furiously. You’d better drive or I might go find him and run his ass over.

All right then, Austin said quietly. Before he moved, he tilted Fiona’s head up and kissed her deeply until he felt her clinging to him. When he finally lifted his head, they were both gasping and he wanted her with a ferocity that he hadn’t known in more than a year. Austin was glad to see the dazed look on Fiona’s face as she blinked slowly.

Damn, Cowboy! What the hell was that for? Fiona breathed.

I don’t think we have time for all of the reasons, so I’ll go with the short list. I love you and I needed to. Austin smirked. Besides, I’m glad it’s not me you’re pissed at.

Oh, she gaped breathlessly. Austin caught her hand, laced their fingers and led her out of the house.

We’d best go get Angie.

Angie, yes.

Austin helped Fiona into his ’69 Dodge Charger, smiling at her continued daze. By the time he pulled into Angie’s driveway, Fiona had recovered, but her mood had become one of concern rather than fury. She left the car and ran to the house. Minutes later, she returned with Angie, who looked like she’d been hit by the Mack truck of depression. The amber light that usually sparkled in her dark eyes was dim and her expression looked defeated and broken. Adam, you asshat!

Austin pulled out of Angie’s driveway and headed back toward the Interstate and Shelton. Fiona turned in her seat and looked at her friend in the backseat.

What happened, Angie? Fiona asked.

God, I’m going to kill him if he made things worse.

"After you left, I called Matty. I’ve been wanting a new tattoo and I finally decided what I wanted. We met at the mall and I bought him dinner. We chatted for a while and he drew the picture for me. Then as I was getting ready to leave, we hugged and I started for the doors. I guess Adam saw us because he was waiting for me by the doors and he was such a jerk." Angie explained despondently.

What did he do? Fiona asked with a frown as Angie’s eyes filled with tears.

Adam, you shit.

He was all pissed off and accused me of not even waiting twenty-four hours before finding a new, convenient fuck. Said he saw me all over Matt… I lost my temper, Fi. I slapped him so hard my hand still hurts. Angie admitted in a hoarse, tormented whisper.

Good. The dumbass deserved that.

Austin felt the anger pulsing through him at his brother’s stupidity as his hands tightened on the steering wheel. It was so much easier to forget his own nightmare when he could focus on his annoyance at his twin.

Why would he think I’d ever be like that? Angie continued dejectedly.

Damn, Angie, he sounds jealous as hell, Fiona gaped.

Or like a complete ass! Angie growled as her eyes hardened in anger.

Austin parked his car in the garage and turned the engine off as Fiona and Angie left the car. He was fighting the urge to hit the wall of the garage as all of the horrible emotions he’d been battling flared and mingled with the irritation he felt at Adam’s new step toward being an absolute ass beyond redemption. Angie and Fiona started walking toward the house, until Fiona paused and turned.

Are you coming in? she asked Austin.

Yeah. Just give me a minute. I’m going to check on the boys. He answered as he left the garage and moved toward where his two roans, Cain and Abel were standing near the fence.

Okay, Fiona nodded.

Austin waited until the women were in the house before pulling his cell phone out and dialing his brother’s number.

You need to pull your head out of your ass, man. Or I will come and do it for you. Austin snarled when Adam answered as he reached up to scratch behind Cain’s ear.

2

What happened with Austin? When you left, you weren’t sure he wanted to be engaged anymore. Did he tell you why he disappeared? Angie asked as they entered the house.

Yes, but I’m more worried about you… Fiona protested.

No. I’m tired of thinking about that asshat. If you tell me what’s going on with you, it’ll distract me and that’s what I want.

Fine. Yes, I know what happened. And really, I probably would have had the exact same reaction. Fiona acquiesced, uncomfortable and wary.

And? Angie prompted.

And I read the letter that he got and it’s so fucked up.

How so?

You remember me telling you about Cassie, the woman he was engaged to?

Yeah. She was a cop who worked with Matt Durmond. She lied to Austin about being undercover and shit.

"Well, it’s the shit that is coming back to haunt. And Dr. Gould has referred him to a counselor so he can deal with the shit that keeps piling up." Fiona grimaced sourly.

That bad?

Worse.

Oh damn. What did she do?

I can’t… I… Austin hasn’t…

No. I get it. If Austin isn’t ready to share, then don’t.

