Her Healing Heart

By Pixie Rix

Mika is a world famous Tennis player and her life at home is terrible. She has an abusive grandmother and an absent mother from her Life. Then she meets Caleb Daniels and he tries to destroy the relationship she has with her long Time boyfriend. When Life gets to much Mika ends up in the hospital after trying to kill herself. Secrets are uncovered and she loses the love of her life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Pixie Rix
• Release date: Jul 23, 2018
• ISBN: 9780463068632

Pixie Rix

There is something strange and unique about writing. Something I can never quite understand or interpret. Someone once asked me if I meant any of what I wrote, if it based on life experience, if the stories I tell if my characters are real. To me they are, each story, each person, they are real in my writer’s mind and converse and argue with me daily on what is to happen to their lives. Reality is the bucket of cold water which is where no one knows my characters like I do, no one understands. Writers are forever alone; I have found out. For me the smiles and metaphors are ways of remembering, tormenting us almost with their unique life that needs to be written. What we write, we feel. We live, we experience. It’s a parallel world to ours, always. The other side of the mirror. What I write is real to me as my reflection. But then, crazy people see all sorts of things, don’t they? This book represents some of the tears I couldn’t cry, some of the terror behind my smiling eyes. This book exists because one night I told myself that I had to swallow up all the fear and pain around me, and once it was inside me I had to transform it all into something beautiful.

Book preview

Chapter One

I stood at the gate watching as the furniture was being carried inside the house. For the first time in my life it felt like I would finally have a home. Nothing in life ever felt like home. My parents moved around a lot because of my mother’s work. It has been a year since I last saw my mother the feeling of pain and rejection every time I thought about my mother nearly brought me to my knees. I was living with my grandparent’s. They were not my real family; my mother was only married to their son. I felt sick instantly thinking about my stepfather. I hated him I only endured him because of my mother, I didn’t want to give her more reasons to hate me. I looked up at the sky trying to get the power I needed to gather my thoughts, but it was no use, the memories of him doing things to me, came flooding back. His hands on me, his stinking breath, the weight of his body on mine send tears to my eyes thinking of it all, it was too much.

I was about four or five at the time he started sneaking into my room at night. He told me that I was special in so many ways and that no one should ever know about our special time. At seventeen I knew better than I did a few years ago. It felt like it would never end. I was about nine when my mother found out about what was going on. Beth was doing the laundry one day and saw something in my underwear and she went bat-shit crazy on me, I wanted to lie about it but when the first hit landed on my left cheek the truth came from mouth like water running down a stream, once I started talking I couldn’t stop. My mother was away again that week when I told Beth, I was locked away from everyone until my mother came back home. By then most of the people in the family knew about what happened. From that point on everyone treated me with so much disgust that I never wanted to go anywhere where the whole family gathered together.

My mother was told about everything and all hell broke loose in the house that night. The sick son of a bitch told my mother that I seduced him. Fuck I was only six or so when it started. How the hell would I have known about shit like that? I will never forget that night, years later it still haunted me. I felt a light breeze and looked up at the trees. I felt a tear slip down my cheek. My mother was furious that night, the last time I saw her that mad was when Beth hit me in the face. The way she looked at me was dreadful. She and Barry had a huge fight that night, every time he spoke he blamed everything on me. I never asked him to come into my room at night, I never asked him to touch me in places that were inappropriate. I never asked anything off them, I only needed my mother.

When the screaming stopped, my mother came out of the room heading straight for me where I was seated on the couch. I was afraid of her for the first time in my life, she bended down on her knees in front of me and took my hands in hers. I remember crying. She looked at me and there was no smile in her eyes-only shock and disappointment. Was this my fault I thought to myself? Could I have given him a reason to come to my room at night was there truth behind his accusations? She lifted my chin, so I could look at her.

If this happens again I will send you away.

