If Just One Person (The Suicide of Shari Jensen)

By Laurie Olerich

I could be you. I probably was you . . . before I became me.

It didn’t happen overnight. My downward spiral started years ago. Once upon a time, I was happy and young and pretty. I had my whole life ahead of me and a heart full of bouncing optimism that kept me smiling and cheerful. That was 20 years ago though. Things have changed. Now?

I’m furious at everything and everyone.

The anger’s building and I can’t turn it off.

It’s only a matter of time before I unleash it on someone who doesn’t deserve it.

So lately, I’m thinking more and more about cashing out before I get any more twisted and bitter. I really want my friends and family to remember me with some love in their hearts. If I open my mouth and say what I feel, they’ll never look at me the same way again.

My suicide will be hard for them to understand, though I’m not convinced it will bother them for too long.

And at this point in my depression, I don’t care.

I’m going through the motions. Trying to get through each day with my sanity and liver intact. Money’s tight so the liver’s got a good chance of staying healthy since I can’t afford scotch anymore. Sanity? Well, now. That’s another thing entirely.

So, this is me. Shari Jensen.

Shari Jensen could be your sister, your mother, or your best friend. She’s everyone and no one. She’s an ordinary woman suffering from depression. She’s middle-aged and divorced. She has a dysfunctional family and forgetful friends. She appears strong, but deep down inside, she’s screaming for help.
Her story is hard to read, but it’s a reminder that even apparently strong, successful women can feel lost and alone behind the mask they wear for the world. It’s a reminder that just one person can make the difference between life and death.

Content warning: This story contains a first person, brutally honest expression of depression and despair, as well as a graphic depiction of a suicide.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Laurie Olerich
• Release date: Sep 5, 2018
• ISBN: 9780463487303

Laurie Olerich

Laurie Olerich is the author of the Primani and Demons After Dark series. Part romance, part paranormal, part adventure...Three things she can’t live without! Laurie spent most of her life in the Northeastern United States and in Western Europe. She now lives in San Antonio, Texas, with her son and Dalmatian muse Rambo. In an attempt to re-live her wild and crazy younger years, she lives vicariously through her characters by setting their adventures in her favorite city, New York, and the mountain forests of New England as often as possible. Before diving into a writing career, Laurie dedicated 20 years to her country by serving in the United States Air Force. Much of her time was spent around men with guns and cool toys...this explains her obsession with both.

Book preview

If Just One Person

(The Suicide of Shari Jensen)

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2018 Laurie Olerich

Discover other titles by Laurie Olerich

Demons After Dark Series:

Vanek

Benn

Koivu

Derick (Coming in 2018)

The Primani Series (includes the Lost Soul Trilogy and standalone titles):

The Lost Soul Trilogy:

Primani

Call the Lightning

Stone Angels

Standalone Titles in the Primani Series:

Broken Souls

Darkness Calling

Saol Mates

Daddy’s Little Demon Slayer

Smashwords Edition License Notes

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Forward:

Shari Jensen could be me; she could be you; she could be your sister, your mother, or your best friend. She’s everyone and no one. She’s an ordinary woman suffering from depression. She’s middle-aged and divorced. She has a dysfunctional family and forgetful friends. She appears strong, but deep down inside, she’s screaming for help.

Does this sound like someone you know?

If Just One Person (The Suicide of Shari Jensen) is a work of fiction, but the isolation, emotional pain, and hopelessness of severe, long-term depression is frighteningly real. Relying on drugs and alcohol to numb the pain and escape from bad memories is also very real. Shari’s story has been simmering in the back of my mind for years, but I was afraid to finish it. I was afraid her words were too raw, too honest, too painful, to share with the public. She cried out to be heard over and over, but no one paid attention. No one took her seriously. Her surrender to despair could have been avoided if just one person had taken action. No one did. Yes, I was uncomfortable sharing her words, but I changed my mind when I recently met a troubled young woman. Filled with promise and love, she’s struggling with her own pain and feelings of worthlessness. This young woman has everything to offer the world, but her lens is clouded with self-loathing and more shadows of memory than anyone deserves. If this sounds personal, it is. I’ve lived this life and I don’t want anyone to slip through the cracks. If I can help someone, anyone, find their way back from the edge, then I’ve done what I’ve set out to do.

Shari’s story is hard to read, but I hope it’s a reminder that even apparently strong, successful women can feel lost and alone behind the mask they wear for the world. I hope it’s a reminder that just one person can make the difference between life and death.

Remember, strength doesn’t mean bulletproof.

Please note: This story isn’t like my other books. It’s short and to the point with only the simplest scene descriptions. It could be your city, your town, or your neighborhood bar. I chose this minimalist approach because I want readers to focus on Shari and Lynna. Think of it as a play where there’s a table and two chairs on the stage. That’s it. Nothing else. Your focus is on what the characters are saying without other distractions. That’s what I tried to do here. It’s my sincere hope that you will see the story through your own lens and let Shari and Lynna live in your heart for years to come.

Content warning: This story contains a first person, brutally honest expression of depression and despair, as well as a graphic depiction of a suicide.

Shari Jensen is a fictional character. Any resemblance to an actual person, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Prologue:

You know there’s no such thing as love, right? I mean, Jesus. You probably believe in happily ever after, too. This perky observation comes from the leggy brunette owning the bar stool to my right.

I sip my bourbon and try to check her out without being too obvious. She’s dressed to slay in a black and white mini skirt, black tank top, and a pair of thigh high boots with stiletto heels. Her hair flows in layered waves across her shoulders and drips to the middle of her back.

She’s beautiful.

I’m envious.

She’s probably a bitch.

She snickers at my silence and quips, You can stop looking at my rack, darlin’. I might be desperate, but I don’t swing that way. Unless maybe there’s a man involved. She stops sucking on her straw and leans into my personal space with a grin. "Is there a man involved?" She peers around my shoulders with a hopeful gleam in her eyes.

I can’t help laughing. The sound is rusty and harsh. "God, I wish. Nope, no man. And