Fiona sat Angie down on the couch but before she could sit as well, Angie stood and walked into the kitchen. She watched as Angie put her elbows on the counter and dropped her head between them. Fiona knew her friend’s moods and behavior would be manic at best, swinging like a vicious pendulum until Angie managed to gain some semblance of control over her emotions.

Sorry, I just… I’m so angry. I want to punch his lights out and… Angie muttered.

Oh, how well I know that feeling, Fiona snorted.

How the hell could he think that I’d do something like that? Angie snarled then gasped as though suffering from severe physical pain. "Why would he? How could he spend all that time with me and not know me?"

Fiona walked over to her friend, her heart aching for Angie yet yearning to strangle Adam. Her body was exhausted and she wanted nothing more than Austin’s reassurance. She put her arm around Angie, taking her by surprise.

Still not used to you doing that, Angie muttered.

Yeah well, me either, but it’s getting easier every time I do it. Ella didn’t leave much room for my issues to cloud shit. Fiona smirked.

That’s Bri’s little girl?

Yeah. She’s a doll.

Fiona smiled as she thought of the tiny little girl and her brother, Benji that her sister, Briana, and brother-in-law, Dean, had adopted over the summer. Ella hadn’t wasted any time laying claim to Fiona’s heart and had become her shadow over the summer. Fiona’s smile faltered as she remembered the devastated look on Ella’s sweet little face when Fiona had had to leave so abruptly just a few days earlier. Fiona made a mental note to call Briana to let her know that Angie was no longer struggling with the dangerous depression that had called Fiona home.

What am I gonna do, Fi? Angie breathed.

You’re going to just breathe. What is it you’ve always told me? If it’s meant to be, then he’ll pull his head out of his ass.

Angie’s chuckle was watery as she leaned into Fiona. She fought the tingle of panic that threatened and rubbed Angie’s back. Not fair when you use my own words against me.

I never promised fair. I promised to always be there. Fiona reminded. Angie straightened and walked around the island into the kitchen area. Moving as though she lived there, as comfortable in this kitchen as her own, Angie began cleaning up after Austin’s despondent week alone. Fiona watched her, finally breathing a little easier. Once Angie got to the point of cleaning, Fiona knew her friend would begin to slowly recover at least for the moment.

Austin still hadn’t come into the house by the time that Angie had finished cleaning the kitchen. Fiona smiled to herself and shook her head.

I want you to go take a nap. I know you haven’t slept for shit. Fiona chided Angie.

Yeah… Angie breathed but didn’t argue with Fiona. She dried her hands, started the dishwasher then went to the spare bedroom with the coral colored walls. Fiona wished that she too could rest, but the residual heartache from her week long separation from Austin and his intensely stressful situation weighed heavily on her and made her mind race. She pulled her cell phone from her pocket again and dialed her sister’s number in Montana.

Hello? Briana’s voice was a cool balm to the hot mess in her mind.

Hey Bri, it’s Fi.

Fi! How’s Angie?

Depressed as hell, but not dangerously so. Adam hurt her… bad. I don’t know if he can fix it either. Fiona admitted tiredly.

And you’re exhausted to the point of collapse, aren’t you?

I don’t know if I’m that bad yet, but I’m pretty damn tired.

Have you seen Austin? Briana asked quietly, her voice wary.

Yeah. We’ve talked, but there is a ton of shit we still need to deal with. He’s finally getting some help though, so maybe we’ll survive.

That’s good. Did he say why he left that way?

Fiona rubbed her burning eyes and sighed. Yeah, but I don’t think I’m ready to share that yet. It’s pretty fucked up and I want to make sure shit with Austin isn’t going to blow up in my face.

Fair enough. Give Angie and Austin a hug for me and go get some sleep.

Only if you promise to Skype with me tomorrow so I can see Ella, Fiona smiled softly.

Best idea ever. She’s been moping and hugging on Priscilla since you left. Briana agreed.

Oh man. I’m sorry, Bri.

I understand, Fi. It’s okay, I promise.

Okay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow then.

Okay. Love you, Fi.

Love you back.

Fiona pressed end and pocketed her phone again. With a heavy sigh that turned into a deep yawn, she reached for the stack of mail.

* * *

The first thing that Austin noticed when he walked into the house was the sound of the dishwasher running. Great, someone cleaned up my mess. I’m a dick. He came around to the kitchen and found Fiona sorting the mail, Angie nowhere to be seen.

