Curious Times: Curious Things, #2

By Joanne Van Leerdam

Friday, the magical black cat with a devilish sense of justice, returns in a second collection of macabre and darkly humorous stories. Set at significant times of the year, these stories celebrate key events while Friday delivers his own brand of feline justice to people who fully deserve what's coming to them. 

If you have ever wished for revenge, or taken pleasure in seeing horrible people get their just desserts, this book is for you. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: WordyNerdBird
• Release date: Sep 29, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386998174

Joanne Van Leerdam

Joanne Van Leerdam is a poet, blogger, writer, thinker, puzzler, teacher, traveller, photographer and generally nice person. Despite having lived all her life in Australia, she has, thus, far, avoided being killed or consumed by any of the deadly wildlife, which is probably a good thing.  Other than Australia, Canada is her favourite place in the world.  In addition to writing powerful, thought-provoking poetry and short-but-incredibly meaningful stories,  she teaches senior high school English, History and Drama/Production. She is an active member and performer in her local theatre company.   Her poetry is contemporary, sensual, moody and easy to read - and it will get you in the feelings.

Book preview

A Curious Friday Afternoon

A Curious Christmas Eve

A Curious New Year’s Eve

A Curious Valentine’s Day

A Curious Halloween

Benjamin Harris Hardy Heathcote III crept noiselessly down the street, ducking and darting behind trees and fences and peering out before taking a few more stealthy steps and taking cover again behind the next opportunely placed bush or parked car. 

A few metres behind him, another boy followed, making sure to not make any noise or create any distraction as his leader stalked his prey.

Across the street, and a little further behind, Billy walked along the footpath quietly, bemused. He hung back, determined not to become the intrepid hunter's next target. 

Does he really think nobody can see him? Billy muttered. Doesn’t he realise he’s not actually in the jungle? 

The second boy stopped walking, scowled at Billy, and crossed quickly to where Billy stood. 

Got something to say, loser? Abe kept his voice low, but whether that was to sound threatening or to avoid annoying Benjamin wasn’t clear.

Must have said that louder than I thought. Kicking himself mentally for his mistake, Billy pressed his lips together in a straight line. He had no desire to finish the school year by getting beaten up on his way home. 

I don’t want to hear a scrawny kid like you saying things you shouldn’t, Abe growled as he pushed Billy roughly.  Billy took two involuntary steps backwards, but stayed on his feet. 

A shadow fell across Billy’s face as Benjamin stood over him. 

Benjamin Harris Hardy Heathcote III, world famous hunter of rare and unusual beasts, requires that you shut up, get lost, and do not disturb his prey. Benjamin’s eyes flashed with contempt and his upper lip curled in a mean sneer. 

Too late. Consider me startled. It was all Billy could do to keep his face calm and not let Benjamin and Abe see his fear. 

Benjamin Harris Hardy Heathcote III is displeased by your failure to respond appropriately. 

Billy’s forehead furrowed into a frown and his mouth opened, ready and waiting for the words that were still jumbling around in his head. Those words assembled themselves into a dangerous, burdensome question that ran through his mind and prepared to rush right out of his mouth before he thought better of it and clamped his mouth shut again. Billy dropped his gaze and stared at his feet, unwilling to make any sound or impede Ben's exploits any further. 

Perhaps the puny specimen is mute. Let us continue, Abe. Benjamin Harris Hardy Heathcote III is hunting something fearsome!

The two older boys returned to the other side of the street. Ben resumed his stealthy progress while Abe followed at what he understood was a safe distance. 

Crouched behind a stone pillar that housed a fancy letterbox, Ben looked back at Abe and placed his finger over his lips to signal that he required silence, then turned and gazed at the black cat sunning itself on a garden wall across the street.  Abe halted, hidden by the trunk of a large tree that shaded the footpath. 

Benjamin loaded his slingshot and spoke in a low voice as he began to take aim.  Benjamin Harris Hardy Heathcote III has sighted a panther. The largest of the black cat family, it is a most dangerous creature, a threat to the safety of humanity!

Billy’s breath caught in his throat at the moment when Ben produced a slingshot from his backpack. He followed the bully’s line of sight and saw the cat, sleek and black, apparently oblivious to the peril it was about to face. 

Benjamin Harris Hardy Heathcote III has found himself in danger, his very life in jeopardy as this predator sniffs at the hunter's scent in the air. Yet it is not fear that the beast smells, for the hunter has no fear.

Don’t you dare. Don’t even think about it, you mean, nasty, horrible boy! For half a moment, Billy hesitated. He knew there was no way he could allow something so awful to happen. Then, instead of hanging back as his fear of Benjamin begged him to do, he sped up his steps and walked right into Benjamin’s line of sight. He didn’t stop until he stood between the boy and his intended victim.

Hello, Puss, he said gently. That’s not a safe place for you to be sleeping right now.

Friday turned his green eyes toward Billy and purred. He had seen the boys and the slingshot, and while he had no intention of allowing the young thug to shoot him with it, he very much appreciated the bravery of the young lad who had stepped in to protect him. Friday stood, twitching his tail as two figures approached and loomed behind Billy.

"Benjamin Harris Hardy Heathcote III wishes to