Gorgeous Girls and Beastly Folk: Another Opinionated Essay From the Same Disgusted Narrator: Snarktales From Fairyland, #2

By Kilmeny Reade

The Snarky Narrator Returns...And He (She?) Is As Disgruntled As Ever...

...Do you envy Beauty for her  Gargantuan Library more than you do her prince?
...Have you ever thought it Rather Odd of the Beast to make such a fuss over a little rose?
...And was there or was there not a Roguish Suitor after Beauty's hand?

So ask we all!

These and many more questions the Snarky Narrator grapples with as he (maybe she) returns to once again salivate the inhabitants of the fairytales we all know and love and feel exasperation with. 

This is the tale of Beauty and the Beast.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kilmeny Reade
• Release date: Sep 12, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386329206

Kilmeny Reade

KILMENY READE is an artist and a writer from the Ozark Mountains. She loves books, nature, family, chocolate, and unicorns (especially all together). Her main goal in life is to spend more time with her family, getting out in the woods as much as possible, and tell as many stories and create as much art as she can. You can find out more about her at www.kilmenyreade.wordpress.com

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A Word of Warning

How these notes came to be written is uncertain, and little is known of this mysterious folklorist, historian and essayist who calls him (or possibly her)self The Snarky Narrator. It is suspected he (or mayhap, she) lived in the nineteenth century and was fond of sending his sarcastic missives to well known collectors and writers of fairy lore and folktales. Whether this was meant as heckling or simply an attempt to get into print will probably never be known.

What is certain is that The Snarky Narrator was terribly fond of capitals and parenthesis, slathering them about carelessly, without regard for any of the rules for proper writing. For the sake of clarity, the editors attempted to clean it up a bit and finally gave the job up in complete despair (also we were running out of hair to pull out).

In the end, chalk it up to preserving the voice of an ancient (if unknown) historian, and read at your own peril. We undertook the making of this collection merely in the cause of preserving history. You however, are under no obligation to continue reading.

Enjoy now (if you dare), the Snarktales from a Disgruntled Narrator.

Gorgeous Girls and Beastly Folk

ONCE UPON A time there lived a wealthy family. It consisted of a well–meaning widower, his two snotty elder daughters of Little Consequence, his Inconsequential Sons,  and his Slightly ClumsyYounger Daughter, who was referred to by all as Beauty.  I don’t know how accurate a nickname it was, but obviously somebody thought so. Her clumsiness was mostly owing to the fact that she nearly always had her nose in a book and didn’t watch where