Where’s Angie? he asked as he leaned against the counter, next to where Fiona stood.

She’s taking a nap. I don’t think she’s been sleeping well and the whole thing at the mall did her in. Fiona shrugged without looking up.

No, I’m not, Angie winced as she entered the kitchen from the other side of the room. She went to the couch in the living room, grabbed Fiona’s winter bathrobe and wrapped herself in it. I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes I see that asshat’s face. Sorry, Austin.

Fiona sighed as Austin moved toward Angie.

Don’t worry about it. I’ve called him worse. Austin shook his head and pulled her into a hug. He sighed and let Angie go, his mind too turbulent and his body too restless. I should go call Matt and see what he knows.

Austin, why did you leave the ranch that way? Angie asked as Austin paced restlessly. He stiffened and scowled. He could feel Fiona’s eyes on him and knew she wondered if he’d actually tell Angie when he’d had so much trouble telling her.

Fiona can tell you. I need to make a call. Austin growled as he walked to the master bedroom and closed the door. It felt like everything was closing in on him again and soon everyone would know what a complete fool he’d been.

Austin moved across the room to the chaise lounge he’d gotten for Fiona when she’d moved in with him and sat heavily. He yanked his cell phone from his pocket and the wretched letter from Arizona fluttered limply to the floor. It was starting to get tattered and torn and Austin couldn’t help but feel the same way. He scrolled through his contacts and dialed Matt Durmond’s number.

Durmond, Matt deep voice answered on the third ring.

Matt, Austin.

Hey, what’s up? You back in town?

Austin cringed at Matt’s genuinely pleased tone. He sighed heavily and rubbed his tired eyes.

I don’t know if I am or not. Can I ask you something? Austin muttered.

Sure, what’s wrong?

Did you and Cassie have to go to Phoenix for some sort of training three summers ago? Austin held his breath as he waited for Matt to confirm or deny his suspicions. The silence on the line was deafening and Austin felt his heart sinking.

Hmmm… three summers? That would have been when I was dating Meredith. No. Mere and I took a vacation to Vegas that summer but that’s the closest I’ve ever been to Arizona. Why?

Austin felt like his guts were going to explode as the misery of this new piece of information laid siege to his already tormented soul. She lied about that too. Was she ever honest about anything?

She told me in May of that year that she had to go to Arizona for some sort of training and she’d be gone all summer, Austin breathed painfully. Matt was silent for a long moment.

You know, now I think about it, I remember she was acting strange for about a month and then in May she took all of her vacation and sick time and said she had some family issues to deal with. She came back at the end of September looking tired and depressed but refused to talk about it.

Yeah. I remember. She wouldn’t tell me what was wrong either. Then she was gone before the end of December.

That’s right. Why does this matter, Austin? Matt finally asked.

Because I now know why she left, why she lied, and was depressed, Austin choked.

Oh?

Yeah. She was pregnant, Matt. She left in May to hide it from everybody. She had the kid then came back after.

The silence was so loud and long that Austin thought that maybe he’d lost the connection with his friend until he heard the sound of Matt’s breathing.

Jesus, was all Matt uttered but Austin couldn’t help but agree. I had no idea.

Yeah, me either.

Did she give the kid up?

No.

No? Matt asked incredulously.

No. She had some woman named Elise Montrose raising the boy. Austin gagged.

How did you find this out? Matt asked in concern.

I got a certified letter from a lawyer in Phoenix with a photocopy of the boy’s birth certificate.

Is the boy yours?

I don’t know yet. I had the test done this morning and I’m supposed to find out tomorrow.

Jesus, Austin. I had no idea Cassie was hiding so much from everyone. What does Fiona think? Matt asked unhappily.

Fiona is amazing and I don’t deserve her. She’s standing by me, supporting me as long as I don’t shut her out again. Austin snorted, disbelief and gratitude at war in his words.

Again?

Yeah. It’s been a really long and mostly shitty summer. Between Adam and his dumbass stunt that landed him in the hospital and dealing with the shit in Montana, I started doing what I’ve always done and pushed her away.

I’m going to wager that that didn’t go over very well, Matt muttered sardonically. Austin knew that Matt didn’t know of Fiona’s personal hell but he did know her well enough to know that she wouldn’t accept being treated that way for very long.