I closed my eyes as I felt the tears fall from my eyes, she didn’t even hug or try to comfort me. I wanted to tell her this wasn’t my fault, I didn’t want her to send me away. She stood up and walked out of the room, leaving me alone no more words or any form of comfort she just left the room never once looking back at me. I felt completely alone and so lost. I heard a loud hoot behind me and snapped back to reality.

The truck was in the way of some ass who could easily pass at the right. I looked back at the house. This would be a test of will power to stay in the same house as that bitch. Why my mother made me live with her I would never understand, why not send me to my dad, at least he loved me and wanted me with him. He would never reject me or send me away. The day I told him about Barry he lost it completely, he was locked up for assault, but mom convinced Barry to drop the charges and since then I was only allowed to see dad under supervisions. The court was afraid he would lose his temper again and take it out on me, if they only knew the truth about why dad hit Barry they would take me away and I would never have to see any of them again, but it didn’t matter she wasn’t with me so being with my dad seemed really appealing now.

***

What the hell was all the commotion about this early in the day Caleb thought as he walked out of the gate? There was a truck standing in the driveway to Grant’s house, his friend died two months ago in a horrible car accident, I didn’t even know the place was sold. As soon as I reached the end of the truck I froze in my steps. Looking up at the sky was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on. She looked back at the house and I could not believe how blue her eyes were. She had long black hair tide loosely at the back. Small nose and luscious full lips. Never in my entire life have I seen anyone so perfectly built. She looked like an athlete and those legs could drive a man to suicide.

***

Hi there.

Mika looked from the house to the person standing in front of her. I looked back behind me making sure he was talking to me, it wasn’t that guys fell over their feet to talk to me when my step sister was near, she wasn’t even close to us. He touched my shoulder and I looked back at him.

Hi.

I finally got the words out.

I didn’t know someone was moving in next door, he continued to talk to me.

I smiled at him, well I just came along for the ride.

I couldn’t help but smile at him. He laughed, and it took me completely by surprise. I studied him for a while. He was sexy I noted to myself. Dark brown hair, the most beautiful green eyes that could look deep into a person soul. He was handsome. I wasn’t blind to the way men looked, Steven and Jason were just as insanely hot as this man before me. He reached out his hand to me, I took his hand in mine and felt the heat making its way through my body.

I’m Caleb Daniels I live next door,

I kept looking at my hand in his trying to remember what I was supposed to say.

Mika Meiser I replied after a while. Why did it sound like a question? I smiled back at him as he kept holding my hand.

Nice to meet you.

The pleasure is all mine Mika.

Mikayla!

I heard my name coming from the house, I hated it when she used my full name. Mikayla was the famous tennis player that the world only saw when in a match and during interviews with the press or some charity event Ray forced on her she donated but hated attending. Mika was just me, the teenage girl that went to school and had friends and homework, the girl the world never got to see. I looked at Beth as she walked towards us, I could tell she was pissed. Caleb let go of my hand and I felt a cold shiver run down my spine. She looked from me to Caleb. I knew I was about to get my hair pulled again and braced myself for the confrontation that was about to happen as soon as she got me alone. She grabbed my arm and dug her nails into my flesh. I flinched as she dug her nails harder into my sensitive flesh that was only now healing from the marks she left a couple of weeks ago. Caleb lifted his hand to her.

I’m Caleb Daniels, I live next door, he introduced himself, she took his hand and shook it.

Beth Lesher, I’m Mikayla’s grandmother. If you would excuse us, we have a lot of unpacking to do and I need her help. He looked at my arm where it started turning red. I looked to the ground avoiding his gaze, if I gave any indication that I was in pain Beth would bring hell down on me. I was pulled inside the gate towards the door. I looked back around and locked gazes with him, he smiled unsure of himself and I looked as he started walking away and that feeling of being alone came back with blunt force.