Not so much. I asked her to marry me and then I pushed her away when I got that letter. I left her there and she’s warned me that I’m on my last chance. I believe her.

But she’s there now. Prove to her that you won’t push her away again. Did she say yes? Matt said encouragingly.

Yes, Austin almost cried. He was so happy that she’d agreed to keep wearing his ring that he couldn’t manage to breathe for a long moment. It overwhelmed him to think how close to losing her he’d come and yet she was still there with him.

Congratulations, man. You deserve to be happy and Fiona is good for you.

Thanks Matt. And thanks for helping me put some more pieces of this fucked up puzzle together.

Yeah. Sorry I couldn’t help more.

No, you told me what I needed. I’ll talk to you later.

Sure. Let me know what happens.

You got it, Matt.

Austin hung up feeling older than his years and twice as tired.

* * *

Fiona locked up the house and turned the lights out after giving Angie one of the sleeping pills that Dr. Gould had prescribed for Angie years ago. Austin hadn’t resurfaced after casually giving her permission to share the contents of the letter he’d gotten and rapid retreat from the room. She was bone tired, yet leery of what mood Austin would be in when she went in search of him. Her trepidation made her want to sleep in the other spare bedroom while her need to be reassured of his love pushed her toward the closed master bedroom door.

With her heart in her throat, Fiona opened the bedroom door and stepped in. Austin was on the bed, fully clothed with his arm over his eyes and a look of abject misery on his handsome face. Fiona’s heart ached for him and she desperately wanted to hold him the way he’d always done for her at her lowest, but she didn’t know if she was welcome. When he turned his head and held his hand out to her, his amber eyes pleading desperately for comfort, waves of relief washed over her, making her dizzy and weak-kneed. Needing no other invitation, Fiona moved to the bed.

Hey, she murmured softly.

Hey. Does Angie think I’m a complete dumbass now? Austin asked morosely. Welcome to the dark side of depression, Cowboy.

No, she thinks Cassie is a royal bitch who needs a serious beating. I concur with Angie. Fiona smirked as she laid her head on Austin’s broad, hard chest.

I’m starting to feel the same way.

Who did you call?

Matt Durmond.

Oh boy.

Yeah. He just confirmed more lies. It is unbelievable just how deceitful Cassie was. I don’t understand how she managed to carry on so many lies without getting them messed up.

Some people just have talent, Fiona sighed. I think what we should do right now, though, is go to bed and face this mess together tomorrow.

As long as it’s together, I’m good with that.

Ten minutes later, Austin held the covers up for Fiona to slide between then followed her. Fiona relished the warm, security that washed over her as his arms closed around her.

I’m so, so sorry I left the way I did. I missed you so much, Austin hissed in a pained voice. Fiona bit back the snarky comment that came to her lips.

Shhh, just hold me, Cowboy, Fiona murmured. "I don’t want to fight and I really don’t want to talk about that woman anymore."

I love you, Fi. Everything feels right when you’re in my arms.

Then don’t let me go.

You’re beautiful, Austin sighed as he turned to lay on his side, looking down at her. Fiona gazed up at his handsome face, his amber eyes alight with desire, the heavy scruff on his cheeks, his sensual lips. Her heart beat raced and her body began aching to feel the inferno that only Austin created in her. She reached up and ran her fingers up his cheek into his thick rust colored hair, her nails scraping his scalp lightly.

God, I want you, he breathed.

I’m right here. Make me feel… make the last week go away. Fiona begged. Austin groaned as he ran his hand up her thigh, his rough hand on her skin inflaming her. Fiona’s breath caught in her chest as his hand closed around her breast, the pad of his thumb brushing across her nipple. He bent, touching his lips to hers and she closed her fist in his hair, pulling him closer, kissing him deeply.

Austin’s mouth was hot against her cheek as he kissed his way down to find her earlobe and fondle the studs there with his tongue. Fiona moaned as the spark of her desire to have Austin flared. His mouth, lips, tongue, and hands fanned the flames into a raging inferno until she was certain she was moments away from turning to ash. The heat of his erection pressed against her and she craved more.

Slowly, as though to drive her completely mad, Austin entered her and Fiona moaned at the decadent sensation. Trusting that he’d protect her, she let her body take over and raised her hips