***

She looked so sad, her smile took me completely by surprise. She looked afraid when Beth came to stand next to her, and as soon as she took Mika’s arm I knew why she was afraid. The girl tried to hide the pain caused by Beth, but I could see the unshed tears in her eyes. I stopped when I heard Beth yell at her, I turned around and went back home, I wanted to get to know her better those blue eyes held so many secrets and pain, I wanted to know each one of them. As soon as I entered the kitchen mom had a cup of coffee in her hand.

Mom I want to invite the neighbours over for dinner tonight, they just moved in and I don’t think they will be in the mood to cook.

Sure, honey it would be fun to meet new people, she said as she patted my head like a six-year-old.

***

Beth let me go once we stepped into the kitchen and she slapped me across the face, the pain splintered on my cheek the taste of blood filling my mouth.

I told you to go unpack your room. Terri is tired after the move and she needs her rest, she has a very important photo shoot tomorrow, and she can’t help me with all of this on her own.

I wanted to scream at her to leave me alone that I wasn’t her punching bag. I deserved better in life. I hated the whole lot of them. I never wanted to move, I never wanted my mother to send me away. The pain in my heart expand to the point that I couldn’t breathe. I sometimes wish I could just die, then all of this would stop, no more pain and bad memories the second blow took me by surprise when it landed on my face. I looked back at her through a blurred vision as tears kept falling from my eyes. She started screaming at me, every word poison to my soul ripping me apart leaving only a shell of a person behind. I fell on my knees, God please make this stop I can’t take this anymore, I prayed in silence as Beth kept hitting me I stopped fighting her back a long time ago and I knew I was being punished for something.

Beth that’s enough!

I heard my grandfather speak from behind her. I just sat there I couldn’t move, I looked up as my grandfather pushed Beth out of the kitchen to the bedroom.

I can’t stand it when she disobeys me, I heard her yell. I got to my feet and walked to my room on shaking legs I knew would give in underneath me as soon as I closed my door behind me. I heard a knock on my door and looked at my grandfather as he entered.

I’m sorry honey, I didn’t know she was at it again until I heard her screaming at you. He pulled me into his arms and held me tight as I started crying again. Joseph and Raymond were the only two who didn’t treat me any differently. They accepted and loved me just the way I was. They never tried to change me into someone I could never be. Beth always wanted me to be more of a model type of girl like Terri.

I gave Beth her medication she would probably be out for the rest of the day he said patting my back. I stepped back and looked at the boxes in the room and gave him a faint smile.

Well then I should get started before she wakes up then. I watched as he closed the door and I fell on the bed. I closed my eyes and released my breath. I couldn’t take this anymore. I got up and took my cigarettes from my pocked and went outside to have a smoke it was a bad habit, but I needed the distraction.

Chapter Two

I stood on the ladder hanging my curtains when something outside caught my eye. I lowered the curtain and looked at Caleb through the window. He was cute, I would be stupid not to admit it. He looked at me and smiled. I waved at him and smiled back at him. He looked away at something and I followed his gaze. I should have known Terri would catch his attention soon enough. She was beautiful, long blond hair, a heart shaped face with legs that went on for days with grey eyes that brought men to their knees. I never stood a chance with a guy when she was around I was told enough times that Terri was the beautiful one and that I could never look anything like her that I believed it. Not that I was interested, the only man who would never stare at Terri was Riven, he only had eyes for me. I saw him walking to her and smiled at them Terry had this one in the bag. She was flirting with him, he looked back at me when Terri pointed a perfectly manicured finger in my direction and she laughed at something he said. I looked away and pulled the curtain back up to finish hanging it. When I was done I went to put away the ladder and looked at Raymond as he and Terri walked back to the house, sharing a deep connection I would never know. I didn’t belong with any of them, they weren’t my family. I didn’t have any other siblings of my own and would never know that connection with someone. Dad never remarried, and mom and Barry didn’t have any other kids when they got married. I didn’t get to see much of my own family. They were a shame to the Lesher’s and no one associated with them. I stood there watching them and Raymond looked at me and smiled.

How’s the unpacking going bunny?

I smiled and walked towards him,

I’m not sure how unpacking is supposed to go but I guess it’s going as planned.

He laughed and watched as Terri came back from her phone call to stand beside her brother.

Have you met our next-door neighbour?

Yes, we met earlier this afternoon, I replied. Terri smiled but it never reached her eyes. Strange that he didn’t mention it, she replied. I didn’t know what she was implying but I wasn’t in the mood to get in an argument with her.

It was n brief introduction, I responded. Raymond chuckled, he must have felt the tension between me and Terri and pulled her closer to him.

Terri, you know that men forget their own names when you are around. You should have made one hell of an impression on him if he couldn’t even remember our little bunny here. I hated that nickname, I was happy he was the only one who used it. I started walking to the door when Terri and Raymond started laughing again. It wasn’t fun being the joke of the family.

When I’m done with him you can have him Mika, it’s time that you got laid and someone pops your cherry.

I froze on the spot, your seventeen and I can guarantee you that you haven’t even had sex yet, I hope Riven will make an honest woman off you soon, or you could give Caleb a chance to change the status of your virginity, once I’m done with him of course.

I wanted to turn around and kick her ass, but I would be the one getting my ass kicked if Beth found out. I didn’t have space for more marks on my face and body, there was just so much you could cover up. Pain washed over me as memories started to come back that was the hardest thing of my life a simple word or a place could trigger the most painful memories and there was never a way to get them away. I walked as fast as I could to my room to hide the tears that were fighting for release. I slammed the door closed as soon as I reached my bedroom and fell in front of my bed on my knees. It’s been four years and the memory is still so clear. If they only knew of the pain I carried inside of me. I wish I could say my cherry as Terri put it was still there. My mother was at work that day, the rest of my siblings left before I got the chance to get dressed. I didn’t want to be alone with Barry. The molesting never stopped after my mother found out, I was afraid to tell her after she threatened to send me away. Berry knew I would never want my mother to send me away and he used it against me. When I stepped out of my room he called me back. I remember the fear that I felt panic raising up and chocking me preventing me from breathing. I walked to the room slowly and stood still at my mother’s bedroom door. He patted the space beside him on the bed and looked at me.

Your mother asked me to have a talk with you. I started moving back away from the room.

Mikayla, I will tell your mother you disobeyed me. I stopped moving, I didn’t want to disobey my mother, but something in the way he looked at me told me that my mother would never allow the conversation that was about to take place between us.

Come have a seat next to me so we can talk. I didn’t move, I couldn’t move the fear gripped my heart, I started praying silently that God would protect me from him. But God never listened even though I asked him all the time. He swore as he moved toward me and pulled me into the room, pushing me down on to the bed.

Your mother asked that I should see if you still had your virginity he said breathing heavily in my ear. I couldn’t move, his heavy body kept mine pinned on the bed. He slipped my shorts down with my bikini bottoms. I closed my eyes afraid to open them. The next moment a pain I couldn’t describe ripped over me as something hard pushed into my body, I couldn’t scream, he held his hand over my mouth I started crying uncontrollably the pain didn’t stop, he just kept moving and the pain got much worse. After what felt like an eternity he moved of me and pulled his pants back up.

You should go clean yourself up, your mother would be pleased to know you are still a virgin, he said as he walked out the door. I picked up my shorts from the floor and ran to the bathroom. I remembered the blood I washed from between my legs. I remember the pain as if it was yesterday I had trouble walking up straight for a few days after that day. I couldn’t believe that my mother would have asked him something like that. As I walked back to the living room after the shower I looked at Kelvin and Bruce they were playing on the PlayStation with Barry on the sofa acting like nothing happened. Kelvin looked up at me and smiled.

We came to get you to come join the rest of us at the pool. Your dad told us that you were just getting ready.

They were my mother’s friend’s sons, three years older than I was.